M\u0103 sun\u0103 azi un ins cu o voce t\u0103r\u0103g\u0103nat\u0103, antipatic\u0103.
\n-Alo, da?
\n-Loooorenaaa Luuupuuu?
\n-Da. Bun\u0103 ziua.
\n-Suuunt Giiiigeeeel.
\n-Gigel \u015fi mai cum.
\n-Giiiigeeeel Muuuieeee.
\n(nume fictiv, c\u0103 nu l-am re\u0163inut pe al apelantului.)
\n-OK, m\u0103 bucur s\u0103 v\u0103 cunosc. Zice\u0163i.
\n-Duuumneavooooastr\u0103\u0103\u0103 suuuuunteeee\u0163i actriiiii\u0163\u0103\u0103\u0103\u0103?
\n(Imagina\u0163i-v\u0103 toate aceste vocale lungi c\u00e2t postul pa\u015ftelui.)
\n-Da.
\n-V\u0103\u0103\u0103 urm\u0103\u0103\u0103resssc pe Inteeeerneeeet \u015fiii \u00ee\u00ee\u00ee\u00ee\u00eemi plaaace.
\n-Domnule, trece\u0163i v\u0103 rog la subiect?
\n-\u0102\u0103\u0103\u0103, daaar ceee see auuude laaa duuumneeeavoastr\u0103\u0103\u0103\u0103?
\n(M\u0103-ta sug\u00e2nd pula.)
\n-V-am rugat frumos s\u0103 trece\u0163i la subiect.
\n-Daaar auuuuud ceva \u00ee\u00ee\u00een fuuundal…
\n-Domnule, ce se aude \u00een casa mea nu v\u0103 prive\u015fte, v\u0103 rog respectuos s\u0103 trecem la scopul apelului, v\u0103 ascult.
\n-Suuunteeee\u0163i \u015fiii scriiitoareee, nuuuu?
\n-Da.
\n-Aaaa\u015f aveeea nevooooie deee duuuumneavoastr\u0103\u0103\u0103\u0103 s\u0103\u0103\u0103\u0103…
\n-Auzi\u0163i, domnule, nota\u0163i v\u0103 rog mailul meu. birou@lorenalupu.com. Acolo \u00eemi trimite\u0163i o descriere a proiectului, a ajutorului pe care \u00eel dori\u0163i de la mine \u015fi onorariul estimat. Mul\u0163umesc.
\n-Staaa\u0163ii a\u015faaa, suunteee\u0163i diiin Ardeeeal?
\n(\u00een pizda m\u0103-tii, nu vrei s\u0103 \u015ftii ce-am m\u00e2ncat de diminea\u0163\u0103?)
\n-De ce ar fi relevant lucrul \u0103sta, domnule?
\n-C\u0103\u0103\u0103 oaaameniii diiiin Ardeeeal suuuunt speeeciaaaali.
\n-Prefer s\u0103 fiu special\u0103 pe baz\u0103 de calit\u0103\u0163i individuale. Bun. O zi bun\u0103, a\u015ftept mailul.
\n-Daaar staaa\u0163i s\u0103\u0103\u0103\u0103… <\/p>\n
\u015ei i-am \u00eenchis cu nesa\u0163. Mam\u0103, dar cu ce nesa\u0163. Fut-o \u00een gur\u0103 pe m\u0103-sa care nu l-a \u00eenv\u0103\u0163at s\u0103 respecte timpul interlocutorului. \u015ei futu-l \u00een gur\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 la a \u015faptea genera\u0163ie pe imbecilul care i-a dat num\u0103rul meu de telefon. <\/p>\n
Dac\u0103 Rom\u00e2nia n-ar avea o rat\u0103 uria\u015f\u0103 de \u015fomaj \u015fi \u00eengrozitor de mul\u0163i pensionari, cu alte cuvinte foarte mul\u0163i oameni pentru care timpul e resurs\u0103 moart\u0103, n-ar exista lipsa asta \u00eenfior\u0103toare de respect pentru timpul omului cu care vorbe\u015fti.
\nMai ales c\u00e2nd nu cuno\u015fti persoana, nu te \u00eentinzi la telefon ca balega-n soare, pe timpul omului. Zici ce te apas\u0103. s\u0103n\u0103tate \u015fi un praz verde. Iar s\u0103 te someze cel\u0103lalt de trei ori s\u0103 zici de ce g\u00e2tu’ m\u0103-tii \u00eel fu\u0163i la cap e deja nesim\u0163ire \u00een toat\u0103 regula. <\/p>\n
Serios, a\u015f face telefonia mobil\u0103 zece dolari minutul. S\u0103 te oblige la concizie \u015fi precizie. “Bun\u0103, Lorena, te fu\u0163i?” “Nu cu tine.” “OK, o zi mi\u015fto \u00een continuare”. Sub un minut. Yeeeah. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
M\u0103 sun\u0103 azi un ins cu o voce t\u0103r\u0103g\u0103nat\u0103, antipatic\u0103. -Alo, da? -Loooorenaaa Luuupuuu? -Da. Bun\u0103 ziua. -Suuunt Giiiigeeeel. -Gigel \u015fi mai cum. -Giiiigeeeel...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9834,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10204","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/crono.jpg?fit=300%2C300&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10204","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10204"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10204\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10206,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10204\/revisions\/10206"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9834"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10204"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10204"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10204"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}