{"id":104,"date":"2008-03-12T04:37:11","date_gmt":"2008-03-12T01:37:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/2008\/03\/12\/tentativa-literara-erotica\/"},"modified":"2008-03-12T04:37:11","modified_gmt":"2008-03-12T01:37:11","slug":"tentativa-literara-erotica","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/tentativa-literara-erotica\/","title":{"rendered":"Tentativ\u0103 grafoman\u0103 erotic\u0103 :)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Caf\u00e9 Libido<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/u>\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>De <\/span>L<\/span>orena <\/span>L<\/span>upu<\/span><\/font>\u00a0<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Dramatis Personae<\/span>:<\/span><\/font>\u00a0<\/font><\/span>(\u00een ordinea intrarii \u00een\u2026\u00a0)<\/font><\/span>\u00a0<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Femeia B\u0103rbat Bine<\/span>: – <\/font><\/span>b\u0103rbat solid, autoritar, travestit, machiat \u00een exces <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Feti\u0163a ve\u015fnic Fl\u0103m\u00e2nd\u0103 – diabetic de serafic\u0103<\/span><\/p>\n

Rozeta<\/span>: – <\/font><\/span>mignon\u0103 \u015fi isteric\u0103<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Curva de 2 Lei<\/span>: – <\/font><\/span>plictisit\u0103 \u00een ultimul hal<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span>Doamna Beat\u0103 Much<\/span>: – <\/font><\/span>frumuse\u0163e clasic\u0103, \u00een rochie de sear\u0103<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Erectilul<\/span>: – <\/font><\/span>t\u00e2n\u0103r \u015fi nelini\u015ftit<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span>Lovelistul<\/span>: <\/font><\/span>– doldora de bani<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span>Formalistul<\/span>: –<\/span> <\/span><\/font>e timid dar se trateaz\u0103<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/font><\/span>\u00a0<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Decor: Local elegant, cu mobil\u0103 stil, scaune plu\u015fate, perdele grele.<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Intr\u0103<\/font><\/span> <\/span>Femeia B\u0103rbat Bine<\/span>, <\/span>\u00eenso\u0163it(\u0103) de<\/font><\/span> <\/span>Feti\u0163a Ve\u015fnic Fl\u0103m\u00e2nd\u0103<\/span> <\/span>\u015fi, la distan\u0163\u0103 considerabil\u0103, de<\/font><\/span> <\/span>Rozeta.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tabloul 1<\/span><\/u><\/h2>\n

\u00a0<\/font><\/span>\u00a0<\/font><\/span>Femeia B\u0103rbat Bine: <\/span><\/b>Tu e\u015fti fata care caut\u0103 de lucru, dr\u0103gu\u0163\u0103?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a Ve\u015fnic Fl\u0103m\u00e2nd\u0103: <\/span><\/b>Da, domnule\u2026 Doamn\u0103.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Femeia B\u0103rbat Bine: <\/span><\/b>Doamn\u0103! \u015etii care-s condi\u0163iile profesiei, nu?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Fetita:<\/span><\/b> Sunt amabil\u0103 cu clientu\u2019, \u00eel fac s\u0103 consume c\u00e2t mai mult, \u015fi la sf\u00e2r\u015fit, ne ducem la el \u00een camer\u0103 \u015fi execut\u0103m un act sexual.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F:<\/span><\/b> Comisionul t\u0103u e de 50%. E O.K.?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a: <\/span><\/b>Eu zic c\u0103 da.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F <\/span><\/b>(<\/span>o evalueaz\u0103 din priviri<\/span>): \u015ei eu zic acela\u015fi lucru\u2026 \u00cencepi din seara asta!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a: (<\/span><\/b>deschide meniul, \u00eel r\u0103sfoie\u015fte<\/span>): Domnule doamn\u0103, mi-e foame.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F: <\/span><\/b>\u00cenc\u0103 nu ti-ai c\u00e2\u015ftigat privilegiul \u0103sta\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a: <\/span><\/b>A\u015f vrea s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2\u00e2\u00e2\u00e2\u00e2\u00e2nc ceva\u2026 Da<\/span>\u0163i-mi de m\u00e2ncaaaaare…<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F: <\/span><\/b>Bine\u2026 dar \u00ee\u0163i re\u0163in consuma\u0163ia din prima \u00eencasare\u2026 Ce vrei s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nci, pui\u015for?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a <\/span><\/b>(se opre\u015fte din r\u0103sfoit, silabile\u015fte cu dificultate) : <\/span>Piept de pui umplut cu ca\u015fcaval \u015fi \u015func\u0103; pui cu alune, pui Valdostana, pui…<\/span><\/font>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/b><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span>F: <\/span><\/b>(fascinat\u0103): <\/span>Rozeta, adu-i fetei un\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a: <\/span><\/b>(\u00eel\/o \u00eentrerupe, saliv\u00e2nd): <\/span>Piept de pui umplut cu ca\u015fcaval \u015fi \u015func\u0103; pui cu alune, pui Valdostana \u015fi… Uaaau! \u015ei crem\u0103 de ciocolat\u0103 cu migdale \u015fi nuci!!! \u015fi un profiterol!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F: <\/span><\/b>(nu se poate st\u0103p\u00e2ni) : ROZETA, <\/span>adu-mi \u015fi mie c\u00e2te o por\u0163ie, te rog\u2026 Da, din fiecare, ce te holbezi a\u015fa la mine? Bravo, dr\u0103gu\u0163\u0103 mic\u0103. O s\u0103 falimentezi rapid pe oricine. Cum reu\u015fe\u015fti?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a: <\/span><\/b>P\u0103i dac\u0103 mi-e foame, nene\u2026 Tanti!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F: <\/span><\/b>\u015ei altora le e foame!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Fetita: <\/span><\/b>Da, dar mie \u00eemi place s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nc! \u00cemi place s\u0103 bag \u00een gur\u0103, \u00eemi place s\u0103 plimb prin gur\u0103, \u015fi cel mai tare \u00eemi place s\u0103 \u00eenghit!<\/span><\/font>Vreau acum! Vreau s\u0103 simt gustul \u00eentregului meniu \u00een gur\u0103\u2026 gustul c\u0103rnii proasp\u0103t fripte, al ca\u015fcavalului topit care-\u0163i curge pe buze; gustul \u015funcii afumate, aromele legumelor, consisten\u0163a sosurilor\u2026 Dar cel mai tare \u00eemi plac dulciurile!!! Pr\u0103jiturile, bomboanele umplute cu crem\u0103, cu vi\u015fine sau rom, profiterolul, \u00eenghe\u0163ata cu sirop de c\u0103p\u015funi\u2026<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>F <\/span><\/b>\u00eenghite \u00een sec. Apare <\/span>Rozeta <\/span><\/b>cu tava plin\u0103.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Rozeta <\/span><\/b>(bomb\u0103ne) : <\/span>Sigur c\u0103 da. Am ajuns s\u0103 facem cinste la toate nehalitele!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F<\/span><\/b> : Ai zis ceva!?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Rozeta<\/span><\/b> : Ne permitem, \u015fefu’, s\u0103 deschidem cantin\u0103 social\u0103?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F: <\/span><\/b>Aceast\u0103 dulcea\u0163\u0103 de copil\u0103 consum\u0103 \u00een contul primului onorariu! Da’… ia stai… Nu \u00een\u0163eleg o chestie! <\/span>De c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u0163i dau eu \u0163ie socoteal\u0103!?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

Rozeta: <\/span>\u00a0<\/span>De vreo cinci ani \u015fi jum\u0103tate, dac\u0103 num\u0103r eu bine!<\/span><\/font><\/h1>\n

F <\/span><\/b>(se \u00eencrunt\u0103): <\/span>Ar trebui s\u0103-mi mul\u0163ume\u015fti c\u0103-\u0163i dau gratis lucruri pentru care al\u0163ii pl\u0103tesc scump! Vrei s\u0103 te \u00eentorci la \u015fcoala unde profesai \u00eenainte \u015fi la salariul ridicol de acolo? Ghinion… au f\u0103cut-o discotec\u0103.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Rozeta <\/span><\/b>(dulce): <\/span>Am zis eu ceva, \u015fefu’… \u015fefa?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F : <\/span><\/b>Eu, una, nu am auzit nimic. <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>(\u00centre timp, <\/span>Feti\u0163a<\/span><\/b> se \u00eenfrupt\u0103 din crema de ciocolat\u0103, folosind pi\u015fcotul din profiterol pe post de lingur\u0103.)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F: <\/span><\/b>Uite, noii noastre colege \u00eei e foame! E permis a\u015fa ceva?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Rozeta: <\/span><\/b>(o serve\u015fte pe <\/span>Feti\u0163\u0103 <\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span>\u015fi se dep\u0103rteaz\u0103 bomb\u0103nind): <\/span>S\u0103 fi fost tu eleva mea, te-a\u015f fi l\u0103sat corigent\u0103! \u00cen toate cele dou\u0103 trimestre!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a: <\/span><\/b>(\u00eencepe s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nce cu poft\u0103. <\/span>F <\/span><\/b>nu se poate ab\u0163ine, face \u015fi el\/ea acela\u015fi lucru.)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F: <\/span><\/b>Vaaai, o s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eengraaaa\u015f… dar nu m\u0103 pot ab\u0163ine. Ai ceva\u2026 ceva ce st\u00e2rne\u015fte \u00een om pofta de a se bucura de via\u0163\u0103.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a <\/span><\/b>(scap\u0103 pi\u015fcotul sub mas\u0103):<\/span> Vai\u2026 ce-am f\u0103cut\u2026 <\/span>(Se arunc\u0103 dup\u0103 el.)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F: <\/span><\/b>(holbeaz\u0103 ochii, deschide gura, o \u00eenchide la loc, \u00eenchide \u015fi ochii, apoi \u015fopte\u015fte): <\/span>Fl\u0103m\u00e2nd\u0103 mai e\u015fti, surioar\u0103!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a: <\/span><\/b>(se ridic\u0103) : <\/span>Uneori, m\u0103n\u00e2nc desertul \u00eenaintea felului principal. E r\u0103u?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F: <\/span><\/b>Dac\u0103 dai de un zg\u00e2rcit, da. O s\u0103 plece f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 pl\u0103teasc\u0103. Cu tot talentul tau nativ, mai ai de \u00eenv\u0103\u0163at\u2026 Dar te asigur c\u0103 voi face tot posibilul s\u0103 ajungi cur\u00e2nd o profesionist\u0103.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Fetita: <\/span><\/b>Da? Atunci mai vreau \u015fi-o crem\u0103 de zah\u0103r ars!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F: <\/span><\/b>Rozeta!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Rozeta <\/span><\/b>(apare, cu gura plin\u0103, \u00eencerc\u00e2nd s\u0103 \u00eenghit\u0103.)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F: <\/span><\/b>Ce faci, Rozeta!? Niciodat\u0103 nu te-am surprins bulimiz\u00e2ndu-te de una singur\u0103!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Rozeta<\/span><\/b> :\u00a0 <\/span>Ce s\u0103 fac? Are feti\u0163a asta un fel de-a m\u00e2nca\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F: <\/span><\/b>Da? Adu \u015fi-o crem\u0103 de zah\u0103r ars! Dou\u0103! Hai, trei… \u015ei preg\u0103te\u015fte localul pentru disear\u0103! Azi scoatem \u015fi prosp\u0103tura asta nes\u0103tul\u0103 la vedere!<\/span><\/font>\u00a0<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

Tabloul 2<\/font><\/u><\/span><\/h3>\n

\u00a0<\/font><\/span>Ame\u0163it\u0103, sprijinindu-se temeinic de o mas\u0103, doamna beat\u0103 much. Nu se poate \u0163ine dreapt\u0103, dar e superb\u0103, \u00eembr\u0103cat\u0103 \u00eentr-o rochie decoltat\u0103, crea\u0163ie Galliano. Intr\u0103 Erectilul, o vede.<\/font><\/span>\u00a0<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Erectilul: <\/span><\/b>Ce buc\u0103\u0163ic\u0103!! (<\/span>se apropie de ea.) <\/span>Ce faci, frumoaso?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna beat\u0103 much: <\/span><\/b>Asta \u00eencerc \u015fi eu s\u0103-mi dau seama…<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul:<\/span><\/b> Cum te cheam\u0103?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna: <\/span><\/b>Am eu aerul… c\u0103 \u015ftiu cum m\u0103 cheam\u0103?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul: <\/span><\/b>Nu, nici vorb\u0103. Vrei s\u0103 dans\u0103m?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna: <\/span><\/b>Nu, adu-mi, te rog, \u015fampanie. Vreau \u015fampanie!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul: <\/span><\/b>\u015eampanie, sigur… (<\/span>\u00eei face semn <\/span>Rozetei).<\/span><\/b><\/font>\u015eampanie, te rog!<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Rozeta: <\/span><\/b>(o apuc\u0103 de bra\u0163 pe <\/span>Doamna<\/span><\/b>, tr\u0103g\u00e2nd-o \u00eentr-o parte): <\/span>Tu iar te-ai \u00eemb\u0103tat ca scroafa\u00a0?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>\u015ei mori de ciud\u0103, nu\u00a0!? Dac\u0103 ai fi frumoas\u0103 ca mine, ai avea \u015fi tu dreptul la be\u0163ie\u2026 A\u015fa, nu po\u0163i dec\u00e2t s\u0103 cari \u015fampania \u00eencolo \u015fi \u00eencoace, n-ai niciodat\u0103 privilegiul de a-i sim\u0163i gustul.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Rozeta\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Dar am privilegiul de a scuipa \u00een ea de fiecare dat\u0103\u00a0!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Ce conteaz\u0103 un strop de scuipat pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 alte licori pe care le \u00eenghi\u0163im zilnic\u00a0? Adu odat\u0103 \u015fampania aia\u00a0!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Ce servitoare obraznic\u0103 ave\u0163i\u00a0pe-aici !<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Nu e servitoare, e nevasta patronului.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Dar patronul nu e o doamn\u0103\u00a0!\u00a0?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Dac\u0103 interesul o cere, este.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul\u00a0:<\/span><\/b> Nu \u00een\u0163eleg.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Nici eu\u2026 <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul\u00a0 <\/span><\/b>(O ia \u00een bra\u0163e)<\/span> : <\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Ce piele fin\u0103 ai\u2026 <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>\u00cehhh\u2026 <\/span>(vomit\u0103)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul\u00a0<\/span><\/b>(o \u00eempinge la o parte, sc\u00e2rbit)<\/span> : <\/span><\/b>Ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 asta\u00a0? <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>\u00cehhh\u2026 <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Intr\u0103 <\/span>F.<\/span><\/b><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/b><\/font>F\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Ne ierta\u0163i, domnule\u00a0! E un incident teribil de nepl\u0103cut\u00a0! Modesta, tu iar ai dep\u0103\u015fit m\u0103sura\u00a0!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna\u00a0:<\/span><\/b> Po\u0163i tu, Armand, iubitule\u2026 s\u0103-mi ar\u0103\u0163i m\u0103sura!?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Armandina\u00a0! <\/span>(c\u0103tre client) <\/span>A\u015fa e la be\u0163ie, \u00eencurci numele, sexul \u015fi statusul rela\u0163ional\u00a0! <\/span>(c\u0103tre <\/span>Doamn\u0103<\/span><\/b>) <\/span>Du-te, Modesta, spal\u0103-te, bea zeam\u0103 de l\u0103m\u00e2ie, revino-\u0163i\u00a0! Bag\u0103-\u0163i min\u0163ile \u00een cap\u00a0!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>(\u00eel m\u00e2ng\u00e2ie \u00eencet)\u00a0: <\/span>Care min\u0163i, Armand\u00a0?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>(mai \u00eembunat)\u00a0: <\/span>P\u0103i dac\u0103 \u0163i le-ai b\u0103ut, normal c\u0103 n-ai ce s\u0103-\u0163i bagi\u00a0! Hai, du-te si spal\u0103-te\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>M\u0103 alungi\u00a0?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Femeie, e\u015fti toat\u0103 o balt\u0103 de zoaie! Du-te!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/font>Doamna\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/b>se dep\u0103rteaz\u0103 \u00eempleticindu-se.<\/span> <\/span><\/b><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/b>F<\/span><\/b> \u00eencepe s\u0103 \u015ftearg\u0103 pe jos, \u00een jurul <\/span>Erectilului.<\/span><\/b><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/b><\/font>F\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Ne scuza\u0163i. Azi e ziua Modestei, de-asta a b\u0103ut atat\u00a0!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Rozeta\u00a0<\/span><\/b>(vine cu \u015fampanie)\u00a0<\/span>: <\/span><\/b>\u00cen fiecare zi e ziua Modestei!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F\u00a0<\/span><\/b>(t\u0103ios): <\/span>Ce faci, drag\u0103, publicitate negativ\u0103\u00a0!? <\/span>Ie\u015fi\u00a0! <\/span>(<\/span>Erectilului)\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Domnule, permite\u0163i-mi s\u0103 v-o prezint pe noua noastr\u0103 feti\u0163\u0103. E \u00eenc\u0103 virgin\u0103.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>(<\/span><\/b>str\u00e2mb\u0103 din nas)\u00a0<\/span>: Detest virginele. Virginele-s bune pentru bo\u015forogi. Mie \u00eemi plac damele cu experien\u0163\u0103\u2026 A\u015fa ca matale!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F <\/span><\/b>(\u00eencepe s\u0103 r\u00e2d\u0103 gutural): <\/span>B\u0103ie\u0163a\u015f\u2026 aparen\u0163ele pot \u00een\u015fela.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>La ce te referi, c\u0103rnoaso, apetisanto? \u015ei tu e\u015fti virgin\u0103?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Hmmm! Nu neg c\u0103-mi plac prosp\u0103turile de genul t\u0103u, dar\u2026 cred c\u0103 ai venit aici pentru o dam\u0103, nu\u00a0?<\/span><\/font>Erectilul\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>\u015ei tu nu e\u015fti o dam\u0103, dolofano\u00a0?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Ba da\u00a0! Sunt \u015fi eu un fel de\u2026 dam\u0103. Dar una cu bonus\u00a0! <\/span>(\u00cei ia m\u00e2na \u015fi \u015fi-o a\u015feaz\u0103 \u00eentr-un anume loc al rochiei.)<\/span><\/font>Erectilul\u00a0<\/span><\/b>(\u00ee\u015fi smulge m\u00e2na ca ars) : <\/span>Ziceai c\u0103 ai una cu experien\u0163\u0103?<\/span><\/font>(<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

Reintr\u0103 <\/span>Doamna Beat\u0103 Much<\/span><\/b>. Are un pahar de \u015fampanie \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103. Se vede \u00een oglind\u0103.) <\/span><\/font>Doamna: <\/span><\/b>(cu venera\u0163ie) : <\/span>Cine e femeia asta\u2026 at\u00e2t de frumoas\u0103? <\/span>Vreau s-o s\u0103rut \u015fi eu\u2026 <\/span>(se apropie \u00eempleticindu-se de oglind\u0103) <\/span>Iubito, vreau s\u0103 te cunosc\u2026 \u00eentr-un mod c\u00e2t se poate de\u2026 <\/span>(m\u00e2ng\u00e2ie imaginea reflectat\u0103 \u00een oglind\u0103, \u015fopte\u015fte) \u2026 <\/b><\/span>de biblic\u2026 dac\u0103 n-ai nimic \u00eempotriv\u0103\u2026 <\/span>(\u00eencepe s\u0103 se s\u0103rute \u00een oglind\u0103)\u00a0: <\/span>Ai s\u0103rut\u0103rile at\u00e2t de reci, iubirea mea\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Intr\u0103 <\/span>Lovelistul <\/span><\/b>(, cu fular alb la g\u00e2t, fum\u00e2nd trabuc.) Urm\u0103re\u015fte momentul cu interes cresc\u00e2nd, fumeaz\u0103 din ce \u00een ce mai precipitat.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul: <\/span><\/b>Te pot ajuta cu ceva, frumoas\u0103 doamn\u0103?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna: <\/span><\/b>Da\u2026 De fapt, da. Vreau \u015fampanie.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul: <\/span><\/b>At\u00e2t? Pot s\u0103-\u0163i ofer o locuin\u0163\u0103 \u00een centru\u2026 plin\u0103 de oglinzi.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna: <\/span><\/b>Ce s\u0103 fac eu cu o locuin\u0163\u0103 \u00een centru\u00a0? <\/span>Vreau \u015fampanie\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Sau o ma\u015fin\u0103 luxoas\u0103.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna: <\/span><\/b>Nu \u015ftiu s\u0103 conduc. Vreau \u015fampanie\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Sau bijuterii\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna: <\/span><\/b>Nu \u00eemi sunt eu mie cea mai frumoas\u0103 bijuterie\u00a0? Vreau \u015fampanie, te rog\u00a0! \u015fi o vreau acum!<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Ce-ar fi s\u0103 bem suc de portocale\u00a0?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna\u00a0<\/span><\/b>\u00eel prive\u015fte cu dispre\u0163. Se \u00eentoarce, cl\u0103tin\u00e2ndu-se, la masa <\/span>Erectilului.<\/span><\/b><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/b><\/font>Doamna\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Ce faci, iubitule\u00a0? A venit \u015fampania\u00a0? <\/span>(descoper\u0103 sticla, \u00ee\u015fi toarn\u0103.) <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul\u00a0<\/span><\/b>(<\/span>rece<\/span>) Pardon, doamna patroan\u0103 \u00eemi va aduce \u00een cur\u00e2nd o \u00eenso\u0163itoare care s\u0103 \u015ftie s\u0103 se poarte. Ne pute\u0163i l\u0103sa singuri\u00a0?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna <\/span><\/b>(<\/span><\/b>\u00eel prive\u015fte <\/b>uimit\u0103, r\u0103nit\u0103, apoi z\u00e2mbe\u015fte)<\/span> : <\/span><\/b>Dac\u0103 pot s\u0103 iau sticla\u2026<\/span><\/font>Erectilul\u00a0<\/span><\/b>(vrea s\u0103 protesteze, dar nu are c\u00e2nd. <\/span>Doamna <\/span><\/b>apuc\u0103 sticla de g\u00e2t \u015fi iese.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Intr\u0103 <\/span>Curva de 2 lei. Erectilul <\/span><\/b>sare \u00een sus excitat, <\/span>Lovelistul <\/span><\/b>o m\u0103soar\u0103 cu dezgust afectat.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul : <\/span><\/b>Asta-i femeia pe care mi-am dorit-o toat\u0103 via\u0163a!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : <\/span><\/b>Ce distrus\u0103!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/font>Curva\u00a0<\/span><\/b>(se apropie de <\/span>Lovelist)\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Ziceai ceva de o locuin\u0163\u0103 \u00een centru, micule\u00a0?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Ai auzit gre\u015fit.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>P\u0103cat\u00a0! A\u015f fi fost femeia ideal\u0103\u2026 Pentru o locuin\u0163\u0103 \u00een centru, o ma\u015fin\u0103 \u015fi bijuterii, a\u015f oferi chiar \u015fi imposibilul\u2026 adic\u0103 deplina fidelitate.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Nu m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103. Vreau tinere\u0163e, nebunie, carne fraged\u0103 si tare\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva\u00a0<\/span><\/b>(ofensat\u0103) <\/span>Habar n-ai de \u015fcoala vie\u0163ii, coco\u015fel\u00a0! Doar fumuri \u015fi aere\u00a0!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

Lovelistul\u00a0: <\/span>Unde o fi be\u0163iva dinainte\u00a0? (iese dup\u0103 ea, c\u0103tre baie).<\/span><\/font><\/font><\/h4>\n
Curva : <\/span>(c\u0103tre <\/span>Erectil): <\/span>La pariu c\u0103 tu nu ai locuin\u0163\u0103 \u00een centru.<\/span><\/font><\/h5>\n
Erectilul <\/span>: Nu, dar am un instrument falnic \u015fi greu\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/h5>\n

Curva <\/span><\/b>(d\u0103 dispre\u0163uitoare din umeri) : <\/b><\/span>Mare scofal\u0103!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul : <\/span><\/b>S\u0103 \u015ftii c\u0103 e mare! \u015ei rezist p\u00e2n\u0103 diminea\u0163\u0103!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva <\/span><\/b>(resemnat\u0103) <\/span>: Ce vr\u0103jeal\u0103 ieftin\u0103\u2026 Ce m\u00e2nc\u0103m?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul <\/span><\/b>(speriat) <\/span>: \u00cemi pare r\u0103u, dar \u015fampania sugativei \u0103leia m-a cam falit! Pot s\u0103-\u0163i ofer\u2026 <\/span>(r\u0103sfoie\u015fte din ce \u00een ce mai \u00eengrozit meniul) \u2026<\/span>o omlet\u0103 cu salam \u015fi-o bere. <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva <\/span><\/b>(ofteaz\u0103, posomor\u00e2t\u0103)<\/span>: Asta-i via\u0163a! Dup\u0103 patruzeci de ani \u00een c\u00e2mpul muncii\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>(Intr\u0103 <\/span>Feti\u0163a ve\u015fnic fl\u0103m\u00e2nd\u0103.)<\/span><\/b><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/b><\/font>Feti\u0163a: <\/span><\/b>Am auzit ceva de omlet\u0103 cu salam?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul <\/span><\/b>(<\/span>se ridic\u0103 imediat \u00een picioare<\/span>) : Da\u2026 ai auzit bine!<\/span><\/font>(<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span>Curva <\/span><\/b>se ridic\u0103 resemnat\u0103 \u015fi pleac\u0103.)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul : <\/span><\/b>(<\/span><\/b>energic) <\/span>\u015ei-acum\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Fetita : <\/span><\/b>\u015ei-acum, s\u0103 comand\u0103m!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul <\/span><\/b>(plo\u015ftit): <\/span>S\u0103 comand\u0103m\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Fetita: <\/span><\/b>S\u0103 \u015ftii c\u0103 pe mine nu m\u0103 satisface o omlet\u0103 cu salam! Vreau piept de pui umplut cu ca\u015fcaval \u015fi \u015func\u0103; pui cu alune, pui Valdostana \u015fi… un profiterol!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul: <\/span><\/b>(<\/span><\/b>\u015fi mai pleo\u015ftit) <\/span>Tot ce vrei tu, bombonico!!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Fetita: <\/span><\/b>\u015ei-atunci, de ce ai refuzat-o pe doamna?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul: <\/span><\/b>La at\u00e2t am evaluat-o\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a <\/span><\/b>(z\u00e2mbe\u015fte, deschide meniul) : <\/span>O s\u0103 am eu grij\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 evaluezi la justa mea valoare!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul <\/span><\/b>(<\/span>\u00eeng\u00e2ndurat<\/span>): De ce oi fi gonit-o pe aia dinainte?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a : <\/span><\/b>Nu m\u0103n\u00e2nci \u015fi tu, iepura\u015f? O s\u0103 ai nevoie de puteri\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul: <\/span><\/b>Ba da, iubito!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>(Vine <\/span>Rozeta<\/span><\/b>).<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a : <\/span><\/b>Vreau piept de pui umplut cu ca\u015fcaval \u015fi sunc\u0103; pui cu alune, pui Valdostana \u015fi… un profiterol! Acelasi lucru si pentru domnul!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>(<\/span><\/b>Erectilul <\/span><\/b>aprob\u0103, \u00eeng\u00e2ndurat.)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a : <\/span><\/b>Ce ziceai, iepura\u015f, de instrumentul t\u0103u lung \u015fi greu?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul <\/span><\/b>(se \u00eensenineaz\u0103) <\/span>:<\/span><\/b> Ai auzit-o \u015fi pe asta?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a<\/span><\/b> : Eu aud totul. Dar \u0163in minte numai ce m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul <\/span><\/b>(r\u00e2de \u00eenfumurat) <\/span>: Multe r\u0103zboaie am purtat eu cu palo\u015ful \u0103sta! Le-am c\u00e2\u015ftigat pe toate\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Fetita : <\/span><\/b>M\u0103 \u00eennebune\u015fti\u2026<\/span><\/font>(Vine <\/span>Rozeta<\/span><\/b>, cu comanda. <\/span>\u00cei face cu ochiul <\/span>Feti\u0163ei<\/span><\/b>. <\/span>Aceasta r\u00e2de<\/span>.)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul <\/span><\/b>(suspicios) :<\/span> Ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103!?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Fetita: <\/span><\/b>Mai glumim \u015fi noi. Poft\u0103 bun\u0103, iubitule!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>(\u00cen timpul festinului, apare <\/span>Lovelistul <\/span><\/b>derutat. O vede pe <\/span>Feti\u0163\u0103.<\/span><\/b> )<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul <\/span><\/b>(c\u0103tre <\/span>Rozeta<\/span><\/b>, care trece) : <\/b><\/span>Ce \u00eei place prosp\u0103turii s\u0103 bea?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Rozeta : <\/span><\/b>\u0102steia \u00eei place s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nce.\u00a0 <\/span>Preferabil dulciuri\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : <\/span><\/b>Aha! Dublu profiterol face\u0163i?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Rozeta <\/span><\/b>(d\u0103 din umeri) <\/span>: <\/span><\/b>Ce nu facem noi, pentru pl\u0103cerea domnilor?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul <\/span><\/b>(\u00eei \u00eentinde o bancnot\u0103) <\/span>: <\/span><\/b>\u0162ine, e\u015fti o fat\u0103 de\u015fteapt\u0103. F\u0103 rapid un dublu profiterol! Serve\u015fte-l domni\u015foarei, \u015fi men\u0163ioneaz\u0103: Din partea domnului \u00een alb.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>(Se a\u015feaz\u0103 la o mas\u0103. \u00centre timp, apare <\/span>Curva de 2 lei, <\/span><\/b>\u00ee\u015fi bag\u0103 m\u00e2na \u00een decolteu, scoate dintr-o cup\u0103 a sutienului o bucat\u0103 de burete murdar, o miroase, str\u00e2mb\u0103 din nas, \u015fi-o pune iar, apoi se \u00eendreapt\u0103, \u00eemping\u00e2nd decolteul \u00eenainte. Se a\u015feaz\u0103 la bar, \u00ee\u015fi aprinde o \u0163igar\u0103.<\/span><\/font>Intr\u0103 <\/span>Formalistul. <\/span><\/b>Ea \u00eel urm\u0103re\u015fte cu privirea p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd acesta ia loc, apoi se apropie \u00eencet \u015fi provocator.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva: <\/span><\/b>Ce faci, p\u0103pu\u015fel?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Formalistul: <\/span><\/b>V\u0103 rog frumos s\u0103 nu \u00eemi vorbi\u0163i cu \u201ctu\u201d.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva <\/span><\/b>(r\u00e2de)<\/span> : Ne formaliz\u0103m?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Formalistul <\/span><\/b>(ofuscat) <\/span>: Mi se pare revolt\u0103tor felul \u00een care unii \u015fi altii se trag de \u015fireturi\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva: <\/span><\/b>Serios? \u015ei-atunci, cum de ai nimerit tocmai aici?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Formalistul : <\/span><\/b>Vreau s\u0103-mi pierd virginitatea.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva : <\/span><\/b>P\u0103i vezi? Primul pas spre pierderea virginit\u0103\u0163ii e tutuiala.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Formalistul : <\/span><\/b>Refuz categoric!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva <\/span><\/b>(ofteaz\u0103 obosit\u0103) <\/span>: A\u015f putea s\u0103-\u0163i fiu mam\u0103, b\u0103i, fi\u0163osule\u2026<\/span><\/font>(Se dep\u0103rteaz\u0103. Dup\u0103 o scurt\u0103 ezitare, <\/span>Formalistul <\/span><\/b>porne\u015fte glon\u0163 dup\u0103 ea.)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Formalistul : <\/span><\/b>Domni\u015foar\u0103\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva : <\/span><\/b>Eu, domni\u015foar\u0103? Ha-ha-ha!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Formalistul : <\/span><\/b>Dar cum s\u0103 v\u0103 zic?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva : <\/span><\/b>Cum s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i zic! P\u0103i iubito, p\u0103pu\u015fico, frumu\u015fico\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Formalistul : <\/span><\/b>Mi-e cam greu s\u0103 m\u0103 adresez astfel unei … doamne\u2026 respectabile. \u00cemi permite\u0163i s\u0103 v\u0103 ofer bra\u0163ul meu \u00eentr-un mod c\u00e2t se poate de curtenitor \u015fi cu accente de cavalerism incon\u015ftient dozat de c\u0103tre instinctele noastre atavice \u015fi adeseori imposibil de controlat, dar care, nu-i a\u015fa, sunt perfect justificate \u00een omagiul uneori ireveren\u0163ios reprezentat de ofrandele noastre \u00een fa\u0163a altarului feminit\u0103\u0163ii?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva: <\/span><\/b>Dac\u0103 zici tu…<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/font>(Ies am\u00e2ndoi. Sose\u015fte <\/span>Rozeta <\/span><\/b>cu dublul profiterol. \u00cel pune \u00een fa\u0163a <\/span>Feti\u0163ei<\/span><\/b>).<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Rozeta: <\/span><\/b>De la domnul \u00een alb.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul <\/span><\/b>(sare \u00een sus): <\/span>\u0102sta \u00eemi sufl\u0103 toate bun\u0103ciunile! Ce naiba! Ia zi, domnule\u2026 <\/span>(\u00cel apuc\u0103 pe <\/span>Lovelist<\/span><\/b>, \u00eel t\u00eer\u0103\u015fte afar\u0103.)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Rozeta <\/span><\/b>(se apropie \u00eengrijorat\u0103 de <\/span>Feti\u0163\u0103) : <\/span><\/b>Asta n-o s\u0103 pl\u0103teasc\u0103!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a : <\/span><\/b>Ei, nu!? Ia \u0163ine. <\/span>(\u00cei \u00eentinde un portofel de piele maro.) <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Rozeta : <\/span><\/b>Ce-i \u0103sta?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a : <\/span><\/b>Portofelul lui. S\u0103 zicem c\u0103 l-a pierdut la cotitur\u0103.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Rozeta <\/span><\/b>(o prive\u015fte admirativ) <\/span>: Esti genial\u0103!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a <\/span><\/b>(cu simplitate) <\/span>: Nu. Mi-e pur \u015fi simplu foame\u2026<\/span><\/font>(U\u015fa se deschide, intr\u0103 <\/span>Lovelistul <\/span><\/b>victorios)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : <\/span><\/b>Vezi ce eforturi fac eu pentru tine?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

Fetita : <\/span><\/b>Mai f\u0103 unul. Dac\u0103 tot l-ai alungat, pl\u0103te\u015fte-i consumatia; c\u0103 i-o scade din salariu doamnei Rozeta!<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : <\/span><\/b>Nici o problem\u0103! <\/span>(\u00cei \u00eentinde mai multe bancnote <\/span>Rozetei.<\/span><\/b>)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Rozeta <\/span><\/b>(\u00eei z\u00e2mbe\u015fte topit\u0103 <\/span>Feti\u0163ei.<\/span><\/b>)<\/span><\/font>Fetita <\/span><\/b>\u00eencepe s\u0103 devoreze profiterolul.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul <\/span><\/b>: O s\u0103 te \u00eengra\u015fi.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a <\/span><\/b>(\u00eel prive\u015fte r\u0103nit\u0103)<\/span>: Credeam <\/span><\/font>c\u0103-\u0163i plac fetele apetisante\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : <\/span><\/b>Da, dar nu-mi plac tancurile!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a : <\/span><\/b>Mi-e foame\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : <\/span><\/b>\u00ce\u0163i cump\u0103r salat\u0103 de crudit\u0103\u0163i cu l\u0103m\u00e2ie.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a <\/span><\/b>(se uit\u0103 la el cu ur\u0103) <\/span>: Mi-e foame\u2026<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : <\/span><\/b>Ai m\u00e2ncat sub ochii mei c\u00e2t \u015fase!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

Feti\u0163a<\/span>: Dragule, vrei s\u0103 fim ferici\u0163i, sau nu vrei\u00a0?<\/span><\/font><\/font><\/h4>\n

Lovelistul : <\/span>Fericirea nu depinde de m\u00e2ncare.<\/span><\/font><\/font><\/h4>\n

Feti\u0163a : <\/span><\/b>M\u0103 plictise\u015fti\u2026 Trebuia s\u0103-l fi l\u0103sat pe cel dinainte \u00een pace. \u0102la \u00eemi d\u0103dea tot ce voiam.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : <\/span><\/b>\u015ei nu \u0163i-a ajuns! Ai vrut dublul profiterol! <\/span>(\u00eei smulge cupa din fa\u0163\u0103.)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a <\/span><\/b>(sare \u00een sus, enervat\u0103 la culme) <\/span>: <\/span><\/b>E\u015fti un m\u0103gar cretin, t\u00e2mpit \u015fi idiot! <\/span>(Iese).<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : <\/span><\/b>Cine dracu\u2019 le \u00een\u0163elege pe femeile astea? E\u015fti un tip bine, atr\u0103g\u0103tor \u015fi elegant, ai bani cu nemiluita, \u015fi degeaba!!! Vor mereu mai mult \u015fi mai mult\u2026<\/span><\/font>(Apare <\/span>F <\/span><\/b>, \u00eel vede singur; dup\u0103 un moment de stupefac\u0163ie, ia o \u0163inut\u0103 provocatoare \u015fi se apropie de el.)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F : <\/span><\/b>Singurel, iubitule?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : <\/span><\/b>Fetele tale nu m\u0103 iubesc.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F <\/span><\/b>(cu un<\/span> <\/span><\/b>gest necontrolat de iritare)<\/span> : <\/span><\/b>Proastele! <\/span>Te iubesc eu, dragule.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : <\/span><\/b>M\u0103 iube\u015fti\u00a0?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>\u015ei \u00eenc\u0103 cum…<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : <\/span><\/b>Dar nu \u0163i-am oferit \u00eenc\u0103 nimic…<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F <\/span><\/b>(\u00eel prive\u015fte lung \u00een ochi)<\/span> : Nu e t\u00e2rziu, nu?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : <\/span><\/b>Vreau iubire dezinteresat\u0103…<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F : <\/span><\/b>Asta era!!! Atunci, stimate domnule, du-te la biseric\u0103, nu veni aici!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>(Pleac\u0103. <\/span>Lovelistul <\/span><\/b>prive\u015fte n\u0103ucit \u00een urma lui, apoi ofteaz\u0103 \u00eendelung, \u015fi \u00eencepe s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nce din profiterol.<\/span><\/font>Reapare <\/span>Curva <\/span><\/b>, furioas\u0103 foc. Fumeaz\u0103 iritat\u0103.)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : <\/span><\/b>Ce-i cu tine, femeie?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva : <\/span><\/b>Zg\u00e2rcitul dracului! Nu avea la el dec\u00e2t jumate din bani! Partea care tre\u2019 s\u0103 i-o dau patronului. A zis c\u0103 pentru restu\u2019, s\u0103-i zic mersi c\u0103 nu-mi cere el bani!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul <\/span><\/b>: Adic\u0103, ai fost violat\u0103\u00a0!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva : <\/span><\/b>Chiar a\u015fa!! <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul: <\/span><\/b>\u015ei de ce n-ai refuzat, c\u00e2nd ai v\u0103zut c\u0103 n-are bani?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva : <\/span><\/b>N-am mai avut nici un client de trei s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni \u015fi patru zile! Ce dumnezeu, sunt \u015fi eu femeie, c\u00e2t s\u0103 stau a\u015fa, nevizitat\u0103!?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : <\/span><\/b>Auzi… N-ai vrea o munc\u0103 respectabil\u0103?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva <\/span><\/b>(suspicioas\u0103): <\/span>Ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 asta!?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : \u00ce\u0163<\/span><\/b>i dau bani c\u00e2\u0163i vrei tu…<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva <\/span><\/b>(\u015fi mai intrigat\u0103) : <\/span>\u015ei ce am de f\u0103cut!? N-am \u00eencredere \u00een promisiunile cu bani mul\u0163i!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : <\/span><\/b>O treab\u0103 simpl\u0103! S\u0103 nu m\u0103 contrazici niciodat\u0103, s\u0103 fii mereu de acord cu mine, s\u0103 m\u0103 admiri zi \u015fi noapte, \u015fi s\u0103 nu ai preten\u0163ii. Vei avea, lunar, cecul \u00een alb, s\u0103 treci tu suma pe care o vrei.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva : <\/span><\/b>\u015ei-o locuin\u0163\u0103 \u00een centru?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul <\/span><\/b>(vrea s\u0103 protesteze, ea d\u0103 s\u0103-i taie cuvintele; cedeaz\u0103) <\/span>: <\/span><\/b>Da.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva : <\/span><\/b>\u015ei ma\u015fin\u0103!? \u015etiu s\u0103 \u015fi conduc.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : <\/span><\/b>Da.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva : <\/span><\/b>\u015ei bijuterii?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul <\/span><\/b>(mic \u015fi umil) <\/span>: <\/span><\/b>Da.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Curva : <\/span><\/b>\u00ce\u0163i acord perioad\u0103 de prob\u0103 dou\u0103 luni! Dac\u0103 v\u0103d c\u0103 treaba merge, accept! Dar la prima abatere, \u00eel vezi tu pe domnu\u2019 dracu\u2019!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Lovelistul : <\/span><\/b>Da, iubita mea!<\/span><\/font>(Ies din local, ea, trufa\u015f\u0103 ca o prin\u0163es\u0103, el, \u00een urma ei, ca un servitor.<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Din baie, apare <\/span>Feti\u0163a<\/span><\/b>, c\u0103r\u00e2nd-o pe <\/span>Doamna beat\u0103 much.<\/span><\/b><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/b><\/font>Feti\u0163a : <\/span><\/b>Unde te duc?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna : <\/span><\/b>Nu \u015ftiu… nu \u00eemi pas\u0103… nu m\u0103 \u00eentreba banalit\u0103\u0163i…<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a : <\/span><\/b>E p\u0103cat de tine. E\u015fti at\u00e2t de frumoas\u0103!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna : <\/span><\/b>Da? Atunci… cump\u0103r\u0103-mi \u015fampanie.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a : <\/span><\/b>\u015etii ceva? \u00een ziua \u00een care \u00eemi cumperi profiterol, \u00ee\u0163i cump\u0103r \u015fi eu \u015fampanie. Unde ne ducem?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>(<\/span>Intr\u0103 <\/span>F, <\/span><\/b>\u00eembr\u0103cat \u00een b\u0103rbat.)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F : <\/span><\/b>Bravo, dr\u0103gu\u0163o, \u0163i-ai f\u0103cut bine treaba pe ziua de azi! Ai f\u0103cut consuma\u0163ie ca pentru zece. Plus portofelul fraierului.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a : <\/span><\/b>Care-i problema, al Lovelistului are vreun defect? <\/span>(Scoate un portofel burdu\u015fit. <\/span>F <\/span><\/b>vrea s\u0103-l ia, dar Feti\u0163a <\/b><\/span>\u00eel bag\u0103 \u00eenapoi \u00een buzunar<\/span>.<\/span><\/b>) <\/span>\u015epaga ne r\u0103m\u00e2ne nou\u0103, nu?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F <\/span><\/b>(r\u00e2de, apoi se \u00eentoarce spre <\/span>Doamna<\/span><\/b>, care dormiteaz\u0103 pe um\u0103rul <\/span>Feti\u0163ei.<\/span><\/b> ) <\/span>: Modesta, am ceva s\u0103-\u0163i spun!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna : <\/span><\/b>Ce vrei, Armand!? M\u0103 doare capul…<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F : <\/span><\/b>E\u015fti concediat\u0103.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna : <\/span><\/b>A\u015fa… Pur \u015fi simplu?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F : <\/span><\/b>Cum auzi.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna : <\/span><\/b>Armand, ce ingrat e\u015fti! \u015ei eu am fost ca ea… \u0163i-am adus zilnic milioane, milioane… Am f\u0103cut s\u0103 curg\u0103 r\u00e2uri de \u015fampanie.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>FBB : <\/span><\/b>Nu mai e\u015fti rentabil\u0103, Modesta. <\/span>De c\u00e2nd te-ai apucat de b\u0103ut, nu mai aduci nici un profit. <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna <\/span><\/b>(r\u00e2de) <\/span>: Vezi, mititico, cum g\u00e2nde\u015fte nemernicul \u0103sta? Te-am v\u0103zut cum m\u0103n\u00e2nci… \u00een c\u00e2\u0163iva ani vei fi tripl\u0103. \u015ei c\u00e2nd nu vei mai fi rentabil\u0103, te va azv\u00e2rli cum m\u0103 azv\u00e2rle pe mine acum…<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a : <\/span><\/b>Ce oribil!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Doamna : <\/span><\/b>\u0102sta e Armand! Profitorul…<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Feti\u0163a : <\/span><\/b>Vrei s\u0103 plec\u0103m \u00eempreun\u0103? Ne privatiz\u0103m, ne facem propria afacere, \u015fi ne vom aduce profit nou\u0103 \u00een\u015fine!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/b><\/span><\/font>Doamna : <\/span><\/b>Acum m\u0103car \u015ftii unde s\u0103 m\u0103 duci!<\/span><\/font>(<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span>Feti\u0163a <\/span><\/b>d\u0103 din umeri, apoi se \u00eendreapt\u0103 am\u00e2ndou\u0103 spre ie\u015fire.)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/b><\/font>F : <\/span><\/b>Fetelor! Iubitelor! Stati pu\u0163in, unde v\u0103 gr\u0103bi\u0163i a\u015fa!?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>(<\/span>Ele ies, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-l fi auzit. Apare din u\u015f\u0103 <\/span>Rozeta<\/span><\/b>, am\u0103r\u00e2t\u0103.)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Rozeta : <\/span><\/b>Ce facem acum? Am r\u0103mas f\u0103r\u0103 fete! <\/span>Idiotule!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F : <\/span><\/b>Voiam doar s\u0103 scap de Modesta!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Rozeta\u00a0: <\/span><\/b>Ce fraier e\u015fti\u00a0! Modesta ne aducea venituri considerabile\u00a0! Numai s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na asta i-au cump\u0103rat b\u0103ie\u0163ii dou\u0103zeci \u015fi dou\u0103 de sticle de \u015fampanie, nemaipun\u00e2nd la socoteal\u0103 c\u00e2t a b\u0103ut ea din banii ei! <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

F : <\/span><\/b>Ia mai taci din gur\u0103! <\/span>De c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u0163i dau eu \u0163ie socoteal\u0103!?<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

Rozeta <\/span><\/b>(plictisit\u0103)\u00a0<\/span>: De cinci ani \u015fi jum\u0103tate. \u015ei iat\u0103 unde am ajuns!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

F : <\/span><\/b>Minunat, atunci p\u0103r\u0103se\u015fte-m\u0103 \u015fi tu!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

Rozeta <\/span><\/b>(jignit\u0103) <\/span>: Dobitoc de cea mai joas\u0103 spe\u0163\u0103! Dac\u0103 era s\u0103 te p\u0103r\u0103sesc, te p\u0103r\u0103seam de o mie de ori p\u00e2n\u0103 acum, imbecilule! \u015ei ai fi meritat-o cu v\u00e2rf \u015fi \u00eendesat!<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>F: <\/span><\/b>(reflecteaz\u0103 \u00eendelung) <\/span>: \u015etii c\u0103 ai dreptate? <\/span>\u015ei eu m-a\u015f fi p\u0103r\u0103sit pe mine de o mie de ori! <\/span>Tu de ce n-ai f\u0103cut-o\u00a0!?<\/span><\/font>Pauz\u0103 lung\u0103.<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Rozeta : <\/span><\/b>Hai s\u0103 \u00eenchidem pentru seara asta, \u015fi-\u0163i spun.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>(<\/span>Cei doi \u00eentorc spre public pancarta <\/span>\u201c\u00ceNCHIS\u201d <\/span>\u015fi pleac\u0103. Bufnituri. Intr\u0103 <\/span>Erectilul <\/span><\/b>b\u0103tut m\u0103r.)<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font>Erectilul : <\/span><\/b>Doamnelor, domni\u015foarelor, m-am \u00eentors!!! <\/span>Sunt excitat ca un taur comunal! <\/span>(descoper\u0103 pancarta.) <\/span>Ce-i asta\u00a0? S-a \u00eenchis \u00ab\u00a0Cafe Libido\u00a0?\u00a0\u00bb \u015ei eu ce fac!? \u015ei b\u0103tut, \u015fi ne… Lua-v-ar dracu\u2019 s\u0103 v\u0103 ia pe to\u0163i, fi-v-ar cenzura a naibii! <\/span>(Am\u0103r\u00e2t) <\/span>C\u0103 nu mai poate omul s\u0103 aib\u0103 o clip\u0103 de pl\u0103cere, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 se g\u0103seasc\u0103 un idiot, s\u0103-l deranjeze! <\/span>(iese.)<\/span><\/font>\u00a0<\/font><\/span>\u00a0<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Sf\u00e2r\u015fit<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Caf\u00e9 Libido\u00a0 De Lorena Lupu\u00a0 Dramatis Personae:\u00a0(\u00een ordinea intrarii \u00een\u2026\u00a0)\u00a0 Femeia B\u0103rbat Bine: – b\u0103rbat solid, autoritar, travestit, machiat \u00een exces Feti\u0163a ve\u015fnic Fl\u0103m\u00e2nd\u0103...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-104","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=104"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=104"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=104"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=104"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}