{"id":10445,"date":"2016-03-07T08:51:32","date_gmt":"2016-03-07T08:51:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=10445"},"modified":"2016-03-07T09:36:48","modified_gmt":"2016-03-07T09:36:48","slug":"sunt-un-baiat-bun-de-ce-nu-ma-plac-nicicum-femeile","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/sunt-un-baiat-bun-de-ce-nu-ma-plac-nicicum-femeile\/","title":{"rendered":"Sunt un b\u0103iat bun. De ce nu m\u0103 plac nicicum femeile?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mul\u0163i oameni, c\u00e2nd vorbesc despre ei \u00een\u015fi\u015fi, se descriu drept b\u0103rba\u0163i buni. \u015ei dac\u0103 se analizeaz\u0103, v\u0103d c\u0103 nu dau \u00een cap pe strad\u0103, c\u0103 nu vor r\u0103ul nim\u0103nui, c\u0103 vor pace mondial\u0103, deci sunt buni.<\/p>\n

\u015ei totu\u015fi, fetele \u00eei ignor\u0103, \u00eei displac, \u00eei expediaz\u0103.<\/p>\n

S\u0103 identific\u0103m \u00eempreun\u0103 c\u00e2teva modele de comportament care par foarte dezagreabile, \u00een ochii sexului opus.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Familiaritatea nesolicitat\u0103.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Posibil pentru c\u0103 ai fost educat gre\u015fit: “M\u0103mic\u0103, dac\u0103 \u0163i se pune \u0163ie pata pe X, trebuie doar s\u0103 te por\u0163i ca \u015fi cum X ar fi p\u0103scut vaca cu tine pe t\u0103p\u015fan \u015fi ea o s\u0103 cad\u0103 lat\u0103, pentru c\u0103 nu-i a\u015fa, b\u0103rbatul e cununa crea\u0163iei”.<\/p>\n

    Cele mai multe femei UR\u0102SC CU SPUME c\u00e2nd un necunoscut se trage de \u015fireturi cu ele. Se simt desconsiderate. Hai s\u0103 facem o analogie.<\/p>\n

    C\u00e2nd vrei s\u0103 te angajezi undeva, cum procedezi? Invadezi biroul \u015fi, f\u0103r\u0103 nici un preambul, te oplo\u015fe\u015fti pe scaunul managerului? Te d\u0103 paza afar\u0103 cu \u015futuri.<\/p>\n

    \u00cent\u00e2i depui un CV, o scrisoare de inten\u0163ie, discu\u0163i cu HR \u015fi a\u015fa mai departe.<\/p>\n

    OK, oamenii nu-s institu\u0163ii. Dar mai bine \u00eei vorbe\u015fti cu dvs. \u015fi o la\u015fi pe ea s\u0103 zic\u0103: hai s\u0103 ne tutuim, dec\u00e2t s\u0103 o iei cu “b\u0103i, feti\u0163o” \u015fi s\u0103-\u0163i r\u0103spund\u0103 glacial: “m\u0103 uit \u00een jur \u015fi nu m\u0103 prind cui v\u0103 adresa\u0163i”.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    2. Glumele \u00eengrozitooor de proaste\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Exist\u0103 o form\u0103 deosebit de retardat\u0103 de umor masculin care se manifest\u0103 numai \u00een prezen\u0163a unui exemplar feminin.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    \"bzz\"<\/p>\n

    Sunt absolut sigur\u0103 c\u0103 domnul care interac\u0163iona aici cu mine e un om bun, care n-a f\u0103cut nim\u0103nui nici un r\u0103u \u00een via\u0163a lui. \u015ei totu\u015fi, f\u0103r\u0103 a inten\u0163iona s\u0103-l pun la zid, cred c\u0103 suntem cu to\u0163ii de acord c\u0103 abordarea lui ucide hazul pe toat\u0103 raza localit\u0103\u0163ii Bucure\u015fti.<\/p>\n

    \u015ei fac pariu c\u0103, dac\u0103 eram autorul Lauren\u0163iu Lupu, ar fi atentat la un umor de ceva mai bun\u0103 calitate, pentru c\u0103 nu-i a\u015fa, \u00een fa\u0163a unui b\u0103rbat nu te faci de c\u0103cat \u015fi nu-i a\u015fa, b\u0103rba\u0163ii sunt fiin\u0163e de\u015ftepte care se uit\u0103 cu sil\u0103 la tine dac\u0103 te manife\u015fti a\u015fa.<\/p>\n

    Crede\u0163i-m\u0103 c\u00e2nd v\u0103 spun c\u0103 nici femeile nu-s at\u00e2t de retardate pe c\u00e2t insista\u0163i voi s\u0103 le crede\u0163i \u015fi la genul \u0103sta de sub-umor, fac febr\u0103 muscular\u0103 la ochi de la eye rolls.<\/p>\n

    \u015ei po\u0163i tu s\u0103 fii cel mai bun om din univers, o manifestare de genul \u0103sta e the ultimate pussy block.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    2Bis. Provocarea\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

    “Ia s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u0163 tehnic\u0103 de maestru al ag\u0103\u0163\u0103rii \u015fi s\u0103-i dau replici foarte, foarte enervante, c\u0103 asta sigur o excit\u0103 de nu poate.”<\/p>\n

    N\u0163. A\u015fa-numita “provocare” te face doar s\u0103 pari un cretin care se d\u0103 interesant. \u00cenc\u0103 nu am \u00eent\u00e2lnit femeia care s\u0103-mi povesteasc\u0103 extatic: “B\u0103i, \u015fi-mi tot d\u0103dea replici minimalizante, prin care sugera repetat c\u0103 m\u0103 crede proast\u0103 \u015fi curv\u0103. M-am excitat at\u00e2t de tare \u00eenc\u00e2t am f\u0103cut potop \u00een cafenea. Au trebuit s\u0103 schimbe prizele, din motiv de scurt-circuit.”<\/p>\n

    Dimpotriv\u0103: “Fat\u0103, s\u0103-l fut \u00een gur\u0103 de animal. N-are \u00een el dec\u00e2t b\u0103\u015fc\u0103lie ieftin\u0103. M-a enervat peste m\u0103sur\u0103. Nici m\u0103car n-am a\u015fteptat berea aia. Mi-am amintit c\u0103 bunic\u0103-mea e pe moarte. S\u0103raca, \u00eenvie \u015fi moare mai des dec\u00e2t electoratul lui Dragnea.”<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    3. Insisten\u0163a\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Ora 12.33 “S\u0103 \u015ftii c\u0103 e\u015fti foarte frumoas\u0103”.<\/p>\n

    OK, mul\u0163umesc.<\/p>\n

    Ora 12.34 “Doar at\u00e2t?”<\/p>\n

    OK, mul\u0163umesc mult.<\/p>\n

    Ora 12.35 “S\u0103 \u015ftii c\u0103 Vodafone nu taxeaz\u0103 pe num\u0103r de cuvinte.”<\/p>\n

    OK, mul\u0163umirile mele profunde, cutremur\u0103toare \u015fi ramificate se revars\u0103 din str\u0103fundul h\u0103ului sumbru unde odinioar\u0103 pulsa inima-mi suav\u0103, \u00eenainte s-o fac\u0103 franjuri unul care nu m\u0103 freca la icre nici pe un sfert c\u00e2t o faci tu \u015fi, de asemenea, sugi pula lung, ap\u0103sat \u015fi deosebit de tandru.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    \u00cel \u015fti\u0163i pe tipul \u0103la, Brad Pitt? S\u0103-l lu\u0103m pe Brad Pitt de acum 5 ani, c\u00e2nd \u00eenc\u0103 transmitea sex appeal prin to\u0163i porii. Dac\u0103 Brad Pitt de acum 5 ani ar fi devenit boyfriend-ul meu, ar fi f\u0103cut amor fabulos cu mine pe plajele din Maldive, m-ar fi \u0163inut \u00eentr-un castel la Paris \u015fi m-ar fi \u00eembr\u0103cat numai \u00een Dior, dar m-ar fi frecat la modul \u0103sta la icre, le-a\u015f fi dat \u00een mama lor de Maldive, Paris \u015fi Dior \u015fi a\u015f fi revenit cu drag la lini\u015ftea c\u0103su\u0163ei mele din Titan.<\/p>\n

    Iubirea are nevoie de pauze. De aer. De via\u0163\u0103 de sine st\u0103t\u0103toare pentru fiecare dintre cei doi.<\/p>\n

    “Dar eu nici nu sunt boyfriend-ul lu’ Pisi, cu asta o vr\u0103jesc.”<\/p>\n

    Vai. De. Pu. Pi. La. Ta.<\/p>\n

    4. Acuza\u0163iile\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \u0162ie \u0163i se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 un rahat, scrii un text \u015fi-i dai share.<\/p>\n

    Fetele: Na, sorry, te pup, baft\u0103 s\u0103 rezolvi.<\/p>\n

    Gogu: Da’ tu pierzi timp cu c\u0103caturile astea?<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Gogu, evident, nu vrea s\u0103 spun\u0103 dec\u00e2t c\u0103 rahatul poate fi rezolvat mai eficient. Problema e cu modul \u00een care o spune. Mod pe care orice femeie \u015fi jum\u0103tate din b\u0103rba\u0163i \u00eel citesc ca “man, e\u015fti un ratat, problemele tale nu conteaz\u0103, io-s bosu’ la bo\u015fi”.<\/p>\n

    De aceea, dac\u0103 vrei s\u0103 transmi\u0163i informa\u0163ia “rahatul poate fi rezolvat mai eficient”, f\u0103 exact asta. Nu transmite printre r\u00e2nduri c\u0103 tu te crezi buricu’ la p\u0103m\u00e2nt \u015fi c\u0103 dispre\u0163uie\u015fti tot ce a f\u0103cut femeia s\u0103 rezolve rahatul pentru c\u0103 o s\u0103 te treze\u015fti c\u0103 nu mai comunic\u0103 cu tine \u015fi tot tu o s\u0103 te miri de ce.<\/p>\n

    Urm\u0103ri\u0163i acest caz eroic de bun\u0103 inten\u0163ie livrat\u0103 cu un ambalaj de grosol\u0103nie care face ca buna inten\u0163ie s\u0103 fie neacceptabil\u0103.<\/p>\n

    \"propunere\"<\/p>\n

    Tu emi\u0163i o gherl\u0103 pentru c\u0103 nu te-ai g\u00e2ndit. Femeile pot s\u0103-\u0163i poarte pic\u0103 ani \u00een \u015fir pentru c\u00e2te o t\u00e2mpenie pe care ai spus-o pe nemestecate. Mama e divor\u0163at\u0103 de tata de peste un sfert de secol \u015fi \u00eenc\u0103-\u015fi aminte\u015fte cum, dup\u0103 c\u0103s\u0103torie, i-a spus \u00een nu \u015ftiu ce context c\u0103 dac\u0103 ai prins trenul, nu mai alergi dup\u0103 el.<\/p>\n

    “Cum ai putut s\u0103-i spui a\u015fa ceva?” l-am luat eu la rost.<\/p>\n

    “\u0102\u0103\u0103, nu \u0163in minte c\u00e2nd am spus asta. Cred c\u0103 f\u0103ceam o glum\u0103.”<\/p>\n

    “Data viitoare c\u00e2nd \u00eei faci o glum\u0103 unei femei, zi un banc cu Bul\u0103”.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    5. Promisiunile pe care nu le \u0163ii\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Tu promi\u0163i c\u0103 faci \u015fi c\u0103 dregi, ca s-o impresionezi. Ea te crede. \u015ei a\u015fteapt\u0103 s\u0103 treci la fapte.<\/p>\n

    Tu, evident, nu po\u0163i s\u0103 faci \u015fi s\u0103 dregi, c\u0103 te-ai supraevaluat \u00een promisiuni.<\/p>\n

    Ea trage concluzia c\u0103 e\u015fti un mincinos \u015fi un l\u0103ud\u0103ros \u015fi te \u015fterge din telefon.<\/p>\n

    S\u0103 repet\u0103m \u00eempreun\u0103:<\/p>\n

    “Nu \u015ftiu dac\u0103 pot. \u00cencerc.”<\/p>\n

    “Cred c\u0103 a\u015f putea face asta, dar nu promit, hai s\u0103 vedem ce iese.”<\/p>\n

    “Pot vorbi cu X \u015fi cu Y, \u015fi vedem”.<\/p>\n

    Pe scurt, nu promite c\u0103 faci lucruri, promite c\u0103 faci ce \u0163ine de tine.<\/p>\n

    E mai spectaculos s\u0103 nu promi\u0163i, ci s\u0103 livrezi, dec\u00e2t s\u0103 ba\u0163i c\u00e2mpii grandoman \u015fi s\u0103 nu ias\u0103 nimic.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Mul\u0163i oameni, c\u00e2nd vorbesc despre ei \u00een\u015fi\u015fi, se descriu drept b\u0103rba\u0163i buni. \u015ei dac\u0103 se analizeaz\u0103, v\u0103d c\u0103 nu dau \u00een cap pe strad\u0103,...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9872,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10445","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sweet-3"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/7_psrr7.jpg?fit=600%2C600&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10445","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10445"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10445\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10452,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10445\/revisions\/10452"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9872"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10445"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10445"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10445"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}