\u00cen materie de tot ce e gre\u015fit \u00een materie de sl\u0103bit, eu sunt regin\u0103. Am aplicat at\u00e2tea idei cretine, at\u00e2tea solu\u0163ii de rahat, at\u00e2tea b\u0103\u015fini penibile, am ajuns de at\u00e2tea ori \u00een pragul ulcerelor, anemiei, \u015fi altor rahaturi, \u00eenc\u00e2t sunt expertul absolut a ce s\u0103 NU faci ca s\u0103 fii supl\u0103, fericit\u0103 \u015fi z\u00e2n\u0103.<\/p>\n
S\u0103 atac\u0103m dar\u0103.<\/p>\n
Exist\u0103 motive juste de sl\u0103bit. S\u0103n\u0103tate. Succes profesional. Stim\u0103 de sine.<\/p>\n
\u015ei motive absolut periculoase de sl\u0103bit. Iar regele motivelor periculoase e iubirea unuia care se face pipi cu bolt\u0103 romanic\u0103 pe sufletul t\u0103u sensibil.<\/p>\n
Accept\u0103 sfatul unui om trecut prin ciur \u015fi prin d\u00e2rmon: un om care te iube\u015fte te iube\u015fte pentru cine e\u015fti. Exist\u0103 b\u0103rba\u0163i care se c\u0103s\u0103toresc cu grase. Exist\u0103 b\u0103rba\u0163i care se c\u0103s\u0103toresc cu grase \u015fi le ofer\u0103 iubire \u015fi sprijin moral s\u0103 le ajute s\u0103 dea jos surplusul. <\/p>\n
Am avut un cuplu de cunoscu\u0163i acum ni\u015fte ani, unde el se trezea diminea\u0163a \u015fi-i preg\u0103tea cutioara de plastic cu dovlecel g\u0103tit la abur \u015fi pe\u015fte slab, \u015fi o a\u015ftepta seara cu ciorbi\u0163\u0103 de \u015ftevie, s-o ajute s\u0103 dea jos tona de os\u00e2nz\u0103. \u0102la da b\u0103rbat. Pentru el a\u015f sl\u0103bi \u015fi eu. Numai c\u0103, a\u015fa cum se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 mereu, grasa pe care o p\u0103storea \u0103sta era o vac\u0103 sinistr\u0103. A sl\u0103bit bine mersi \u015fi s-a combinat cu un bradpitt cu zece ani mai t\u00e2n\u0103r.<\/p>\n
Mi-e jen\u0103 de genul \u0103sta de proaste, \u00eei fac pe misogini s\u0103 par\u0103 c\u0103 au dreptate.<\/p>\n
Pe scurt, dac\u0103 omul pentru care vrei s\u0103 sl\u0103be\u015fti te ajut\u0103 concret cu lucruri, sl\u0103be\u015fte pentru el. Dac\u0103 doar te umile\u015fte – privat, sau doamne feri, de fa\u0163\u0103 cu prietenii t\u0103i \/ lui – arat\u0103-i degetul mijlociu \u015fi administreaz\u0103-i un \u015fut cu tot piciorul t\u0103u bine \u00eenfipt \u00een trotuar.<\/p>\n
2. “Micul dejun e al dracu’ de important, ioi”\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Vax. Rahat. Rahat cu cherje.<\/p>\n Eu nu-s un om care s\u0103 aib\u0103 chef s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nce diminea\u0163a. Cafea cu lapte \u015fi la revedere p\u00e2n\u0103 pe la dou\u0103.<\/p>\n \u00cens\u0103 au existat perioade \u00een via\u0163a mea c\u00e2nd s-au pus oameni cu gura pe mine. “C\u0103 \u0103\u0103, cine nu m\u00e2nc\u0103 diminea\u0163a m\u00e2nc\u0103 ca porcu’ la pr\u00e2nz \u015fi hau-hau-hau.”<\/p>\n \u015ei m\u00e2ncam diminea\u0163a de gura lor, apoi \u00eemi era toat\u0103 ziua foame. Stomacul meu dat peste cap de aport alimentar la o or\u0103 pe care n-o recuno\u015ftea r\u0103spundea printr-o bulimie absolut penibil\u0103. \u015ei m\u0103 \u00eengr\u0103\u015fam porcin.<\/p>\n Morala pove\u015ftii: oamenii-s diferi\u0163i, orele lor de mas\u0103 a\u015fijderea. Las\u0103-l pe stomacul t\u0103u s\u0103 decid\u0103 care-s orele la care vrea m\u00e2ncare \u015fi nu-l for\u0163a inutil.<\/p>\n 3. “Nu m\u00e2nca nici un carbohidrat, niciodat\u0103, c\u0103carbohidratu-i satana”\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Un alt idiot cu preten\u0163ii de expert m-a convins s\u0103 renun\u0163 la tot dulcele din lume. Nuga \u00eengra\u015f\u0103, halvaua \u00eengra\u015f\u0103, penisul cu fri\u015fc\u0103 \u00eengra\u015f\u0103, dar \u015fi cartofii \u00eengra\u015f\u0103, iar de orez nici s\u0103 nu discut\u0103m.<\/p>\n \u00cen acea perioad\u0103 aveam dureri de cap de-mi vuiau urechile. R\u0103u. Crunt. Logic c\u0103 m\u0103 durea capul. \u00cen absen\u0163a glucozei din s\u00e2nge, de unde energie?<\/p>\n Carbohidra\u0163ii sunt sursa principal\u0103 de energie a organismului. Punct. Nu-i dai organismului energie? O s-o arzi ca o molusc\u0103 beat\u0103 toat\u0103 ziua \u015fi o s\u0103 fie un efort pentru tine s\u0103-\u0163i t\u00e2r\u0103\u015fti ciolanele la bud\u0103 s\u0103 nu faci pipi pe tine.<\/p>\n Morala: m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 MODERAT CARBOHIDRA\u0162I. Iar Dukan suge pula.<\/p>\n 4. “Dietele detoxifiante”<\/strong><\/p>\n Poate spun nout\u0103\u0163i, dar, \u015ftii, ai un ficat. \u0102la face toat\u0103 detoxifierea de care ai nevoie. Ajutat de un regim alimentar moderat \u015fi echilibrat, cu un num\u0103r modest de E-uri, cu multe legume \u015fi fructe, ficatul t\u0103u se ocup\u0103 de tot ce e detoxifiere.<\/p>\n Regimurile alea pe baz\u0103 de suc \u015fi nimic altceva sunt deficitare \u00een altceva de care corpul t\u0103u are nevoie. Proteine. Ce ne d\u0103 nou\u0103 proteina, combinat\u0103 cu sport? Musculatur\u0103 frumoas\u0103 \u015fi sexy. Ce ne d\u0103 nou\u0103 musculatura frumoas\u0103 \u015fi sexy? \u0162inut\u0103, forme, tonus. Ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 dac\u0103 bem numai suc de ca\u015fcove stoarse? \u00cen loc s\u0103 ardem \u0163esut adipos, ardem \u0163esut muscular \u015fi ajungem ni\u015fte pleo\u015ftite, conform bancului “Da, Bul\u0103, joac\u0103-te cu \u0163\u00e2\u0163ele, dar nu le scoate din curte.<\/p>\n Muie Olivia Steer.<\/p>\n 5. “Evit\u0103 gr\u0103simile”<\/strong><\/p>\n Nu \u00ee\u0163i recomand s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nci bacon pe slan\u0103, pe care ai \u015fi uns ditamai stratul de unt. Dar o serie de vitamine, printre care A (ten frumos, p\u0103r m\u0103t\u0103sos, ochi limpezi), D (esen\u0163ial\u0103 \u00een fixarea calciului, aka oase s\u0103n\u0103toase), E (piele fin\u0103, inim\u0103, sistem nervos) \u015fi K (s\u00e2ngerare moderat\u0103 la ciclu) sunt liposolubile. Nu consumi gr\u0103simi? Toate astea se dau peste cap.<\/p>\n A\u015fadar, p\u0103streaz\u0103 \u00een alimenta\u0163ie un nivel moderat de gr\u0103simi \u015fi f\u0103 sport \u00een contul lor.<\/p>\n 6. “Lactatele sunt satana”\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n Exist\u0103 un alt trend idiot care rage \u00eempotriva lactatelor. \u00cen pu\u0163inul timp \u00een care am \u00eencercat s\u0103-l \u00eencerc, eu, predispus\u0103 din na\u015ftere la lips\u0103 de calciu, am \u00eenceput s\u0103 le\u015fin \u00een drum \u015fi s\u0103 fac pete albe pe unghii.<\/p>\n M-am oprit la nea Ioni\u0163\u0103 din Pia\u0163\u0103 \u015fi am luat o bucat\u0103 mare de telemea maturat\u0103 de oaie din M\u0103rginimea Sibiului. Am devorat-o pe toat\u0103 dintr-un \u015fut. 540 de grame.<\/p>\n \u00cen dou\u0103 zile, petele albe de pe unghii au disp\u0103rut.<\/p>\n Tot a\u015fa, pentru c\u0103 oamenii-s diferi\u0163i \u015fi nevoile lor, idem. \u015ei muie oricui crede c\u0103 exist\u0103 un Pat al lui Procust alimentar.<\/p>\n 7. “Nu m\u00e2nca seara dup\u0103 6”\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Am \u00eencercat \u015fi idio\u0163enia asta. Zbiera foamea-n mine ca uraganul Katrina. Era 4 noaptea \u015fi \u00eenc\u0103 nu adormisem. Pe la 6 m\u0103 ardea stomacul de ziceai c\u0103 toat\u0103 gastrita din univers \u00ee\u015fi d\u0103duse \u015fedin\u0163\u0103 \u00een mine. M\u0103 \u015fi balonasem de la foame ca un copila\u015f subnutrit african cu burta c\u00e2t un pepene.<\/p>\n Versiunea corect\u0103: nu m\u00e2nca slan\u0103 cu sarmale \u015fi cu tob\u0103 seara dup\u0103 \u015fase. Un iaurt cu trei biscui\u0163i digestivi, un ou fiert sau o salat\u0103 verde t\u0103iat\u0103 cu c\u00e2teva ro\u015fii cherry \u015fi o m\u00e2n\u0103 de migdale, chestii u\u015foare \u015fi \u00een cantitate mic\u0103, \u00ee\u0163i vor reda pacea interioar\u0103. Acum nu m\u0103 \u00eentreba\u0163i dac\u0103 \u00eenainte sau dup\u0103 mas\u0103.<\/p>\n 8. “Exist\u0103 dieta care te face s\u0103 dai jos o sut\u0103 de kilograme \u00een patru zile”.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Da. \u00ce\u0163i va elimina apa din organism \u015fi \u0163esutul muscular \u015fi o s\u0103 fii o molusc\u0103 extenuat\u0103. \u00cen plus, efectul yo-yo te va face s\u0103 cre\u015fti de zici c\u0103 te-a proiectat arhitecta Casei Poporului.<\/p>\n 9. “Dac\u0103 \u0163ii dieta corect\u0103, po\u0163i s\u0103 revii la sarmale cu slan\u0103 \u015fi untur\u0103 cu c\u00e2rna\u0163i \u015fi nu te mai \u00eengra\u015fi.”\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Yea, right. \u015ei exist\u0103 unicorni, yeti \u015fi replica de ag\u0103\u0163at perfect\u0103 care va da femei peste cap pentru to\u0163i ur\u00e2\u0163ii. NOT.<\/p>\n O greutate corect\u0103 \u00eenseamn\u0103 op\u0163iuni corecte, zi de zi. S\u0103 \u00eembini corect proteine (multe) cu carbohidra\u0163i (moderat) \u015fi gr\u0103simi (moderat) \u015fi efort fizic.<\/p>\n 10. “E musai s\u0103 faci sal\u0103 \/ aerobic \/ zumba \/ ce alt\u0103 abera\u0163ie \u00ee\u015fi pretinde suprema\u0163ia \u00een s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na aia.”\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Nu, iubirea tatii. Unii sl\u0103besc superb cu Pilates (eu), altora Pilates nu le urne\u015fte nici un gram. Unii jur\u0103 pe yoga, al\u0163ii nu \u00een\u0163eleg nimic din ea. Unii fac corpuri de zei tr\u0103g\u00e2nd de fiare, al\u0163ii dorm pe aparate (eu). Unii sl\u0103besc de-a dreptul providen\u0163ial de la alergat, al\u0163ii de la dansuri, al\u0163ii de la sex intensiv de trei ori pe zi.<\/p>\n Secretul e s\u0103 descoperi ceva ce-\u0163i place \u015fi te face s\u0103 transpiri asiduu. Inclusiv s\u0103 dai drumul la un radio de bum\u0163i-bum\u0163i \u015fi s\u0103 \u0163op\u0103i singur prin cas\u0103. E tot exerci\u0163iu fizic. Important e s\u0103 p\u0103r\u0103se\u015fti imperiul canapelei.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u00cen materie de tot ce e gre\u015fit \u00een materie de sl\u0103bit, eu sunt regin\u0103. Am aplicat at\u00e2tea idei cretine, at\u00e2tea solu\u0163ii de rahat, at\u00e2tea...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10627,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10621","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/cantar.png?fit=400%2C400&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10621","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10621"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10621\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12420,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10621\/revisions\/12420"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10627"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10621"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10621"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10621"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}