Am v\u0103zut ieri tema asta discutat\u0103 pe Facebook \u015fi m-am g\u00e2ndit s\u0103 dau \u015fi eu o p\u0103rere.<\/p>\n
Se poate s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2i bun prieten, respectiv bun\u0103 prieten\u0103 cu cineva dorit intens \u015fi iubit cu pasiune? \u00eentreba autoarea statusului, iar r\u0103spunsurile variau de la “niciodat\u0103, s\u0103 nu-l mai v\u0103d \u00een ochi” la “dac\u0103 iube\u015fti pe cineva, o s\u0103-i vrei \u00eentotdeauna binele”.<\/p>\n
Eu a\u015f zice c\u0103 totul depinde de c\u00e2t de echilibrat\u0103 a fost povestea de dragoste.<\/p>\n
Dac\u0103 a fost o iubire reciproc generoas\u0103, \u00een care oamenii au c\u0103utat cu profund\u0103 bun\u0103 credin\u0163\u0103 s\u0103-i ofere celuilalt ce puteau mai bun, \u00een deplin\u0103 reciprocitate, prietenia nu are de ce s\u0103 nu existe. Dimpotriv\u0103. Genul \u0103sta de dragoste se transform\u0103 de la sine, \u00een mod direct, \u00een prietenie. Chiar \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 ca oamenii s\u0103 se despart\u0103. Pur \u015fi simplu, pe m\u0103sur\u0103 ce atrac\u0163ia sexual\u0103 se consum\u0103, \u015fi r\u0103m\u00e2n afec\u0163iunea, sus\u0163inerea \u015fi preocuparea fa\u0163\u0103 de binele real al celuilalt om, construie\u015fti o prietenie care va dura mult dup\u0103 desp\u0103r\u0163ire.<\/p>\n
Dac\u0103 a fost genul \u0103la de iubire unilateral\u0103, \u00een care cineva a oferit p\u00e2n\u0103 s-a epuizat, \u015fi altcineva a luat la modul cel mai misecuvenist, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 se preocupe de nevoile celeilalte p\u0103r\u0163i, nu putem vorbi de prietenie.<\/p>\n
Dac\u0103 p\u0103r\u0103se\u015fte cel care ofer\u0103, cel\u0103lalt o s\u0103 se simt\u0103 nedrept\u0103\u0163it ca \u00een bancul cu cer\u015fetorul: “De ce-mi dai 50 de bani? Ieri mi-ai dat un leu.” “P\u0103i da, dar azi am pierdut ni\u015fte bani.” “\u015ei ce, dac\u0103 ai pierdut tu bani, de ce trebuie s\u0103 suf\u0103r eu?”<\/p>\n
Dac\u0103 p\u0103r\u0103se\u015fte cel care prime\u015fte, scandalul o s\u0103 fie \u00een zona: ” Dup\u0103 tot ce am f\u0103cut pentru tine…”<\/p>\n
De aceea, recomand c\u0103lduros s\u0103 nu accepta\u0163i o formul\u0103 \u00een care s\u0103 nu v\u0103 sim\u0163i\u0163i deplin mul\u0163umi\u0163i de ce primi\u0163i \u00een momentul \u0103la. Nu, oamenii nu se schimb\u0103. Nu exist\u0103: “Dac\u0103 \u00eei vorbesc eu foarte conving\u0103tor, o s\u0103 \u00eenceap\u0103 s\u0103.” Fie o face deja, fie n-o va face niciodat\u0103. \u015ei asta e probat\u0103. Testat\u0103. Constatat\u0103 pe propria piele.<\/p>\n
\u00cen general, iubirile reciproc generoase se construiesc cumva de la sine, ca un joc de ping-pong, iar alea unilaterale sunt cele \u00een care dai numai tu serve.<\/p>\n
*<\/p>\n
Un alt factor care ajut\u0103 mult \u00een men\u0163inerea unei prietenii ulterioare const\u0103 \u00een modul de a trata obliga\u0163iile comune, dac\u0103 apar. Modul \u00een care se \u00eempart bunuri \u015fi, respectiv, datorii comune. C\u0103 dac\u0103 X p\u0103r\u0103se\u015fte rela\u0163ia \u015fi, eventual, \u015fi datoriile ap\u0103rute \u00een timpul ei, cam greu s\u0103 ai sentimente prietene\u015fti. Dac\u0103 Y pleac\u0103 \u015fi face partaj \u015fi la num\u0103rul de linguri, te sc\u00e2rbe\u015fti definitiv. Iar dac\u0103 Z, cum am citit eu pe un forum, \u00ee\u015fi mai \u015fi cere cadourile \u00eenapoi, \u0163i-e clar c\u0103 n-ai cu cine, definitiv \u015fi irevocabil.<\/p>\n
Situa\u0163ia e mai complex\u0103 dac\u0103 exist\u0103 copii, pentru c\u0103 minimum unul dintre parteneri r\u0103m\u00e2ne cu o uria\u015f\u0103 responsabilitate moral\u0103, social\u0103 \u015fi financiar\u0103 pe umeri, \u015fi, dac\u0103 e mam\u0103 p\u0103r\u0103sit\u0103, mai e \u015fi factorul: “Am renun\u0163at la fizicul meu superb s\u0103-\u0163i las \u0163ie urma\u015fi \u015fi tu te cari \u015fi-\u0163i tr\u0103ie\u015fti via\u0163a, porcule”.<\/p>\n
Atunci, cea mai bun\u0103 cale spre prietenie e asumarea corect\u0103 a responsabilit\u0103\u0163ilor de p\u0103rinte \u015fi dup\u0103 desp\u0103r\u0163ire. Copiii necesit\u0103 o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de bani. Cu c\u00e2t cresc, le cresc a\u015ftept\u0103rile. Nevoile. Cheltuielile. A\u015f introduce pedeapsa capital\u0103 pentru genul “tat\u0103 care divor\u0163eaz\u0103 de copil”.<\/p>\n
\u015ei ultimul factor pe care vreau s\u0103-l men\u0163ionez e motivul desp\u0103r\u0163irii. Sunt desp\u0103r\u0163iri care se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 cumva natural. Sim\u0163i c\u0103 rela\u0163ia s-a consumat \u015fi c\u0103 nu mai e nimic. Nu trebuie s\u0103-\u0163i explice nimeni sentimentul. Atunci, prietenia e fireasc\u0103 \u015fi e lucrul care r\u0103m\u00e2ne viu pentru totdeauna.<\/p>\n
Dar sunt \u015fi desp\u0103r\u0163iri bru\u015fte, dureroase, din motive absolut t\u00e2mpite. Desp\u0103r\u0163iri care-\u0163i las\u0103 senza\u0163ia c\u0103 mai aveai foarte mult\u0103 iubire de dat \u015fi ai r\u0103mas cu ea pe stoc \u015fi nu \u015ftii ce s\u0103 faci. Desp\u0103r\u0163iri pe nepreg\u0103tite, f\u0103r\u0103 respect pentru ritmul t\u0103u interior.<\/p>\n
Iar acolo, prietenia nu are absolut nici o \u015fans\u0103. Nimeni nu te bruscheaz\u0103 la modul \u0103sta dac\u0103 simte m\u0103car o f\u0103r\u00e2m\u0103 de preocupare pentru tine ca fiin\u0163\u0103 uman\u0103.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Am v\u0103zut ieri tema asta discutat\u0103 pe Facebook \u015fi m-am g\u00e2ndit s\u0103 dau \u015fi eu o p\u0103rere. Se poate s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2i bun prieten, respectiv...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10796,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10793","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/227777.jpg?fit=600%2C480&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10793","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10793"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10793\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10798,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10793\/revisions\/10798"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10796"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10793"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10793"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10793"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}