{"id":10916,"date":"2016-05-23T10:06:04","date_gmt":"2016-05-23T10:06:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=10916"},"modified":"2016-05-23T10:09:08","modified_gmt":"2016-05-23T10:09:08","slug":"decese-cu-nabadai","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/decese-cu-nabadai\/","title":{"rendered":"Decese cu n\u0103b\u0103d\u0103i"},"content":{"rendered":"

Pe m\u0103sur\u0103 ce omul devine mai \u00een\u0163elept, se reduce din ce \u00een ce mai mult la esen\u0163e. Astfel, \u00een 2016, singurul lucru newsworthy pe care \u00eel mai poate face cineva e s\u0103 moar\u0103. Preferabil cu model de creieri pe pere\u0163i sau asfalt. Pentru c\u0103, pe 2016, Dumnezeu pare s\u0103 prefere lemnul \u015fi spa\u0163iile mici.
\nDar merge \u015fi o \u00eenmorm\u00e2ntare fastuoas\u0103, cu multe sule \u015fi tr\u00e2mbi\u0163e, intens televizabil\u0103. Care necesit\u0103 poten\u0163ial financiar pe m\u0103sur\u0103.
\n\u015ei-mi \u015fi imaginez un cuplu de pensionari, mo\u015f Ion \u015fi baba M\u0103ria, uit\u00e2ndu-se vis\u0103tori la televizor:
\n-Vezi, m\u0103, Ioane, dac\u0103 n-ai \u015ftiut s\u0103 furi ca lumea, noi o s\u0103 avem \u00eenmorm\u00e2nt\u0103ri de vai steaua noastr\u0103.
\n-Niciodat\u0103 nu \u0163i-a convenit nimic din ce am avut, M\u0103rie.
\n-P\u0103i da, m-am m\u0103ritat gre\u015fit. Uite, Vasile \u015fi-a f\u0103cut butic dup\u0103 revolu\u0163ie, a c\u00e2\u015ftigat bani, apoi c\u00e2nd au f\u0103cut \u0103\u015ftia legi, a \u00eenceput s\u0103 fac\u0103 afaceri cu China. Descurc\u0103re\u0163. A murit acum dou\u0103 luni \u015fi l-au dat la toate \u015ftirile. Cea mai frumoas\u0103 \u00eenmorm\u00e2ntare pe care am v\u0103zut-o vreodat\u0103.
\n Iar eu te-am luat pe tine de frumos. Frumos \u015fi prost. \u015ei o s\u0103 mor \u00een anonimat.
\n-Dac\u0103 e\u015fti deja moart\u0103, ce-\u0163i mai pas\u0103, M\u0103rie.
\n-B\u0103i, Ioane, tu chiar e\u015fti prost. Mai merit\u0103 s\u0103 mori dac\u0103 nu te d\u0103 la televizor cu tot convoiul funerar \u015fi nu pl\u00e2nge toat\u0103 \u0163ara \u00een pumni c\u0103 ei n-are posibilit\u0103\u0163i ca ale tale?
\n-Ce-i drept, nu. Dar eu nu m\u0103 gr\u0103besc.
\n-Sau cum a fost accidentul \u0103sta zilele trecute, c\u0103 toate vecinele au c\u00e2te o teorie profesionist\u0103 de Sherlock Holmes cu maram\u0103 ce sunt ele. Ce accident putem noi s\u0103 facem cu Dacia ta rablagit\u0103 din 1970?
\n-Asta e, M\u0103rie, nu putem \u0163ine pasul cu vremurile. \u015ei-atunci, s\u0103 mai bem o bere.
\n-Ioane, nep\u0103sarea asta a ta m\u0103 ucide! \u015ei m\u0103 ucide f\u0103r\u0103 glorie. OK? Cum ar veni, m\u0103 ucide degeaba. M\u0103 ucide f\u0103r\u0103 rating, iar asta e o crim\u0103 \u00een sine.
\n-Bine, M\u0103rie, am o idee. Ieftin\u0103, dar spectaculoas\u0103. Urc\u0103-te tu pe bloc<\/a>, ia fa\u0163a aia cu care te ui\u0163i la mine c\u00e2nd iau a treia bere din frigider, \u015fi taci. \u015etiu c\u0103 \u0163i-e greu s\u0103 taci, c\u0103 \u00een 50 de ani de c\u0103s\u0103torie n-ai f\u0103cut-o nici \u00een somn. Dar f\u0103-o pentru o cauz\u0103 nobil\u0103. O s\u0103 vin\u0103 toate televiziunile \u015fi o s\u0103 te sufle \u00een cur trei sferturi de \u0163ar\u0103.
\n-Bravo, Ioane. Hai c\u0103 nu e\u015fti tu chiar prost.
\n-Bravo, M\u0103rie, \u00een sf\u00e2r\u015fit recuno\u015fti. Dar ia \u015fi un sandvi\u015f la tine, s\u0103 nu \u0163i se fac\u0103 foame \u015fi s\u0103 cazi naibii, c\u0103 e mocheta nesp\u0103lat\u0103 \u00een sufragerie. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pe m\u0103sur\u0103 ce omul devine mai \u00een\u0163elept, se reduce din ce \u00een ce mai mult la esen\u0163e. Astfel, \u00een 2016, singurul lucru newsworthy pe...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10643,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10916","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/lemnulsispatiilemici.jpg?fit=960%2C960&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10916","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10916"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10916\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10920,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10916\/revisions\/10920"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10643"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10916"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10916"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10916"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}