-\u015ei ce dori\u0163i s\u0103 v\u0103 ofer? \u00eel \u00eentreb\u0103 dil\u0103rul.
\n-Ceva bun.
\n-Tot ce am eu e bun, domnule. \u00cemi place s\u0103 surprind prin varietate.
\n-Bine. Ne potrivim. Mie \u00eemi place s\u0103 fiu suprins. Ce \u00eemi pute\u0163i oferi?
\n-Ceva conceptual?
\n-Pfff! Domnule. Mie, ceva conceptual?
\nP\u0103i mintea mea e o filozofie de sine st\u0103t\u0103toare.
\nMintea mea a cristalizat fa\u0163ete ale universului pe care nimeni nu le-a \u00eentrez\u0103rit vreodat\u0103.
\nA deschis u\u015fi \u00eentre universuri paralele,
\nA reconfigurat dimensiunile materiei
\nA descompus \u015fi recompus universul \u00eentr-o structur\u0103 final\u0103, pe care nimic n-o va sparge vreodat\u0103.
\nNu am cum s\u0103 fiu mai conceptual. <\/p>\n
-Am \u00een\u0163eles. Dori\u0163i ceva pentru imagina\u0163ie?
\n-Domnule, m\u0103 confunzi.
\nEu sunt p\u0103rintele imagina\u0163iei.
\nEu nu m\u0103 laud c\u0103 am imagina\u0163ie, ci imagina\u0163ia se laud\u0103 c\u0103 m\u0103 are pe mine.
\nEu sunt medalia de onoare pe pieptul imagina\u0163iei.
\nEu nu iau droguri pentru imagina\u0163ie, drogurile m\u0103 iau pe mine.
\nNu am cum s\u0103 fiu mai imaginativ. <\/p>\n
-Ceva pentru energie?
\n-Pentru ce?
\n-Ener…
\n-Domnule, eu \u00eemi re\u00eencarc bateriile creion cu gura,
\nSuflu pe ele \u015fi gata, sunt noi.
\nEu fur linguri cu for\u0163a g\u00e2ndului
\n\u015ei sparg termopane c\u00e2nd m\u0103 apuc s\u0103 c\u00e2nt.
\nFuria mea singur\u0103 creeaz\u0103 explozii la distan\u0163\u0103.
\nNu am cum s\u0103 fiu mai energic. <\/p>\n
-Bine. Dar ceva pentru relaxare v-ar prinde bine.
\nInterveni \u015fi femeia:
\n-Da, dragoste, asta cred \u015fi eu. Ceva pentru relaxare \u0163i-ar prinde bine.
\n\u015ei dil\u0103rul \u00eei oferi pache\u0163elul ambalat cu grij\u0103, \u00ee\u015fi \u00eencas\u0103 banii \u015fi plec\u0103. <\/p>\n
Dup\u0103 o or\u0103, sim\u0163i o erec\u0163ie care-i pornea parc\u0103 din r\u0103d\u0103cinile chintesen\u0163iale ale arborelui genealogic.
\nCa \u015fi cum \u00eentreaga fiin\u0163\u0103 i s-ar fi transformat \u00eentr-un penis uria\u015f. <\/p>\n
-Femeie, hai s\u0103 ne futem.
\n-Vai, iubitule, credeam c\u0103 nu mi-o mai ceri niciodat\u0103. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
-\u015ei ce dori\u0163i s\u0103 v\u0103 ofer? \u00eel \u00eentreb\u0103 dil\u0103rul. -Ceva bun. -Tot ce am eu e bun, domnule. \u00cemi place s\u0103 surprind prin varietate....<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11160,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11157","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/green-grass.jpg?fit=1440%2C900&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11157","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11157"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11157\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11162,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11157\/revisions\/11162"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11160"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11157"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11157"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11157"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}