Vasile era un om modest. Avea un singur vis \u00een aceast\u0103 via\u0163\u0103: s\u0103 se cace \u00een lini\u015fte.<\/p>\n
Poate din cauza asta ura cu fl\u0103c\u0103ri imaginare litoralul rom\u00e2nesc. Cu toate localurile unde buda turceasc\u0103 era \u00eendeob\u015fte la o flegm\u0103 distan\u0163\u0103 de prima mas\u0103, unde o familie cu doi copii tocmai m\u00e2nca ciorbi\u021b\u0103 de puiu\u021b. <\/p>\n
Dac\u0103 e s\u0103 fim foarte sinceri, Vasile nu ajunsese la nivelul de proficien\u0163\u0103 \u00een me\u015fte\u015fugul c\u0103c\u0103rii la buda turceasc\u0103. De fapt, nu ajunsese nici m\u0103car la nivelul intermediar. OK, hai s\u0103 fim brutali: lurkerea pe undeva pe culmile lipsei absolute de skill.<\/p>\n
Pentru Vasile, ghemuiala era un chin. \u00cei \u00eencorda toat\u0103 musculatura piciorului. \u015ei implicit \u015fi sfincterele. \u015ei iat\u0103-l pe Vasile al meu ap\u0103s\u00e2nd \u015fi gem\u00e2nd – “sigur \u00eendr\u0103gosti\u0163ii \u0103\u015ftia cred acum c\u0103 \u00eemi fac o lab\u0103 furibund\u0103” \u00een timp ce propria lui bort\u0103 refuza s\u0103-l serveasc\u0103 conform fi\u015fei postului.<\/p>\n
Se \u0163inea de to\u0163i pere\u0163ii de r\u00e2nd – laterale, fa\u0163\u0103-spate, fa\u0163\u0103 – lateral – \u015fi nimic. Era ca la dentist. Oric\u00e2t de tare te-ar durea m\u0103seaua, c\u00e2nd ajungi \u00een anticamer\u0103, trece ca prin farmec.<\/p>\n
Azi a\u015fa, m\u00e2ine a\u015fa, p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd \u00eentr-o sear\u0103, Vasile b\u0103g\u0103 un iaurt care-i st\u00e2rni o rafal\u0103 interioar\u0103 zgomotoas\u0103. B\u0103tr\u00e2ne\u0163ea te predispune la amnezie. Uitase c\u0103 m\u00e2ncase pepene cu zece minute \u00een urm\u0103.<\/p>\n
“Nu se poate. M\u0103 cac sau mor”, lozinc\u0103ri Vasile \u015fi n\u0103v\u0103li viteje\u015fte \u00een bud\u0103, ca steagul rom\u00e2nesc pe cr\u00e2ncena redut\u0103.<\/p>\n
Se ghemui. Dar afar\u0103 c\u00e2nta Michael Jackson. “Ce sunt eu, un monstru, s\u0103 m\u0103 cac pe Michael Jackson?”<\/p>\n
\u00ce\u015fi trase pantalonii la loc \u015fi ie\u015fi. \u00cel chinuia o durere \u00eennebunitoare de abdomen.<\/p>\n
“Hai, fut\u0103-v\u0103 soarele, toat\u0103 lumea la culcare, s\u0103 am \u015fi eu intimitatea c\u0103c\u0103rii”, oft\u0103 el \u00een g\u00e2nd.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Ora 4 noaptea. Bezn\u0103. Lini\u015fte. Vasile se strecur\u0103 ho\u0163e\u015fte \u00een buda turceasc\u0103, \u00ee\u015fi d\u0103du n\u0103dragii jos \u015fi zise:<\/p>\n
-Acum ori niciodat\u0103.<\/p>\n
Exact \u00een momentul \u0103la auzi pa\u015fi. O voce de b\u0103rbat:<\/p>\n
-Nu e frumoas\u0103 seara asta de august?<\/p>\n
O voce de femeie:<\/p>\n
-R\u0103coroas\u0103, \u015fi totu\u015fi at\u00e2t de cald\u0103.<\/p>\n
O voce de b\u0103rbat.<\/p>\n
-Exact a\u015fa. Via\u0163a asta e de fapt \u00eenc\u00e2nt\u0103toare!<\/p>\n
-\u00cenc\u00e2nt\u0103toare e m\u0103-ta, c\u0103ra\u0163i-v\u0103 \u00een pula mea!” \u00ee\u015fi morm\u0103i Vasile \u00een g\u00e2nd. \u015ei sc\u0103p\u0103 o b\u0103\u015fin\u0103 lung\u0103 \u015fi triumfal\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u0102ia, nimic.<\/p>\n
-Poate mergem la o plimbare cu ma\u015fina m\u00e2ine.<\/p>\n
-Da, \u015ftiu eu un restaurant care face saramur\u0103 genial\u0103.<\/p>\n
-Yuuum.<\/p>\n
\u015ei Vasile \u00een\u0163elese. \u0102\u015ftia nu pleac\u0103 nic\u0103ieri. \u015ei nici nu are cum s\u0103 treac\u0103 prin fa\u0163a lor, s\u0103-\u015fi asume paternitatea b\u0103\u015finii de mai devreme. Era \u00eenc\u0103pc\u0103nat \u00een buda turceasc\u0103. Posibil pentru vecie. Posibil doar pentru 14 ani, ca un Conte de Monte Cristo al zilelor noastre.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Vasile era un om modest. Avea un singur vis \u00een aceast\u0103 via\u0163\u0103: s\u0103 se cace \u00een lini\u015fte. Poate din cauza asta ura cu fl\u0103c\u0103ri...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11180,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11179","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/budaturceasca.jpg?fit=800%2C584&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11179","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11179"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11179\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17178,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11179\/revisions\/17178"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11180"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11179"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11179"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11179"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}