(avertisment: orice reproducere par\u0163ial\u0103 sau total\u0103 a acestui text, f\u0103r\u0103 acordul autorului, cade sub inciden\u0163a legilor referitoare la copyright \u015fi drepturi de autor)<\/p>\n
Necrofanul Nu sunt necrofil, oh, nu… Eu m\u0103 \u00eendr\u0103gostesc doar de sufletele oamenilor, Intelectual\u0103, desigur.<\/p>\n Nu sunt necrofag. Nu sunt necrolog, Nu sunt necromant \u015ei acum v\u0103 voi m\u0103rturisi Care v\u0103 va oripila, desigur \u2013 Eu sunt necrofan \u2013 \u201eMai mult\u0103 lumin\u0103\u201c, cerea Goethe. \u015ei de aici, vine \u015fi cea mai mare fric\u0103 a mea: De-aia, am fraza preg\u0103tit\u0103 pentru orice eventualitate. \u015ei \u015ftiu (avertisment: orice reproducere par\u0163ial\u0103 sau total\u0103 a acestui text, f\u0103r\u0103 acordul autorului, cade sub inciden\u0163a legilor referitoare la copyright \u015fi drepturi de autor) Necrofanul...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1129","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1129"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1129\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n\u015ei de acelea doar dac\u0103 sunt ambalate
\n\u00centr-o carne suficient de fraged\u0103 \u00eenc\u00eet s\u0103-mi provoace o erec\u0163ie<\/p>\n
\nNecrofag e\u015fti tu, care devorezi aripioare de pui la KFC
\nNecrofag sunte\u0163i \u015fi dvs., milord, c\u0103 v\u0103 ghiftui\u0163i de biftec tartar,
\nNecrofag\u0103 e\u015fti \u015fi tu,
\ndrag\u0103 Marjorie
\n\u015etiu c\u0103 e\u015fti ahtiat\u0103 dup\u0103 hot-dog, nu te mai ascunde dup\u0103 deget
\nC\u0103 te-ai cam \u00eemplinit \u00een ultima vreme, \u015fi \u00ee\u0163i iese umbra de dup\u0103 el.<\/p>\n
\nPentru c\u0103 nu am ap\u0103rut \u00een ziare, s\u0103 depl\u00eeng moartea nim\u0103nui,
\nPentru c\u0103 \u015ftiu tot circul care se ascunde pe dup\u0103 sintagma \u201erudele \u00eendoliate\u201c
\nO armat\u0103 de veri, veri\u015foare, cumna\u0163i, cumnate, nepo\u0163i, nepoate hr\u0103p\u0103re\u0163i \u015fi hr\u0103p\u0103re\u0163e
\nGata s\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi bea s\u00eengele unul altuia
\n\u00cen lupta necrofil-necrofag-necroloag\u0103 pentru ciolanul str\u0103mo\u015fesc<\/p>\n
\nNu \u00eencerc s-o invoc pe tu\u015fa Sally, s-o \u00eentreb dac\u0103 voi c\u00ee\u015ftiga la poker s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00eena viitoare
\nDe unde s\u0103 \u015ftie s\u0103raca femeie a\u015fa ceva?
\nDestul l-a b\u0103l\u0103c\u0103rit pe unchiul meu Horatius \u2013 Dumnezeu s\u0103-l odihneasc\u0103 \u00een pace!
\nCare a risipit o avere pe cursele de cai,
\n\u015ei pe care l-a p\u0103r\u0103sit, sf\u0103tuindu-l s\u0103-\u015fi caute pl\u0103cerea \u00een grajdul lui George al Cincilea, pentru c\u0103 \u00een el investe\u015fte f\u0103r\u0103 rezerve \u2013
\nIar el a ascultat-o.
\nDar destul despre istoricul sordid al familiei mele \u2013 pot doar s\u0103 v\u0103 spun c\u0103
\nacesta nu m-a \u00eencurajat spre necroman\u0163ie.<\/p>\n
\nAdev\u0103rata-mi \u00eenclina\u0163ie<\/p>\n
\nV\u0103 va oripila pe dracu!
\nCine \u015ftie dup\u0103 ce v\u0103 curge \u015fi vou\u0103 saliva
\nPe dup\u0103 meclele alea de u\u015fi de biserici.<\/p>\n
\n\u00cemi plac ultimele cuvinte ale oamenilor
\n\u00cenainte de \u00eent\u00eelnirea cu doamna cea neagr\u0103.
\nSau, m\u0103 rog, cu h\u00eerca cea h\u00eed\u0103 cu coasa
\nDepinde de unghiul din care o privim.<\/p>\n
\nSemn c\u0103 ai lui deja \u00eencepuser\u0103 cu economiile.
\n\u201eM-am plictisit de toate astea\u201c, m\u0103rturisea Sir Winston Churchill.
\n\u201eNu e momentul s\u0103 \u00eemi fac du\u015fmani\u201c, a refuzat Voltaire s\u0103 se lepede de Satana.<\/p>\n
\nDac\u0103 voi muri hodoronc-tronc \u2013
\n\u015ei nu voi apuca s\u0103 zic ceva memorabil??<\/p>\n
\nO zic de c\u00eete ori m\u0103 trezesc f\u0103r\u0103 v\u0103 vreau \u00een toiul nop\u0163ii,
\nO zic de c\u00eete ori sunt \u00een primejdie
\nDe c\u00eete ori m\u0103 cuprinde frica<\/p>\n
\nC\u0103 nu voi muri f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 v\u0103 las pe to\u0163i cu gura c\u0103scat\u0103
\nDe profunzimea de neb\u0103nuit a ultimelor mele cuvinte!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"