Zilele astea, m-am mutat.
\n\u00cenainte, locuiam \u00eentr-un bloc de pensionari. \u015ei uram cu spume urm\u0103torul fenomen:
\nTu ie\u015feai din cas\u0103, s\u0103 mergi la treaba ta. Instant, te repera vecina care tocmai venea cu dou\u0103 paporni\u0163e de la pia\u0163\u0103.
\n-Ce faci, dr\u0103gu\u0163\u0103?
\n-Bine, mul\u0163umesc.
\n-Unde te duci?
\n\u00cen g\u00e2nd: Ce te fute grija?
\n-La treab\u0103.
\n-A, bun, bun, n-ai servici de la \u015fapte diminea\u0163a, ca fiic\u0103-mea. C\u00e2t salariu ai?
\n\u00cen g\u00e2nd: Ce te fute grija?
\n-Salariile-s confiden\u0163iale, doamn\u0103.
\n-Ei, hai, c\u0103 mie po\u0163i s\u0103-mi spui. Sunt de \u00eencredere.
\n\u00cen g\u00e2nd: Ce te fute grija?
\n-L\u0103sa\u0163i.
\n-Cine e b\u0103iatul \u0103la dr\u0103gu\u0163 care te-a adus acas\u0103 cu ma\u015fina?
\n\u00cen g\u00e2nd: Dar ce mor\u0163ii t\u0103i te fute grija?
\n-Un simplu coleg.
\n-De ce nu l-ai invitat \u015fi tu \u00een cas\u0103?
\n\u00cen g\u00e2nd: Dar ce mor\u0163ii, r\u0103ni\u0163ii, strigoii \u015fi zombii t\u0103i te fute grija?
\n-\u00cemi cer scuze, sunt pe \u00eent\u00e2rziere. La revedere.
\nCred c\u0103 a\u015fa se \u015fi numea strada. Bulevardul Futerii de Grij\u0103, nr. 1. <\/p>\n
Acum, stau \u00eentr-un bloc de garsoniere. Ce v\u0103d pe sc\u0103ri? Oameni tineri, \u00een H&M \u015fi Mango. Oameni care te salut\u0103 \u015fi AT\u00c2T. Parc\u0103 e\u015fti \u00eentr-un hotel. \u015ei e at\u00e2t, dar at\u00e2t de bine. Millenials rule!<\/p>\n
La un moment dat a\u015fteptam liftul. Era pe sosite. M\u0103 rugam la Dumnezeu: “Doamne, f\u0103 s\u0103 nu vin\u0103 nimeni, Doamne, f\u0103…”
\nLiftul ajunge. Pang. Exact \u00een momentul \u0103la se aude pocnetul interfonului deschis.
\n“Futu-i na\u0163ia m\u0103-sii”, \u00eenjur eu \u00een g\u00e2nd dar, pentru c\u0103 sunt o fiin\u0163\u0103 educat\u0103, m\u0103 \u00eentorc simultan cu un z\u00e2mbet diafan pe buze, \u00een timp ce deschid u\u015fa liftului:
\n-Dori\u0163i s\u0103 urca\u0163i?
\n\u00cen bloc intr\u0103 o tip\u0103 cu p\u0103r tuns scurt, vopsit argintiu, \u015fi pantaloni gen \u015falvar cu motive orientale, asortate cu br\u0103\u0163\u0103rile de pe m\u00e2n\u0103.
\n-A, nu, l\u0103sa\u0163i, o s\u0103 a\u015ftept cel\u0103lalt lift. \u00cemi place s\u0103 urc singur\u0103, face.
\n“Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!” exclam eu \u00een sinea mea. “Yeeeeeeeeeeeeees! Unde ai fost p\u00e2n\u0103 acum, o, blocule, cu locatarii t\u0103i adorabil de antisociali?” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Zilele astea, m-am mutat. \u00cenainte, locuiam \u00eentr-un bloc de pensionari. \u015ei uram cu spume urm\u0103torul fenomen: Tu ie\u015feai din cas\u0103, s\u0103 mergi la treaba...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11331,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11330","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/WP_20160913_20_50_51_Pro.jpg?fit=1600%2C900&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11330","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11330"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11330\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11335,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11330\/revisions\/11335"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11331"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11330"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11330"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11330"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}