{"id":11380,"date":"2016-09-28T11:27:03","date_gmt":"2016-09-28T08:27:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=11380"},"modified":"2016-09-28T11:27:03","modified_gmt":"2016-09-28T08:27:03","slug":"un-scandal-monstruos-ep-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/un-scandal-monstruos-ep-4\/","title":{"rendered":"Un scandal monstruos, ep. 4"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Episoadele precedente:<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/un-scandal-monstruos\/\">1.<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/un-scandal-monstruos-2\/\">2. <\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/un-scandal-monstruos-ep-3\/\">3. <\/a><\/p>\n<p>Tema: \u00centr-o noapte, \u00eentr-o c\u00e2rcium\u0103 are loc un scandal.<\/p>\n<p>Varia\u0163iunile: \u00cen cele ce urmeaz\u0103, vom urm\u0103ri reclama\u0163iile mai multor martori prezen\u0163i (mai mult sau mai pu\u0163in) la eveniment.<\/p>\n<p>4. Un suflet de poet <\/p>\n<p>Stimate domnule primar,<br \/>\nSubsemnatul Leopold Calafat-R\u0103d\u0103u\u0163eanu, domiciliat \u00een superba Pia\u0163\u0103 a Unirii, m\u00e2ndria ora\u015fului nostru, de profesie bonviveur pentru c\u0103, slav\u0103 Domnului, am f\u0103cut afaceri europene prospere \u015fi nu am alt\u0103 \u00eendeletnicire cotidian\u0103 dec\u00e2t s\u0103 cheltuiesc bani \u00eentr-un mod hedonist, a\u015f dori s\u0103 fac o reclama\u0163ie \u00een privin\u0163a unui scandal regretabil \u015fi c\u00e2t se poate de monstruos.<br \/>\n\u00cenainte de a intra \u00een profunzimea subiectului, trebuie s\u0103 \u015fti\u0163i, domnule primar, c\u0103 via\u0163a \u00eentr-un ora\u015f mic \u015fi provincial ca al nostru, c\u00e2nd nu ai de ce s\u0103 te angoasezi pentru ziua de m\u00e2ine, este destul de anost\u0103, lipsit\u0103 de sinuozit\u0103\u0163i generatoare de varia\u0163iuni enigmatice, stimulatoare ale imagina\u0163iei sau&#8230; \u0103\u0103\u0103&#8230; exhilarante. Acelea\u015fi c\u00e2teva mundane cafenele, al c\u0103ror meniu ajungi s\u0103-l cuno\u015fti ca pe propria carte de aleg\u0103tor, dac\u0103 \u00een\u0163elege\u0163i aluzia, hihi, acelea\u015fi restaurante, acelea\u015fi pove\u015fti extorcate de orice urm\u0103 de sare \u015fi piper, sau, \u00een cazul nostru al celor stila\u0163i, de iehibahar, coriandru, \u015fofran \u015fi \u015fofr\u0103nel.<br \/>\nTocmai de aceasta, stimate domn primar, consider c\u0103 e de datoria mea de bonviveur \u015fi de connoisseur s\u0103 ap\u0103r flamboaiantul Sexy Balamuc, acest col\u0163i\u015for de depravare catifelat\u0103 \u015fi catifelare depravat\u0103, unde frumuse\u0163ea alcoolului \u015fi gustul femeilor te fac s\u0103-\u0163i ie\u015fi din matca liantului meschin \u015fi searb\u0103d al banalit\u0103\u0163ii \u00een care se scald\u0103 cet\u0103\u0163enii de m\u00e2na a treia, incapabili s\u0103 aprecieze frumosul, rafinatul \u015fi etilicul.<br \/>\nDomnule primar, mi se pare o ru\u015fine, o mizerie incalificabil\u0103, o m\u00e2r\u015f\u0103vie pestilen\u0163ial\u0103 \u015fi gr\u0103itoare pentru societatea lipsit\u0103 de lirism \u00een care ne desf\u0103\u015fur\u0103m imundul existen\u0163ei s\u0103 o acuze cineva pe frumoasa domni\u015foar\u0103 \u015eaizeci \u015fi Nou\u0103 c\u0103 ar fi&#8230; nu-mi amintesc cuv\u00e2ntul. \u00cen fine, un termen degradant \u015fi umilitor, care s\u0103 i se atribuie de c\u0103tre pauperi lipsi\u0163i de aspira\u0163ii \u00eenalte, sau, cel pu\u0163in, un venit care s\u0103 compenseze.<br \/>\nEu o cunosc bine pe domni\u015foara \u015eaizeci \u015fi Nou\u0103. O \u015fi alint pe scurt, Nou\u0103, pentru c\u0103 e mereu nou\u0103 pentru mine. I-am studiat \u00eendelung \u015fi \u00eendeaproape diafanul \u015fi seduc\u0103torul organism, pentru c\u0103 \u00eemi rezerv mereu masa cea mai din fa\u0163\u0103, s\u0103-i simt parfumul inconfundabil al&#8230; pielii, \u00een timp ce ea urc\u0103 \u015fi coboar\u0103 pe bar\u0103. De fiecare dat\u0103, la sf\u00e2r\u015fitul acestui moment de virtuozitate dionisiac\u0103 a\u015f putea s\u0103-i ofer \u015fi eu o bar\u0103 la care s\u0103 fac\u0103 \u015fpagatul \u015fi pariez c\u0103 ar \u0163ine-o la fel de bine, scuza\u0163i aluzia de o moralitate \u00eendoielnic\u0103.<br \/>\nDar nu are cum s\u0103 nu \u0163i se \u00eendoaie moralitatea c\u00e2nd contempli fiin\u0163a plin\u0103 de dulce chemare la p\u0103cat \u015fi de je ne sais quoi a acestei opere de art\u0103 cu buletin care e domni\u015foara \u015eaizeci \u015fi Nou\u0103. Fata asta n-ar merita dec\u00e2t ambrozie, nectar \u015fi alte lichide zeie\u015fti, \u00een nici un caz noroiul greu \u015fi coroziv al insultelor pe nedrept aduse.<br \/>\nDomnule primar, sunt un b\u0103rbat serios \u00een esen\u0163\u0103. Tot ce \u00eemi doresc \u00een aceast\u0103 via\u0163\u0103 este ca acest \u00eenger nevinovat cu ciorapi de plas\u0103 s\u0103-mi d\u0103ruiasc\u0103 \u00eentr-o bun\u0103 zi extazul \u015fi voluptatea unui \u201eda\u201d \u00een fa\u0163a dumneavoastr\u0103, cu semn\u0103tur\u0103 \u00een registrul st\u0103rii civile. Sau dac\u0103 nu se hot\u0103r\u0103\u015fte p\u00e2n\u0103 v\u0103 expir\u0103 mandatul, pentru c\u0103, din nefericire, domni\u015foara \u015eaizeci \u015fi Nou\u0103 este genul u\u015for de confuzat \u015fi sunt mul\u0163i care fac orice s\u0103-i distrag\u0103 aten\u0163ia de la sufletul meu plin de iubire, \u00eemi doresc s\u0103 \u00eemi zic\u0103 \u201eDA\u201d \u00een fa\u0163a succesorului dvs. de peste ani&#8230;, \u015fi ani&#8230;, \u015fi ani.<br \/>\nDomnule primar, dragostea e un lucru mare care leag\u0103 dou\u0103 inimi foarte tare. De aceea v\u0103 rog, pedepsi\u0163i aspru orice insult\u0103 la adresa femeii care, poate m\u00e2ine, poate poim\u00e2ine, poate peste zece ani sau chiar dou\u0103zeci, va deveni mama copiilor mei \u015fi matroana dinastiei Calafat-R\u0103d\u0103u\u0163eanu-\u015eaizeci-\u015fi-Nou\u0103.<br \/>\nDac\u0103 o apuc\u0103 menopauza \u00eenainte s\u0103 ajungem aici, nu reprezint\u0103 o problem\u0103, noi put\u00e2nd adopta.<br \/>\nCu nespus\u0103 stim\u0103 \u015fi respect,<br \/>\nSemnat indescifrabil. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Episoadele precedente: 1. 2. 3. Tema: \u00centr-o noapte, \u00eentr-o c\u00e2rcium\u0103 are loc un scandal. Varia\u0163iunile: \u00cen cele ce urmeaz\u0103, vom urm\u0103ri reclama\u0163iile mai multor&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10651,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11380","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/pana.jpg?fit=2800%2C2463&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11380","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11380"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11380\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11381,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11380\/revisions\/11381"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10651"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11380"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11380"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11380"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}