Ieri, am b\u0103ut o cafea cu un coleg care este momentan victima unui divor\u0163 cu urlete, strig\u0103te \u015fi r\u0103gete. Nu ale lui, ale nevestei. Nevasta \u00eei repro\u015feaz\u0103, printre altele, c\u0103 nu era bun s\u0103 schimbe \u0163evi, s\u0103 sparg\u0103 pere\u0163i \u015fi s\u0103 dea cu trafaletele, activit\u0103\u0163i preponderent masculine. De\u015fi omul c\u00e2\u015ftig\u0103 ni\u015fte mii de euro pe lun\u0103 \u015fi pl\u0103tea meseria\u015fi s\u0103 fac\u0103 toate acestea, deci numita nevast\u0103 nu r\u0103m\u00e2nea ne\u0163evuit\u0103 \u015fi netrafaletat\u0103.
\nBa dimpotriv\u0103, nu se compar\u0103 finisajul \u015fi aspectul impecabil al unei lucr\u0103ri profesioniste cu alura de \u00eenjghebare patetic\u0103 a unei improviza\u0163ii f\u0103cute cum d\u0103 bunul Dumnezeu cu mila.
\nL-am calmat:
\n“Fratele meu alb, afl\u0103 la sora ta neagr\u0103 \u00een cerul gurii c\u0103 exist\u0103 dou\u0103 tipologii de oameni. Bun, exist\u0103 multe tipologii de oameni, dar acestea pot fi \u00eencadrate \u00een dou\u0103 tipuri de mentalitate. Cea de aristocrat \u015fi cea de meltean.
\nAristocratul \u015ftie c\u0103 se pricepe s\u0103 fac\u0103 anumite lucruri, \u015fi pe acestea le face la perfec\u0163ie. Ce nu \u015ftie s\u0103 fac\u0103, deleg\u0103 \u015fi r\u0103spl\u0103te\u015fte generos.
\nMelteanul calculeaz\u0103 totul \u00een via\u0163\u0103 \u00een func\u0163ie de zeul lui: petul de Bucegi la doi litri. Dac\u0103 are de pl\u0103tit un serviciu, se g\u00e2nde\u015fte \u00een inima lui la c\u00e2te peturi de Bucegi, sau dac\u0103 e femeie, la c\u00e2te perechi de dresuri de 15 den trebuie s\u0103 renun\u0163e pentru asta, \u015fi inima lui mic\u0103 \u015fi neagr\u0103 se face instant zg\u00e2rci.”
\n“P\u0103i da”, zice \u0103la, “dar eu \u00eei d\u0103deam bani s\u0103-\u015fi ia ciorapi s\u0103-\u015fi bage \u015fi-n…”
\n“Nu \u00een\u0163elegi. Nu conteaz\u0103. Melteanul poate fi \u00eenmorm\u00e2ntat \u00een peturi de bere Bucegi \u015fi \u00een ciorapi de 15 den. Cele dup\u0103 care o s\u0103 sufere cu adev\u0103rat sunt cele pe care le pierde \u00een urma faptului c\u0103-\u0163i pl\u0103te\u015fte \u0163ie un serviciu. Acum \u00een\u0163elegi?”
\n“Nu.”
\n“OK, \u00ee\u0163i explic altfel. S\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na trecut\u0103, am dat un status despre salatele orientale pe care mi le-am cump\u0103rat. \u015ei o bun\u0103 parte dintre comentarii au fost pe linia: ‘Da’ ce drag\u0103, tu \/ tu ca femeie nu po\u0163i s\u0103-\u0163i fierbi cartofi, lene\u015fa dracului ordinar\u0103, trebuie s\u0103-\u0163i iei salat\u0103 oriental\u0103 gata f\u0103cut\u0103?’ Nu, nu era din banii lor. Nu \u015fi-ar fi luat ei peturi de bere la doi litri sau ciorapi de 15 den din economia realizat\u0103 de mine. \u015ei chiar \u015fi a\u015fa, au urlat. Au urlat din principiul c\u0103 undeva un pet de bere proast\u0103 a r\u0103mas neb\u0103ut. Pricepi?”
\n“Parc\u0103.”
\n“OK. Nu po\u0163i deprinde un aristocrat s\u0103 g\u00e2ndeasc\u0103 precum un meltean \u015fi nu po\u0163i deprinde un meltean s\u0103 g\u00e2ndeasc\u0103 precum un aristocrat. Pariez c\u0103 \u00een timp ce tu munceai s\u0103-i aduci acas\u0103 un ban \u00een plus, asta te b\u00e2rfea cu vecina de sus c\u0103 n-ai schimbat starterul de la neon”.
\n“De unde te-ai prins?”
\n“Din cunoa\u015ftere de oameni. \u015ei mai \u015ftiu un lucru. C\u0103 divor\u0163ul e cel mai bun lucru care \u0163i se poate \u00eent\u00e2mpla din partea unor astfel de persoane. Fie c\u0103-s b\u0103rba\u0163i, fie c\u0103-s femei.” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ieri, am b\u0103ut o cafea cu un coleg care este momentan victima unui divor\u0163 cu urlete, strig\u0103te \u015fi r\u0103gete. Nu ale lui, ale nevestei....<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11434,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11433","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/manusi.jpg?fit=600%2C600&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11433","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11433"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11433\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11438,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11433\/revisions\/11438"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11434"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11433"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11433"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11433"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}