Zilele astea, bolesc. Pe de o parte, o grip\u0103 ur\u00e2t\u0103, cu febr\u0103 \u015fi muci, \u015fi co\u015ful de gunoi mutat l\u00e2ng\u0103 pat \u015fi devenit co\u015f de baschet pentru batiste de h\u00e2rtie f\u0103cute ghem. Pe de alta, colac peste pup\u0103z\u0103, am \u015fi f\u0103cut o indigestie, \u015fi am o perpetu\u0103 stare de vomat \u00een urm\u0103toarele 4 minute – \u015fti\u0163i grea\u0163a aia intens\u0103 de dinaintea unei runde de dat la ra\u0163e – f\u0103r\u0103 finalizare. Combina\u0163ia e de natur\u0103 s\u0103 dea cu moralul oricui de p\u0103m\u00e2nt.
\nDe c\u00e2nd zac la pat \u015fi meditez la nemurirea sufletului \u015fi la “nu, nu sunt aici, e doar o fa\u0163et\u0103 a unei realit\u0103\u0163i trucate, de fapt e visul meu mahmur dup\u0103 un c\u00e2\u015ftig de milioane de dolari \u00eentr-un cazino din Las Vegas”, mot\u0103nelul \u0103sta minunat, fiin\u0163a asta 50% trup \u015fi 50% miracol a renun\u0163at la pl\u0103cerea de a escalada rafturi \u015fi st\u0103 cuib\u0103rit la pieptul meu. \u00ce\u015fi \u015fi lipe\u015fte capul, ca un copil \u00een c\u0103utare de iubire matern\u0103. Sau \u00ee\u015fi schimb\u0103 pozi\u0163ia: se pune cu capul pe pern\u0103, fa\u0163\u0103 \u00een fa\u0163\u0103 cu mine, \u015fi \u00eemi pune o l\u0103bu\u0163\u0103 pe obraz.
\nGenul \u0103sta de compasiune mut\u0103, dar profund\u0103, specific animalelor de companie, face mai mult pentru s\u0103n\u0103tatea mea dec\u00e2t un sac de pastile. E dovada unei inteligen\u0163e emo\u0163ionale pe care noi, oamenii, n-o putem egala nici s\u0103 vrem. \u00cen fond, cum reac\u0163ion\u0103m noi c\u00e2nd cineva apropiat e bolnav? <\/p>\n
a) Scoatem arsenalul de arogan\u0163\u0103 <\/p>\n
“Dar ce-ai f\u0103cut, drag\u0103, de-ai ajuns \u00een halul \u0103sta? Ai dormit f\u0103r\u0103 chilo\u0163i pe tine? De c\u00e2te ori \u0163i-am zis s\u0103 te \u00eembraci, dar tu umbli numa-n curul gol, de parc\u0103 ai vrea s\u0103 atragi aten\u0163ia \u00eentregii planete”.
\nUltimul lucru de care are nevoie un om bolnav e s-o arzi tu cu “\u0163i-am zis io”. Mai bine \u00ee\u0163i bagi arogan\u0163ele \u00een cur \u015fi pleci. <\/p>\n
b) Minimaliz\u0103m problema. <\/p>\n
“Las\u0103, drag\u0103, c\u0103 se mai \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103. Nu e\u015fti singurul om bolnav de pe p\u0103m\u00e2nt”.
\nAsta era versiunea lui taic\u0103-meu \u015fi, \u00eenainte s\u0103 divor\u0163eze de mama, am auzit-o de c\u00e2teva ori. Mam\u0103, c\u00e2t \u00eel uram la fazele astea. Vezi un om c\u0103 se zv\u00e2rcole\u015fte de r\u0103u. Probabil c\u0103 pe scar\u0103 planetar\u0103, e ceva insignifiant. \u015ei totu\u015fi, nu e cazul s\u0103-i fluturi statistica pe la nas exact atunci. N-o s\u0103-l faci s\u0103 zic\u0103: dar chiar! Deja m\u0103 simt mai bine.
\nO s\u0103-l faci s\u0103 te du\u015fm\u0103neasc\u0103 t\u0103cut \u015fi cu furie. <\/p>\n
c) \u00cel sufoc\u0103m cu grija.
\n“Ce s\u0103-\u0163i fac? Vrei ceai? Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nci? Totu\u015fi, ar trebui s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nci ceva. N-ai m\u00e2ncat dec\u00e2t dou\u0103 mere toat\u0103 ziua. \u00ce\u0163i pun ni\u015fte muzic\u0103? Deschid fereastra? O \u00eenchid? Ni\u015fte sex oral?”
\nNu, frate. Taci pur \u015fi simplu. Am \u00een\u0163eles, te preocup \u015fi e minunat. Dar m\u0103 stresezi mai r\u0103u dec\u00e2t m\u0103 streseaz\u0103 bolile \u015fi nici nu pot s\u0103 m\u00e2r\u00e2i la tine, c\u0103 m-a\u015f sim\u0163i o ingrat\u0103 nenorocit\u0103. <\/p>\n
De aceea spun: compasiunea mut\u0103 \u015fi intim\u0103 a pisicii mele e asisten\u0163a ideal\u0103 \u015fi \u00eei mul\u0163umesc lui Dumnezeu c\u0103 mi-a scos \u00een cale acest miracol cotidian: animalele de companie. Pentru c\u0103 oamenii sunt pur \u015fi simplu \u00eengrozitori c\u00e2nd nu e\u015fti \u00een forma perfect\u0103. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Zilele astea, bolesc. Pe de o parte, o grip\u0103 ur\u00e2t\u0103, cu febr\u0103 \u015fi muci, \u015fi co\u015ful de gunoi mutat l\u00e2ng\u0103 pat \u015fi devenit co\u015f...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11153,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11492","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/pis.jpg?fit=1600%2C900&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11492","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11492"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11492\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11493,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11492\/revisions\/11493"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11153"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11492"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11492"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11492"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}