{"id":11599,"date":"2016-11-04T11:24:43","date_gmt":"2016-11-04T08:24:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=11599"},"modified":"2016-11-04T11:24:43","modified_gmt":"2016-11-04T08:24:43","slug":"o-mie-si-una-de-pofte","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/o-mie-si-una-de-pofte\/","title":{"rendered":"O mie \u015fi una de pofte"},"content":{"rendered":"

Contrar mitului, nu toate femeile sunt disperate s\u0103 fac\u0103 cump\u0103r\u0103turi lungi. Unele avem o schem\u0103 clar\u0103 \u00een cap, structurat\u0103 pe raioane \u015fi optimizat\u0103 pe scurt\u0103turi, \u00een zece minute am adunat tot ce ne trebuia, mai suduim la cas\u0103 c\u0103 mereu ne punem la coada mai scurt\u0103 \u015fi mereu nimerim dup\u0103 cucoana care nu-\u015fi g\u0103se\u015fte cardul, dup\u0103 hipsterul care vrea exact marca independent\u0103 de \u0163ig\u0103ri care nu e de g\u0103sit \u015fi care t\u00e2nje\u015fte lung \u015fi languros \u00eentreb\u00e2ndu-\u015fi chakrele ce \u0163ig\u0103ri mai lume\u015fti ar fuma, totu\u015fi, dup\u0103 pi\u0163ipoanca falimentar\u0103 la mate care are mereu ceva de dat \u00eenapoi c\u0103 nu-i ajung banii – “Pazaa! Paza! Stornare la domni\u015foara!” \u015fi dup\u0103 cuplul cu doi copii care uit\u0103 c\u0103 mai voiau \u015fi l\u0103ptic cu ciocol\u0103\u0163ic\u0103, \u015fi tati du-te tu mai adu dou\u0103 cutii, c\u0103 fata sigur \u00een\u0163elege, nu, fat\u0103? <\/p>\n

\u00cen tot acest timp, tu te ui\u0163i la coada lung\u0103 pe care ai evitat-o \u015fi vezi cum oamenii a\u015feza\u0163i deodat\u0103 cu tine p\u0103r\u0103sesc deja incinta, \u00ee\u015fi g\u0103sesc jum\u0103tatea, se \u00eensoar\u0103, pleac\u0103 \u00een luna de miere la Mallorca, se \u00eentorc din luna de miere, iar tu e\u015fti tot la coada scurt\u0103. <\/p>\n

OK, am divagat. Ce vreau s\u0103 spun c\u0103 unele chiar facem cump\u0103r\u0103turi de\u015ftepte, structurate clar \u015fi cu sens.
\nAsta p\u00e2n\u0103 vine perioada fericit\u0103 a lunii. <\/p>\n

\u015ei intri \u00een supermarket:
\n“A\u015faaaaaaa a\u015f m\u00e2nca cevaaaaaaa bun.” <\/p>\n

Vezi la promo\u0163ie maionez\u0103 la borcan \u015fi mix de fructe uscate. Marf\u0103\u0103\u0103. Te \u015fi imaginezi amestec\u00e2ndu-le \u015fi devor\u00e2nd rezultatul cu polonicul. \u015ei dac\u0103 tot treci pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 maionez\u0103, vezi \u015fi borcanul vecin, de pesto autentic. Mmmm, paste. Fierbin\u0163i, aburinde, catifelate, \u00eenv\u0103luite \u00een pesto. Se bag\u0103 \u00een co\u015f. <\/p>\n

Gem de m\u0103ce\u015fee??? \u00ce\u0163i aminte\u015fti de copil\u0103rie, c\u00e2nd bunic\u0103-ta \u00ee\u0163i ungea gem de m\u0103ce\u015fe pe p\u00e2ine, cu lapte cald. Poft\u0103 poft\u0103 poft\u0103. Dar iei graham integral, s\u0103 nu te \u00eengra\u015fi. \u015ei un borcan de gem de zmeur\u0103, c\u0103 scrie pe el bio \u015fi e important s\u0103 ai aport de fructe pe mas\u0103. <\/p>\n

Opaaa. Raionul patiserie tocmai a produs pl\u0103cinte cu mere \u015fi parfumeaz\u0103 \u00eemprejurimile \u015fi \u00eemprejur\u0103rile? V\u0103 rog, patru buc\u0103\u0163i! Dar s\u0103 fie… cinci.
\nAmandineeee. Nu, c\u0103 amandinele \u00eengra\u015f\u0103. Dar sunt buuuneee. Dar \u00eengra\u015f\u0103. Biiine, te duci la sal\u0103 mai des dup\u0103 ce-\u0163i trece ciclul. <\/p>\n

Stai, c\u0103 arde! Cum era s\u0103 trec eu pe la raionul pe\u015fte f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eenha\u0163 o salat\u0103 de icre? \u015ei dac\u0103 tot sunt aici, hai \u015fi ni\u015fte hering somonizat. \u015ei o salat\u0103 de ton cu porumb. Ahhhh, sarmaleee. Parc\u0103 ai promis c\u0103 te vegetarianizezi la loc. Sigur. Doar s\u0103-mi treac\u0103 zilele astea. Acum tot ce m\u0103 rog la Dumnezeu e ca sarmalele astea c\u0103 fie porcos \u015fi nesim\u0163it de grase. <\/p>\n

\u015ei castrave\u0163i mura\u0163i. \u015ei \u00eenghe\u0163at\u0103 de caramel. \u015ei pache\u0163ele de prim\u0103var\u0103 congelate. \u015ei ficat de pui. E important s\u0103-\u0163i regenerezi fierul zilele astea. \u015ei nuci caju. \u015ei sfecl\u0103 ro\u015fie la borcan. \u015ei humus. \u015ei vinete f\u0103r\u0103 maionez\u0103. Remember, maioneza ai luat-o separat. \u015ei cartofi, unt \u015fi m\u0103rar, c\u0103 parc\u0103 ai m\u00e2nca. \u015ei stima\u0163i cump\u0103r\u0103tori, v\u0103 anun\u0163\u0103m c\u0103 magazinul se va \u00eenchide. V\u0103 rug\u0103m s\u0103 v\u0103 \u00eendrepta\u0163i spre case. <\/p>\n

Futu-i, eu de fapt cobor\u00e2sem s\u0103-i iau nisip motanului, \u00ee\u0163i aminte\u015fti tu la cas\u0103 \u015fi te ui\u0163i seduc\u0103tor spre tanti obosit\u0103 \u015fi stresat\u0103 din spatele t\u0103u.
\n-V\u0103 rooog, da\u0163i-mi voie s\u0103 mai iau un sac de nisip. V\u0103 rog. Am cea mai frumoas\u0103 pisic\u0103 din lume.
\n-Biine.
\n\u015ei dac\u0103 tot te-ai dus, \u00eenha\u0163i \u015fi o sticl\u0103 de vin ro\u015fu sec. Ba nu, dou\u0103. Trebuie s\u0103-\u0163i regenerezi fierul.
\nAh, dar sta\u0163i c\u0103 am uitat ceva.
\nO cutie de cola zero. <\/p>\n

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Contrar mitului, nu toate femeile sunt disperate s\u0103 fac\u0103 cump\u0103r\u0103turi lungi. Unele avem o schem\u0103 clar\u0103 \u00een cap, structurat\u0103 pe raioane \u015fi optimizat\u0103 pe...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11600,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11599","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/detoate.jpg?fit=634%2C460&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11599","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11599"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11599\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11602,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11599\/revisions\/11602"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11600"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11599"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11599"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11599"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}