{"id":11780,"date":"2025-12-05T09:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-12-05T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=11780"},"modified":"2025-12-05T14:55:13","modified_gmt":"2025-12-05T11:55:13","slug":"bataie-de-mos-nicolae","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/bataie-de-mos-nicolae\/","title":{"rendered":"Ai m\u00e2ncat b\u0103taie de Mo\u015f Nicolae?"},"content":{"rendered":"

C\u00e2nd eram noi mici, Mo\u015f Nicolae era un precursor ceva mai simpatic al lui Mo\u015f Cr\u0103ciun. Asta pentru c\u0103 Mo\u015f Nicolae nu avea preten\u0163ii de colinde, rug\u0103ciuni \u015fi alte adun\u0103turi random de vorbe. Logic, c\u0103 nu, doar era S\u0103get\u0103tor, 5 decembrie e \u00eenc\u0103 zodia noastr\u0103, iar S\u0103get\u0103torul ur\u0103\u015fte cu bulbuci vorba lung\u0103 \u015fi neproductiv\u0103.
\u00cen al doilea r\u00e2nd, Mo\u015f Nicolae avea un obicei frumos, s\u0103 ne aduc\u0103 dulciuri, adic\u0103 ceea ce ne pl\u0103cea \u00een via\u0163\u0103. Mo\u015f Cr\u0103ciun ne aducea haine, care pe atunci nu ni se p\u0103reau cadouri, ci lucruri necesare, \u0219i evident plicticoase. Dac\u0103 era dup\u0103 noi, copiii, am fi putut umbla \u015fi goi pe strad\u0103, doar s\u0103 nu fie frig. Hainele \u015fi \u00eenc\u0103l\u0163\u0103mintea erau un mod detestabil de a rezolva rapid \u015fi cu zero bucurii Cr\u0103ciunul.
De asemenea, ne-am prins relativ repede c\u0103 nici unul dintre mo\u015fii \u0103\u015ftia nu exist\u0103. Sherlock Holmes-ul a fost fratele meu, care avea obiceiul \u0103sta absolut securist \u015fi terorist de a inspecta nonstop dulapuri \u015fi sertare \u015fi de a spoil\u0103ri cu dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni \u00eenainte ce o s\u0103 primim. \u0218tiam dinainte c\u0103 nu e nimic interesant de Cr\u0103ciun, dar ne pl\u0103cea s\u0103 fur\u0103m bomboanele din pom, apoi s\u0103 aranj\u0103m ambalajul s\u0103 par\u0103 plin. Mari spume pe adul\u021bii no\u0219tri, c\u00e2nd \u00eencercau s\u0103 testeze bomboanele \u0219i nu g\u0103seau niciuna.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Rewind: eu la patru ani. Uram un singur obicei al lui Mo\u015f Nicolae: creanga de copac tras\u0103 \u00een staniol. Dintr-un motiv care acum \u00eemi scap\u0103, le primeam an de an. Ur\u00e2te cu spume. Necomestibile. Unica lor utilizare era b\u0103taia.<\/p>\n

Eram triggered \u00eenainte ca triggeringul s\u0103 fie o mod\u0103.<\/p>\n

P\u0103i plm, eu eram un copil introvertit cum sunt \u015fi acum, ce s\u0103 ba\u0163i la mine c\u0103 nu f\u0103ceam nimic. Ba f\u0103ceam. Nu admiteam s\u0103 fiu admonestat\u0103 pe nedrept \u015fi d\u0103deam ni\u015fte replici de te durea mintea. Ba chiar f\u0103ceam contabilitatea tuturor cuvintelor nedrepte \u015fi a loviturilor care mi s-au administrat. Planul era s\u0103 m\u0103 fac mare, s\u0103 m\u0103 mut de acas\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 le scot pe nas alor mei fiecare nedreptate. De fapt stai, asta am \u015fi f\u0103cut. Christina Ricci din familia Addams era o dulce p\u0103pu\u015f\u0103 Barbie pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 mine, dac\u0103 m\u0103 b\u0103teai pe nedrept. \u015ei pe bune, sem\u0103nam fizic cu ea. Mai grav, c\u00e2nd am v\u0103zut familia Addams, m-am \u00eentrebat c\u00e2nd Dumnezeu m-au r\u0103pit \u0103\u015ftia de la mama \u015fi m-au distribuit \u00een film.<\/p>\n

Bun. Dar la patru ani, am avut o pas\u0103 de sociabilitate \u015fi o \u00eencercare de negociere. I-am luat pe ai mei:
-Trebuie neap\u0103rat s\u0103-mi aduc\u0103 mo\u015f Nicolae b\u0103\u0163 an de an?
-Trebuie.
-De ce?
\u00cen loc s\u0103 \u00eemi dea r\u0103spunsul real \u015fi anume, fata noastr\u0103, avem \u00een s\u00e2nge kitschul provincial rom\u00e2nesc, deci tot ce sclipe\u015fte frumos \u015fi are staniol e fe\u0219\u0103n, a dat naiba s\u0103 zic\u0103.
-Pentru c\u0103 nu e\u015fti cuminte.
-Bun, am zis eu. Anul \u0103sta o s\u0103 fiu cuminte. Sper s\u0103 nu v\u0103d b\u0103\u0163ul anul viitor.
\u015ei \u00eentre patru \u015fi cinci ani, am fost un \u00eenger. Tot ce mi-au spus, am f\u0103cut. Indiferent ce prostii emanau, t\u0103ceam \u015fi nu reac\u0163ionam. A fost un an greu \u015fi crunt, dar a meritat.
5 decembrie. Mi-am \u015fters frumos ghetu\u0163a, am lustruit-o lun\u0103 \u015fi am pus-o \u00een fereastr\u0103. A\u015fteptam premiul cuvenit pentru comportamentul de \u00eenger. Absen\u0163a b\u0103\u0163ului.
Dar ghinion, tot sclipiciul \u015fi kitschul erau norma.
“Vaaai, a venit mo\u015ful. S\u0103 vedem ce v-a adus!”
M-am apropiat de ghetu\u0163\u0103. \u015ei mi s-au umplut ochii de lacrimi. Nici nu m-a interesat ce e \u00een\u0103untru. Am v\u0103zut c\u0103 b\u0103\u0163ul se i\u0163ea victorios \u015fi dominant.
“Ce caut\u0103 \u0103sta aici? La c\u00e2t de cuminte am fost?”
“P\u0103\u0103\u0103i”, a dat-o bunic\u0103-mea la sucit, “poate nu ai fost \u00eendeajuns de cuminte!”
“Pe bune?”
Am ie\u015fit din camer\u0103.
“Dar nu te intereseaz\u0103 ce \u0163i-a mai adus mo\u015ful?”
“D\u0103-i-le lui frati-miu. Eu NU meritam b\u0103\u0163ul \u0103sta.”
“De ce trebuie mereu s\u0103 exagerezi?”, a \u00eenceput bunic\u0103-mea, care era \u015fi ea drama queen ca mine.
“Exa… ce? Eu nu meritam b\u0103\u0163ul \u0103sta! Am fost cuminte! S\u0103-\u015fi ia mo\u015ful cadourile \u015fi s\u0103 nu-mi aduc\u0103 nimic niciodat\u0103!”<\/p>\n

\u015ei a\u015fa am ajuns eu criminal \u00een serie.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Glumesc. Realitatea e c\u0103 da, anul \u0103la, fratele meu a cr\u0103pat \u00een el por\u0163ie dubl\u0103 de dulciuri, pentru c\u0103 eu voiam foarte tare s\u0103 subliniez ideea c\u0103 nu meritam b\u0103\u0163ul \u015fi atunci nu m-am atins de nimic din pachet. Partea pozitiv\u0103 e c\u0103 anul viitor, lupta de clas\u0103 a dat rezultate. N-am primit b\u0103\u0163. Dar nici el.
Moment \u00een care m-am \u00eentrebat dac\u0103 e cazul s\u0103 mai fac o grev\u0103, c\u0103 unul dintre noi chiar a luptat pentru demnitate \u015fi virtute, iar cel\u0103lalt doar a profitat de efortul sindical \u0219i de por\u021bia dubl\u0103 de dulciuri.<\/p>\n

Dar anul \u0103la aveam \u00een pachet ni\u015fte ciocolate nem\u0163e\u015fti delicioase, \u015fi am decis c\u0103 nu merit\u0103.
\u015ei a\u015fa am ajuns progresist\u0103 woke de la 4 ani. \u201eJos abuzul, jos \u00eenc\u0103lcarea drepturilor omului.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

“\u015ei totu\u015fi, fratele t\u0103u avea un mod foarte simplu de a rezolva b\u0103\u0163ul din pachet. \u00cel d\u0103dea la o parte \u015fi at\u00e2t. Tu?”<\/strong>
Eu nu suportam ideea c\u0103 cineva din afar\u0103 – Mo\u015f Nicolae, adic\u0103 – \u00eemi transmite cu un b\u0103\u0163 c\u0103 m\u0103 consider\u0103 insuficient de cuminte. Poate n-o explicam at\u00e2t de coerent pe atunci, dar b\u0103\u0163ul \u0103la m\u0103 jignea cumplit. Era ca o urare de mor\u0163i de mam\u0103 de ziua ta. \u00cemi ucidea petrecerea.
Pe scurt, nu trebuie s\u0103 vin\u0103 meritocra\u0163ia, feminismul, libertarianismul \u015fi altele asemenea s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i spun\u0103 c\u0103 ai drepturi. Unii ne na\u015ftem direct activi\u0219ti \ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da follow pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi pe TikTok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00ce\u021bi place s\u0103 cite\u0219ti aceste articole? Po\u021bi ajuta \u00een mod direct la scrierea lor. Iat\u0103 cum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

C\u00e2nd eram noi mici, Mo\u015f Nicolae era un precursor ceva mai simpatic al lui Mo\u015f Cr\u0103ciun. Asta pentru c\u0103 Mo\u015f Nicolae nu avea preten\u0163ii...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":27296,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11780","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/lol.png?fit=940%2C788&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11780","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11780"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11780\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27297,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11780\/revisions\/27297"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/27296"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11780"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11780"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11780"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}