{"id":11936,"date":"2017-02-25T10:38:20","date_gmt":"2017-02-25T07:38:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=11936"},"modified":"2017-02-25T10:41:53","modified_gmt":"2017-02-25T07:41:53","slug":"ma-foloseste-ca-pe-un-obiect","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/ma-foloseste-ca-pe-un-obiect\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;M\u0103 folose\u015fte ca pe un obiect&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Aud fraza asta \u00eengrijor\u0103tor de des. Mai grav, am trecut \u015fi eu prin situa\u0163ii de genul, \u00een via\u0163\u0103, numai c\u0103 eu am trecut ca acceleratul prin gara D\u00e2rste. Observ din primele zece secunde cam care e poezioara \u015fi cam care e paleta de posibilit\u0103\u0163i \u015fi m\u0103 prind cu cine ai ce discuta \u015fi cu cine nu.<\/p>\n<p>Trec\u00e2nd peste asta, multor femei li se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 s\u0103 le plac\u0103 un tip \u015fi s\u0103 aib\u0103 senza\u0163ia c\u0103 sunt utilizate strict ca m\u00e2ner de care s\u0103 se \u0163in\u0103 b\u0103iatul c\u00e2nd d\u0103 la rame, pentru c\u0103 e sport periculos \u015fi risc\u0103 s\u0103 cad\u0103. Ce po\u0163i face s\u0103 evi\u0163i ipostaza?<\/p>\n<p><strong>A) Impune respect.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u015etii c\u00e2ntecelul \u0103la cu &#8220;I don&#8217;t care about your personality \/ And I don&#8217;t care about your college degree \/ And I can&#8217;t shove my fist into your childhood dreams \/ So why do you share all this information with me?&#8221;<\/p>\n<div class=\"video-container\"><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"700\" height=\"394\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/qqXi8WmQ_WM?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/div>\n<p>OK, c\u00e2ntecelul e o parodie, dar citeaz\u0103 exact atitudinea pe care NU trebuie s-o tolerezi pentru nimic \u00een lume, din partea nim\u0103nui. Oric\u00e2t te-ai sim\u0163i de singur\u0103, oric\u00e2t de goal\u0103 ar fi casa, oric\u00e2t \u0163i-ar tic\u0103i aiurea ceasul biologic, NU te compl\u0103cea \u00een interac\u0163iuni abuzive sau umilitoare. Dac\u0103 un om nu te poate trata cu aten\u0163ie, considera\u0163ie \u015fi afec\u0163iune, pa\u015fol na turbinca. <\/p>\n<p><strong>B) Nu s\u0103ri repede \u00een pat.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Sau s\u0103ri, dac\u0103 vrei pur \u015fi simplu c\u00e2teva nop\u0163i de sex. Dac\u0103 ai problema cu &#8220;tratamentul de obiect&#8221;, e clar c\u0103 nu e\u015fti genul one night stand \u015fi o s\u0103 suferi dac\u0103 nu te caut\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>B\u0103rba\u0163ii sunt fiin\u0163e pragmatice. Nu stau s\u0103 se g\u00e2ndeasc\u0103 c\u0103 omul care le spal\u0103 ma\u015fina are vise \u015fi speran\u0163e, c\u0103 dentistul are o via\u0163\u0103 interioar\u0103 \u015fi c\u0103 tanti care-i penseaz\u0103 are un suflet. Ei compartimenteaz\u0103. Se duc &#8220;la sp\u0103lat ma\u015fina&#8221;, &#8220;la dentist&#8221;, &#8220;la pensat&#8221; \u015fi &#8220;la futut&#8221;. Scopuri simple, practice.<\/p>\n<p>Dac\u0103 tu vrei s\u0103 fii altceva dec\u00e2t &#8220;la futut&#8221;, mut\u0103-l pe om \u00een friendzone. Un tip care vrea s\u0103 \u0163i-o trag\u0103 tinde s\u0103 se concentreze pe ce vrea de la tine. Friendzone-ul presupune s\u0103-\u0163i cunoasc\u0103 nevoile \u015fi s\u0103 se concentreze pe ele. Apoi, c\u00e2nd vezi c\u0103 a \u00een\u0163eles cine e\u015fti \u015fi ce-\u0163i dore\u015fti, po\u0163i s\u0103-l sco\u0163i din friendzone.<\/p>\n<p>Unii, concentra\u0163i strict pe &#8220;la futut&#8221;, o s\u0103 se care. E dovada vie c\u0103 oricum nu te pl\u0103ceau cine \u015ftie c\u00e2t de tare, drept care, m\u0103car ai evitat un act sexual mediocru.<\/p>\n<p><strong>C) Spune-i omului ce vrei.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Sunt rari b\u0103rba\u0163ii extrem de intuitivi, care \u00ee\u0163i ghicesc visele \u015fi nevoile. Miraculo\u015fi, dar foarte rari. Your average Joe are nevoi simple \u015fi crede c\u0103 \u015fi tu la fel. Dac\u0103 nu exist\u0103 o conversa\u0163ie l\u0103muritoare, o s\u0103 i se par\u0103 c\u0103 a veni de dou\u0103 ori pe s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 la tine acas\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nce, s\u0103 \u0163i-o trag\u0103 \u015fi, \u00een rest, nimic, e o rela\u0163ie ideal\u0103 \u015fi perfect func\u0163ional\u0103. Drept care, dac\u0103 vrei ceva, cere. Cere pe un ton simplu, normal, cu cuvinte pu\u0163ine, dar cere hot\u0103r\u00e2t \u015fi cu explica\u0163ii preg\u0103tite, \u00een caz c\u0103 le cere. <\/p>\n<p>Ca mic test, recomand s\u0103-i ceri lucruri \u00eenainte s\u0103-i cedezi, s\u0103 nu permi\u0163i s\u0103 se creeze rutina \u00een care numai tu livrezi. Vei descoperi repede c\u00e2t de mult e dispus s\u0103 te asculte \u015fi c\u00e2t de dornic e s\u0103-\u0163i fac\u0103 pe plac. \u015ei dac\u0103 vezi c\u0103 nu, pa\u015fol na turbinca. <\/p>\n<p>O regul\u0103 bun\u0103 e s\u0103-\u0163i adaptezi disponibilitatea fa\u0163\u0103 de tip la disponibilitatea tipului fa\u0163\u0103 de tine. &#8220;Dar \u00eel iubeeesc&#8221;. Tocmai pentru c\u0103 \u00eel iube\u015fti. Iubirea ta e un sentiment nobil \u015fi nimeni nu are dreptul s\u0103 se \u015ftearg\u0103 la cur cu ea.<\/p>\n<p><strong>D) F\u0103-l s\u0103-\u015fi asume responsabilit\u0103\u0163i\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Nu \u00eencerca s\u0103 dregi busuiocul pentru el. Te \u00eent\u00e2mpin\u0103 cu un dezastru neanun\u0163at? Nu s\u0103ri ca o mam\u0103 clo\u015fc\u0103 bun\u0103 s\u0103-l iei pe pui\u015for sub arip\u0103. Prive\u015fte-l rece \u00een ochi \u015fi \u00eentreab\u0103-l: &#8220;OK. Ce propui?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;OK, ce propui?&#8221; e o modalitate minunat\u0103 de a-l obi\u015fnui pe om c\u0103 sunt treburi de care e cazul s\u0103 se ocupe el. C\u0103 nu e\u015fti m\u0103-sa care l-a pierdut la na\u015ftere, ci un om ale c\u0103rui necesit\u0103\u0163i conteaz\u0103 la fel de mult ca ale lui.<\/p>\n<p><strong>E) Pretinde-i cu fermitate sus\u0163inere\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Orice ini\u0163iativ\u0103 are el, tu e\u015fti mereu pozitiv\u0103 \u015fi sus\u0163in\u0103toare. Ca femeia. C\u00e2nd ai tu ini\u0163iative, adeseori descoperi c\u0103 nici nu te ascult\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Nu da ochii tragic peste cap, nu te \u00eenchide \u00een tine, spune-i c\u0103 sus\u0163inerea lui conteaz\u0103 \u015fi cere-i ferm s\u0103-\u0163i fie al\u0103turi. Un b\u0103rbat care \u0163ine la tine va fi \u00eenduio\u015fat. Unul indiferent se va da de gol.<\/p>\n<p><strong>F) Nu dramatiza.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u015etii pis\u0103logeala lung\u0103, neamuzant\u0103, pe un ton monoton, \u00een timpul c\u0103ruia lui \u00eei fuge g\u00e2ndul la orice altceva?<\/p>\n<p>\u00cencearc\u0103 s-o tai la montaj \u015fi s\u0103-i spui direct concluzia. Ai mai multe \u015fanse s\u0103 &#8220;make a point&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p><strong>G) Dac\u0103-i repro\u015fezi momentele \u00een care e bou, exprim\u0103 \u015fi apreciere pentru momentele \u00een care face ceva bine.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Multe femei rateaz\u0103 rela\u0163ii exact din cauza asta. Tipul cu care sunt \u00eencearc\u0103 s\u0103 le fac\u0103 pe plac, \u015fi e \u00eent\u00e2mpinat cu dezaprobare \u015fi ironii.<\/p>\n<p>C\u00e2nd prime\u015fti ce-\u0163i doreai, n-o contabiliza drept &#8220;normal, era \u015fi cazul&#8221;. Fii entuziast\u0103 \u015fi fericit\u0103. C\u00e2nd va descoperi c\u0103 e \u00een puterea lui s\u0103 te entuziasmeze \u015fi s\u0103 te bucure, o s\u0103 mai fac\u0103. Dac\u0103 tu \u00eei livrezi perpetuu fa\u0163\u0103 acr\u0103, indiferent de eforturile lui, o s\u0103 renun\u0163e s\u0103 mai \u00eencerce.<\/p>\n<p><strong>H) \u015ei oric\u00e2t ai excela, oric\u00e2t de frumoas\u0103, de\u015fteapt\u0103, campioan\u0103 sportiv\u0103 \u015fi manager de succes ai fi, vei nimeri c\u00e2te un bou care te va trata ca pe un obiect. Pentru c\u0103 nu \u015ftie cum altfel. At\u00e2ta poate \u015fi at\u00e2ta face.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Asigur\u0103-te c\u0103 obiectul \u0103la e un diamant de 24 carate, nu un \u015ferve\u0163el umed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Aud fraza asta \u00eengrijor\u0103tor de des. Mai grav, am trecut \u015fi eu prin situa\u0163ii de genul, \u00een via\u0163\u0103, numai c\u0103 eu am trecut ca&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":12234,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11936","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/doll.jpg?fit=500%2C333&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11936","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11936"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11936\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12236,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11936\/revisions\/12236"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12234"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11936"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11936"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11936"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}