{"id":11972,"date":"2017-01-14T13:21:50","date_gmt":"2017-01-14T10:21:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=11972"},"modified":"2017-01-14T13:32:36","modified_gmt":"2017-01-14T10:32:36","slug":"aceste-clisee-ne-dor-a-avut-o-viata-grea","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/aceste-clisee-ne-dor-a-avut-o-viata-grea\/","title":{"rendered":"Aceste cli\u015fee ne dor: “A avut o via\u0163\u0103 grea”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Periodic, lu\u0103m o afirma\u0163ie pe care o fac frecvent mul\u0163i oameni din jurul nostru \u015fi care se perpetueaz\u0103 cu tupeu, \u00eempotriva oric\u0103rei logici \u015fi a oric\u0103rui adev\u0103r. \u015ei o facem franjuri, pentru c\u0103 \u00een general aceste cli\u015fee stau \u00een calea prop\u0103\u015firii binelui \u00een lume. <\/em><\/p>\n

O prieten\u0103 a mea e \u00een plin divor\u0163. Dar nu se vede pe ea. Radiaz\u0103 de fericire, pare c\u0103 a ren\u0103scut, o poft\u0103 de via\u0163\u0103 interminabil\u0103 \u00eei str\u0103luce\u015fte \u00een ochi \u015fi glume\u015fte irezistibil.
\nAflu c\u0103 idiotul pe care l-a p\u0103r\u0103sit recent avea program zilnic de insulte \u015fi umilin\u0163e la adresa ei, din ur\u00e2t\u0103 \u015fi proast\u0103 n-o scotea, \u00eei aresta salariul din portofel \u015fi o muncea gratis la firma lui. \u015ei totu\u015fi, ea a \u00eendurat acest abuz mai mul\u0163i ani. Scuza? “A avut o via\u0163\u0103 grea \u015fi de aceea se poart\u0103 a\u015fa.”
\nO alt\u0103 fat\u0103 \u015fi-a pus obrazul pentru o jigodie de femeie, c\u00e2nd a fost vorba ca aceasta s\u0103 fie concediat\u0103. La c\u00e2teva luni, \u00een mod misterios, apele s-au \u00eemb\u00e2csit \u00een a\u015fa fel \u00eenc\u00e2t i s-a pus ei \u00een vedere s\u0103 accepte o mic\u015forare semnificativ\u0103 de salariu. Din punct de vedere al carierei, fata a decis corect, \u015fi anume “Da\u0163i-v\u0103-n pula mea, c\u0103 nu m-a\u0163i cump\u0103rat pe pia\u0163a de sclavi.” Uman, e \u00eenc\u0103 prieten\u0103 cu boarfa odioas\u0103. Scuza? “A avut o via\u0163\u0103 grea \u015fi de aceea se poart\u0103 a\u015fa.”
\n“E at\u00e2t de singur\u0103…” \u015ei nu te g\u00e2nde\u015fti c\u0103 e singur\u0103 tocmai pentru c\u0103 e un caracter toxic \u015fi n-o suport\u0103 nimeni? “P\u0103i, da, dar a avut o via\u0163\u0103 grea.” <\/p>\n

Cunosc oameni care au avut vie\u0163i cu adev\u0103rat grele. Oameni care s-au zb\u0103tut \u00eentr-o s\u0103r\u0103cie cumplit\u0103 \u015fi au m\u00e2ncat p\u00e2ine cu mu\u015ftar ani \u00een \u015fir. Tocmai c\u0103 \u00een\u0163eleg s\u0103r\u0103cia. Dau \u015fi c\u0103ma\u015fa de pe ei c\u00e2nd v\u0103d nenorocire.
\nOameni abuza\u0163i de p\u0103rin\u0163i, trata\u0163i ca propriet\u0103\u0163i lipsite de creier \u015fi sensibilitate, “eu te-am f\u0103cut, eu te omor”. Sunt p\u0103rin\u0163i minuna\u0163i pentru copiii lor, tocmai pentru c\u0103 au tr\u0103it pe pielea lor abuzul \u015fi \u015ftiu cum este.
\nCunosc oameni care au func\u0163ii de responsabilitate uria\u015f\u0103, fiecare decizie a lor influen\u0163eaz\u0103 destine de oameni, \u015fi stresul e pe m\u0103sur\u0103. Sunt oamenii cu zero accese de \u015fefie, tocmai pentru c\u0103 \u00een\u0163eleg c\u00e2t e de greu s\u0103 fii \u00eentr-o pozi\u0163ie de for\u0163\u0103. <\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 o via\u0163\u0103 grea are vreun efect asupra unui om, este exact \u0103sta: \u00eei deschide ochii, \u00eel face s\u0103 vad\u0103 mai nuan\u0163at lucrurile \u015fi s\u0103 renun\u0163e la etichet\u0103rile de tip alb \u015fi negru.
\nVarianta corect\u0103 e: “Uite-l pe X, e milionar \u015fi \u00een loc s\u0103 bage cocain\u0103 \u00een Ibiza, sus\u0163ine un orfelinat \u015fi un centru de cercetare a cancerului.” “Da, pentru c\u0103 a avut o via\u0163\u0103 grea \u015fi \u015ftie c\u00e2t de important e pentru oameni \u00een suferin\u0163\u0103 s\u0103 primeasc\u0103 sus\u0163inere.”
\n“Uite-l pe Y, cu c\u00e2t\u0103 iubire \u00ee\u015fi \u00eenconjoar\u0103 so\u0163ia, de\u015fi nu e miss univers.” “Da, pentru c\u0103 a avut o via\u0163\u0103 grea \u015fi \u015ftie s\u0103 aprecieze o femeie bun\u0103 \u015fi iubitoare.”
\nO repet: dac\u0103 via\u0163a grea are vreun efect asupra unui om, e exact acesta: \u00eei deschide ochii \u015fi mintea. \u00cel face s\u0103 \u00een\u0163eleag\u0103 situa\u0163ii de via\u0163\u0103, s\u0103 ajute real \u015fi s\u0103 pun\u0103 un um\u0103r pentru cei care o merit\u0103. <\/p>\n

De aceea m\u0103 enervez crunt pe oamenii naivi, care perpetueaz\u0103 mitul vie\u0163ii grele ca justificare pentru r\u0103utate \u015fi prostie. R\u0103utatea \u015fi prostia sunt native. Ar fi fost acolo chiar dac\u0103 ipochimenul ar fi fost crescut \u00een puf \u015fi hr\u0103nit cu ambrozie \u015fi nectar de nimfe nude toat\u0103 via\u0163a lui. R\u0103utatea \u015fi prostia nu sunt scuzabile niciodat\u0103. Abuzul nu e scuzabil niciodat\u0103. Singura favoare pe care po\u0163i s\u0103 \u0163i-o faci \u0163ie \u00eensu\u0163i sau \u00eens\u0103\u0163i e s\u0103-l tragi la r\u0103spundere pe odios \/ odioas\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103-i ar\u0103\u0163i c\u0103 e\u015fti perfect con\u015ftient de ceea ce face. <\/p>\n

Un om bun \u00een via\u0163a ta e un om c\u0103ruia nu e nevoie s\u0103-i g\u0103se\u015fti scuze \u015fi pretexte pentru modul \u00een care te trateaz\u0103. Se comport\u0103 frumos \u015fi galant pentru c\u0103 \u0103sta e felul lui de a fi \u015fi nu are preten\u0163ia c\u0103-\u0163i face o favoare cu asta. \u00ce\u0163i respect\u0103 nu-urile \u015fi nu st\u0103 s\u0103 for\u0163eze bovin nota. Po\u0163i face parteneriat cu el \u015fi are grij\u0103 s\u0103 ie\u015fi \u015fi tu \u00een c\u00e2\u015ftig, nu doar el. \u015ei desigur, unui om bun \u00eei oferi \u015fi tu toate lucrurile astea, pentru c\u0103 merit\u0103. <\/p>\n

Un b\u0103rbat bun caut\u0103 s\u0103 te \u00eencurajeze \u015fi s\u0103 te sus\u0163in\u0103 s\u0103 te dezvol\u0163i, nu caut\u0103 s\u0103-\u0163i dea \u00een cap \u015fi s\u0103 te f\u0103r\u00e2mi\u0163eze. Te trateaz\u0103 ca pe o persoan\u0103 valoroas\u0103 pentru c\u0103 dac\u0103 n-ai fi, nu \u015fi-ar pierde timpul cu tine. N-a\u0163i g\u0103sit un b\u0103rbat bun? Respecta\u0163i-v\u0103 pe voi \u00eensev\u0103 \u00eendeajuns \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 nu mai face\u0163i compromisuri cu to\u0163i idio\u0163ii. Dar dac\u0103 nimeri\u0163i un om adev\u0103rat, trata\u0163i-l cum merit\u0103 \u015fi cum a\u0163i vrea \u015fi voi s\u0103 fi\u0163i tratate. <\/p>\n

O prieten\u0103 bun\u0103 e discret\u0103, respectuoas\u0103, afectuoas\u0103, \u015fi ce e mai important, po\u0163i vorbi orice cu ea. Te sus\u0163ine \u00een momentele tale proaste \u015fi o sus\u0163ii \u00een momentele ei proaste. \u015etii c\u0103 nu te va judeca niciodat\u0103 cu ochelari de cal, dar \u00ee\u0163i va atrage aten\u0163ia c\u00e2nd o iei pe ar\u0103tur\u0103, \u015fi o va face pentru binele t\u0103u. \u015ei acela\u015fi lucru \u00eel faci \u015fi tu pentru ea. Nici o prieten\u0103 nu are justificare \u00een a fi abuziv\u0103, nesim\u0163it\u0103, insistent\u0103 aiurea sau tr\u0103d\u0103toare \u00een faptul c\u0103 a avut o via\u0163\u0103 grea. E strict chestiune de caracter. <\/p>\n

\u00centr-o rela\u0163ie cu un om bun, fie ea de iubire, prietenie, colegialitate sau chiar \u015fi sex f\u0103r\u0103 obliga\u0163ii, te sim\u0163i confortabil, apreciat, iubit, \u00een\u0163eles. Dac\u0103 nu te sim\u0163i a\u015fa, nu ai de ce s\u0103 mimezi c\u0103 te sim\u0163i, nu ai de ce s\u0103 te min\u0163i pe tine \u015fi pe al\u0163ii \u015fi nu ai de ce s\u0103 tragi inutil de fiin\u0163\u0103 cu pretexte stupide. <\/p>\n

Ai o singur\u0103 via\u0163\u0103, \u015fi e o chestiune de alegeri \u00een\u0163elepte s\u0103 \u0163i-o faci frumoas\u0103 \u015fi \u00eemplinit\u0103. Iar una dintre aceste alegeri e s\u0103 \u0163ii elementele toxice departe. “Dar eu te umilesc c\u0103-\u0163i vreau binele!” Nu exist\u0103 a\u015fa ceva. \u00centr-un fel te ceart\u0103 un om care-\u0163i vrea binele \u015fi \u00een cu totul alt fel un om care caut\u0103 s\u0103 te demoleze \u015fi s\u0103 te minimalizeze. Identifica\u0163i diferen\u0163ele \u015fi \u00eenconjura\u0163i-v\u0103 de oameni, nu de simulacre. <\/p>\n

\u015ei atunci o s\u0103 aib\u0103 jigodiile cu adev\u0103rat o via\u0163\u0103 grea. C\u00e2nd o s\u0103-i evite toat\u0103 lumea de la mare distan\u0163\u0103. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Periodic, lu\u0103m o afirma\u0163ie pe care o fac frecvent mul\u0163i oameni din jurul nostru \u015fi care se perpetueaz\u0103 cu tupeu, \u00eempotriva oric\u0103rei logici \u015fi...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11973,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11972","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/via%C5%A3%C4%83grea.jpg?fit=468%2C324&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11972","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11972"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11972\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11976,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11972\/revisions\/11976"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11973"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11972"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11972"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11972"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}