{"id":11989,"date":"2017-01-17T11:50:24","date_gmt":"2017-01-17T08:50:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=11989"},"modified":"2017-01-17T11:50:24","modified_gmt":"2017-01-17T08:50:24","slug":"cea-mai-deprimanta-zi-din-an","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/cea-mai-deprimanta-zi-din-an\/","title":{"rendered":"Cea mai deprimant\u0103 zi din an"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Not\u0103: Tr\u0103im vremuri frumoase. Vremuri \u00een care toate visele noastre sunt accesibile. Dar pentru c\u0103 omul iube\u015fte s\u0103-\u015fi pun\u0103 singur be\u0163e \u00een roate, ne place s\u0103 ni le facem singuri intangibile, b\u0103l\u0103cindu-ne \u00een dram\u0103 ca scroafa \u00een n\u0103mol.<br \/>\n\u00cen\u0163eleg zilele de awareness \u015fi combatere a r\u00e2iei, scorbutului, blenoragiei, decolor\u0103rii unghiilor \u015fi a\u015fa mai departe. Sunt zile \u00een care ni\u015fte oameni aloc\u0103 r\u0103bdare s\u0103 adune laolalt\u0103 o ciurd\u0103 de analfabe\u0163i func\u0163ionali \u015fi s\u0103-i educe cum s\u0103 nu se sufoce cu propria saliv\u0103.<br \/>\nDar NU \u00een\u0163eleg &#8220;cea mai deprimant\u0103 zi din an&#8221;. Nu \u00een\u0163eleg depresia cu programare. Nu \u00een\u0163eleg obligativitatea de a fi trist cu anas\u00e2na. Nu \u00een\u0163eleg pl\u0103cerea de a te compl\u0103cea \u00eentr-o problem\u0103, \u00een loc s\u0103 g\u0103se\u015fti cea mai scurt\u0103 ie\u015fire.<br \/>\nPe de alt\u0103 parte, mie nu-mi place drama \u00een nici o alt\u0103 parte, dec\u00e2t pe o scen\u0103. Preferabil pe o muzic\u0103 sumbr\u0103 \u015fi cu lumini care scad.<br \/>\nTextule\u0163ul care urmeaz\u0103 reflect\u0103 aceast\u0103 inadaptare a mea. <\/em><\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Badea Ion se trezi de diminea\u0163\u0103. Deschise larg fereastra &#8211; chiar dac\u0103 era iarn\u0103, \u00eei pl\u0103cea aerul curat, \u015fi soba \u00eenc\u0103 p\u0103stra c\u0103ldura pl\u0103cut\u0103 a focului de noaptea trecut\u0103. Iar frigul \u00eei \u00eenviora organismul. Mai bine dec\u00e2t pi\u015foarca aia de cafea pe care i-o preg\u0103tea muierea, mai ales de c\u00e2nd doctorul \u00eei explicase c\u0103 e hipertensiv.<br \/>\nDec\u00e2t s\u0103 bea un pischwasser, badea Ion prefera s\u0103 nu bea cafea.<br \/>\nAzi era o zi frumoas\u0103. Soare cu din\u0163i. Lumina bl\u00e2nd\u0103 a zilei senine se reflecta frumos pe n\u0103me\u0163ii puri de z\u0103pad\u0103. C\u00e2inele se t\u0103v\u0103lea \u00eenc\u00e2ntat prin curte.<br \/>\n&#8220;Sub balcon eu \u0163i-am c\u00e2ntat o serenad\u0103&#8221;, \u00eencepu badea Ion s\u0103 fluiere, \u00een timp ce se b\u0103rbierea \u00een oglind\u0103.<br \/>\n-Ce faci, Ioane? auzi brusc vocea h\u00e2r\u015fit\u0103 de tutun a nevestei.<br \/>\nLe fuma muierea asta a lui de zici c\u0103 era uzina Steagul Ro\u015fu, d\u0103du badea Ion admirativ din cap. Dar, p\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, nu era ca \u015fi cum i-ai putea spune Floric\u0103i ce s\u0103 fac\u0103, \u015fi oricum se aveau ca fra\u0163ii de ani buni, a\u015fa c\u0103&#8230; M\u0103car de \u0163igar\u0103 s\u0103 trag\u0103, dac\u0103 de altceva nu-i mai d\u0103dea m\u00e2na. \u015ei inima.<br \/>\n-M\u0103 rad, tu copil\u0103.<br \/>\n-Nu, nu. Ce fluieri, m\u0103 omule!<br \/>\n-P\u0103i de bucurie, tu, copil\u0103. E soare \u015fi e bine.<br \/>\n-Ioane, nimic nu \u015ftii. Eu pl\u00e2ng \u015fi tu fluieri.<br \/>\n&#8220;Aoleu&#8221;, se sperie Ion. &#8220;S\u0103 fi murit baba Vasilica, sora mamei, \u015fi noi n-avem bani de \u00eengrop\u0103ciune?&#8221;<br \/>\n-Da ce necaz ai p\u0103\u0163it, tu copil\u0103? ie\u015fi el \u00een buc\u0103t\u0103rie, lu\u0103 o bucat\u0103 zdrav\u0103n\u0103 de slan\u0103 \u015fi sparse o ceap\u0103 ro\u015fie ca iubirea pe care i-o purtase odinioar\u0103 Floric\u0103i.<br \/>\n-Da trebuie s\u0103 pa\u0163 vreun necaz, m\u0103i Ioane, m\u0103i? oft\u0103 Florica cu capul complet scufundat \u00een n\u0103fram\u0103.<br \/>\n-Eu n-am zis c\u0103-i musai, fa. Dar dac\u0103 dai ap\u0103 la guzgani, e cam indicat. C\u0103 n-oi pl\u00e2nge de nebun\u0103.<br \/>\nFlorica \u00ee\u015fi \u00eentoarse laptopul spre el. Mereu g\u0103tea cu laptopul pus pe o policioar\u0103 de l\u00e2ng\u0103 vatr\u0103, s\u0103 mai schimbe o vorb\u0103 cu vecinele, pe Facibuci, sau a\u015fa ceva. Nu-l interesa pe Ion a\u015fa ceva. El judeca lucrurile simplu. Nimic n-o s\u0103 coboare din televizor sau calculator niciodat\u0103, s\u0103 prind\u0103 form\u0103 \u00een fa\u0163a ta, \u015fi atunci, de ce s\u0103-\u0163i ba\u0163i capul. Mai bine repari ceva prin curte.<br \/>\n-Ce, f\u0103? \u015etii c\u0103 nu dau doi bani pe prostiile alea. \u0162i-am luat lectoap\u0103 de ziua ta, s\u0103 fii tu fericit\u0103, dar nu m\u0103 b\u0103ga \u015fi pe mine c\u0103 nu-mi pas\u0103.<br \/>\n-Ioane, e\u015fti rupt de lume, m\u0103. Mi-e ru\u015fine cu tine.<br \/>\n-De ce, f\u0103?<br \/>\n-Azi e Cea Mai Deprimant\u0103 Zi din An. \u015ei tu fluieri ca nesim\u0163itul.<br \/>\n-Cea mai ce?<br \/>\n-Deprimant\u0103, m\u0103! Adic\u0103 sup\u0103rat\u0103, am\u0103r\u00e2t\u0103, cu necazuri.<br \/>\n-Dar cine zice asta!?<br \/>\n-Facibuci, m\u0103i. Uite, Mari\u0163a lui Ghi\u0163\u0103 \u015fi-a \u015fi pus poz\u0103 cu ram\u0103 neagr\u0103, Leopoldina lu&#8217; P\u0103nu\u015f\u0103 \u015fi-a f\u0103cut selfiu la cimitir. De fapt a rugat pe cineva s\u0103-i fac\u0103, c\u0103 e toat\u0103 numa cre\u0163uri pe fa\u0163\u0103, ca asfaltul din Bucure\u015fti. Sau \u015fi-a f\u0103cut b\u0103\u0163 de selfiu din prima crac\u0103 pe care a g\u0103sit-o pe drum. Ideea e c\u0103 azi tot omul \u015fi tot natul sufer\u0103 \u015fi pl\u00e2nge.<br \/>\n-Da&#8217; de ce, f\u0103? mu\u015fc\u0103 Ion cu poft\u0103 din slan\u0103.<br \/>\nBun\u0103\u0103\u0103 slan\u0103, uns\u0103 cu boia de ardei deasupra cum \u00eei pl\u0103cea lui. Cum n\u0103zdr\u0103v\u0103nie s\u0103 fii trist \u015fi depri&#8230; depre&#8230; m\u0103 rog, c\u00e2nd ai \u00een cas\u0103 asemenea bun\u0103tate?<br \/>\n-N-ai auzit c\u0103 e pe Facibuci, Ioane?<br \/>\n-\u015ei dac\u0103 e pe Facibuci, ce?<br \/>\n-Dac\u0103 e pe Facibuci, e peste tot, m\u0103i nerodule.<br \/>\n-\u015ei eu trebuie s\u0103 fiu trist azi, doar pentru c\u0103 a\u015fa zice Facibuci?<br \/>\nFlorica se enerv\u0103. Se enerv\u0103 \u015fi-\u015fi aprinse trei \u0163ig\u0103ri deodat\u0103. Trase din ele cu sete.<br \/>\n-Nu, Ioane. Pentru c\u0103 a\u015fa zic eu, muierea ta legiuit\u0103, dat\u0103 la biseric\u0103, fat\u0103 mare \u015fi cu zestre.<br \/>\nExpir\u0103 o d\u00e2r\u0103 lung\u0103 \u015fi gri de fum.<br \/>\n-Dac\u0103 m\u0103 faci de r\u00e2s \u00een lume \u015fi nu e\u015fti trist de Cea Mai Deprimant\u0103 Zi, a\u015fa cum se r\u00e2nduie\u015fte, \u00ee\u0163i v\u0103rs toat\u0103 p\u0103linca. \u015ei atunci o s\u0103 ai de ce s\u0103 fii trist. Ruptule de realitate care e\u015fti.<br \/>\n-Ba nu, muiere. Trist\u0103 o s\u0103 fii tot tu, c\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i trag o m\u0103icu\u0163\u0103 de b\u0103taie de m\u0103 pomene\u015fti.<br \/>\n-A, da, \u015fi asta. B\u0103i, Ioane, tu nu m\u0103 mai iube\u015fti.<br \/>\nV\u0103leu. \u0102sta era genul de discu\u0163ie care \u00eel f\u0103cea s\u0103 simt\u0103 greul celei mai depro&#8230; deplo&#8230; m\u0103 rog, zile din an.<br \/>\n-Ce-\u0163i veni, f\u0103? Te-au iradiat \u0103ia cu Facibucile lor?<br \/>\n-Nu, Ioane. Tu nu m-ai mai b\u0103tut de zece ani!<br \/>\n-P\u0103i nu te-a \u00eenv\u0103\u0163at, f\u0103, Facibuci c\u0103 femeia trebuie s\u0103 fie egal\u0103, f\u0103?<br \/>\nDa, Florica chiar f\u0103cea treab\u0103 bun\u0103. Deja \u00eel ap\u0103sa o triste\u0163e c\u00e2t piatra morii. A fostei mori, c\u0103 acum luau p\u00e2ine chinezeasc\u0103 de la shopul satului.<br \/>\n-Egal\u0103, b\u0103i, Ioane, dar nici chiar a\u015fa. S\u0103 nu-mi mai arzi tu un br\u0103cinar peste buci, m\u0103car a\u015fa, \u00een semn de bun\u0103-cuviin\u0163\u0103? P\u0103i ce b\u0103rbat e\u015fti tu?<br \/>\n-Nu sunt b\u0103rbat, f\u0103. Sunt \u0103la, cum \u00eei zice p\u0103 facibucii t\u0103i. Metrousexual.<br \/>\nFlorica s\u0103ri \u00een sus \u00eenc\u00e2ntat\u0103.<br \/>\n-\u00cen sf\u00e2r\u015fit, m\u0103i omule. Te-ai pus \u015fi tu \u00een r\u00e2nd cu lumea. \u00cen sf\u00e2r\u015fit, M\u0103icu\u0163a Domnului mi-a f\u0103cut \u015fi mie o bucurie. \u00cen sf\u00e2r\u015fit.<br \/>\nDeodat\u0103, tres\u0103ri \u015fi \u00ee\u015fi reconfigur\u0103 expresia de \u00eenceput.<br \/>\n-M\u0103, nesim\u0163it e\u015fti. Ai vrut s\u0103-mi strici jalea din Cea Mai Deprimant\u0103 Zi din an. A\u015fa e\u015fti tu. Mereu strici datina de s\u0103rb\u0103tori. A dracu&#8217; pielea pe tine. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Not\u0103: Tr\u0103im vremuri frumoase. Vremuri \u00een care toate visele noastre sunt accesibile. Dar pentru c\u0103 omul iube\u015fte s\u0103-\u015fi pun\u0103 singur be\u0163e \u00een roate, ne&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11990,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11989","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/depresie.jpg?fit=513%2C282&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11989","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11989"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11989\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11993,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11989\/revisions\/11993"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11990"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11989"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11989"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11989"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}