St\u0103team eu de vorb\u0103 cu ni\u015fte prieteni pesedi\u015fti, pe care i-am scos din liste pentru c\u0103 le-a venit nefasta idee s\u0103 sus\u0163in\u0103 minciuni flagrante la mine pe perete. I mean, seriously. Te-o fi pl\u0103tind pe tine PSD-ul s\u0103 \u00eempr\u0103\u015ftii rahat, dar nu m\u0103 pl\u0103te\u015fte \u015fi pe mine s\u0103-l halesc. \u015ei atunci m\u0103 insult\u0103 la inteligen\u0163\u0103 presupunerea ta c\u0103 pot pune botul la ceva at\u00e2t de vizibil fals.<\/p>\n
Nu, nu ne certam, s\u0103 ne \u00een\u0163elegem. Eu nu m\u0103 cert. \u00cen secunda \u00een care \u00eencerci s\u0103 m\u0103 tratezi altfel dec\u00e2t ca pe o fat\u0103 adorabil\u0103, care \u00ee\u0163i livreaz\u0103 fun din bun\u0103tatea inimii ei, \u015fi \u00eencerci s\u0103 \u00eenfoi tonul la mine, \u00ee\u0163i \u00eenchid telefonul \/ mesageria \u00een nas \u015fi gata, pentru c\u0103 nu am de ce s\u0103 suport eu consecin\u0163ele unei educa\u0163ii precare.<\/p>\n
Deci, povesteam noi ca de la suflet la suflet, de n-ai fi zis c\u0103 divor\u0163asem pe Facebook cu o zi – dou\u0103 \u00een urm\u0103. Cam a\u015fa p\u0103\u0163esc \u015fi cu ec\u015fii, e o iubire mai mare dup\u0103 divor\u0163 dec\u00e2t \u00eenainte. \u015ei mi-a venit ideea, din conversa\u0163iile cu ace\u015fti oameni dr\u0103gu\u0163i \u00een fond, s\u0103 le sugerez ni\u015fte idei guvernan\u0163ilor:<\/p>\n
A) Nu mai \u00eencerca\u0163i donaldtrumpisme cu noi.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Spre deosebire de poporul american, care e complet dep\u0103\u015fit de situa\u0163ie \u00een fa\u0163a autoritarismului, noi avem vaccinul ceau\u015fist prea recent \u015fi \u00eenc\u0103 ni se zb\u00e2rle\u015fte p\u0103rul \u00een anus c\u00e2nd cineva \u00eencearc\u0103 s\u0103 ne fac\u0103 pipi \u00een frez\u0103. Mai ales c\u00e2nd e coafura nou\u0103 \u015fi ai dat o g\u0103l\u0103gie de bani pe ea.<\/p>\n F\u0103r\u0103 ordonan\u0163e de noapte, f\u0103r\u0103 manevre periculoase, f\u0103r\u0103 \u015fmecherii, c\u0103 de data asta a\u0163i sc\u0103pat cu flash moburi \u015fi jocuri de lumini, dar data viitoare v\u0103 omor\u00e2m cu m\u00e2na noastr\u0103.<\/p>\n Abia am apucat s\u0103 gust\u0103m din libertate \u015fi din \u015fansa democra\u0163iei reale, \u015fi dac\u0103 va trebui s\u0103 facem dou\u0103 b\u0103i pe zi \u00een s\u00e2nge de politician de orice parte a e\u015fichierului politic s\u0103 le p\u0103str\u0103m, o s-o facem.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n B) Discuta\u0163i cu noi subiectul pe care-l propunem, nu deturna\u0163i discu\u0163ia\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Noi \u015ftim c\u0103 a\u0163i dat o ordonan\u0163\u0103 la 1.15 noaptea, voi \u015fti\u0163i c\u0103 a\u0163i dat o ordonan\u0163\u0103 la 1.15 noaptea. Noi \u015ftim ce con\u0163ine, voi \u015fti\u0163i ce con\u0163ine. Deci, toat\u0103 lumea \u015ftie despre ce este vorba.<\/p>\n Nu mai \u00eencerca\u0163i s\u0103 ne prosti\u0163i \u00een fa\u0163\u0103 deturn\u00e2nd discu\u0163ia spre tr\u0103darea de neam \u015fi \u0163ar\u0103, ap\u0103rarea votului \u015fi alte vr\u0103jeli. Serios, e iritant. S\u0103 fii luat de prost pe fa\u0163\u0103 e cumplit, dar cumplit de enervant. S\u0103 fii min\u0163it de la obraz, c\u00e2nd \u015fi tu, \u015fi interlocutorul, \u015fti\u0163i c\u0103 e o minciun\u0103 sinistr\u0103, e absolut incalificabil de enervant.<\/p>\n \u015ei colac peste pup\u0103z\u0103, vin c\u0103ca\u0163ii vo\u015ftri de postaci: “M\u0103 \u00eentreb de ce voi, tineretul, ave\u0163i at\u00e2ta ur\u0103?”<\/p>\n Ia ghici din trei \u015fi eventual sun\u0103 un prieten.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n C) Nu mai face\u0163i exerci\u0163ii de ambi\u0163ie cu noi<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n “PSD-ul n-ar fi trebuit s\u0103 cedeze \u00een fa\u0163a voastr\u0103 \u00een problema ordonan\u0163ei”, mi-a spus ieri o fat\u0103 frumoas\u0103.<\/p>\n “De ce, iubito, \u00eel ur\u0103\u015fti at\u00e2t de tare pe Dragnea \u00eenc\u00e2t \u00ee\u0163i doreai s\u0103-l vezi orizontal \u015fi cu m\u00e2inile \u00eencruci\u015fate pe piept?” am \u00eentrebat-o.<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 nu d\u0103dea\u0163i ordonan\u0163a aia 14 la timp, furia popular\u0103 ar fi crescut \u015fi v-ar fi explodat \u00een fa\u0163\u0103 ca un uragan. \u015ei acum exist\u0103 o mare ne\u00eencredere \u015fi 75590 de ipoteze alternative legate de pa\u015fii vo\u015ftri urm\u0103tori.<\/p>\n Exerci\u0163iile de ambi\u0163ie sunt bune acas\u0103, pe mo\u015fia personal\u0103, cu familia \u015fi cu apropia\u0163ii. Nu cu poporul pe care ai fost votat s\u0103-l serve\u015fti \u015fi din ale c\u0103rui impozite e\u015fti salariat pe urm\u0103torii patru ani.<\/p>\n Puterea nu \u00eenseamn\u0103 gher\u0163oial\u0103 \u015fi simptome de urcare a scroafei \u00een copac, puterea \u00eenseamn\u0103 responsabilitate \u015fi voin\u0163\u0103 de a comunica. Cu c\u00e2t e\u015fti mai inflexibil \u00een calitate de lider, cu at\u00e2t e\u015fti mai u\u015for de fr\u00e2nt.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n D) Diversifica\u0163i un pic publicul target\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Chiar vre\u0163i s\u0103 v\u0103 baza\u0163i DOAR pe vr\u0103jeli populiste patriotarde, care nu \u0163in dec\u00e2t la cei mai pro\u015fti dintre noi \u015fi la pensionarii pe care a \u00eencetat s\u0103-i mai intereseze? \u0102ia s\u0103racii ne p\u0103r\u0103sesc \u00een maximum zece ani. Iar dac\u0103 asta r\u0103m\u00e2ne strategia, o s\u0103 muri\u0163i \u015fi voi cu ei.<\/p>\n \u00cencerca\u0163i s\u0103 v\u0103 adresa\u0163i pu\u0163intel \u015fi omului inteligent. Dac\u0103 voi n-o face\u0163i, vor ap\u0103rea partidele care o vor face. Nu, omul inteligent \u015fi cu con\u015ftiin\u0163\u0103 nu va pune botul la vr\u0103jeala cu “eu \u00eemi ap\u0103r votul meu” c\u00e2nd nimeni nu-\u0163i ataca votul sub nici o form\u0103.<\/p>\n E vital pentru voi \u00een primul r\u00e2nd s\u0103 nu ne mai trata\u0163i ca mas\u0103 de manevr\u0103. \u00cen fond, vre\u0163i voturi \u015fi peste patru ani, nu? C\u00e2t s\u0103 v\u0103 voteze \u015fi mor\u0163ii \u0103ia din Oltenia, s\u0103racii de ei?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n E) Grij\u0103 mare la voi \u00een\u015fiv\u0103\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Tipul \u0103la de la Ia\u015fi, Chiric\u0103, a f\u0103cut exact ce ar face orice tip cu ini\u0163iativ\u0103 c\u00e2nd vede o corabie scufund\u00e2ndu-se pentru c\u0103 echipajul s-a \u00eemb\u0103tat de putere. A g\u0103bjit oportunitatea \u015fi a pus m\u00e2na pe c\u00e2rm\u0103. Un tip care a sim\u0163it “momentum”-ul prezentului \u015fi \u00eel c\u0103l\u0103re\u015fte \u00een for\u0163\u0103.<\/p>\n Mai trebuie s\u0103 adune un grup de oameni lucizi \u00een jur \u015fi \u00een cur\u00e2nd voi, mo\u015fii, ve\u0163i fi pe linie moart\u0103. Pre\u015fedin\u0163i onorifici, ca Iliescu.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n F) \u015ei \u0163ine\u0163i-v\u0103 glumele pentru voi\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00cen s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na asta \u00een care a\u0163i \u0163inut poporul \u00een suspans \u015fi frig cu ordonan\u0163a voastr\u0103 13, ne-a\u0163i umplut de mul\u0163i, foarte mul\u0163i, exagerat de mul\u0163i draci. De aceea, o glum\u0103 ca aceea postat\u0103 de \u00a0Firea ieri, cea din foto de sus, va detona ca o bomb\u0103 cu fecale.<\/p>\n Ne-a\u0163i enervat sinistru, \u00een\u0163elege\u0163i? Nu vrem glume cu voi. Spune-i unui tip de culoare un nigga joke \u015fi te \u00eenjur\u0103 o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 se repete. A\u015fa \u015fi noi cu glumi\u0163ele voastre idioate. B\u0103ga\u0163i-vi-le la locul umbros \u015fi ab\u0163ine\u0163i-v\u0103, ca s\u0103 nu vi le b\u0103g\u0103m noi.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n G) Asuma\u0163i-v\u0103 c\u0103 a\u0163i c\u0103cat-o\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n S\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na trecut\u0103, cineva a lansat un fake news c\u0103 relua\u0163i legea def\u0103im\u0103rii. \u00cen secunda imediat urm\u0103toare, un num\u0103r mare de siteuri \u015fi trei sferturi din lista mea de prieteni, 4.900+ \u015fi urm\u0103ritori (aproape 20.000) s-au \u00eenfuriat la culme.<\/p>\n Nimeni nu s-a \u00eendoit de verosimilitatea \u015ftirii.<\/p>\n Asta \u00eenseamn\u0103 un singur lucru: ne\u00eencredere. O mare, mare ne\u00eencredere.<\/p>\n Ave\u0163i de lucrat s\u0103 recupera\u0163i teren \u00een ochii no\u015ftri. \u015ei n-o ve\u0163i ob\u0163ine nici cu protestele alea v\u0103dit \u00eenscenate de la Cotroceni, mai fake dec\u00e2t serbarea mea de la grupa mare, nici pun\u00e2ndu-i pe retarda\u0163ii sini\u015ftri de Ciutacu \u015fi Badea s\u0103 scrie t\u00e2mpenii perfect demontabile, nici pretext\u00e2nd c\u0103 nu s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat nimic.<\/p>\n De fapt, mie \u00eemi convine s\u0103 abereze Ciutacu, c\u0103 uite. \u00cemi fac un munte de trafic numai lu\u00e2ndu-i textele la b\u0103\u015fc\u0103lie.<\/p>\n Dar v\u0103 zic eu c\u0103 vou\u0103 nu v\u0103 convine.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dac\u0103 v-au ajutat aceste sugestii prietenoase, bine. Dac\u0103 nu, ignora\u0163i-le pur \u015fi simplu. \u00cen fond, eu m\u0103 amuz c\u00e2nd v\u0103d persoane d\u00e2ndu-\u015fi foc la valiz\u0103.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" St\u0103team eu de vorb\u0103 cu ni\u015fte prieteni pesedi\u015fti, pe care i-am scos din liste pentru c\u0103 le-a venit nefasta idee s\u0103 sus\u0163in\u0103 minciuni flagrante...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":12186,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12185","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/gluma.jpg?fit=670%2C503&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12185","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12185"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12185\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12192,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12185\/revisions\/12192"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12186"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12185"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12185"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12185"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}