Hai s\u0103 nu mai r\u00e2dem de pro\u015ftii no\u015ftri, s\u0103 aloc\u0103m un pic de timp \u015fi aten\u0163ie \u015fi pentru pro\u015ftii altora.
\nIni\u0163ial, c\u00e2nd am v\u0103zut reclama asta, am crezut c\u0103 e o glum\u0103 retardat\u0103. Dar m-am dus pe siteul respectivilor, \u015fi din c\u00e2te v\u0103d, treaba e tratat\u0103 cu o seriozitate absolut\u0103, ca o propunere solid\u0103 de produs numai bun de lansat pe pia\u0163\u0103. Ideea, bine\u00een\u0163eles, apar\u0163ine unui b\u0103rbat. <\/p>\n
\u015ei iat\u0103 principalul motiv pentru care e fundamental s\u0103 existe educa\u0163ie sexual\u0103 \u00een \u015fcoli. Ca nu cumva c\u00e2te un bou s\u0103 creasc\u0103, \u00eembin\u00e2nd ignoran\u0163a absolut\u0103 cu arogan\u0163\u0103, \u015fi s\u0103 \u00eei vin\u0103 astfel de idei. <\/p>\n
S\u0103 ne \u00een\u0163elegem: ce vrea nenea \u0103sta s\u0103 fac\u0103, \u015fi a \u015fi lansat o campanie de crowdfunding pentru asta, e s\u0103 creeze un fel de superglue vaginal, care s\u0103-\u0163i… cum s-o formulez elegant? s\u0103-\u0163i \u00eenchid\u0103 etan\u015f po\u015feta, s\u0103 nu se scurg\u0103 nimic din ea pe vremea c\u00e2nd vine armata ro\u015fie. \u015fi superglue \u0103sta, imun la s\u00e2nge, ar fi dizolvabil prin urin\u0103, apoi te \u015ftergi \u015fi reaplici. <\/p>\n
Noaptea min\u0163ii, prieteni. Noaptea min\u0163ii. <\/p>\n
Realizezi c\u0103 exist\u0103 masculi pe lumea asta care nu doar c\u0103 n-au v\u0103zut un vagin \u00een via\u0163a lor, cu sau f\u0103r\u0103 ciclu, dar nu au nici cea mai vag\u0103 idee cum func\u0163ioneaz\u0103, care-s procesele anatomice care au loc pe acolo, \u015fi, \u00een ciuda acestei ignoran\u0163e absolute, au preten\u0163ia c\u0103 vin cu solu\u0163ii. <\/p>\n
Numai g\u00e2ndul c\u0103, \u00eentr-o zi de s\u00e2ngerare grea, se adun\u0103 \u00een interiorul t\u0103u valuri-valuri de s\u00e2nge \u015fi se presupune c\u0103 trebuie sus\u0163inute de propriile tale labii, unite cu un lipici, m\u0103 face s\u0103 m\u0103 chircesc de durere \u015fi s\u0103 vomit simultan. E o performan\u0163\u0103 fizic\u0103 s\u0103 le faci simultan, dar ideea atroce a tipului \u0103stuia m\u0103 ajut\u0103 s\u0103 ajung acolo.
\nImagina\u0163i-v\u0103, b\u0103rba\u0163i, cam cum ar fi un superglue care s\u0103 v\u0103 lipeasc\u0103 pielea de pe capul cinstitei pule la un loc, s\u0103 re\u0163in\u0103 ejacularea \u00een\u0103untru. Cu modesta precizare c\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103rc\u0103tura unei ejacul\u0103ri e un singur jet \u015fi gata, pe c\u00e2nd s\u00e2ngele menstrual e un flux continuu. <\/p>\n
Nemaivorbind de c\u00e2t de sensibil\u0103 \u015fi predispus\u0103 la infec\u0163ii, zg\u00e2rieturi \u015fi r\u0103ni e pielea noastr\u0103 a tuturor \u00een zonele delicate. Imagina\u0163i-v\u0103 durerea sinistr\u0103 la fiecare mi\u015fcare neprev\u0103zut\u0103, sau dac\u0103 te zguduie autobuzul, sau dac\u0103 te \u00eembr\u00e2nce\u015fte cineva pe strad\u0103 sau dac\u0103 te a\u015fezi nepotrivit. Insist: ai labiile lipite, presate de o balt\u0103 cresc\u00e2nd\u0103 de s\u00e2nge cu cheaguri. <\/p>\n
Subit \u00eemi piere pofta de r\u00e2s \u015fi m\u0103 \u00eengrozesc.<\/p>\n
Partea cea mai teribil\u0103 e c\u0103 idio\u0163ii ca \u0103sta pretind c\u0103 ei sunt superiori \u00een fa\u0163a femeii \u015fi c\u0103 femeia trebuie s\u0103 li se supun\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103-i urmeze \u015fi c\u0103 ei ar trebui s-o controleze, conform noilor lozinci alt-rightiste.
\nNu zic. Exist\u0103 un procent la fel de mare de femei ignorante. Dar m\u0103car astea nu au preten\u0163ii de suprema\u0163ie \u015fi nici nu \u00eencearc\u0103 s\u0103 le spun\u0103 b\u0103rba\u0163ilor ce s\u0103 fac\u0103 cu propriul lor corp. Prostul care st\u0103 \u00een banca lui nu e o amenin\u0163are. Abia prostul care vrea s\u0103-\u0163i spun\u0103 cum s\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u015fti merit\u0103 o sc\u00e2ndur\u0103 peste din\u0163i \u015fi un \u015fut ap\u0103sat \u00een coaie. <\/p>\n
Ca s\u0103 \u00eenchei \u00eentr-o not\u0103 vesel\u0103: sper s\u0103-l v\u0103d pe boul \u0103sta sinistru demonstr\u00e2nd \u00eentr-un tutorial video eficacitatea produsului cu propria lui gur\u0103. Dar neap\u0103rat s\u0103 existe \u015fi partea cu urina care dizolv\u0103 produsul: fie din interior, fie – pentru un plus de pitoresc – din exterior. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hai s\u0103 nu mai r\u00e2dem de pro\u015ftii no\u015ftri, s\u0103 aloc\u0103m un pic de timp \u015fi aten\u0163ie \u015fi pentru pro\u015ftii altora. Ini\u0163ial, c\u00e2nd am v\u0103zut...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":12230,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12228","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/16807107_10208593042680351_6357204346107571293_n.jpg?fit=550%2C671&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12228","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12228"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12228\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12231,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12228\/revisions\/12231"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12230"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12228"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12228"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12228"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}