Emil era un timid. C\u00e2nd se apropia o fat\u0103 de el, ro\u015fea \u015fi l\u0103sa privirea \u00een jos. Dac\u0103 trebuia s\u0103 cear\u0103 indica\u0163ii pe strad\u0103 \u015fi nu vedea dec\u00e2t femei, prefera s\u0103 r\u0103t\u0103ceasc\u0103 aiurea \u00eenc\u0103 20 de minute, pentru c\u0103 \u00eei era mai u\u015for a\u015fa, dec\u00e2t s\u0103 intre \u00een vorb\u0103 cu una dintre ele. Iar dac\u0103 o femeie din orizontul vizual – auditiv spunea o glum\u0103 mai desfr\u00e2nat\u0103, Emil f\u0103cea urticarie direct.
\nPrietenii \u00eencercaser\u0103 s\u0103-l combine cu diverse domni\u015foare, dar lipelile se destr\u0103mau de la sine. Emil st\u0103tea t\u0103cut, ro\u015fu ca focul, cu privirea \u00eenfipt\u0103 strategic \u00een sticla de bere – \u00eei impuneau bere, s\u0103 par\u0103 b\u0103rbat m\u0103car prin prisma a ce introducea pe gur\u0103. Dac\u0103 fata \u00eencerca s\u0103-l \u00eentrebe ea ceva, s\u0103 stabileasc\u0103 o punte de comunicare ca \u00eentre oameni, Emil se speria \u015fi tr\u00e2ntea, invariabil, cea mai sinistr\u0103 stupizenie din univers. F\u0103ceai ciroz\u0103 auzindu-l. \u015ei nu mergea s\u0103 le explici fetelor c\u0103 de fapt Emil nu e a\u015fa, \u015fi de fapt e b\u0103iat bun. “\u015ei eu de fapt sunt Miss America”, o retezau ele, ironic.
\n\u00centr-o bun\u0103 zi, Emil veni la masa prietenilor lui z\u00e2mbind cu gura p\u00e2n\u0103 la urechi. O lumin\u0103 nou\u0103 \u00eei transfigura \u00eentregul organism. (Da, e o glum\u0103, nu s\u0103ri\u0163i s\u0103 m\u0103 corecta\u0163i ca bovinele proaste. Cine s-a prins c\u0103 e o glum\u0103 \u015fi n-a s\u0103rit ca oligofrenul, bravo, te iubesc, e\u015fti via\u0163a mea.) Str\u0103lucea de fericire. Radia curcubee \u015fi flutura\u015fi.
\nB\u0103ie\u0163ii s-au prins c\u0103 s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat ceva esen\u0163ial.
\n-Ce-ai f\u0103cut, m\u0103?
\n-Am invitat-o pe Ramona la balul de majorat.
\nRamona era fotomodelul \u015fi regina clasei. De la 15 ani participa la concursuri de Miss \u015fi lua titlu dup\u0103 titlu. Avea mai multe coroni\u0163e acas\u0103 dec\u00e2t cimitirul catolic de ziua mor\u0163ilor. Avea contracte cu agen\u0163ii de modele \u015fi dou\u0103 zile din cinci lipsea de la \u015fcoal\u0103. Avea de defilat pe un catwalk.
\n-Jur\u0103-te! exclamar\u0103 ei invidio\u015fi.
\n-Da, am invitat-o.
\n-Coaie, exact pe Ramona \u0163i-ai g\u0103sit-o? La Ramona nu \u00eendr\u0103zneam nici unul s\u0103 ne b\u0103g\u0103m.
\n-Ce-a zis?
\n-Nu vine la majorat, c\u0103 are eveniment la Milano.
\n-Deci, te-a refuzat. Stai jos \u015fi bea cu noi.
\n-B\u0103i, voi nu \u00een\u0163elege\u0163i. Ave\u0163i idee c\u00e2t\u0103 lupt\u0103 a trebuit s\u0103 duc eu cu mine, s\u0103 adun curajul s-o invit? Nici nu conteaz\u0103 ce a r\u0103spuns. Important e c\u0103 am f\u0103cut-o.
\nAtunci le-a picat fisa.
\n-A, da. \u015ei nu te-ai pi\u015fat pe tine \u00een timpul discu\u0163iei.
\n-Da!
\n-Bravo, m\u0103. Ai c\u00e2\u015ftigat o pul\u0103 de cangur cu diamant \u00een v\u00e2rf. Stai jos \u015fi bea cu noi.
\nDar Emil radia fericire \u00een continuare.
\n-Dau eu tura asta. Habar n-ave\u0163i cum e s\u0103 \u00eendr\u0103zne\u015fti. Mai mi\u015fto dec\u00e2t treizeci de Ramone. <\/p>\n
Colaj de Emil Butnaru (coinciden\u0163\u0103 de nume strict \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103toare). <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Emil era un timid. C\u00e2nd se apropia o fat\u0103 de el, ro\u015fea \u015fi l\u0103sa privirea \u00een jos. Dac\u0103 trebuia s\u0103 cear\u0103 indica\u0163ii pe strad\u0103...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":12218,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12312","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/PVLA-DE-NIGGER.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12312","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12312"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12312\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12314,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12312\/revisions\/12314"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12218"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12312"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12312"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12312"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}