De c\u00e2te ori apare \u00een \u0163op\u00e2rlan pe peretele meu se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 inevitabilul. Nu, nu m\u0103 refer la inevitabilul “basculant\u0103 de m\u0103t\u0103r\u00e2ngi, s\u0103-i compens\u0103m cariile din cei \u015fapte ani de acas\u0103, \u015fi block, c\u0103 n-avem de ce s\u0103 toler\u0103m c\u0103cat”. M\u0103 refer la inevitabila replic\u0103: “\u0102sta n-are mam\u0103? \u015ei dac\u0103 are, de ce nu l-a educat?” <\/p>\n
Replic\u0103 pe care o folosesc \u015fi eu la nervi, recunosc, dar \u00een cazul meu e mai mult sub forma \u00eenjur\u0103turii adresate m\u0103-sii care nu l-a educat, pentru c\u0103 mul\u0163i r\u00e2tani se atac\u0103 teribil c\u00e2nd le \u00eenjuri mamele, iar asta e nespus de pl\u0103cut. R\u00e2tanul clocotind de furie (adic\u0103 exact ce inten\u0163ionase s\u0103-\u0163i induc\u0103 el \u0163ie, pentru c\u0103 unicele satisfac\u0163ii din lumea lui sunt cele oferite de r\u0103ul pe care-l face altora) e o imagine absolut mesmerizant\u0103. <\/p>\n
Realitatea trist\u0103 e c\u0103, de cele mai multe ori, mama are o influen\u0163\u0103 limitat\u0103 \u00een cum se comport\u0103, cum se raporteaz\u0103 la sexul opus \u015fi cum interac\u0163ioneaz\u0103 un b\u0103rbat.
\n\u015ei asta pentru c\u0103, din cam secunda \u00een care un b\u0103rbat \u00ee\u015fi d\u0103 seama c\u0103 el are cucule\u0163 \u015fi jum\u0103tate din popula\u0163ie are p\u0103s\u0103ric\u0103, el \u00eencepe s\u0103-\u015fi modeleze comportamentul dup\u0103 un model masculin. \u015ei ce spune mama devine muzic\u0103 de fond. <\/p>\n
Am stat de vorb\u0103 cu c\u00e2\u0163iva b\u0103rba\u0163i pe care-i vedeam buni, gentili, afectuo\u015fi cu prietenele lor, politico\u015fi cu alte persoane, bine educa\u0163i. Le-am pus aceea\u015fi \u00eentrebare: “Ce anume crezi c\u0103 te face s\u0103 fii a\u015fa?”
\nR\u0103spunsul n-a fost niciodat\u0103: mama mi-a \u0163inut mult\u0103 moral\u0103. Mama a b\u0103gat spaima \u00een mine. Mama a b\u0103gat intelect \u00een mine. Mama m-a \u0163inut la col\u0163 p\u00e2n\u0103 am \u00een\u0163eles cum se comport\u0103 un b\u0103rbat bun.
\nCi a fost acela\u015fi, \u00een TOATE, absolut toate cazurile: la noi \u00een cas\u0103, tata a iubit-o mereu pe mama, a sus\u0163inut-o, ne-a certat dac\u0103 nu vorbeam politicos cu ea, a ajutat-o mereu \u00een treburile casei, a fost al\u0103turi de ea. <\/p>\n
A\u015fadar, principalul responsabil pentru comportamentul unui b\u0103rbat este propriul lui tat\u0103. Pe el ar trebui s\u0103-l \u00eenjur\u0103m c\u00e2nd ne agreseaz\u0103 un cocalar pe net. El a abuzat-o toat\u0103 via\u0163a pe mam\u0103, de unde cocalarul a dedus c\u0103 traseul corect de interac\u0163iune cu femeile e abuzul. El a z\u0103cut ca o legum\u0103 pe canapea – de unde cocalarul a dedus c\u0103 treburile casei sunt strict responsabilitatea femeii. El a fost bo$$ suprem \u00een rela\u0163ie, \u015fi doar nevoile lui au contat – de unde cocalarul a dedus c\u0103 tot ce are de f\u0103cut este s\u0103 lanseze o agend\u0103 de preten\u0163ii, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 ofere nimic, pentru c\u0103 nu-i a\u015fa, femeile \u00eei datoreaz\u0103 chestii pentru simpl\u0103 de\u0163inere de penis. <\/p>\n
\u015ei aten\u0163ie: \u00een toate cazurile, oamenii mi-au r\u0103spuns: Tata F\u0102CEA lucrurile astea. Nu “tata \u00eemi \u0163inea predic\u0103, apoi pleca la c\u00e2rcium\u0103”. Singura educa\u0163ie corect\u0103 e cea prin exemplu. Faptele concrete sunt cel mai gr\u0103itor argument.<\/p>\n
Ce poate s\u0103 fac\u0103 o femeie pentru copiii ei, altceva dec\u00e2t s\u0103-i spele, s\u0103-i hr\u0103neasc\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103-i educe?
\n\u00cen primul r\u00e2nd, s\u0103 le g\u0103seasc\u0103 un om bun, care s\u0103 le fie tat\u0103. Un om care le poate fi model \u00een via\u0163\u0103. Nu doar c\u0103 nu ai vreun motiv s\u0103 tolerezi un rahat cu ochi agresiv \u015fi nesim\u0163it, nu doar c\u0103-\u0163i faci r\u0103u \u0163ie \u00eens\u0103\u0163i \u015fi respectului t\u0103u fa\u0163\u0103 de tine cu fiecare clip\u0103 pe care i-o acorzi, dar, pe termen lung, el va avea efect formativ asupra copiilor t\u0103i. \u00cei va \u00eenv\u0103\u0163a c\u0103 abuzul e normal, ba chiar recomandat.
\nFetelor, alege\u0163i inteligent. Modelul abuziv trebuie extirpat \u00een primul r\u00e2nd refuz\u00e2ndu-i-se orice form\u0103 de interac\u0163iune. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
De c\u00e2te ori apare \u00een \u0163op\u00e2rlan pe peretele meu se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 inevitabilul. Nu, nu m\u0103 refer la inevitabilul “basculant\u0103 de m\u0103t\u0103r\u00e2ngi, s\u0103-i compens\u0103m cariile...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":12405,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12404","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/tati.jpg?fit=260%2C173&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12404","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12404"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12404\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12408,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12404\/revisions\/12408"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12405"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12404"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12404"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12404"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}