Profilul ei de Facebook e aici<\/a>. Nu are nici un motiv s\u0103 pl\u0103teasc\u0103 50 de lei pe simpl\u0103 omenie normal\u0103 \u015fi fireasc\u0103. Dac\u0103 e\u015fti pisicar cu experien\u0163\u0103, o po\u0163i ajuta pe Andreea. Ar vrea s\u0103 prind\u0103 m\u00e2\u0163ele \u015fi s\u0103 le sterilizeze, apoi s\u0103 le elibereze, pentru c\u0103 sunt genul de pisici crescute \u00een libertate, care nu pot fi domesticite. \u00cei accept\u0103 m\u00e2ncarea, dar nu se las\u0103 prinse. \u015ei din experien\u0163a mea de chiria\u015f prin toate cartierele Bucure\u015ftiului – un bloc cu pisici e incomparabil mai pl\u0103cut dec\u00e2t unul cu \u015fobolani. <\/p>\n***<\/p>\n
Acum ceva vreme, \u00een vechea mea chirie, la parter, aveam un \u00eentreg sobor de pisici care veneau s\u0103-\u015fi ia masa de sear\u0103 la fereastra mea. Cooptasem un vecin cumsecade. C\u00e2nd plecam prin \u0163ar\u0103 cu evenimente, \u00eei l\u0103sam omului pungi de boabe \u015fi plicule\u0163e cu m\u00e2ncare umed\u0103, s\u0103-mi hr\u0103neasc\u0103 tribul.
\nLa etaj, deasupra mea, locuia un bou agresiv \u015fi m\u00e2rlan. Nefutut cronic. Victima cercului vicios al nefuterii: nu te fute nimeni pentru c\u0103 e\u015fti animal prost \u015fi violent, tu reac\u0163ionezi devenind \u015fi mai prost, \u015fi mai violent, iar lumea refuz\u0103 cu at\u00e2t mai abitir s\u0103 se fut\u0103 cu tine.
\nBoul agresiv \u015fi m\u00e2rlan avea o mare du\u015fm\u0103nie pe faptul c\u0103 hr\u0103neam pisicile. Acela\u015fi “dar de ce nu faci copii”.
\nNumai c\u0103 eu, spre deosebire de Andreea, reac\u0163ionez antipatic c\u00e2nd \u00eemi dau boii agresivi \u015fi m\u00e2rlani directive pe banii mei: “Fiindc\u0103 nu vrea pula mea s\u0103 fac\u0103 copii, ok? Nu-mi c\u00e2\u015ftigi tu banii, nu \u00eemi spui ce s\u0103 fac cu ei!”
\nAtunci boul a scos una magistral\u0103:
\n“Mi se pi\u015f\u0103 la geam \u015fi \u00eemi miroase!”
\nLa asta, am izbucnit \u00een r\u00e2s isteric:
\n“Da’ ce e pisica, b\u0103i, idiotule, f\u00e2nt\u00e2n\u0103 artezian\u0103? De c\u00e2nd se pi\u015f\u0103 pisica cu bolt\u0103, b\u0103i, bovina penibil\u0103 a universului? Nu-mi miroase mie la parter \u015fi-\u0163i miroase \u0163ie la etaj, cretinul p\u0103m\u00e2ntului?”
\nMi-a f\u0103cut reclama\u0163ie la administrator. Un b\u0103tr\u00e2n simpatic. Mi-a b\u0103tut mo\u015ful la u\u015f\u0103.
\n“\u0162i s-au f\u0103cut reclama\u0163ii c\u0103 dai de m\u00e2ncare la pisici.”
\nL-am invitat pe om \u00een cas\u0103, l-am servit cu o cafea.
\n“Nu ‘mi s-au f\u0103cut’, mi le-a f\u0103cut vita de la etaj. \u015etiu. Pisicile arteziene”.
\n“Trebuie s\u0103 existe scandal \u00een bloc?” m-a privit rug\u0103tor mo\u015ful.
\n“Nu, nu trebuie. Spune\u0163i-i gunoiului s\u0103 tac\u0103 \u015fi s-a terminat scandalul”.
\n“Dar tu nu po\u0163i l\u0103sa pisicile \u00een pace?”
\n“Domnul meu, eu c\u00e2\u015ftig bani. Din ace\u015fti bani, pot hr\u0103ni \u015fi crocodili, dac\u0103 vreau. E libertatea omului de a face ce vrea cu banii lui.”
\n“\u015ei asta e adev\u0103rat”. <\/p>\n
A plecat. Boul a mai urlat la mine de c\u00e2teva ori. I-am zis s\u0103 urle la m\u0103-sa.
\nM-am pomenit cu bilet \u00een u\u015f\u0103. Eram convocat\u0103 la urm\u0103toarea \u015fedin\u0163\u0103 de bloc, data de…, ora de…, PREZEN\u0162A OBLIGATORIE.
\n“\u0102mnu. Prezen\u0163a mea e obligatorie strict acolo unde e str\u0103lucit remunerat\u0103”, am scris eu pe bilet cu ro\u015fu. \u015ei l-am l\u0103sat \u00een u\u015f\u0103, s\u0103 \u015ftie toat\u0103 lumea c\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i trebuie sume de-a dreptul obscene de bani s\u0103-mi faci mie program.
\nSume din care o s\u0103 hr\u0103nesc c\u00e2te pisici vrea distinsa mea pul\u0103. <\/p>\n
La un moment dat, boul s-a plictisit – probabil a g\u0103sit de futut – , mo\u015fii s-au calmat, \u015fi eu am hr\u0103nit \u00een continuare pisicile c\u00e2t am locuit \u00een acel bloc. <\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Dar Andreea nu are stomacul meu de fier \u015fi ruperea \u00een pul\u0103 de pro\u015ftii universului. De aceea, v\u0103 rog pe aceia care \u00eei pute\u0163i oferi arme legale de lupt\u0103 cu imbecilii, s\u0103-i scrie\u0163i pe Facebook. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
C\u00e2nd Andreea Cohu\u0163 s-a dus s\u0103-\u015fi verifice \u00eentre\u0163inerea afi\u015fat\u0103 la panoul blocului, i-a c\u0103zut fa\u0163a. “Ceeee?” Pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 rubricile normale, ap\u0103 rece, ap\u0103 cald\u0103,...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":12441,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12439","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/pisici_andreea.jpg?fit=800%2C600&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12439","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12439"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12439\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12446,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12439\/revisions\/12446"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12441"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12439"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12439"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12439"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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