Preten\u0163ia c\u0103 tu \u00eei spui care poze sunt “nu” \u015fi care “da” e iritant\u0103 cu draci. Tu nu e\u015fti nici membrul onorific al Comitetului de Evaluat Fotografii de Vacan\u0163\u0103, nici bossul unei mari agen\u0163ii de modele la care a poposit ea s\u0103 se \u00eenscrie \u00een baza de date. E\u015fti un internaut oarecare, iar ea nu-\u0163i datoreaz\u0103 nimic. Nu exist\u0103 “a\u015fa nu” \u015fi “a\u015fa da” dec\u00e2t \u00eentre oameni care s-au obligat contractual s\u0103 fac\u0103 lucruri.<\/p>\n
2. (\u00eentr-o poz\u0103 cu mai multe femei) “Tu e\u015fti cea mai frumoas\u0103! \/ Prietena ta e cea mai frumoas\u0103!”<\/strong><\/p>\n Fie c\u0103 o decretezi pe ea miezul din dodoa\u015fc\u0103, fie pe cealalt\u0103, ambele persoane se vor sim\u0163i prost. Mai cu seam\u0103 dac\u0103 nu erau candidate la Miss Urziceni 1958 \u015fi \u00eentre ele nu exista un concurs. \u015ei crede-m\u0103, pentru orice femeie, prietena ei valoreaz\u0103 mai mult dec\u00e2t sulea oarecare de pe net. Au b\u0103ut vin \u00eempreun\u0103, au pove\u015fti comune, s-au sus\u0163inut la sup\u0103r\u0103ri \u015fi boli, s-au ajutat \u00een momente critice. Tu cine e\u015fti?<\/p>\n 3. “\u00cemi placi c\u00e2nd z\u00e2mbe\u015fti!”<\/strong><\/p>\n Asta pare inofensiv\u0103, corect? Nu \u015fi c\u00e2nd gugum\u0103nia e postat\u0103 sub o fa\u0163\u0103 100% serioas\u0103. 4. “Por\u0163i prea mult makeup!”<\/strong><\/p>\n Prea mult makeup raportat la ce? La volumul de makeup produs pe anul 2030? La volumul purtat de gospodinele de la tine din bloc? La gusturile tale de cizm\u0103? 5. “E\u015fti mult mai simpatic\u0103 \u00een realitate”. <\/strong><\/p>\n E vizibil\u0103 din avion gafa sinistr\u0103, sau trebuie s\u0103 desenez evidentul?<\/p>\n 6. De ce te-ai tuns, aveai p\u0103rul a\u015fa frumos… <\/strong><\/p>\n Poate \u00eei c\u0103dea ca la balamuc. Poate s-a s\u0103turat s\u0103-l tot perie \u015fi frece. Poate nu mai are chef s\u0103 dea cu aspiratorul zi de zi pentru propriul p\u0103r. Poate e var\u0103 \u015fi vrea s\u0103-i dea scalpului o pauz\u0103. Sau poate c\u0103. E recomandat. S\u0103 ne vedem fiecare. De a mamei din dotare.<\/p>\n 7. “Ar\u0103\u0163i minunat pentru v\u00e2rsta ta.”<\/strong><\/p>\n Cu alte cuvinte, “babo”. Dac\u0103 ar fi sincer\u0103 cu tine, Lorena style, \u0163i-ar r\u0103spunde “bab\u0103 e\u015fti tu cu m\u0103-ta, boule!”<\/p>\n 8. “E\u015fti foarte frumoas\u0103, nu-mi vine s\u0103 cred c\u0103 e\u015fti singur\u0103.” <\/strong><\/p>\n Unii oameni prefer\u0103 s\u0103 fie singuri, c\u0103 e mai eficient din punct de vedere al timpului. Al\u0163ii prefer\u0103 s\u0103 aib\u0103 control asupra propriei vie\u0163i \u015fi asupra propriului program. Al\u0163ii au trecut prin divor\u0163uri ur\u00e2te, sau prin v\u0103duvie traumatizant\u0103. Dac\u0103 nu e\u015fti la un nivel de prietenie cu persoana care s\u0103 permit\u0103 o astfel de discu\u0163ie, regula de baz\u0103 e: nu te apas\u0103 grija de statusul ei erotic. Ain’t your motherf%\u00a4kin’ damn oal\u0103, don’t intrude your motherf%\u00a4kin’ damn nas!<\/p>\n 9. “C\u00e2nd por\u0163i rochii, ar\u0103\u0163i ca o doamn\u0103!”<\/strong><\/p>\n Din nou, insulta din subtext e at\u00e2t de vizibil\u0103 \u00eenc\u00e2t po\u0163i s\u0103 te bucuri c\u0103 prietena ta nu e Lorena Lupu \u015fi nu-\u0163i r\u0103spunde: “Aha, \u015fi c\u00e2nd port pantaloni, ar\u0103t ca m\u0103-ta.”<\/p>\n 10. \u015ei, cel mai important, nu b\u0103ga aluzii gre\u0163oase \u015fi libidinoase\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Orice referire la “\u0163\u00e2\u0163e” \/ “s\u00e2ni” \/ “piept” \/ “cur”, “ce bun\u0103ciune e\u015fti” spune despre tine c\u0103 e\u015fti un\u00a0 nef”’ dezgust\u0103tor creepy. Ab\u0163ine-te. Rezerv\u0103-le pentru momentele toride din dormitor, sau, dac\u0103 nu ai parte (\u015fi comentariile sc\u00e2rboase sunt un motiv), pentru acuplarea cu propria m\u00e2nu\u0163\u0103, \u00een intimitatea b\u0103ii. Sau dac\u0103 tot te chinuie patima comentatului, \u0163ip\u0103 la filme adulte. A\u015fa cum mama mea converseaz\u0103 cu televizorul \u015fi ceart\u0103 personajul negativ c\u00e2nd se uit\u0103 la un film, tu po\u0163i complimenta “bidoanele” \u015fi “bucile” eroinei din “G\u00e2t ad\u00e2nc Reloaded”. “Dar, Loreno, de unde \u015ftiu dac\u0103 sar calul? C\u0103 nu mai \u00een\u0163eleg nimic din femeile din ziua de azi”.<\/p>\n Simplu. \u00cencearc\u0103 testul m\u0103-ta.<\/p>\n S\u0103 presupunem c\u0103 m\u0103-ta pune o poz\u0103 pe Facebook. \u015ei sar h\u0103ndr\u0103l\u0103i s\u0103 comenteze. Orice chestie care te-ar face s\u0103 vrei s\u0103-l ba\u0163i pe cretin dac\u0103 \u00eei zice asta m\u0103-tii e o chestie pe care NU o postezi la pozele altor femei.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Acest site \u00ee\u015fi poate continua activitatea doar cu sus\u0163inerea cititorilor.\u00a0Aici<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe\u00a0Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe\u00a0Twitter<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u015fi\u00a0Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe\u00a0YouTube<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u015fi pe\u00a0TikTok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Ai prietene pe Facebook, ca noi to\u0163i. \u015ei e var\u0103. Toate prietenele tale \u00ee\u015fi fac poze decoltate, cu fuste scurte, la mare, la munte,...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10725,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":true},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12899","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/kelly-brook.jpg?fit=615%2C409&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12899","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12899"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12899\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24967,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12899\/revisions\/24967"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10725"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12899"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12899"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12899"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nRealitatea e c\u0103 nim\u0103nui nu-i place s\u0103-i dai indica\u0163ii pre\u0163ioase legate de expresia facial\u0103, iar modelele \u015fi actorii sunt pl\u0103ti\u0163i \u00een \u015fedin\u0163e foto ca s\u0103 primeasc\u0103 instruc\u0163iuni.
\nSingurul r\u0103spuns la asta e: \u00een \u015fedin\u0163ele foto pl\u0103tite de tine, promit s\u0103 r\u00e2njesc toat\u0103 fasolea din dotare, ba \u00eemprumut fasole de la vecine s-o r\u00e2njesc \u015fi pe aia, ce zici?<\/p>\n
\nNu, nu e o jignire random. Singurii care mi-au criticat vreodat\u0103 machiajul au fost \u0163\u0103rani sini\u015ftri. Nu \u00een sensul clasic al cuv\u00e2ntului, acela de lucr\u0103tori ai gliei – o munc\u0103 nobil\u0103 \u015fi demn\u0103 de tot respectul, ci \u00een sensul de gher\u0163oi idio\u0163i care nu pricepeau nimic din nimic, \u015fi care aveau impresia c\u0103 toate femeile trebuie s\u0103 poarte batic de la 25 de ani \u00een sus.
\nDa, c\u00e2t timp am un ten suficient de fresh \u015fi de tonifiat s\u0103 nu-mi stea r\u0103u boit\u0103 \u00een culorile r\u0103zboiului, o s\u0103 port c\u00e2t makeup vrea mu\u015fchiul meu. Toate drag queens s\u0103 apeleze la mine.<\/p>\n
\nAia m\u0103car s-a \u00eenscris voluntar\u0103 la chestia asta, c\u00e2nd a decis s\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi c\u00e2\u015ftige meniul zilei \u00eencas\u00e2nd m\u0103dulare. Prietena ta de pe Facebook nu.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n