Am un frate. Acest frate al meu este \u00eennebunit dup\u0103 pescuit. Are o colec\u0163ie de undi\u0163e, c\u00e2rlige, \u015fi multe-multe rahaturi mititele, despre care nu \u015ftiu la ce folosesc, \u015fi dac\u0103 e s\u0103-\u015fi aleag\u0103 un weekend dup\u0103 pl\u0103cerea inimii lui, \u00eel petrece pe malul unui lac, cu un b\u0103\u0163 \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103 \u015fi cu lini\u015fte \u00een jur.
\nVara, la noi la munte sunt puzderie de concursuri de pescuit, \u015fi pentru c\u0103 frati-miu e Leu competitiv, vrea s\u0103 participe la toate.
\nAcum dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni, era un concurs important. Dar i-a f\u0103cut firma o “surpriz\u0103”, un weekend all-inclusive la mare. “Surpriz\u0103” pe care fratele meu a \u00eenjurat-o din r\u0103runchi, pentru c\u0103 pe el marea \u00eel plictise\u015fte – exact ca pe sor\u0103-sa, coc\u0103l\u0103reala agresiv\u0103 \u00eei repugn\u0103 – exact ca sor\u0103-sii – , m\u00e2ncarea de pe litoral i se pare proast\u0103 cu spume – exact ca sor\u0103-sii, nu g\u0103se\u015fte nic\u0103ieri o cafea decent\u0103 – nici sor\u0103-sa – \u015fi netul din c\u00e2rciumile de la mare suge pule de cal. (\u015ei, da, \u015ftiu \u00een ce \u00eencreng\u0103tur\u0103 de fraze m-am plasat. :D)
\nA \u00eendurat fratele meu all inclusive-ul la mare cu ur\u0103, sc\u00e2rb\u0103 \u015fi groaz\u0103.
\n\u00cen weekendul de dup\u0103, a zis: Gata, concurs!
\nUitase c\u0103 are o nunt\u0103. Nu el. El era doar invitat. S\u0103 fac\u0103 pe zeitatea social\u0103, s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nce ardei umplu\u0163i cu crem\u0103 de br\u00e2nz\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 mimeze c\u0103 se distreaz\u0103. A blestemat fratele meu institu\u0163ia mariajului, ritualurile aferente \u015fi pe cei care le-au inventat, a implorat la zei s\u0103 se legalizeze c\u0103s\u0103toria gay, s\u0103 sufere toat\u0103 lumea la fel – \u015fi a mai ratat un concurs.
\nWeekendul \u0103sta avea un al treilea concurs. La un lac sublim din jude\u0163ul Bra\u015fov. El a plecat la \u015fapte diminea\u0163a, so\u0163ia lui \u015fi eu, care voiam s\u0103 profit\u0103m de vacan\u0163\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 dormim, ne-am trezit pe la zece, \u015fi urma s\u0103 mergem, s\u0103 facem serviciu de fanclub de pe la 11 \u00eencolo.
\nSeara, frati-miu era viteaz ca un zeu: “Acest concurs nu mi-l poate lua nimeni \u015fi nimic. M\u0103rita\u0163i-v\u0103, divor\u0163a\u0163i, muri\u0163i c\u00e2t vre\u0163i, c\u00e2\u015ftiga\u0163i la Loto ce vre\u0163i voi, eu voi fi cu b\u0103\u0163ul pe lac. Punct!”
\nLa 11 \u015fi 5, \u00een timp ce d\u0103deam s\u0103 pornim, sun\u0103 telefonul. Era el:
\n-A\u0163i plecat?
\n-\u00cenc\u0103 nu, c\u0103 ne e lene, dar venim.
\n-Nu mai veni\u0163i nic\u0103ieri. M\u0103 duc acum la urgen\u0163e.
\n-De ce, ce s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat?
\n-M-a \u00een\u0163epat o viespe pe limb\u0103.
\n-Unde \u0163i-ai b\u0103gat-o?
\n-Hai, las\u0103 glumele proaste. Am luat o gur\u0103 de cafea f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 uit, \u015fi paharul avea vizitatori. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Am un frate. Acest frate al meu este \u00eennebunit dup\u0103 pescuit. Are o colec\u0163ie de undi\u0163e, c\u00e2rlige, \u015fi multe-multe rahaturi mititele, despre care nu...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11590,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13020","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/agresati-estetic.jpg?fit=510%2C382&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13020","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13020"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13020\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13021,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13020\/revisions\/13021"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11590"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13020"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13020"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13020"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}