De c\u00e2nd mi-am f\u0103cut blog \u015fi cont pe re\u0163elele sociale, am v\u0103zut toate formele de masculi f\u0103r\u0103 coloan\u0103 vertebral\u0103 lurkerind ca viermii \u015fi cer\u015find b\u0103garea \u00een seam\u0103 cu cele mai jalnice manevre. De la insulte (eternul “E\u015fti ur\u00e2t\u0103 \u015fi gras\u0103”, de parc\u0103 era directorul de agen\u0163ie de casting care avea un rol principal de multe mii de euro pentru tine dar, na, nu corespunzi standardelor) p\u00e2n\u0103 la amenin\u0163\u0103ri (“\u015etiu unde stai” \/ “Te caut \u015fi te bat” \/ “Te caut \u015fi pun ga\u015fca s\u0103 te bat\u0103” (pentru c\u0103, nu-i a\u015fa, un b\u0103rbat adev\u0103rat trebuie s\u0103 se bazeze pe hait\u0103, s\u0103 agreseze o femeie pe care n-o cunoa\u015fte) \u015fi p\u00e2n\u0103 la jego\u015fii deosebit de creepy care au f\u0103cut rost de num\u0103rul meu de telefon. Bine, verbal sunt chiar mai bun\u0103 la mor\u0163i de mam\u0103 dec\u00e2t \u00een scris, drept care tentativa de intimidare n-a func\u0163ionat. L-am pulit pe un prost, apoi i-am \u00eenchis, i-am banat num\u0103rul \u015fi a doua zi, m-am uitat la apeluri banate. 54. At\u00e2t de bolnavi mintal pot fi unii.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Dar noua idio\u0163enie pe care am avut-o de \u00eenfruntat m-a f\u0103cut s\u0103 inventez ni\u015fte pule-n gur\u0103 cu 50% mai colorate, mai d\u00e2rze \u015fi mai b\u00e2rzoete. Regret noua politic\u0103 Facebook care face ca, din secunda \u00een care dai block cuiva, s\u0103 dispar\u0103 \u015fi conversa\u0163ia din mesagerie. Mi-ar fi pl\u0103cut s\u0103 livrez \u015fi dovezi, ca s\u0103 \u00eenchid gura g\u0103\u015ftii de avoca\u0163i-ai-prostului, care cer dovad\u0103 pentru cea mai mic\u0103 acuza\u0163ie referitoare la numi\u0163ii pro\u015fti, dar \u00ee\u015fi permit s\u0103 fac\u0103 curve femei pe care nu le cunosc, \u015fi \u00een cazul \u0103sta nu mai e nevoie de dovezi.<\/p>\n
Deci, va trebui s\u0103 merge\u0163i pe \u00eencredere.<\/p>\n
Acum vreo trei s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni, \u00eemi trimite un mesaj extrem de insult\u0103tor un Viteaz de Tastatur\u0103 1. N-avea nume de om, avea poz\u0103 generic\u0103, cu Vod\u0103-n Lobod\u0103. M\u0103 prinde nervoas\u0103 pe ni\u015fte m\u0103run\u0163i\u015furi, deci nu-i dau block direct, \u00eemi descarc \u015fi nervii lu\u00e2ndu-i mor\u0163ii-n primire lung, detaliat \u015fi cu ging\u0103\u015fie, cum e frumos s\u0103 tratezi mor\u0163ii omului.<\/p>\n
“Mai \u0163ii minte c\u00e2nd mi-ai supt pula?” \u00eentreab\u0103 el subit, ca p\u0103truns de o amintire lung\u0103 \u015fi rece ca buzele lui Mirciulic\u0103.<\/p>\n
Ce, m\u0103? Asta v\u0103 \u00eenva\u0163\u0103 mai nou la \u015fcoala de pick-up, aka cum s\u0103 devenim c\u0103ca\u0163i stresan\u0163i \u015fi mas\u0103 parazitar\u0103 pe nervii altora? Asta e noua “replic\u0103” forte de r\u0103pus adversara?<\/p>\n
“Eu nu m-a\u015f atinge de genul t\u0103u de gunoi cu ochi dec\u00e2t cu m\u0103nu\u015fi chirurgicale \u015fi masc\u0103 medical\u0103, \u00een universul alternativ \u00een care s-ar nimeri s\u0103 ne pomenim fa\u0163\u0103 \u00een fa\u0163\u0103”, i-am replicat sec. “Prefer s\u0103 modelez figurine de \u015fah din c\u0103cat dec\u00e2t s\u0103 iau vreodat\u0103 contact fizic cu tine. Sc\u00e2rboas\u0103 \u00eencercare, \u00een orice caz.”<\/p>\n
La asta, efectiv a t\u0103cut. OK, recunosc, la nervi exagerez cu metaforele. Dar nu. Serios, dac\u0103 ar fi de ales, a\u015f prefera s\u0103 modelez figurine de \u015fah din c\u0103cat dec\u00e2t s\u0103 ating, chiar \u015fi cu m\u0103nu\u015fi chirurgicale \u015fi masc\u0103 medical\u0103, genul de gunoi uman care b\u00e2ntuie pe net \u015fi se d\u0103 fostul receptor de sex oral revenit s\u0103 \u00eenjure. C\u0103-mi imaginez c\u0103 nu era o schem\u0103 pe care o \u00eencerca doar pe mine. Probabil e strategie universal\u0103 de intimidare.<\/p>\n
\u015ei am profitat de t\u0103cere, \u015fi i-am dat block.<\/p>\n
\u015ei via\u0163a \u00a0a continuat.<\/p>\n
Acum o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103, m\u0103 ia alt cont. S\u0103-i zicem Viteaz de Tastatur\u0103 2. Insulte, b\u0103\u015fini, eu \u00eei descriu tot ce mi-ar pl\u0103cea s\u0103-i fac mamei lui pentru c\u0103 a fost ocupat\u0103 cu telenovele \u015fi a omis s\u0103-l educe, \u015fi deodat\u0103: “Mai \u0163ii minte c\u0103 mi-ai supt pula?”<\/p>\n
Posibil era primul ratat, de\u015fi am avut impresia c\u0103 pe \u0103la l-am ucis definitiv pe interior cu figurinele de \u015fah din c\u0103cat. Posibil e un trend \u00eentre cele mai de jos specimene umane care vor s\u0103 se fac\u0103 remarcate.<\/p>\n
“Nu, jegule, dar mai \u0163in minte cum mi-ai supt-o tu pe a mea. Foarte prost, cu din\u0163i caria\u0163i care zg\u00e2riau. Mi-a dat nostalgia dulce-amar\u0103 a momentului c\u00e2nd mi-a supt-o m\u0103-ta”.<\/p>\n
“Sigur e\u015fti femeie?”<\/p>\n
Certificatul de na\u015ftere zice c\u0103 da, dar organismele vii se adapteaz\u0103 vicisitudinilor terenului. Literalmente n-ai cu ce s\u0103 m\u0103 insul\u0163i, \u015fi eu s\u0103 nu te insult mai dureros.<\/p>\n
Oricum, \u00eemi imaginez cu triste\u0163e cum e s\u0103 aib\u0103 o fat\u0103 inocent\u0103 de 14 ani cont pe Facebook \u015fi s\u0103 vin\u0103 c\u0103ca\u0163ii \u0103\u015ftia cu ochi cu asemenea mizerii.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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