{"id":13180,"date":"2017-08-29T10:03:45","date_gmt":"2017-08-29T07:03:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=13180"},"modified":"2017-08-29T10:03:45","modified_gmt":"2017-08-29T07:03:45","slug":"cinci-motive-pentru-care-vrei-sa-ai-trollywood-in-biblioteca","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/cinci-motive-pentru-care-vrei-sa-ai-trollywood-in-biblioteca\/","title":{"rendered":"Cinci motive pentru care vrei s\u0103 ai Trollywood \u00een bibliotec\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dup\u0103 cum vede oricine cu ochiul liber (chiar \u015fi cel maro), trei sferturi din sum\u0103 s-au str\u00e2ns \u00eentr-o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103. Iaca. <\/a> Dar p\u00e2n\u0103 nu se str\u00e2nge TOAT\u0102 suma, nu vei sc\u0103pa de futerea mea la icre. Drept care, dac\u0103 vrei ca blogul \u0103sta s\u0103 redevin\u0103 instrumentul t\u0103u obi\u015fnuit de fun & games, nu ai de ales. Va trebui s\u0103 precomanzi Trollywood. <\/p>\n

Dar iat\u0103 cinci motive \u00een\u0163elepte \u015fi mature pentru care \u00ee\u0163i dore\u015fti intens \u015fi cu n\u0103b\u0103d\u0103i, chiar dac\u0103 nu \u015ftii \u00eenc\u0103, s\u0103 de\u0163ii aceast\u0103 carte. <\/p>\n

1. Va fi mare \u015fi groas\u0103.<\/strong>
\nPrin urmare, dac\u0103 te \u00een\u015fal\u0103 iubitul sau iubita, \u00ee\u0163i intr\u0103 un ho\u0163 \u00een cas\u0103 sau d\u0103 cineva s\u0103 te violeze cu bestialitate, sco\u0163i Trollywood \u015fi \u00eei aplici una peste mecl\u0103. Toate p\u0103catele oponentului \u00ee\u015fi vor g\u0103si pedeapsa. <\/p>\n

2. Vei p\u0103rea intelectual(\u0103) <\/strong>
\nBine, nu cu coperta asta. Dar face\u0163i ca bunicul meu.
\nBunicul meu cump\u0103ra ziare – \u015ftiu, o raritate \u00een zilele noastre, dar pute\u0163i \u00eencerca \u015fi cu pliante de Carrefour – \u015fi \u00eembr\u0103ca cu grij\u0103 coper\u0163ile c\u0103r\u0163ilor.
\nApoi, lua\u0163i un post-it \u015fi scrie\u0163i mare cu un marker, s\u0103 vad\u0103 melteanul de pe r\u00e2ndul opus al metroului: “HONORE DE BALZAC – COMEDIA UMAN\u0102”. Nu, nu v\u0103 complica\u0163i cu Google, e o carte groas\u0103 \u015fi serioas\u0103. Nu ca asta. <\/p>\n

3. Vei r\u00e2de mult. <\/strong>
\n“Vai, Lorena, z\u0103ceam pe patul de moarte, \u00een cea mai ad\u00e2nc\u0103 \u015fi neagr\u0103 depresie, dar blogul t\u0103u m-a scos, ca o macara a spiritului omenesc”.
\nGood. Acum cump\u0103r\u0103 cartea.
\nNu ca s\u0103 m\u0103 recompensezi, doamne fere\u015fte. \u015etim doar c\u0103 m\u0103-ta \u0163i-a cump\u0103rat internet cu mine-n superofert\u0103, deci no\u0163iunea de a recompensa un furnizor de content e greac\u0103 veche pentru tine.
\nDar poate te mai nimere\u015fti o dat\u0103 pe patul de moarte \u015fi-n cea mai neagr\u0103 depresie, \u015fi pentru c\u0103 Dumnezeu nu bate cu parul, o s\u0103 aib\u0103 Telekom o disfunc\u0163ionalitate. Nu vei avea net, s\u0103 profi\u0163i de macaraua spiritului omenesc, \u015fi o s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2i la fund.
\n“La fundul cui, Lorena?”
\nNu conteaz\u0103. Ideea e s\u0103 te asiguri pentru penele de net ale lui Telekom. Ia-\u0163i macaraua spiritului omenesc acum. Cump\u0103r\u0103 Trollywood. <\/p>\n

4. Poate \u00eentr-o zi m\u0103 satur \u015fi \u00eemi \u015fterg blogul <\/strong>
\n\u015ei, din nou, r\u0103m\u00e2i f\u0103r\u0103 macaraua spiritului omenesc.
\nDac\u0103 ai Trollywood, cartea, nu-\u0163i pas\u0103. Pot s\u0103-l \u015fterg \u015fi m\u00e2ine. Tu r\u00e2zi pe sub must\u0103\u0163i, pentru c\u0103 \u015ftii c\u0103 e\u015fti asiguripsit(\u0103). <\/p>\n

5. Cartea o s\u0103 fie cu font negru pe fil\u0103 alb\u0103 \u015fi nu va c\u0103dea de la trafic<\/strong>
\n“Lorena, \u0163i-a c\u0103zut blogul.” “OK, din generoasa ta dona\u0163ie promit s\u0103-mi cump\u0103r un server numai al meu.” (R\u0103spuns sarcastic, pentru c\u0103 ace\u015fti clien\u0163i nemul\u0163umi\u0163i c\u0103 ciorba e rece sunt cei care nu doneaz\u0103 niciodat\u0103. Ei tr\u0103iesc cu impresia c\u0103 Telekom \u00eemi d\u0103 procent din abonamentul lor la net, drept care, trebuie s\u0103-mi pese din oficiu de ei.)
\n“Lorena, ur\u0103sc s\u0103 citesc alb pe violet”. Atunci nu citi. Te pun eu s\u0103 m\u0103 cite\u015fti? “Dar eu vreau s\u0103 te citesc”. Cool. Atunci cite\u015fte-m\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 mofturi.
\nDar, pentru c\u0103 nu-mi bat niciodat\u0103 joc de omul care d\u0103 banul, cartea va fi prietenoas\u0103 cu ochiul t\u0103u (chiar \u015fi cu cel maro, dac\u0103 vei decide s\u0103 m\u0103 sacrifici instinctelor tale primare), te va avea \u00een capitolul de “mul\u0163umiri cititorilor no\u015ftri responsabili, datorit\u0103 lor autorii no\u015ftri au avioane private”, \u015fi \u00ee\u0163i voi scrie ceva extrem de sexy \u015fi de personal acolo unde scriitorul obi\u015fnuit d\u0103 autograf. <\/p>\n

Hai, pisi. \u015etii c\u0103 m\u0103 vrei. \u015etii c\u0103 nu po\u0163i s\u0103-mi rezi\u015fti. \u015etii c\u0103 o s\u0103 r\u00e2zi p\u00e2n\u0103 diminea\u0163a cu mine. Scoate cardul \u015fi intr\u0103 cu curaj aici<\/a>. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dup\u0103 cum vede oricine cu ochiul liber (chiar \u015fi cel maro), trei sferturi din sum\u0103 s-au str\u00e2ns \u00eentr-o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103. Iaca. Dar p\u00e2n\u0103 nu se...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":13181,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13180","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/coperta-t.png?fit=600%2C500&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13180","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13180"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13180\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13184,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13180\/revisions\/13184"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13181"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13180"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13180"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13180"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}