{"id":13552,"date":"2017-11-06T12:29:16","date_gmt":"2017-11-06T09:29:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=13552"},"modified":"2017-11-06T12:54:00","modified_gmt":"2017-11-06T09:54:00","slug":"militia-reloaded","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/militia-reloaded\/","title":{"rendered":"Mili\u0163ia Reloaded"},"content":{"rendered":"

Nu \u015ftiu dac\u0103 a remarcat cineva, ocupa\u0163i cum suntem cu scandalurile zilei, noul proiect de lege privitor la \u00eent\u0103rirea autorit\u0103\u0163ii organului<\/a>. E fresh scos din mintea odihnit\u0103 a doamnei Carmen Dan \u015fi-i d\u0103 fl\u0103c\u0103ului cu insign\u0103 \u015fi cu chef de harneal\u0103 protejat\u0103 de stat drepturi infinite s\u0103 se joace cu tine, pl\u0103titor de impozite, dup\u0103 cum \u00eei pofte\u015fte inima. <\/p>\n

Dixit Carmencita: “Nevoia acestor schimb\u0103ri reprezint\u0103 r\u0103spunsul institu\u0163ional la o realitate social\u0103, reflectat\u0103 \u00een cre\u015fterea num\u0103rului de agresiuni \u00eendreptate \u00eempotriva personalului Ministerului Afacerilor Interne.”
\nRealitatea de pe teren: organul se bag\u0103-n seam\u0103 relativ antipatic cu tine pentru c\u0103 e\u015fti pe drum \u015fi nu-i plac ochii t\u0103i alba\u015ftri. Tu \u00eei rogi ini\u0163ial politicos s\u0103 se dea jos de pe sufletul t\u0103u, apoi \u00eei rogi mai pu\u0163in frumos. \u015ei subit, exact ca haterul de internet care \u00ee\u015fi ia libertatea s\u0103 posteze 4356 de comentarii doldora de ur\u0103, dar o arde ultra ofuscat la replica ta prieteneasc\u0103 “Jet, b\u0103, \u015fomerule!”, organul, de\u015fi ultra antipatic, cum precizasem mai sus, e sensibil pe interior, \u015fi dac\u0103 m\u00e2r\u00e2i ceva \u00een ap\u0103rare, e “supus agresiunii tale”. <\/p>\n

Practic: dac\u0103 vii de la o bere \u015fi n-ai buletinul la tine, te pot amenda senin cu 1500 lei, pentru c\u0103 nu te legitimezi. Iar dac\u0103 protestezi, alt\u0103 surpriz\u0103: insultele la adresa organului constituie infrac\u0163iune \u00een sine.
\nAdic\u0103: te iau j\u0103ndarii la b\u0103taie, a\u015fa random, s\u0103-\u015fi exercite \u015fi ei autoritatea proasp\u0103t \u00eent\u0103rit\u0103 pe un trec\u0103tor nevinovat. \u00cen\u0163eleg c\u0103 \u00een zilele fostei mili\u0163ii era business as usual.
\nDac\u0103 tu, cu botul plin de s\u00e2nge, scapi un “mor\u0163ii mamelor voastre de gunoaie”, deja e\u015fti infractor. <\/p>\n

Dar cea mai frumoas\u0103 parte e aceea \u00een care pot s\u0103-\u0163i invadeze domiciliul f\u0103r\u0103 mandat, pe baz\u0103 de “suspiciuni”. Suspiciunile, cum bine \u015ftim, zboar\u0103 libere \u015fi au exact zero baz\u0103 real\u0103. Acum c\u00e2teva luni, ni\u015fte preacucernici cretini m-au acuzat c\u0103 practic satanismul. Apoi, peste c\u00e2teva s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni, un s\u0103n\u0103tos cu capul mi-a comunicat c\u0103 el \u015ftie din surs\u0103 sigur\u0103 c\u0103 eu sunt de fapt b\u0103iat, dar m\u0103 travestesc, \u015fi am f\u0103cut opera\u0163ie de schimbare de sex. Orice vecin psihopat care-\u0163i bate-n \u0163eav\u0103 c\u0103 miaun\u0103 m\u00e2\u0163a poate inventa o suspiciune fantasmagoric\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103-\u0163i trimit\u0103 potera pe cap, s\u0103-\u0163i invadeze c\u0103minul. A, nu-\u0163i convine c\u0103 \u0163i-au spart, \u00een lipsa lor de ging\u0103\u015fie, por\u0163elanul de la bunic\u0103-ta, \u00een timp ce te cafteau pe baz\u0103 de “suspiciuni”?
\nMergem pe exemplul de mai sus:
\n“Lorena, \u015ftim c\u0103 ai avut un penis odat\u0103. Te batem p\u00e2n\u0103 ne comunici unde e acum”. R\u0103spunsul: “\u00cen anusul p\u0103ros \u015fi doldora de hemoroizi vine\u0163ii al m\u0103-tii” \u00eenseamn\u0103, evident, \u00eenchisoare. <\/p>\n

Remarc\u0103m \u015fi marele absent din aceast\u0103 fabuloas\u0103 pravil\u0103 a autorit\u0103\u0163ii \u00eent\u0103rite a organului. \u015ei anume, consecin\u0163a.
\nEi pot face orice. Absolut orice. Cu exact zero trageri la r\u0103spundere. Nu este definit\u0103 nic\u0103ieri grani\u0163a dintre comportament adecvat \u015fi abuz, respectiv penalit\u0103\u0163ile care decurg din faptul c\u0103 organul \u015fi-a exploatat abuziv autoritatea astfel \u00eent\u0103rit\u0103. <\/p>\n

Tu po\u0163i face \u00eenchisoare pentru o \u00eenjur\u0103tur\u0103 la adresa lor. Ei te pot por\u0163iona \u00een pungi de-un kilogram, dac\u0103 a\u015fa dore\u015fte autoritatea lor \u00eent\u0103rit\u0103 \u015fi chiar nu le place freza ta. Cu zero consecin\u0163e.
\nOrice jeg sadic care tortura c\u0103\u0163elu\u015fi \u00een copil\u0103rie s\u0103 se simt\u0103 important poate juca geamparale pe spinarea ta f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 r\u0103spund\u0103 pentru asta. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nu \u015ftiu dac\u0103 a remarcat cineva, ocupa\u0163i cum suntem cu scandalurile zilei, noul proiect de lege privitor la \u00eent\u0103rirea autorit\u0103\u0163ii organului. E fresh scos...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":13553,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13552","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/chiefw.jpeg?fit=400%2C400&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13552","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13552"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13552\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13555,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13552\/revisions\/13555"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13553"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13552"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13552"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13552"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}