Dup\u0103 cum probabil c\u0103 a\u0163i aflat, \u015fi dac\u0103 n-a\u0163i aflat, iat\u0103 ocazia, pe 23 noiembrie mai lans\u0103m cartea o dat\u0103. Va fi acela\u015fi concept, “lansare \u00een pat”, \u015fi dac\u0103 sunte\u0163i cumin\u0163i \u015fi veni\u0163i \u00een num\u0103r mare, pot organiza evenimentul cu oarecare regularitate \u015fi cu invita\u0163i noi de fiecare dat\u0103.
\n“Da, Lorena”, o s\u0103 sar\u0103 comentatorul 15, “dar vezi c\u0103 te suprapui cu Gaudeamus”.
\n“Ce plm e Gaudeamus?”, o s\u0103 \u00eentrebe unu’ care acum a cobor\u00e2t din copac.
\n“Gug\u0103\u0103\u0103\u0103l, b\u0103, boule!” o s\u0103 exclame urm\u0103torii cinci comentatori.
\nDar comentatoarea a \u015fasea o s\u0103 se milostiveasc\u0103 \u015fi o s\u0103-i explice.
\n“E t\u00e2rgul de carte de toamn\u0103, se \u0163ine la Romexpo, vin toate editurile”.
\n“Aha”, o s\u0103 zic\u0103 \u0103la care acum a cobor\u00e2t din copac \u015fi a nimerit direct \u00eentr-un router de wi-fi. “\u015ei de ce s\u0103 venim noi la tine \u015fi nu la Dau… Gadu… \u0103sta, cum \u00eei zice?” <\/p>\n
P\u0103i iat\u0103 de ce, stimat auditoriu. <\/p>\n
A) Avem intimitate <\/strong><\/p>\n Eu \u00eei admir, unul c\u00e2te unul, dar \u015fi \u00een grup, pe scriitorii care pot lansa la t\u00e2rgul de carte. Climat mai impropice unui eveniment cred c\u0103 nu g\u0103se\u015fti dec\u00e2t \u00een zona de bude ecologice a unui festival de var\u0103. B) Coiotu e de o frumuse\u0163e r\u0103pitoare<\/strong><\/p>\n Majoritatea prietenilor t\u0103i de Facebook au la profil poze de la majorat \u015fi, \u00een realitate, sunt ur\u00e2\u0163i ca un penis f\u0103r\u0103 erec\u0163ii. Solistul de la Trooper e exact invers. Deci, n-ave\u0163i cum s\u0103 nu vre\u0163i s\u0103 vede\u0163i \u015fi voi un b\u0103rbat frumos \u00een pijama. La o fa\u0163\u0103 ca asta, \u00eei dau s\u0103 citeasc\u0103 numai Erotice. Tot capitolul. <\/p>\n C) Odilia, la cei 50 de ani ai ei, are un corp mai sexy dec\u00e2t al meu. <\/strong><\/p>\n “Bine, Lorena”, o s\u0103 zic\u0103 \u0103la c\u0103zut din copac \u015fi nimerit \u00een router, “dar \u015fi frigiderul are un corp mai sexy dec\u00e2t al t\u0103u”. D) Nu ne credem mai de\u015ftep\u0163i dec\u00e2t tine<\/strong><\/p>\n Bine, dac\u0103 tu bubui de prost \u015fi \u0163ii neap\u0103rat s\u0103 te dai \u00een vileag, se poate \u00eent\u00e2mpla s\u0103 fim, dar va fi strict conjunctural.<\/p>\n E) Vom avea \u015fi cear\u015faf <\/strong> Honourable mentions <\/p>\n F) M\u00e2ncarea \u015fi b\u0103utura de la Clubul \u0162\u0103ranului sunt infinit mai bune \u015fi mai ieftine dec\u00e2t cele de la Cupola Romexpo. <\/strong><\/p>\n Pentru c\u0103 arta pe stomacul gol d\u0103uneaz\u0103 grav s\u0103n\u0103t\u0103\u0163ii. <\/p>\n G) Pia\u0163a Victoriei e mai accesibil\u0103 dec\u00e2t Pia\u0163a Presei Libere<\/strong><\/p>\n \u015ei po\u0163i s\u0103 mai \u0163ipi \u015fi o lozinc\u0103-dou\u0103 la ie\u015fire, dac\u0103 tot e\u015fti acolo. <\/p>\n A\u015fadar, te a\u015ftept\u0103m. 23 noiembrie, Clubul \u0162\u0103ranului, ora 18.30. Live and 100% unplugged. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Dup\u0103 cum probabil c\u0103 a\u0163i aflat, \u015fi dac\u0103 n-a\u0163i aflat, iat\u0103 ocazia, pe 23 noiembrie mai lans\u0103m cartea o dat\u0103. Va fi acela\u015fi concept,...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":13653,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13651","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/lorenacluba.jpg?fit=640%2C960&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13651","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13651"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13651\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13656,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13651\/revisions\/13656"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13653"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13651"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13651"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13651"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nToat\u0103 lumea url\u0103, s\u0103 se aud\u0103 de vecini, \u015fi la final nu se aude nici pulea. Pe de alt\u0103 parte, din punctul de vedere al spectatorului, aten\u0163ia se disperseaz\u0103 complet \u015fi nu ai putea sta fixat pe un singur eveniment nici dac\u0103 ar dansa Petronela striptease la bar\u0103. Sau poate de-abia atunci.
\nCartea e un obiect intim. Incompatibil cu vacarmul. Ia un fragment plin de sensuri subliminale \u015fi de inefabil, \u015fi url\u0103-l \u00een gura mare, la concurs cu ambii t\u0103i vecini, din st\u00e2nga \u015fi din dreapta, care au \u015fi ei lansare tot atunci. Moartea definitiv\u0103 a francului.
\nMai degrab\u0103 e crash test: c\u00e2t de prost poate suna o carte mugit\u0103 \u00een t\u00e2rg, \u00een paralel cu P\u0103rintele Pafnutie, care lanseaz\u0103 inton\u00e2nd nazal “Os\u00e2rdia bunului ortodox” la Editura “Cuvinte domoale”, \u00een st\u00e2nga ta, \u015fi cu o doamn\u0103 plinu\u0163\u0103 care scrie a cincea ei carte despre un divor\u0163 dureros \u015fi cum poate el s\u0103 foarfece sufletul ginga\u015f al femeii, mai ales abandonate pentru una t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103, la Editura “Amor autumnal”, \u00een dreapta ta.
\nIar asta e varianta fericit\u0103. Varianta na\u015fpa e s\u0103 vin\u0103 \u0103la de la standul vecin s\u0103 se zbor\u015feasc\u0103 la tine c\u0103 nu se aude lansarea lui de “prostiile tale”. Varianta superna\u015fpa e s\u0103 te \u015fi bat\u0103. <\/p>\n
\nAre o fa\u0163\u0103 at\u00e2t de frumoas\u0103 \u015fi o energie at\u00e2t de luminoas\u0103, \u00eenc\u00e2t r\u0103m\u00e2i prost.
\n“Pui poze false pe Facebook” l-am luat eu ieri, c\u00e2nd l-am cunoscut pe persoan\u0103 fizic\u0103.
\n“Huh?”
\n“\u00cen realitate, e\u015fti mult prea frumos \u015fi nu e corect.”
\nAm fost ieri la emisiune la Rock FM, unde Alin e prezentator, \u015fi dup\u0103 ce am ie\u015fit, am sunat-o pe Ivanna:
\n-Fratele meu alb, ce frumos e \u0103sta! Cred c\u0103 las\u0103 gagici \u00eens\u0103rcinate doar privindu-le.
\n-Da, categoric. P\u0103cat c\u0103 nu e foarte \u00eenalt.
\n-B\u0103i, problema nu e la el, problema e c\u0103 suntem noi macarale. Dar e lansare \u00een pat. Orizontala niveleaz\u0103, e ok.” <\/p>\n
\nAsta e, fr\u0103\u0163ie, dac\u0103 eram at\u00e2t de sexy, la ora asta f\u0103ceam prostitu\u0163ie de lux, nu literatur\u0103. Bune \u015fi defectele la ceva. \u00cennobileaz\u0103 spiritul.
\n\u00cen schimb, Odilia e sexy. Mi-a luat ochii de cum am v\u0103zut-o prima oar\u0103 la o lansare de carte \u015fi habar n-aveam cine este.
\nO femeie matur\u0103, dar care \u00ee\u015fi poart\u0103 maturitatea \u00eentr-un mod at\u00e2t de asumat \u015fi de elegant, \u00eenc\u00e2t \u00ee\u0163i vine s\u0103 strigi “Yeaaah, baby, yeaaah!”. De asemenea, e redactor-\u015fef la siteul Literatura de azi, dar n-a auzit-o nimeni vreodat\u0103 pompoas\u0103 \u015fi emfatic\u0103 la modul iritant.
\nApropo de pompo\u015fenie, vine \u015fi punctul urm\u0103tor <\/p>\n
\nPrietenul nostru Adi Daraban\u0103, \u015feful de la Clubul \u0162\u0103ranului, e entuziast \u00een privin\u0163a proiectului \u015fi contribuie cu un cear\u015faf de la IKEA.
\n“N-o s\u0103 fie alb, s\u0103 se vad\u0103 cum \u00eei lu\u0103m virginitatea Odiliei?”, am \u00eentrebat eu.
\n“Pot face rost \u015fi de unul alb, dac\u0103 vrei.”
\n“Nuuuuu. Era o glum\u0103. Via\u0163a e prea scurt\u0103 pentru cear\u015fafuri albe”. <\/p>\n