-D\u0103-te, fat\u0103, mai \u00eencolo. E\u015fti sufocant\u0103 cu toate vol\u0103na\u015fele tale.<\/p>\n
-Tu vorbe\u015fti? Sadomasochisto! M-ai \u00eempuns cu \u0163intele alea de c\u00e2nd am nimerit pe acela\u015fi umera\u015f.<\/p>\n
-M\u0103car voi ar\u0103ta\u0163i bine, eu \u00eempart umera\u015ful cu vechitura asta sinistr\u0103, pe care a cump\u0103rat-o Idioata la un eveniment ironic.<\/p>\n
-Vechituri sinistre sunte\u0163i tu cu m\u0103-ta. Crezi c\u0103 tu n-o s\u0103 ajungi \u00eentr-o zi la v\u00e2rsta mea. O s\u0103 ajungi, stai lini\u015ftit\u0103. \u015ei \u00een ritmul cu care se produc rochii \u015fi modele noi an de an, o s\u0103 fii dep\u0103\u015fit\u0103 moral mult mai repede dec\u00e2t mine. M\u0103car pe vremea mea, rochiile erau respectate. S\u0103 vezi cum o s\u0103 te sim\u0163i \u00eentr-un second hand, s\u0103 pu\u0163i a naftalin\u0103, s\u0103 se uite lumea la tine \u015fi s\u0103 nu vrea nici dracu’ s\u0103 te cumpere.<\/p>\n
-Dar mai taci, mamaie, c\u0103 ne-ai t\u00e2mpit de cap. Uite, eu \u00eempart umera\u015ful cu grasa asta \u015fi nu m\u0103 v\u0103ic\u0103resc at\u00e2ta.<\/p>\n
-Tu nici nu ai dreptul. C\u00e2nd semeni mai mult cu o plas\u0103 de pescuit dec\u00e2t cu ceva croit de o m\u00e2n\u0103 grijulie de femeie, nici nu \u015ftiu ce rahat cau\u0163i \u00een dulapul \u0103sta. Nu are Idioata ceva co\u015f special pentru unelte de agrement?<\/p>\n
-E\u015fti tu proast\u0103. Se nume\u015fte DANTEL\u0102.<\/p>\n
-Pe vremea mea, dantela se punea la m\u00e2necu\u0163e sau la decolteu, nu forma toat\u0103 rochia.<\/p>\n
-Pe vremea ta, oamenii se \u015ftergeau la fund cu p\u0103nu\u015fi de porumb. Ce noroc c\u0103 a trecut vremea ta.<\/p>\n
-Ba pe vremea mea, femeile aveau cinci rochii comandate la croitoreas\u0103, lucrate frumos, \u015fi erau m\u00e2ndre de ele. Le purtau la evenimente frumoase. Tu unde ai fost purtat\u0103 ultima oar\u0103?<\/p>\n
-Eu nici n-am fost purtat\u0103. M-a luat dintr-o toan\u0103, m-a probat, a morm\u0103it c\u0103 o fac s\u0103 arate gras\u0103 \u015fi nici m\u0103car nu mi-a alocat umera\u015f. M-a aruncat pe jos printre zdren\u0163e.<\/p>\n
-Eu am fost. La cea mai sinistr\u0103 pies\u0103 de teatru pe care \u0163i-ai putea-o imagina. E mai mult spectacol aici \u00een dulap dec\u00e2t pe scena aia.<\/p>\n
-Ce-ave\u0163i, b\u0103, crizatelor, a\u015fa de diminea\u0163\u0103. Nu poate omul s\u0103 doarm\u0103 de gura voastr\u0103.<\/p>\n
-P\u0103i da, \u0163ie-\u0163i convine c\u0103 tu e\u015fti de sear\u0103, e\u015fti pe fi\u0163e, ai umera\u015ful t\u0103u singur\u0103.<\/p>\n
-\u015ei dac\u0103-l am, ce? Nu tot \u00eenghesuit\u0103 stau? Dar eu sunt o intelectual\u0103, nu m\u0103 cobor la discu\u0163ii din astea.<\/p>\n
-Intelectual\u0103 pe naiba, parc\u0103 v\u0103d c\u0103 pe eticheta ta tot Li Wu scrie.<\/p>\n
-Ce ignorant\u0103 e\u015fti. Li Wu e un fast food, am fost io acolo s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na trecut\u0103.<\/p>\n
-P\u0103i da, c\u0103 tu e\u015fti de blugi, ai a\u015fa un aer inofensiv \u015fi te duce peste tot.<\/p>\n
-\u015ei ce-ai vrea s\u0103 fac\u0103 Idioata, s\u0103 se duc\u0103 la Li Wu \u00een tine? Tu care nu ajungi nici m\u0103car p\u00e2n\u0103 la jum\u0103tatea feselor?<\/p>\n
-Gen.<\/p>\n
-\u015ei s-o violeze \u015fapte clanuri mafioate p\u00e2n\u0103 acolo?<\/p>\n
-Hai c\u0103 n-o violeaz\u0103. Mai consimte \u015fi ea.<\/p>\n
-Cert e c\u0103 suntem prea multe.<\/p>\n
-Mult prea multe.<\/p>\n
-Claustrofobic de multe.<\/p>\n
-Cred c\u0103 ar trebui s\u0103 avem runde de eliminare ca-n reality show.<\/p>\n
-Veriga slab\u0103.<\/p>\n
-\u015ei cine ar fi veriga slab\u0103?<\/p>\n
-Tu, c\u0103 e\u015fti ur\u00e2t\u0103 cu spume.<\/p>\n
-Oi fi io ur\u00e2t\u0103 cu spume, dar m\u0103car m\u0103 poart\u0103.<\/p>\n
-Ur\u00e2\u0163enia e \u00een ochiul privitorului.<\/p>\n
-Mda. Mor\u0163ii lui de privitor.<\/p>\n
-Suntem multe, ar trebui s\u0103 mai arunce dintre noi. M\u0103car pe voi astea care o face\u0163i s\u0103 par\u0103 gras\u0103.<\/p>\n
-Nu, fat\u0103, noi doar suntem sincere.<\/p>\n
\u015ei u\u015fa se deschise. Rochiile t\u0103cur\u0103 \u00eensp\u0103im\u00e2ntate. M\u00e2na fatidic\u0103 scoase un umera\u015f cu dou\u0103 colege de suferin\u0163\u0103.<\/p>\n
-RIP.<\/p>\n
-\u015ei ce fete bune erau.<\/p>\n
-Cam boccii ele a\u015fa, dar bune.<\/p>\n
-S\u0103 le fie punga de plastic u\u015foar\u0103.<\/p>\n
M\u00e2na fatidic\u0103 reveni. Pe umera\u015f at\u00e2rnau cele dou\u0103 boccii \u015fi o nou\u0103 surat\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u00cen dulap se l\u0103s\u0103 o lini\u015fte grea. Noua venit\u0103, emo\u0163ionat\u0103 \u015fi pus\u0103 \u00een dificultate, se codi pu\u0163in, apoi d\u0103du din m\u00e2nec\u0103.<\/p>\n
-Black Friday.<\/p>\n
Foto: pixabay.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
-D\u0103-te, fat\u0103, mai \u00eencolo. E\u015fti sufocant\u0103 cu toate vol\u0103na\u015fele tale. -Tu vorbe\u015fti? Sadomasochisto! M-ai \u00eempuns cu \u0163intele alea de c\u00e2nd am nimerit pe acela\u015fi...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":13711,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13710","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/wedding-dresses-1486004_640.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13710","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13710"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13710\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13712,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13710\/revisions\/13712"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13711"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13710"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13710"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13710"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}