{"id":14046,"date":"2018-01-09T12:07:13","date_gmt":"2018-01-09T09:07:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=14046"},"modified":"2018-01-09T13:19:37","modified_gmt":"2018-01-09T10:19:37","slug":"lucruri-pentru-care-ar-trebui-sa-nu-i-mai-invinuim-pe-barbati-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/lucruri-pentru-care-ar-trebui-sa-nu-i-mai-invinuim-pe-barbati-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Lucruri pentru care ar trebui s\u0103 nu-i mai \u00eenvinuim pe b\u0103rba\u0163i &#8211; 1"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Am fost recent la un workshop de actorie. Un workshop interesant, \u0163inut de un artist de renume, cu colegi talenta\u0163i; o experien\u0163\u0103 superb\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei una dintre scenele pe care s-a lucrat a constat din urm\u0103toarea situa\u0163ie: O femeie se d\u0103dea insistent la un b\u0103rbat. \u00cel lua pe toate tonurile posibile: cu siropo\u015fenii, cu porco\u015fenii, cu insulte, cu diverse promisiuni, cu pove\u015fti doldora de innuendo care s\u0103-l provoace pe \u0103la indirect. Iar pozi\u0163ia lui era un refuz ferm, politicos dar neclintit.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei au \u00eenceput comentariile:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Ce fraier&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Ce bou&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Ce t\u00e2mpit&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Poate e poponar.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Poate e impotent.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Poate nu-\u015fi asum\u0103 dorin\u0163ele.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Apoi am intervenit \u015fi eu: &#8220;Dar dac\u0103 omul pur \u015fi simplu nu are chef de sex \u00een momentul \u0103la sau nu e atras de femeia respectiv\u0103? Mie mi se pare pur \u015fi simplu o persoan\u0103 vertical\u0103, care \u00ee\u015fi asum\u0103 c\u0103 nu e interesat. Empatizez cu acest personaj \u015fi nu v\u0103d de ce ar fi trebuit s\u0103 cedeze de convenien\u0163\u0103.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei lumea s-a g\u00e2ndit pu\u0163in \u015fi a admis: &#8220;E un punct de vedere. Chiar a\u015fa, omul poate nu e interesat \u015fi at\u00e2t.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>C\u00e2nd societatea le impune femeilor s\u0103 fie &#8220;duamne&#8221; \u015fi s\u0103 r\u0103spund\u0103 la orice \u0163ig\u0103nie cu un sur\u00e2s misterios de Monalis\u0103, le face un r\u0103u \u00eengrozitor la nivel psihologic. Idem, c\u00e2nd le impune b\u0103rba\u0163ilor s\u0103 fie aceste ma\u015fini sexuale interminabile, s\u0103 sar\u0103 la orice ciozv\u00e2rt\u0103 de sex ca ni\u015fte dul\u0103i fl\u0103m\u00e2nzi la o farfurie cu ciorb\u0103, mi se pare c\u0103 le neag\u0103 dreptul la a fi ei \u00een\u015fi\u015fi \u015fi a lua ra\u0163ional decizii.<\/p>\n<p>Evident, acela era un personaj, fic\u0163iune, nu avea cum s\u0103 fie jignit de condamnarea unanim\u0103 din primul val. \u00cen schimb, fiecare b\u0103iat dintre cei de fa\u0163\u0103, chiar \u015fi aceia care t\u0103ceau, au recep\u0163ionat mesajul c\u0103, dac\u0103 li se propune sex, trebuie s\u0103 accepte imediat, c\u0103 de nu, sunt boi, t\u00e2mpi\u0163i, homosexuali \u015fi impoten\u0163i. \u015ei c\u0103 valoarea lor de b\u0103rba\u0163i este dat\u0103 de disponibilitatea sexual\u0103 perpetu\u0103 \u015fi performan\u0163a aferent\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Fii b\u0103rbat.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Po\u0163i s\u0103 fii b\u0103rbat \u015fi spun\u00e2nd: &#8220;\u00cemi pare r\u0103u, nu vreau chestia asta.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Posesia unui penis trebuie obligatoriu s\u0103 implice statutul de ma\u015fin\u0103rie sexual\u0103 la orice or\u0103 din zi \u015fi din noapte? De ce s\u0103-i educ\u0103m pe b\u0103ie\u0163i cu aceast\u0103 mentalitate lihnit\u0103 \u015fi disperat\u0103, care, \u00een parantez\u0103 fie spus, le face at\u00e2t de mult r\u0103u \u00een primul r\u00e2nd lor, pentru c\u0103 sunt incapabili s\u0103 se apropie de femei ca de simpli oameni \u015fi pierd oportunit\u0103\u0163i interesante de interac\u0163iune cu 51% din popula\u0163ia p\u0103m\u00e2ntului?<\/p>\n<p>C\u00e2nd un b\u0103iet din \u0103sta \u00ee\u0163i scrie, zombificat de mentalitatea &#8220;femeia e un num\u0103r random de celule \u00een jurul unui vagin&#8221;, abordeaz\u0103 trei tonalit\u0103\u0163i posibile, \u015fi toate trei profund resping\u0103toare: o libidino\u015fenie insistent\u0103 \u015fi diabetic\u0103, o vulgaritate care-\u0163i strepeze\u015fte ficatul sau un \u015fir de insulte alt-rightarde, &#8220;s\u0103 te provoace&#8221;. Toate trei \u00eemi spun din start c\u0103 interac\u0163iunea cu f\u0103ptura aia e pierdere de vreme, c\u0103 creatura aia nu m\u0103 va privi niciodat\u0103 ca pe un om, \u015fi pur \u015fi simplu \u00eenchid comunicarea. Dac\u0103 e fa\u0163\u0103 \u00een fa\u0163\u0103, plec, iar dac\u0103 e online, dau block.<\/p>\n<p>Ceva \u00eemi spune c\u0103 nimeni nu s-a n\u0103scut a\u015fa. \u015ei c\u0103 nu simte \u00een mod real chestii de genul \u0103sta pentru o persoan\u0103, la un minut dup\u0103 interac\u0163iune.\u00a0 C\u0103 educa\u0163ia gre\u015fit\u0103, de ma\u015fin\u0103rie sexual\u0103, plus stresul acestei obliga\u0163ii de a performa, induc acest comportament st\u00e2njenitor, \u015fi c\u0103 acela care \u00eel presteaz\u0103 se simte pe undeva la fel de inoportun pe c\u00e2t m\u0103 simt eu ca receptor.<\/p>\n<p>Li se impune ideea c\u0103 valoarea de mascul &#8220;feroc&#8221; cre\u015fte odat\u0103 cu num\u0103rul de &#8220;cuceriri&#8221; \u015fi c\u0103 e chestiune de palmares s\u0103 abordeze la nimereal\u0103 oameni cu care nu are poate nimic \u00een comun,\u00a0 sau poate c\u0103 are, dar nu va afla niciodat\u0103, \u015fi s\u0103 extrag\u0103 cu insisten\u0163e sex. \u015ei de aceea, refuzul e perceput ca o lovitur\u0103 \u00een orgoliu. Ca \u015fi cum, spun\u00e2ndu-le &#8220;nu&#8221;, nu \u0163i-ai exersa un drept de decizie firesc, ci i-ai deposeda pe ei de ceva ce li se cuvine.<\/p>\n<p>Valoarea real\u0103 a unui b\u0103rbat, sau a unei femei, de altfel, chiar NU depinde de presta\u0163iile sexuale. Ci de tot ce face \u00een afara patului. De lucrurile pe care le poate schimba \u00een bine, pentru propria persoan\u0103 \u015fi pentru al\u0163ii. De modul \u00een care \u00ee\u015fi poate face fiecare secund\u0103 din via\u0163\u0103 valoroas\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Iar dac\u0103 ar disp\u0103rea genul de educa\u0163ie despre care vorbesc, cred c\u0103 nu s-ar relaxa doar femeile, ci \u00een primul r\u00e2nd b\u0103rba\u0163ii \u00een\u015fi\u015fi. S\u0103 nu-\u0163i mai ag\u0103\u0163i &#8220;valoarea de mascul&#8221; de acceptarea sau refuzul sexului, ci de lucruri care depind \u00eentr-adev\u0103r de poten\u0163ialul t\u0103u uman trebuie s\u0103 fie o mare u\u015furare.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Am fost recent la un workshop de actorie. Un workshop interesant, \u0163inut de un artist de renume, cu colegi talenta\u0163i; o experien\u0163\u0103 superb\u0103. \u015ei&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14047,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14046","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/degete.jpg?fit=1280%2C934&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14046","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14046"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14046\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14050,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14046\/revisions\/14050"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14047"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14046"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14046"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14046"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}