{"id":14155,"date":"2018-01-23T13:48:30","date_gmt":"2018-01-23T10:48:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=14155"},"modified":"2018-01-23T13:48:30","modified_gmt":"2018-01-23T10:48:30","slug":"raspundem-cititorilor-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/raspundem-cititorilor-2\/","title":{"rendered":"R\u0103spundem cititorilor"},"content":{"rendered":"

“Lorena, referitor la articolul t\u0103u, cu familia tradi\u0163ional\u0103, am c\u00e2teva comentarii \u015fi \u00eentreb\u0103ri, curiozit\u0103\u0163i personale, ai putea sa le spui. Sunt de acord cu textul \u00een sine \u015fi cu ceea ce propune. Nu am nimic \u00eempotriva egalit\u0103\u0163ii \u00eentre sexe, \u00een emanciparea femeii. E normal s\u0103 fii liber \u015fi s\u0103 te bucuri de independen\u0163a muncii proprii. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Ce faci atunci c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u0163i arogi o independen\u0163\u0103 mai mare dec\u00e2t e normal? Adic\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd, din prea mult\u0103 independen\u0163\u0103, \u00ee\u0163i men\u0163ii un grad de libertate \u015fi promiscuitate, de\u015fi oficial e\u015fti cu cineva, ajungi s\u0103 ai un copil. E cazul so\u0163iei mele, cu care sunt de opt ani de zile. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Anul acesta, am aflat c\u0103 a \u0163inut anumite rela\u0163ii ascunse, cu b\u0103rba\u0163i, din trecutul ei, posibil s\u0103 m\u0103 fi \u00een\u015felat de mai multe ori. Dac\u0103 au fost semne? Au fost, c\u0103ci mai tot timpul am sim\u0163it-o c\u0103 nu se implic\u0103 prea mult \u00een rela\u0163ia noastr\u0103, dar am pus-o pe seama faptului c\u0103 am stat cu mama ei, tot timpul acestei rela\u0163ii. Sunt unele lucruri pe care le comunici c\u00e2nd intri \u00eentr-o rela\u0163ie, mie \u00eemi place asta \u015fi asta. \u015ei \u00eel la\u015fi pe cel\u0103lalt s\u0103 zic\u0103 da sau nu. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Dar ea a pozat \u00een femeia care \u015fi-a ales o singur\u0103 persoan\u0103, \u00een timp ce, \u00een realitate, a fost altfel. Ce faci \u00een situa\u0163ia asta? \u00cen\u0163eleg conceptul, via\u0163a mea, efortul meu, fac ce \u015ftiu cu ele… dar p\u00e2n\u0103 unde duci independen\u0163a \u015fi libertatea asta? Te intreb pe tine ca femeie. Sincer, nu aveam nici o problem\u0103 dac\u0103 mi se spunea deschis, uite a\u015fa \u015fi a\u015fa, eram liber s\u0103 aleg. Eu, unul, m\u0103 simt \u00een\u015felat, simt c\u0103 am stat l\u00e2ng\u0103 un om opt ani de zile \u015fi nu \u00eel mai cunosc deloc. \u00cei cunosc exteriorul, dar interiorul…”\u00a0<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

Drag\u0103 cititorule,<\/p>\n

\u00cemi pare extrem, dar extrem de r\u0103u pentru ceea ce \u0163i se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103. E firesc s\u0103 te sim\u0163i tr\u0103dat \u015fi p\u0103c\u0103lit, mai ales c\u0103 tu te-ai d\u0103ruit onest \u00een rela\u0163ie, iar partenera ta, din c\u00e2te \u00een\u0163eleg, te-a folosit pe post de pav\u0103z\u0103 \u00eempotriva singur\u0103t\u0103\u0163ii \u015fi cam at\u00e2t. Sunt nenum\u0103ra\u0163i oameni care se arunc\u0103 \u00een rela\u0163ii strict “s\u0103 aib\u0103 \u015fi ei pe cineva”, \u015fi tocmai pentru c\u0103 nu o fac din convingere intim\u0103, ci din presiune social\u0103, rezultatul e acest tip de dublu joc.<\/p>\n

Ce m\u0103 deranjeaz\u0103 teribil e c\u0103 pui semnul egalit\u0103\u0163ii \u00eentre independen\u0163\u0103 \u015fi promiscuitate. Independen\u0163a nu exclude responsabilitatea, dimpotriv\u0103. Un om cu adev\u0103rat independent e acela care face alegeri asumate, c\u00e2nd spune “nu”, e un “nu” pe care nu-l zdrobesc nici tancurile, iar c\u00e2nd spune “da”, e un “da” convins, implicat \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 alte limite dec\u00e2t acelea ale, s\u0103 zicem, decen\u0163ei. (\u00cen sensul c\u0103 iube\u015fti un om, dar nu sari de pe bloc pentru o toan\u0103 a lui.)<\/p>\n

Paradoxal, minciuna \u015fi duplicitatea sunt mai degrab\u0103 consecin\u0163e ale unei mentalit\u0103\u0163i servile. C\u00e2nd vrei s\u0103 mul\u0163ume\u015fti pe toat\u0103 lumea. S\u0103 fii \u015fi pu\u0163in so\u0163ie, c\u0103 a\u015fa d\u0103 bine social, \u015fi pu\u0163in curv\u0103, c\u0103 a\u015fa d\u0103 bine sentimental. \u015ei, dimpotriv\u0103, \u00een secunda \u00een care solici\u0163i o comunicare deschis\u0103, tu invi\u0163i la un nivel de independen\u0163\u0103 \u015fi de asumare superior.<\/p>\n

Nu \u00een ultimul r\u00e2nd, dac\u0103 so\u0163ia ta te \u00een\u015fal\u0103, nu o face din cauza emancip\u0103rii femeii, nici din cauza dreptului la un loc de munc\u0103, nici din cauza egalit\u0103\u0163ii sexelor. Te \u00een\u015fal\u0103 pentru c\u0103 nu te iube\u015fte suficient. Te-ar fi \u00een\u015felat, poate cu mai mult\u0103 m\u0103iestrie, \u015fi \u00eentr-o societate patriarhal\u0103 clasic\u0103. Pe c\u00e2nd o femeie care te iube\u015fte \u0163i-ar fi r\u0103mas loial\u0103 \u015fi \u00eentr-un ipotetic matriarhat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Lorena, referitor la articolul t\u0103u, cu familia tradi\u0163ional\u0103, am c\u00e2teva comentarii \u015fi \u00eentreb\u0103ri, curiozit\u0103\u0163i personale, ai putea sa le spui. Sunt de acord cu...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":13001,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14155","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/email.jpg?fit=602%2C689&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14155","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14155"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14155\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14157,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14155\/revisions\/14157"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13001"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14155"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14155"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14155"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}