De c\u00e2te ori are loc o crim\u0103, un gest de violen\u0163\u0103 extrem\u0103, sau orice alt\u0103 form\u0103 de abuz domestic care ne \u00eenfurie, ne oripileaz\u0103 \u015fi ne face s\u0103 scr\u00e2\u015fnim din\u0163ii a neputin\u0163\u0103, avem aceea\u015fi reac\u0163ie: “De ce nu l-a p\u0103r\u0103sit pe nemernic? De ce a stat cu el?”<\/p>\n
Un posibil r\u0103spuns a venit \u00eentr-un comentariu absolut sf\u00e2\u015fietor al unei cititoare pe nume Andreea Ion.<\/p>\n
“Societatea “pedepse\u015fte” femeile singure \u00een mii de feluri, \u00eencep\u00e2nd cu faptul c\u0103 via\u0163a lor social\u0103 e zero \u015fi to\u0163i cei c\u0103s\u0103tori\u0163i le evit\u0103, inclusiv prietenii c\u0103s\u0103tori\u0163i, de bun\u0103voie sau sub influen\u0163a partenerului, \u015fi termin\u00e2nd cu meseria\u015fii de toate felurile care le jupoaie, de la instalator \u015fi zugrav, p\u00e2n\u0103 la agentul imobiliar. Presiunea social\u0103 pentru a fi “\u00een r\u00e2ndul lumii” este imens\u0103. Mai mult dec\u00e2t at\u00e2t, presiunea o resimt \u015fi copiii femeilor divor\u0163ate. Adesea \u015fi via\u0163a lor social\u0103 sufer\u0103 pentru c\u0103 sunt crescu\u0163i de o mam\u0103 singur\u0103 – spre exemplu, nu sunt invita\u0163i la petreceri ale colegilor, ceea ce, pentru un copil, duce la foarte mult\u0103 suferin\u0163\u0103.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
<\/p>\n
C\u00e2t adev\u0103r, c\u00e2t\u0103 triste\u0163e.<\/p>\n
Precizez c\u0103 eu nu resimt toate aceste aspecte pentru c\u0103, pe de o parte, Bucure\u015ftiul e plin de oameni la fel de singuri, \u015fi pe de alta, c\u00e2nd ai un blog de succes, curg invita\u0163iile la petreceri mici, petreceri mari, petreceri de lux, ceaiuri dansante, spectacole, conferin\u0163e, \u015fi a\u015fa mai departe. Dac\u0103 m-a\u015f duce peste tot, a\u015f avea mai mult\u0103 via\u0163\u0103 social\u0103 dec\u00e2t via\u0163\u0103 individual\u0103.<\/p>\n
Dar I see your point \u015fi ai mare dreptate.<\/p>\n
Am o prieten\u0103 care a divor\u0163at recent de un tip. N-o b\u0103tea, n-o abuza, pur \u015fi simplu cheltuia to\u0163i banii familiei (pu\u015fi la comun) pe diverse c\u00e2rlige sofisticate de pescuit \u015fi undi\u0163e scumpe din str\u0103in\u0103tate, \u015fi n-aveau ce m\u00e2nca ultimele dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni, ceea ce, dup\u0103 o lun\u0103 de munc\u0103 grea, poate fi infuriating. L-a rugat o dat\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eencerce o bugetare a banilor – at\u00e2t pentru \u00eentre\u0163inere, lumin\u0103, net \u015fi m\u00e2ncare, \u00een rest poate cheltui lini\u015ftit. Nimic. L-a rugat a doua oar\u0103. Nimic.<\/p>\n
Pentru c\u0103, din c\u00e2te am observat, mul\u0163i b\u0103rba\u0163i formeaz\u0103 o surzenie cu totul ie\u015fit\u0103 din comun fa\u0163\u0103 de so\u0163iile lor. Subit, argumentele acestora, oric\u00e2t de logice \u015fi de \u00eentemeiate, \u00eenceteaz\u0103 a mai fi informa\u0163ii care s\u0103 merite luate \u00een considerare, ci sunt reduse\u00a0 \u00een vrac la statutul “cic\u0103leal\u0103.” \u015ei cu asta, nemul\u0163umirea adeseori justificat\u0103 a partenerei e transformat\u0103 \u00eentr-o vin\u0103 care i se imputeaz\u0103 tot ei.<\/p>\n
Ca \u015fi cum ar fi sub demnitatea lui de mascul feroc s\u0103 asculte ce \u00eencearc\u0103 aia s\u0103 transmit\u0103: gen, c\u0103 nu e ok s\u0103 st\u0103m \u00eemprumuta\u0163i dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni din patru, c\u00e2nd avem am\u00e2ndoi salarii, \u015fi ea e de vin\u0103, c\u0103 nu se \u00eempac\u0103 pur \u015fi simplu cu situa\u0163ia.<\/p>\n
Bun. \u015ei i-a zis omului o dat\u0103, i-a zis de dou\u0103 ori, apoi l-a luat frumos de toart\u0103, s-au dus la notar \u015fi au divor\u0163at amiabil. El a devenit liber s\u0103 f*t\u0103 c\u00e2\u0163i bani \u00eei poftea inima pe c\u00e2rlige, ea, s\u0103-\u015fi gestioneze corect salariul \u015fi s\u0103 nu mai fie datoare nim\u0103nui.<\/p>\n
Numai c\u0103, din secunda \u00een care a avut actul de divor\u0163at\u0103 \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103, s-a transformat \u00een elementul inexistent al societ\u0103\u0163ii. Fo\u015ftii prieteni comuni i-au \u00eentors to\u0163i spatele. “Unii, din solidaritate cu exul, pentru c\u0103 am fost o javr\u0103 cic\u0103litoare \u015fi n-am respectat dreptul omului s\u0103-mi cheltuie to\u0163i banii pe prostii. Al\u0163ii, din gelozie feminin\u0103, pentru c\u0103, dac\u0103 e\u015fti femeie singur\u0103, toate proastele se tem c\u0103 vrei s\u0103 le furi b\u0103rbatul.”<\/p>\n
\u015ei ca ea sunt foarte, foarte, foarte multe femei.<\/p>\n
Partea cu copiii crescu\u0163i de o mam\u0103 singur\u0103 am resim\u0163it-o eu pe pielea mea. De la lipsa constant\u0103 de bani, \u015fi faptul c\u0103 nu aveam niciodat\u0103 haine noi – mi-ai fi putut pune porecla Vasilica Second Hand – \u015fi p\u00e2n\u0103 la remarcile nesim\u0163ite despre cum mama n-a \u015ftiut “s\u0103-l \u0163in\u0103 pe tata”, emanate de orice idiot sau idioat\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 ocupa\u0163ie. Eterna \u00eentrebare “Ce lucreaz\u0103 p\u0103rin\u0163ii t\u0103i?”, de c\u00e2te ori intrai \u00een casa altui copil. Ca s\u0103 \u015ftie adultul dac\u0103 te califici pentru un ceai sau v\u0103 juca\u0163i a\u015fa, pe uscat. Eternele sfaturi t\u00e2mpite: “Acum, c\u0103 m\u0103-ta e singur\u0103, s\u0103 nu te apuci de droguri sau ceva.” (Din ce bani, idiotule? Drogurile sunt scumpe, bovin\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103l\u0163at\u0103. Eu mi-a\u015f fi dorit bani de Coca – Cola.)<\/p>\n
E un stigmat pe care, ca s\u0103-l putem \u00eenl\u0103tura, trebuie \u00eenainte de toate s\u0103-l con\u015ftientiz\u0103m.<\/p>\n
Alte fete divor\u0163ate pe care le \u015ftiu formeaz\u0103 g\u0103\u015fti de prietene. Ies \u00eempreun\u0103 \u00een ora\u015f, se distreaz\u0103 copios \u015fi-\u015fi ofer\u0103 sprijin una alteia. “Poate se legalizeaz\u0103 c\u0103s\u0103toria aia gay odat\u0103, \u015fi ne m\u0103rit\u0103m \u00eentre noi”, glumesc ele.<\/p>\n
Foto: pixabay.com<\/p>\n
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