{"id":14202,"date":"2018-01-31T13:24:30","date_gmt":"2018-01-31T10:24:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=14202"},"modified":"2018-01-31T13:25:13","modified_gmt":"2018-01-31T10:25:13","slug":"premiile-ce-a-fost-in-mintea-lor-grammy-awards-2018","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/premiile-ce-a-fost-in-mintea-lor-grammy-awards-2018\/","title":{"rendered":"Premiile “Ce-a fost \u00een mintea lor”, Grammy Awards, 2018"},"content":{"rendered":"

Am remarcat c\u0103 v\u0103 distreaz\u0103 foarte tare acest format de articol. \u00cen care ne uit\u0103m la vestimenta\u0163ia care acoper\u0103, sau eventual descoper\u0103 corpul divin al c\u00e2te unei zei\u0163e, \u015fi reconstituim procesul mintal care a dus la decizia de a purta respectiva \u0163inut\u0103.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Drept care, azi arunc\u0103m o privire la Grammy Awards.<\/p>\n

Grammy Awards sunt pentru industria muzical\u0103 american\u0103 ceea ce e Kanye pentru Kim, nunta pentru l\u0103utari \u015fi opt martie pentru mamele noastre ale tuturor. Adic\u0103 un prilej de celebrare, party \u015fi afterparty, pomp\u0103 \u015fi lux, \u015fi, desigur, o oportunitate de a flutura textila scump\u0103 de designer.<\/p>\n

Unii au ar\u0103tat ca sco\u015fi din cutie iar al\u0163ii, dup\u0103 specificul acestei rubricu\u0163e, ca slobozi\u0163i din cu\u015fc\u0103. \u00cen cele ce urmeaz\u0103, vom examina c\u00e2te un astfel de faux-pas fe\u015f\u0103nistic \u015fi vom deduce ce dialog l-a precedat.<\/p>\n

1. Cardi B (foto deschidere)<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

-Iubi?
\n-Da.
\n-M-au contactat iar \u0103ia de la Izol\u0103ri Locuin\u0163e s\u0103 fiu ambasadorul lor de brand. \u015ei pl\u0103tesc o c\u0103ciul\u0103 de bani.
\n-Foarte tare. Party!
\n-P\u0103i da, m\u0103i, iubi, dar nu prea \u015ftiu cum s\u0103 promovez eu spuma de izolat locuin\u0163e. Eu sunt o femeie simpl\u0103, rochi\u0163e, pantofi, rujule\u0163e, parfumele.
\n-Stai pu\u0163in s\u0103-mi iau furtunul.<\/p>\n

2. Jaden Smith<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

-Gie, maz\u0103rfac\u0103r, gie!
\n-Ce faci, fiule?
\n-Nu se vede, b\u0103i, mo\u015fule? O ard faching cool, gie!
\n-Aha.
\n-Am fost la Armata Salv\u0103rii, gie, \u015fi am adunat un sac de \u0163oale vechi, le-am h\u0103cuit \u015fi am amenin\u0163at-o pe Juanita Rosa c\u0103, dac\u0103 nu mi le coase p\u0103 treling, o trimitem \u00eenapoi \u00een Mexic.
\n-Da, fiule, dar nu te pot l\u0103sa s\u0103 ie\u015fi a\u015fa din cas\u0103. Ar\u0103\u0163i ca un cocalar s\u0103m\u00e2n\u0163ar din Ferentari, Bucure\u015fti, Rom\u00e2nia.
\n-A\u015fa ai zis \u015fi c\u00e2nd a fost vorba s\u0103-mi fac cont pe Twitter \u015fi s\u0103 impresionez universul cu valoarea mea, gie! Du\u015fmanii-mi poart\u0103 pic\u0103, gie! Jaden Smith is in da house, Gie.
\n-Nu, nu relu\u0103m discu\u0163ia asta.
\n-Ba o relu\u0103m. Sau m\u0103 la\u015fi dreq \u00een pace s\u0103 \u00eemi exprim personalitatea colorat\u0103, sau reamintesc tabloidelor c\u0103 tu ai c\u00e2ntat Boom Shake Shake Shake The Room. <\/p>\n

3. Coco Austin <\/strong>
\nnevast\u0103 de Ice-T. <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

-Ice-T, hai s\u0103 facem roleplay.
\n-Femeie, ai \u00eennebunit? Trebuie s\u0103 plec\u0103m la Grammy’s, s\u0103 s\u0103rb\u0103torim \u00eenc\u0103 \u00een an de irelevan\u0163\u0103 \u00een cariera mea.
\n-Ice-T, tu e\u015fti b\u0103tr\u00e2n. Rapul e ca patinajul artistic. Cool la 20 de ani, dar jenant la 40. \u015ei altceva dec\u00e2t s\u0103 zici cuvinte repede \u015fi ritmat nu \u015ftii.
\n-Da, femeie. Mi-am asumat asta. De aceea mi-am luat p\u0103pu\u015f\u0103 gonflabil\u0103 \u015fi am rugat ni\u015fte cercet\u0103tori englezi s-o cipeze cu abilitatea de a fplosi limbaj de 2000 de cuvinte de baz\u0103.
\n-Aaaaaa, de-aia n-am amintiri din copil\u0103rie.
\n-P\u0103i vezi c\u0103 \u015ftii?
\n-\u015ei de-aia am nostagii c\u00e2nd trec pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 sex shopul din col\u0163.
\n-P\u0103i vezi c\u0103 \u015ftii?
\n-Apropo de sex shopul din col\u0163, mi-am luat rochi\u0163a asta. A fost vecin\u0103 de raft cu mine. Ne juc\u0103m de-a feti\u0163a cea obraznic\u0103 \u015fi big daddy rapper cu bani f\u0103r\u0103 num\u0103r.
\n-Femeie, insist! Trebuie s\u0103 plec\u0103m la Gra…
\n-Ne juc\u0103m acolo, ce-are? <\/p>\n

4. Heidi Klum <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

-Alo, Coco, Ice-T!!
\n-Ce vrei, tanti?
\n-Am auzit c\u0103 discuta\u0163i ceva de un sex shop.
\n-\u0102\u0103\u0103, noi nu, vi s-a p\u0103rut, era doar v\u00e2ntul care r\u0103st\u0103lm\u0103cea sunete.
\n-Hai, m\u0103, c\u0103 suntem \u00eentre noi. Discuta\u0163i ceva de un sex shop, bag m\u00e2na \u00een foc. M\u00e2na mea superb\u0103 de fotomodel.
\n-Da, ok. Ne mai f*tem \u015fi noi, ca oamenii. \u015ei?
\n-A\u015f dori \u015fi eu adresa, dac\u0103 se poate. <\/p>\n

5. P!nk<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

-Pfff, tocmai am sc\u0103pat sos de pizza \u015fi whisky pe rochia haute couture pe care mi-au trimis-o \u0103\u015ftia. Trebuie neap\u0103rat s\u0103 dau o fug\u0103 la magazin, s\u0103 \u00eencropesc ceva. Pfff, au deschis Decora\u0163ii pentru locuin\u0163\u0103? No, nu conteaz\u0103. Vedem ce putem s\u0103 facem. Bun\u0103 ziua, doamn\u0103.
\n-Aoleeeu, Pink la noi \u00een magazin, ce onoare, un autograf, v\u0103 rog.
\n-S\u0103 trecem peste polite\u0163uri \u015fi formalit\u0103\u0163i, doamn\u0103. P\u0103m\u0103tufuri pentru praf ave\u0163i?
\n-Da, cum. Tocmai a venit un stoc din China. P\u0103m\u0103tufuri Unik0rn.
\n-\u00cel cump\u0103r.
\n-Pe toate? Sunt 600 de buc\u0103\u0163i. Sigur, cost\u0103 10 cen\u0163i fiecare \u015fi se vor dezintegra firesc la primul contact cu un acarian, dar m\u0103car sunt colorate frumos.
\n-Da, pe toate. \u015ei repede!
\n-Altceva?
\n-\u015ei perdeaua aia de du\u015f din plastic, v\u0103 rog. S\u0103 am pe ce s\u0103 le cos.
\n-Pofti\u0163i, pofti\u0163i.
\n-\u015ei, pentru completarea lookului de covor ro\u015fu, vreau ni\u015fte \u015flapi negri cu toc. Chinezii \u0103\u015ftia au lansat anul trecut tene\u015fii cu toc, era momentul s\u0103 pun\u0103 toc \u015fi la \u015flapi. Cam asta ar fi.
\n-\u015ei cum o s\u0103-i zice\u0163i outfitului?
\n-“C\u0103su\u0163a noastr\u0103\u0103\u0103\u0103, cuibu\u015for de nebuniiiii.” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Am remarcat c\u0103 v\u0103 distreaz\u0103 foarte tare acest format de articol. \u00cen care ne uit\u0103m la vestimenta\u0163ia care acoper\u0103, sau eventual descoper\u0103 corpul divin...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14207,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"video","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14202","post","type-post","status-publish","format-video","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy","post_format-post-format-video"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/cardi-b-1517182140.jpg?fit=800%2C1000&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14202","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14202"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14202\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14212,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14202\/revisions\/14212"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14207"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14202"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14202"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14202"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}