{"id":14301,"date":"2018-02-12T12:02:01","date_gmt":"2018-02-12T09:02:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=14301"},"modified":"2018-02-12T12:02:01","modified_gmt":"2018-02-12T09:02:01","slug":"raspundem-cititorilor-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/raspundem-cititorilor-3\/","title":{"rendered":"R\u0103spundem cititorilor"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote><p><em><strong>Drag\u0103 Lorena,\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>\u015etiu c\u0103 mult\u0103 lume te freac\u0103 la cap cu t\u00e2mpenii.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>(Pe mine? Nu, deloc, nu \u015ftiu de unde \u0163i-a venit ideea asta. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none; overflow: hidden;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/plugins\/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fphoto.php%3Ffbid%3D203550160381795%26set%3Da.116505775752901.1073741828.100021804376666%26type%3D3&amp;width=500\" width=\"500\" height=\"377\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><em><strong>Dar eu chiar a\u015f avea nevoie de un sfat.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Am o prieten\u0103. O fat\u0103 de pus pe ran\u0103. Frumoas\u0103, bun\u0103, bl\u00e2nd\u0103, ca un \u00eenger. Pur \u015fi simplu, n-ai ce s\u0103-i repro\u015fezi. De c\u00e2teva luni, s-a combinat cu un m\u00e2rlan care o trateaz\u0103 absolut oribil, \u00eei vorbe\u015fte \u00een ultimul hal, o face s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng\u0103 \u00een fiecare zi, iar ea nu-l p\u0103r\u0103se\u015fte.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Ce s\u0103 fac s\u0103-mi salvez prietena?\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Te pup \u015fi te citesc.&#8221;\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>*<\/p>\n<p>Draga mea,<\/p>\n<p>De c\u00e2te ori sare c\u00e2te o tanti de pe bloc, sar odat\u0103 cu ea o mie de guri rele s\u0103 acuze: membrii de familie, prietenii, autorit\u0103\u0163ile, mersul trenurilor \u015fi cotele apelor Dun\u0103rii, c\u0103 &#8220;cineva trebuia s\u0103 fac\u0103 ceva.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Reac\u0163ia este emo\u0163ional\u0103, desigur, pentru c\u0103 to\u0163i am vrea s\u0103 fim salva\u0163i \u00een ora disper\u0103rii supreme, c\u00e2nd ne urc\u0103m pe bloc. Dar reac\u0163ia este \u015fi stupid\u0103, \u015fi nedreapt\u0103, pentru c\u0103 oamenii nu-s ghicitori de g\u00e2nduri \u015fi dac\u0103 nu le ceri explicit ajutorul, n-au ce s\u0103 fac\u0103. \u015ei mai mult, singurul om care te poate salva de pe bloc e\u015fti tu \u00eensu\u0163i, lu\u00e2nd decizia ferm\u0103 c\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i asumi controlul asupra propriei vie\u0163i.<\/p>\n<p>Ce \u00eencerc s\u0103 spun cu asta e c\u0103 nu po\u0163i salva oameni care nu vor ei \u00een\u015fi\u015fi cu t\u0103rie s\u0103 fie salva\u0163i.<\/p>\n<p>Iar legat de rela\u0163ii abuzive, au murit miliarde de copaci de c\u00e2te c\u0103r\u0163i s-au publicat, legat de modul cum persoana toxic\u0103 detecteaz\u0103 \u00een interac\u0163iune punctul slab al poten\u0163ialei victime, nesiguran\u0163ele ei \u015fi temerile ei, \u015fi cum erodeaz\u0103 pas cu pas stima de sine a persoanei abuzate, profit\u00e2nd de acestea. A\u015f compara acest gen de abuz cu o carie \u00een integritatea \u015fi respectul de sine ale victimei.<\/p>\n<p>Problema e c\u0103, dup\u0103 cum bine \u015ftim, cu c\u00e2t ai din\u0163ii mai ruina\u0163i, cu at\u00e2t \u0163i-e mai fric\u0103 \u015fi ru\u015fine s\u0103 te duci la dentist, pentru c\u0103 te \u00eentrebi cu groaz\u0103 ce va crede omul despre tine \u015fi dac\u0103 a mai v\u0103zut a\u015fa ceva \u00een via\u0163a lui.<\/p>\n<p>Multe femei au fost educate c\u0103 rostul lor \u00een via\u0163\u0103 e s\u0103 fie &#8220;luate de cineva&#8221;. C\u0103 nu-\u015fi sunt suficiente ele lor, c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 fie &#8220;ale cuiva&#8221;. Datorit\u0103 acestei educa\u0163ii, aceste femei se tem de singur\u0103tate ca de cancer. \u015ei-\u015fi spun zilnic c\u0103, oric\u00e2t de \u00eengrozitor e Gogu, m\u0103car e acolo, \u015fi c\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 Gogu, via\u0163a lor ar fi inutil\u0103 \u015fi cr\u00e2ncen\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Realitatea e c\u0103 ne petrecem primii 25 de ani din via\u0163\u0103 fugind de singur\u0103tate ca de dracu&#8217;, \u00eenghi\u0163ind g\u0103le\u0163i de c***t ca s\u0103 nu r\u0103m\u00e2nem singure. Apoi, pentru c\u0103 nimic nu e mai nesexy dec\u00e2t disperarea, inevitabil r\u0103m\u00e2nem singure.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei dup\u0103 ce ne lini\u015ftim \u015fi ne organiz\u0103m priorit\u0103\u0163ile, descoperim c\u0103 facem mult mai multe lucruri, pe toate planurile, \u00een noua noastr\u0103 calitate de oameni singuri. C\u0103 nu trebuie, \u00een fiecare secund\u0103, s\u0103 ne justific\u0103m ce facem \/ ce nu facem \/ unde vrem s\u0103 mergem \/ dar oare sigur mergem acolo \u015fi nu la f***t (c\u0103ci, se \u015ftie, de c\u00e2te ori o femeie iese din cas\u0103, pentru anumite categorii de masculi ea se duce automat la f***t. )<\/p>\n<p>C\u0103 nu trebuie s\u0103 ne aliniem la hobby-urile, pl\u0103cerile, ideile fixe ale altuia, c\u0103 nu trebuie s\u0103 ascult\u0103m muzica altuia \u015fi nu trebuie s\u0103 ne ab\u0163inem de la lucruri care ne plac, doar pentru c\u0103 altul are o problem\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei c\u0103, pe scurt, singur\u0103tatea de care fugeam e de fapt o stare de pace, nu un blestem.<\/p>\n<p>Apoi, \u00een urm\u0103torii ani, \u00eencepem s\u0103 iubim cu at\u00e2ta pasiune singur\u0103tatea, c\u0103 gre\u015fim invers: respingem chiar b\u0103rba\u0163i care ar putea fi sufletele noastre pereche, doar pentru c\u0103 ne e lene s\u0103 re\u00eenv\u0103\u0163\u0103m arta compromisului.<\/p>\n<p>Revenind la prietena ta: decizia de a ie\u015fi din abuz e a ei, nu a ta. \u015ei insisten\u0163a e contraproductiv\u0103 \u00een acest caz. Ba mai r\u0103u, dac\u0103 e \u015fi prostu\u0163\u0103, o s\u0103 aib\u0103 impresia c\u0103 tu de fapt \u00eel pl\u0103ceai pe masculul feroc \u015fi c\u0103utai s-o convingi s\u0103-l lase, s\u0103 \u00eel iei tu, s\u0103 te abuzeze pe tine.<\/p>\n<p>Ce po\u0163i s\u0103 faci e s-o sco\u0163i frecvent \u00een ora\u015f, la film \u015fi \u00een alte locuri, s\u0103-i c\u00e2\u015ftigi c\u00e2teva ore de pauz\u0103 de sub jugul rela\u0163iei abuzive. Recomand filmul, pentru c\u0103 e o activitate t\u0103cut\u0103, \u015fi ca atare, tinde s\u0103-i lase pe oameni singuri cu g\u00e2ndurile lor. Recomand filmul de art\u0103 rom\u00e2nesc, pentru c\u0103 are un ritm lent de dezvoltare a intrigii \u015fi \u00eei d\u0103 omului timp s\u0103 se g\u00e2ndeasc\u0103 \u015fi la problemele lui de acas\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd, \u00eentreab-o dac\u0103 e con\u015ftient\u0103 c\u0103 are o singur\u0103 via\u0163\u0103, \u015fi c\u0103 ar putea s-o petreac\u0103 frumos \u015fi relaxat, nu \u00een crize \u015fi scandal. Dar nu for\u0163a nota \u015fi nu c\u0103uta s\u0103 ai dreptate. E via\u0163a ei, \u015fi singura dreptate valabil\u0103 e a ei. Iar aceast\u0103 dreptate trebuie mo\u015fit\u0103 cu r\u0103bdare, nu impus\u0103 cu sila, altminteri&#8230; care e diferen\u0163a \u00eentre tine \u015fi boul de acas\u0103?<\/p>\n<p>Sper c\u0103 acest sfat a fost de folos.<\/p>\n<p>L.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Drag\u0103 Lorena,\u00a0 \u015etiu c\u0103 mult\u0103 lume te freac\u0103 la cap cu t\u00e2mpenii.\u00a0 (Pe mine? Nu, deloc, nu \u015ftiu de unde \u0163i-a venit ideea asta.&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10651,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14301","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/pana.jpg?fit=2800%2C2463&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14301","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14301"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14301\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14303,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14301\/revisions\/14303"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10651"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14301"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14301"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14301"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}