{"id":14392,"date":"2018-02-26T13:28:11","date_gmt":"2018-02-26T10:28:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=14392"},"modified":"2018-02-26T13:46:44","modified_gmt":"2018-02-26T10:46:44","slug":"ursul-din-fund-si-prostia-din-creieri","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/ursul-din-fund-si-prostia-din-creieri\/","title":{"rendered":"Ursul din fund \u015fi prostia din creieri"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dac\u0103 e s\u0103 spun c\u0103 cinemaul rom\u00e2nesc e subfinan\u0163at, ignorat, dispre\u0163uit de public, vampirizat de favoritisme \u015fi partizanate, lumea o s\u0103 ca\u015fte \u015fi o s\u0103 zic\u0103: Da, bine, Lorena, spune-ne ceva nou.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei cu toate acestea, periodic, c\u00e2te un artist rom\u00e2n creeaz\u0103 o poveste care re\u0163ine aten\u0163ia juriilor interna\u0163ionale, \u015fi acestea r\u0103spl\u0103tesc povestea cu un premiu.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei pe loc apar masele largi de c\u0103ca\u0163i cu ochi, care \u00eencep s\u0103 fac\u0103 spume: &#8220;E o prostie! E o banalitate! Nu e art\u0103!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Dac\u0103 era o prostie \u015fi o banalitate, cum se face c\u0103 nu ai venit tu cu ideea? \u015ei nu ai secerat tu to\u0163i laurii disponibili \u00een zon\u0103 cu ceva at\u00e2t de banal \u015fi u\u015for de f\u0103cut?<\/p>\n<p>Tocmai \u00eemi terminasem de b\u0103ut cafeaua, m\u0103 uitam la ni\u015fte poze cu pisici pe feed \u015fi m\u0103 preg\u0103team s\u0103 m\u0103 apuc de lucru, c\u00e2nd mi-a picat sub ochi urm\u0103toarea discu\u0163ie<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-14393\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/bou1.jpg?resize=499%2C686\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"686\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/bou1.jpg?w=499&amp;ssl=1 499w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/bou1.jpg?resize=109%2C150&amp;ssl=1 109w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/bou1.jpg?resize=218%2C300&amp;ssl=1 218w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 499px) 100vw, 499px\" \/><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-14394\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/bou2.jpg?resize=419%2C354\" alt=\"\" width=\"419\" height=\"354\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/bou2.jpg?w=419&amp;ssl=1 419w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/bou2.jpg?resize=150%2C127&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/bou2.jpg?resize=300%2C253&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 419px) 100vw, 419px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>\u015ei atunci am zis: Hold everything. Aici se impune s\u0103 facem pe cineva vedet\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Una la m\u00e2n\u0103: s\u0103 nu vezi tu personal un film (&#8220;Ai v\u0103zut tu filmul, sau doar te-ai documentat din pres\u0103?&#8221; &#8220;\u00cen\u0163eleg unde ba\u0163i&#8221; &#8211; adic\u0103 nu, normal c\u0103 nu l-am v\u0103zut), dar s\u0103-l iei pe Dan Negru &#8211; of all people, Dan Negru &#8211; de reper cultural \u015fi moral spune despre tine c\u0103 e\u015fti prost de beh\u0103i.<\/p>\n<p>Pentru c\u0103 of all people, taman Dan Negru are exact ZERO motive s\u0103 se vaiete de vulgaritatea a orice. Emisiunile lui au folosit \u0163\u00e2\u0163e pe post de proptele din cele mai vechi timpuri. \u015ei nu obiectez. Emisiunea lui, deciziile lui profesionale. M\u0103car d\u0103dea job \u015fi o p\u00e2ine unor doamne. Dar c\u00e2nd Dan Negru of all people, care a folosit masturbarea ca element principal de atras audien\u0163a, se vaiet\u0103 de masturbarea oricui altcuiva, parc\u0103 vedem cum ipocrizia se pogoar\u0103 peste v\u0103i \u00een valuri negre \u015fi prinde chip omenesc, apoi arat\u0103 un deget mijlociu cu un emoticon de &#8220;haha&#8221; \u00een v\u00e2rf.<\/p>\n<p>Dan Negru e ca semiprostituatele alea rom\u00e2nce de prin anii 90 &#8211; \u00eenceput de 2000. Le zic semiprostituate pentru c\u0103 nu aveau un bordel, sau un anun\u0163, sau orice alt\u0103 modalitate de a promova businessul. Dar escortau carcale\u0163i proasp\u0103t \u00eembog\u0103\u0163i\u0163i \u015fi diver\u015fi str\u0103ini veni\u0163i s\u0103 testeze climatul economic \u00een Rom\u00e2nia \u015fi ofereau servicii sexuale complete contra cost. Exista \u015fi o pia\u0163\u0103 pentru asta, \u015fi SPECIFIC pentru asta, ca dovad\u0103 c\u0103 \u00een presa vremii abundau anun\u0163urile cu &#8220;Om de afaceri c\u0103s\u0103torit, caut assistant manager atr\u0103g\u0103toare, f\u0103r\u0103 obliga\u0163ii, flexibil\u0103.&#8221; De ce s\u0103-\u0163i pese, ca assistant manager, de statusul conjugal al \u015fefului t\u0103u, m\u0103 \u00eentrebam eu pe atunci, cu naivitate specific\u0103 de pu\u015ftan.<\/p>\n<p>Bun. \u015ei aceste semiprostituate au \u00eemb\u0103tr\u00e2nit, li s-a fle\u015fc\u0103it pielea, \u015fi subit, au fost cuprinse de o moralitate vajnic\u0103 \u015fi cotropitoare, de oi\u0163e ale Domnului. E ca \u015fi cum menopauza le-ar fi dat Shift Delete la memorie. Subit au \u00eenceput s\u0103 se duc\u0103 la toate slujbele, s\u0103 viziteze mae\u015ftri spirituali (whatever the fuck that is) \u015fi s\u0103 vitupereze la adresa deprav\u0103rii. Rili, fatah? Dar c\u00e2nd erai la cap\u0103tul profitor al deprav\u0103rii, era bine, nu?<\/p>\n<p>A\u015fa \u015fi Dan Negru. Acum, c\u0103 testiculele nu-i mai func\u0163ioneaz\u0103, subit masturbarea nu i se mai pare art\u0103. Tot ce i-a r\u0103mas e prostata, \u015fi cum se poate stimula mai bine aceasta? Prin inser\u0163ia de obiecte \u00een anus. De aici \u015fi recomandarea cu ursul.<\/p>\n<p>OK. Acum c\u0103 am l\u0103murit problema cu Dan Negru, s\u0103 revenim la imbecilul din imagine, cel care a reu\u015fit s\u0103 m\u0103 enerveze.<\/p>\n<p>2018, \u015fi \u00eenc\u0103 judec\u0103m femei care n-au profesii legate de look dup\u0103 cum arat\u0103. Bravo, boss. \u00cenc\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi permite Gicu C\u0103cat s\u0103 c\u00e2r\u00e2ie c\u0103 Simona Halep \u015fi-a mic\u015forat s\u00e2nii &#8211; de parc\u0103 ar fi avut el vreodat\u0103 acces la s\u00e2nii \u0103ia, fie ei mici sau mari, sau c\u0103 Adina Pintilie e &#8220;nasoal\u0103 \u015fi cu breton&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>V\u0103 imagina\u0163i vreodat\u0103 hoardele de pro\u015fti \u00eenjur\u00e2nd un juc\u0103tor de tenis sau un regizor pe baz\u0103 de look? De ce ar face-o. Sportivul sau regizorul trebuie s\u0103-\u015fi fac\u0103 treaba. Ah, \u015fi s\u0103 fie rezonabil de ur\u00e2t. Singura categorie care prime\u015fte balamuc comparabil cu femeile discutabile estetic este cea a b\u0103rba\u0163ilor frumo\u015fi. Cum are unul o fa\u0163\u0103 fin\u0103, atr\u0103g\u0103toare, cum e sigur poponar (termen rostit acuzator, de parc\u0103 ar fi poponar pe anusul p\u0103rerologului sau ceva), fustangiu, pizdificat sau &#8220;beta cuck&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;E ur\u00e2t\u0103 cu spume&#8221; \/ &#8220;Nu a\u015f fute-o nici pl\u0103tit&#8221; discutau al\u0163i doi pro\u015fti sub un clip pe YouTube. Era cumva un clip cu vreo asistent\u0103 TV sau vedet\u0103 de tabloid? Fuck no. Era un clip cu Angela Merkel. Femeie care face relativ clar, prin profesie, vestimenta\u0163ie, coafur\u0103, atitudine, c\u0103 n-o intereseaz\u0103 c\u00e2tu\u015fi de pu\u0163in dac\u0103 ai fute-o tu sau nu, \u015fi prin urmare, premisa fututului pic\u0103 din start.<\/p>\n<p>Mai departe: argumentul \u0103la cu criticii care se excitau la Vanessa Redgrave \u015fi Monica Vitti \u00een loc de nara\u0163iunea lui Antonioni mi se pare de fapt o m\u0103rturisire. \u0102sta, ca t\u00e2rlete redus mintal, a fost incapabil s\u0103 proceseze o nara\u0163iune, \u015fi \u00een timp ce nevasta o f\u0103cea, el r\u0103m\u00e2nea s\u0103 b\u0103leasc\u0103 la Redgrave \u015fi Vitti. Era nivelul LUI personal de \u00een\u0163elegere \u015fi asimilare. \u015ei e uman s\u0103-i suspectezi pe ceilal\u0163i c\u0103 ar fi m\u00e2na\u0163i de acelea\u015fi motiva\u0163ii ca tine. Tu nu procesezi o poveste simpl\u0103? Sigur n-are cum s-o proceseze altul. Mai mult ca sigur, toat\u0103 lumea e ca tine, un complex random de celule \u00een jurul pulii.<\/p>\n<p>Bun. S\u0103 trecem acum la cea mai jenant\u0103 parte. Faza \u00een care puletele analfabet are impresia c\u0103 poate el s\u0103 &#8220;le scrie la Berlin&#8221; (cui mai exact la Berlin? Juriului interna\u0163ional, care probabil c\u0103 deja s-a c\u0103rat care-ncotro?) &#8220;s\u0103-i ia premiul duduii nasoale cu breton&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>Chiar presupun\u00e2nd c\u0103 ar avea suficient\u0103 minte s\u0103 dea un goag\u0103l cu &#8220;membrii juriului Berlinale 2018&#8221;, s\u0103 le afle cumva mailurile \u015fi s\u0103 le chiar scrie \u00eentr-o englez\u0103 inteligibil\u0103, tot ce-ar ob\u0163ine ar fi ca \u0103ia s\u0103-i r\u00e2d\u0103 \u00een nas \u015fi s\u0103 dea delete mailului. Ei s-au bazat \u00een op\u0163iunea lor pe criterii artistice. Pentru c\u0103, spre deosebire de gher\u0163oiul nostru p\u0103rerist, ei chiar v\u0103d filme. \u015ei tot ei au un radar de ignoran\u0163\u0103 uluitor. Se prind din trei vorbe cam la ce nivel te situezi.<\/p>\n<p>Apoi, c\u00e2nd e confruntat \u015fi \u00eentrebat dac\u0103 a v\u0103zut filmul, o d\u0103 pe pseudopatriotism retardat \u015fi pe &#8220;cinematografele goale&#8221;. Chit c\u0103 nu se duce nici la filmele special g\u00e2ndite s\u0103 fie crowd &#8211; pleasere. Chit c\u0103 unicul lui mod de a vedea filme e pirateria.<\/p>\n<p>Decizia de a face un film ambiguu, dificil, sau unul care s\u0103 plac\u0103 popula\u0163iei, este strict a artistului creator. \u015ei nu ai de ce s\u0103 ragi la el, dec\u00e2t cel mult din pozi\u0163ie de produc\u0103tor &#8211; sponsor. Dac\u0103 sunt banii t\u0103i la mijloc, da, po\u0163i s\u0103-i spui c\u0103 vrei un film de public. Dac\u0103 nu, po\u0163i cel mult s\u0103 optezi dac\u0103 pl\u0103te\u015fti sau nu bilet. &#8220;Cinematografele goale&#8221; sunt problema CNC \u015fi a eventualelor programe de popularizare a cinemaului desf\u0103\u015furate de acesta.<\/p>\n<p>Iar \u00een acest caz specific, al Adinei Pintilie, CNC a refuzat s\u0103 finan\u0163eze filmul. De dou\u0103 ori. Banii de produc\u0163ie au venit din cu totul alte surse. Deci chiar nu ai tu, cocalarul rom\u00e2n prost ca noaptea, ce s\u0103 gui\u0163i despre responsabilitatea fa\u0163\u0103 de cinema-ul rom\u00e2nesc.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei ca s\u0103 \u00eencheiem pozitiv: sexul a fost o tem\u0103 fundamental\u0103 a tuturor formelor de art\u0103. \u015ei\u00a0 de entertainment. A fost \u00eenc\u0103 din vremea scrijeliturilor prin pe\u015fteri, este \u015fi va fi at\u00e2ta timp c\u00e2t omul va avea organe destinate pl\u0103cerii fizice. S\u0103 te miri c\u0103 exact filmul X sau spectacolul Y are o tem\u0103 erotic\u0103 e nu doar o manifestare ipocrit\u0103, ci \u015fi o dovad\u0103 de ignoran\u0163\u0103. Nu e o raritate s\u0103 fii prost, ai mul\u0163i confra\u0163i \u00een Rom\u00e2nia, Dar m\u0103car nu-\u0163i flutura prostia cu fal\u0103, public. \u0162ine-o \u015fi tu a\u015fa, mai ferit\u0103.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dac\u0103 e s\u0103 spun c\u0103 cinemaul rom\u00e2nesc e subfinan\u0163at, ignorat, dispre\u0163uit de public, vampirizat de favoritisme \u015fi partizanate, lumea o s\u0103 ca\u015fte \u015fi o&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14395,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14392","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/bear.jpg?fit=480%2C638&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14392","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14392"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14392\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14397,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14392\/revisions\/14397"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14395"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14392"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14392"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14392"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}