{"id":14485,"date":"2018-03-10T17:50:48","date_gmt":"2018-03-10T14:50:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=14485"},"modified":"2018-03-10T17:57:26","modified_gmt":"2018-03-10T14:57:26","slug":"mic-ghid-explicativ-de-monolog-congresual-in-dragneza-vulgara","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/mic-ghid-explicativ-de-monolog-congresual-in-dragneza-vulgara\/","title":{"rendered":"Mic ghid explicativ de monolog congresual \u00een dragneza vulgar\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

Guest post de Alex Pantea\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dup\u0103 cum \u015fti\u0163i, tovar\u0103\u015fului Dragnea \u00eei plac congresele. De fapt, a petrecut primele cinci minute din speech-ul de deschidere elogiind congresele \u015fi calit\u0103\u0163ile lor inerente, f\u0103r\u0103 de care se pare ca p\u0103m\u00e2ntul s-ar opri \u00een loc \u015fi lumea ar cobor\u00ee \u015fifonat\u0103 \u015fi pe br\u00e2nci cam ca bucure\u015ftenii din metrou la Pia\u0163a Victoriei.<\/p>\n

Cum \u00eens\u0103 dragneza e o limb\u0103 aparte, pur conceptual\u0103 \u015fi plin\u0103 de fascicule libero-lemnoase \u00eembibate \u00een seva de smardoi cocalar, sefism de clan \u015fi ironii passive-agressive demne de maistru matri\u0163er \u00een \u015fcoala profesional\u0103, am zis s\u0103 \u00eencerc o traducere lejer\u0103. Evident, e doar o sintez\u0103 a ideilor principale din scurta por\u0163iune de scatofilie pe care am rezistat s\u0103 o ascult.<\/p>\n

1. Dragnea zice c\u0103, dac\u0103 nu e\u015fti de acord cu PSD, e\u015fti tr\u0103d\u0103tor de \u0163ar\u0103, \u015fi amenin\u0163\u0103 c\u0103 va contracara asta cu legi. \u00cen\u0163elege\u0163i, tovar\u0103\u015fi? E\u015fti anti-PSD, prin urmare e\u015fti automat defetist si cur\u00e2nd pu\u015fc\u0103riabil. \u00cen fond, nimic nu e mai scump dec\u00e2t patriotismul \u015fi sf\u00e2nta neat\u00e2rnare a \u0163\u0103rii, atunci c\u00e2nd sluje\u015fte interesul de partid.<\/p>\n

2. Plecarea rom\u00e2nilor din \u0163ar\u0103 e vina oricui, numai a lui PSD, nu. Faptul c\u0103 majoritatea pleac\u0103 fix de sub obl\u0103duirea lor e evident o coinciden\u0163\u0103. Dragnea zice c\u0103 va face programe sociale s\u0103 aduc\u0103 \u00eenapoi 50% din for\u0163a de munc\u0103 emigrat\u0103. \u00cen dragnez\u0103, “program social” se traduce aproximativ \u00een “chestii punitive care ne vor face s\u0103 renun\u0163\u0103m \u015fi la cet\u0103\u0163enie, nu numai la reziden\u0163\u0103 fiscal\u0103”.<\/p>\n

3. Dragnea e \u00eengrijorat de sc\u0103derea natalit\u0103\u0163ii, a\u015fa c\u0103 va “\u00eencuraja” rom\u00e2nii prin alte “programe sociale” s\u0103 fac\u0103 sex, sau ceva. Eventual cu for\u0163a. B\u0103nuiesc c\u0103 \u015fi supra-accizarea metodelor contraceptive (p\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, \u015fi sexul de pl\u0103cere e un viciu detestabil) precum \u015fi o mai ad\u00e2nc\u0103 (sic) implicare a prietenilor \u015fi colegilor deja mult prea \u00eendatora\u0163i din BOR ar fi de ajutor.<\/p>\n

4. Capitalul rom\u00e2nesc trebuie protejat! Mai ales de politica de taxe (coincidental instituit\u0103 tot de ei) \u015fi evident de str\u0103ini. “Str\u0103inii”, aceast\u0103 amenin\u0163are ocult\u0103 din cauza c\u0103reia Rom\u00e2nia suge pe plan intern \u015fi interna\u0163ional. Aici e problema, nu \u00een lipsa infrastructurii \u015fi a oportunit\u0103\u0163ii. Ah, str\u0103inii \u015fi capitalul lor str\u0103in \u015fi insidios. Bubulii, Soros \u015fi Statul Paralel, neic\u0103. Faptul c\u0103 taxele \u015fi cadrul legal deficitar de care se pl\u00e2nge e format \u00een mare parte de propria politic\u0103 este, evident, doar o alt\u0103 coinciden\u0163\u0103. Clar? \u201cAlt\u0103 \u00eentrebare!\u201d<\/p>\n

5. “Statul Paralel”, adic\u0103 practic to\u0163i rom\u00e2nii care nu voteaz\u0103 cu ei, ba mai mult, li se \u015fi opun, Doamne fere\u015fte, ap\u0103r\u0103 \u015fi p\u0103ze\u015fte, \u015fi deci nu fac parte din preferatul Stat Degeaba. Defeti\u015ftii manipula\u0163i de infiltratorii care fac abuz de putere. Evident, iar e doar incidental c\u0103 puterea ultimului sfert de secol a fost \u00een genere a lor \u015fi c\u0103 tot ei sunt m\u00e2ndrii arhitec\u0163i ai unei caracati\u0163e mafiote ce face Cosa Nostra s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng\u0103 cu sughi\u0163uri \u00een col\u0163ul clasei.
\n\u00cen fond, PSD mai are pu\u0163in \u015fi schimb\u0103 radical defini\u0163ia din DEX a cuv\u00e2ntului “baron”.<\/p>\n

6. Justi\u0163ia evident aservit\u0103 bubulilor \u015fi statului paralel \u00eel abuzeaz\u0103 pe am\u0103r\u00e2tul cet\u0103\u0163ean de bun\u0103 credin\u0163\u0103, arest\u00e2nd-l c\u00e2nd fur\u0103 din banul public. E ceva absolut infernal, iar Dragnea va lupta evident s\u0103 “ne” protejeze.
\nPe noi, bie\u0163ii rom\u00e2ni, care nu ne putem c\u0103ca de foame. F\u0103r\u0103 el. Plus c\u0103 cine ne-ar mai \u015fterge la cur \u00een toiul nop\u0163ii cu o ordonan\u0163\u0103 de urgen\u0163\u0103?<\/p>\n

7. Rom\u00e2nia aparent nu prime\u015fte \u00eendeajuns de multe beneficii economice din vest, are doar responsabilit\u0103\u0163i, nu \u015fi drepturi. Vestul este de c\u0103cat, iar faptul c\u0103 masivele investi\u0163ii sorosiste \u00een dezbinarea \u0163\u0103ri\u015foarei eludeaz\u0103 fiscul mai abitir dec\u00e2t propriile afaceri provoac\u0103 bube \u00een cerul gurii oric\u0103rui baron care se respect\u0103. Din nou, doar o coinciden\u0163\u0103 c\u0103 propriile guverne sunt incapabile s\u0103 absoarb\u0103 fonduri. \u00cen fond (sic2), banii europeni sunt mai greu de furat, spre deosebire de bugetul na\u0163ional, \u015fi deci, neinteresan\u0163i. Prea mult efort s\u0103 c\u0103pu\u015fezi proiecte europene, spre deosebire de mult prea accesibilul \u015fi deja l\u0103rgitul \u00een cur buget na\u0163ional. Salvarea pare c\u0103 vine din China.
\nProbabil via Moscova.<\/p>\n

8. Dragnea e cel mai feminist. Dragelor, practic dac\u0103 nu vota\u0163i PSD, aparent sunte\u0163i antifeministe \u015fi a\u0163i supt-o. \u015ei asta nu e bine, pentru c\u0103 dac\u0103 v\u0103 aduce\u0163i aminte, cauzeaz\u0103 la natalitate, alt lucru pentru care se lupt\u0103 Sf\u00e2ntul Dragnea, Ultimul \u00cenc\u0103lec\u0103tor de Neam \u015fi \u0162ar\u0103, acest Ana Pauker cu pul\u0103. PSD este evident singura forma\u0163iune rom\u00e2neasc\u0103 ce va lupta prin exemplu pentru egalitatea de gen. Impus\u0103 evident cu for\u0163a. \u00cens\u0103 Dragnea, prev\u0103z\u0103tor, deja a anun\u0163at c\u0103 va forma Asocia\u0163ia B\u0103rba\u0163ilor din PSD, c\u0103 poate, cine \u015ftie, c\u00e2nd matriarhatul ro\u015fu va deveni o certitudine, va trebui s\u0103 ateste c\u0103 a luptat mereu pentru drepturile oprima\u0163ilor b\u0103rba\u0163i.<\/p>\n

9. Cum vestul e de c\u0103cat \u015fi vrea s\u0103 ne at\u00e2rne, las\u0103 c\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi face Dragnea UE-ul lui cu Bulgaria, Serbia \u015fi Moldova.
\nWith blackjack and hookers \u015fi cote de gen.<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 m\u0103 mai \u0163ine stomacul s\u0103 \u00eel ascult, mai traduc. Dar m\u0103 \u00eendoiesc.
\nA\u015fa c\u0103 v\u0103 urez tradi\u0163ionalul \u201cKakaya cu sila, papaya cu for\u0163a!\u201d, \u015fi v\u0103 rog s\u0103 nu uita\u0163i, dragi tovar\u0103\u015fi, s\u0103 gr\u0103bim congresu’, s\u0103 nu moar\u0103 realesu’!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Alex Pantea a fost vocalist rock, \u00eenc\u0103 este artist vizual \u015fi, pentru c\u0103 \u0163ara e pe ro\u015fu \u015fi nu se poate desf\u0103\u015fura, de ceva timp e corporatist \u00een Praga. Pe Facebook \u00eel g\u0103si\u0163i aici<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  Guest post de Alex Pantea\u00a0   Dup\u0103 cum \u015fti\u0163i, tovar\u0103\u015fului Dragnea \u00eei plac congresele. De fapt, a petrecut primele cinci minute din speech-ul...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14489,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14485","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/simbol-e1520693830109.jpg?fit=794%2C666&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14485","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14485"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14485\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14490,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14485\/revisions\/14490"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14489"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14485"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14485"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14485"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}