{"id":14497,"date":"2018-03-12T12:22:08","date_gmt":"2018-03-12T09:22:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=14497"},"modified":"2018-03-12T12:22:08","modified_gmt":"2018-03-12T09:22:08","slug":"reactia-care-ma-sperie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/reactia-care-ma-sperie\/","title":{"rendered":"Reac\u0163ia care m\u0103 sperie"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ieri, am f\u0103cut mi\u015fto de ini\u0163iativa userist\u0103 cu Legea Zgomotului, prin <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/basina-criminala\/\">aceast\u0103 poveste foarte poetic\u0103<\/a><\/strong> despre fasole \u015fi decibeli. Era strict o fabul\u0103, copii. O glum\u0103. Versiunea serioas\u0103 era &#8220;USR, te-am votat s\u0103 construie\u015fti o opozi\u0163ie solid\u0103 \u015fi cu sens, o alternativ\u0103 politic\u0103, nu s\u0103 vii cu microagresiuni domestice, care s\u0103-i dea vecinului meu idiot o unealt\u0103 \u00een plus \u00eempotriva mea.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Am acest obicei adolescentin de a scrie cu Rammstein, Metallica sau Judas Priest dat la maximum ziua (noaptea le dau \u00een \u015foapt\u0103) \u015fi am un labagiu pe care nu l-am v\u0103zut niciodat\u0103 la fa\u0163\u0103, dar care-mi las\u0103 mereu bilete \u00een u\u015f\u0103 cu &#8220;Domni\u015foar\u0103, e inadmisibil ca o femeie s\u0103 asculte asemenea inep\u0163ii.&#8221; El \u015ftie cine sunt, eu nu \u015ftiu cine e el, dar rutina e mereu aceea\u015fi: \u00eei desenez c\u00e2te o pul\u0103 falnic\u0103, d\u00e2rz\u0103 \u015fi b\u00e2rzoet\u0103, cu coaie umflate ca pepenii, pe misive \u015fi le arunc pe pre\u015f, s\u0103 fie clar ce e admisibil s\u0103 fac\u0103 o femeie \u015fi ce nu. \u00cen c\u00e2teva ore, bile\u0163elul dispare \u015fi-mi imaginez c\u0103 face colect\u0103 cu ele, \u00een scopuri de\u00a0 lab\u0103 furibund\u0103, pentru c\u0103 pulele mele lungi, v\u00e2njoase, frumos suflecate, sunt singurul organ sexual pe care \u00eel vede vreodat\u0103 de la o femeie.<\/p>\n<p>Sau poate \u00eemi \u015fi cite\u015fte blogul, caz \u00een care \u00eei trimit c\u0103ldurosul &#8220;Gogule, sper s\u0103 te sufoci cu colec\u0163ia de pule de la mine \u015fi, \u00een afara programului obligatoriu de lini\u015fte, mamacita ascult\u0103 fix ce binevoie\u015fte sus-numita colec\u0163ie. B\u0103ga-\u0163i-a\u015f borma\u015fina \u00een anus.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>OK, deci am scris ieri gluma linkuit\u0103 mai sus, \u015fi o serie de reac\u0163ii au fost: &#8220;Parc\u0103 am fi m\u00e2ncat fasole, dar acum c\u0103 ai scris tu, mai bine b\u0103g\u0103m cartofi pr\u0103ji\u0163i.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Copii, v\u0103 roag\u0103 sora voastr\u0103 mai mare \u015fi mai zurlie foarte frumos un lucru. NU renun\u0163a\u0163i la fasole doar pentru c\u0103 scriu eu c\u0103 predispune la b\u0103\u015fini. Nu face\u0163i ma\u015final lucruri doar pentru c\u0103 vi le spune X sau Y. Fi\u0163i voi \u00een\u015fiv\u0103. Decide\u0163i singuri ce func\u0163ioneaz\u0103 pentru voi \u015fi nu l\u0103sa\u0163i pe nimeni s\u0103 v\u0103 dirijeze.<\/p>\n<p>Sigur, asta nu \u00eenseamn\u0103 nici extrema opus\u0103, \u00een care veni\u0163i s\u0103 m\u0103 freca\u0163i detestabil la icre c\u0103-s du\u015fmanca fasolei \u015fi c\u0103 o s\u0103-mi da\u0163i foc la bloc din iubire fa\u0163\u0103 de fasole, pentru c\u0103 n-am r\u0103bdare de a\u015fa ceva.<\/p>\n<p>Pur \u015fi simplu, asculta\u0163i p\u0103rerea mea despre fasole, c\u00e2nt\u0103ri\u0163i argumentele mele despre fasole, mai deschide\u0163i o carte de nutri\u0163ie \u015fi afla\u0163i toate beneficiile pe care vi le aduce fasolea \u00een alimenta\u0163ie (e un superfood, am scris \u015fi eu despre ea <a href=\"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/sase-superfoods-de-romania\/\"><strong>aici<\/strong><\/a>), mai documenta\u0163i-v\u0103 \u015fi din alte p\u0103r\u0163i \u015fi lua\u0163i decizia potrivit\u0103 pentru voi. Pe care, desigur, mi-o pute\u0163i comunica \u015fi mie, pe un ton civilizat \u015fi de bun sim\u0163, a\u015fa cum probabil c\u0103 vre\u0163i s\u0103 fi\u0163i \u015fi voi trata\u0163i.<\/p>\n<p>Nu crede\u0163i, cerceta\u0163i. E singurul mod de a nu deveni mas\u0103 de manevr\u0103. Fa\u0163\u0103 de nimeni.<\/p>\n<p>Eu \u00eemi propun s\u0103 v\u0103 fiu entertainer. S\u0103 v\u0103 st\u00e2rnesc veselia de fiecare zi, ca un &#8220;mul\u0163umesc&#8221; pentru dona\u0163iile acelora dintre voi care sus\u0163in acest proiect.<\/p>\n<p>Nu vreau s\u0103 fiu pop\u0103, nu vreau s\u0103 fiu influencer, nu vreau s\u0103 fiu \u00een\u0163eleptul satului, nu vreau s\u0103 fiu Maica Teresa, nu vreau s\u0103 fiu Radio Trinitas \u015fi nu vreau s\u0103 fiu de\u0163in\u0103toarea adev\u0103rului universal. (Sigur, except\u00e2nd articolele despre drepturile femeilor. Acolo \u00eemi piere subit sim\u0163ul umorului, pentru c\u0103 \u015ftiu c\u00e2\u0163i idio\u0163i b\u00e2ntuie liberi \u015fi au impresia c\u0103 simpla de\u0163inere de cromozom Y le d\u0103 dreptul s\u0103-mi fac\u0103 mie reguli.) Dar, \u00een articole despre m\u00e2ncare, haine, makeup, filme, sex, glume, jocuri \u015fi orice alte prostii \u00eemi fat\u0103 mie mintea, \u00eemi doresc doar s\u0103 distrez \u015fi s\u0103 povestesc.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei chiar \u00eemi doresc discu\u0163ii. Opinii. Experien\u0163e personale pe subiecte. Prefer opt re\u0163ete de fasole scutit\u0103 de b\u0103\u015fini \u00een locul replicii: &#8220;ah, m\u0103 iau dup\u0103 tine \u015fi nu mai m\u0103n\u00e2nc fasole&#8221;. Prefer o poveste haioas\u0103 cu cele mai jenante locuri \u00een care v-a\u0163i b\u0103\u015fit. Insist: nu v\u0103 teme\u0163i s\u0103 v\u0103 da\u0163i fr\u00e2u liber personalit\u0103\u0163ii. Vreau s\u0103 putem r\u00e2de \u00eempreun\u0103, nu s\u0103 ne copiem.<\/p>\n<p>R\u00e2sul e ultima form\u0103 de libertate.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ieri, am f\u0103cut mi\u015fto de ini\u0163iativa userist\u0103 cu Legea Zgomotului, prin aceast\u0103 poveste foarte poetic\u0103 despre fasole \u015fi decibeli. Era strict o fabul\u0103, copii.&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14121,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14497","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/brittnee.jpg?fit=1140%2C641&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14497","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14497"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14497\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14500,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14497\/revisions\/14500"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14121"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14497"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14497"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14497"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}