{"id":14501,"date":"2018-03-13T05:36:36","date_gmt":"2018-03-13T02:36:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=14501"},"modified":"2018-03-13T12:57:06","modified_gmt":"2018-03-13T09:57:06","slug":"rezolutiile-mele-de-13-martie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/rezolutiile-mele-de-13-martie\/","title":{"rendered":"Rezolu\u0163iile mele de 13 martie"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Obiectiv, mi se pare penibil s\u0103 formulezi hot\u0103r\u00e2ri noi-nou\u0163e pe 1 ianuarie. Pe 1 ianuarie e z\u0103pad\u0103, frig, mintea omului hiberneaz\u0103 \u00een pe\u015fter\u0103, \u00eembr\u0103\u0163i\u015fat\u0103 cu un urs brun carpatin, \u015fi oricum nu faci dec\u00e2t chestii pentru care te pl\u0103te\u015fte cineva.<\/p>\n<p>Nu, nu o s\u0103 faci jogging printre n\u0103me\u0163i, nu, nu o s\u0103 dai z\u0103pada de pe ma\u015fin\u0103 doar s\u0103 te duci la sal\u0103 \u015fi nu, nu o s\u0103 faci abdomene acas\u0103, c\u00e2nd \u00eentunericul se las\u0103 la 5 dup\u0103-amiaza. Nu, nu o s\u0103 te apuci de diet\u0103, c\u00e2nd frigul de afar\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i st\u00e2rne\u015fte pofte de bacon cu br\u00e2nz\u0103 de oaie din M\u0103rginimea Sibiului, nu, nu o s\u0103 faci schimb\u0103ri miraculoase \u00een bine \u015fi nici m\u0103car n-o s\u0103-\u0163i ard\u0103 s\u0103 ie\u015fi \u00een ora\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>Hai s\u0103 nu mai b\u0103smim.<\/p>\n<p>Iarna, omul munce\u015fte doar c\u00e2t s\u0103-\u015fi pl\u0103teasc\u0103 daraverile \u015fi \u00een rest, bea ciocolat\u0103 cald\u0103, se uit\u0103 la seriale \u00een regim &#8220;un sezon pe sear\u0103&#8221; \u015fi periodic \u00ee\u015fi enerveaz\u0103 m\u00e2\u0163a cu aspiratorul. Astea sunt rezolu\u0163ii realiste de 1 ianuarie.<\/p>\n<p>Bine, la mine iarna s-a lungit cu vreo patru zile, c\u0103 a venit la pachet cu ditamai bron\u015fita, dar am reu\u015fit s-o \u00eembl\u00e2nzim \u00een linii mari, mai am doar un reziduu de tuse m\u0103g\u0103reasc\u0103, pe care o fac mereu de cum d\u0103 un frigule\u0163, a\u015fa c\u0103 e safe to say c\u0103, din punctul meu de vedere, anul nou \u00eencepe acum.<\/p>\n<p>Iar rezolu\u0163iile de prim\u0103var\u0103 sunt:<\/p>\n<p>A)\u00a0<strong>S\u0103 termin toate textele de care m-am apucat.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Un proverb rom\u00e2nesc \u00een\u0163elept spune c\u0103 \u00eenceputul este greu. Incorect, fe\u0163ii mei. \u00cenceputul e cacamaca fix nimic, e floare la ureche, e ca o minor\u0103 blond\u0103 \u00een congresul PSD. Easy like Sunday morning.<\/p>\n<p>Extrem de grea \u00eens\u0103 e continuarea.<\/p>\n<p>Iar vita asta al c\u0103rei blog \u00eel citi\u0163i e experta \u00eenceputurilor f\u0103r\u0103 finalizare. Undeva intervine rutina, se culc\u0103 pasiunea, fuge aten\u0163ia la masa vecinului, adio pic\u0103 frunza.<\/p>\n<p>OK, nu s\u0103 le termin pe toate, c\u0103 e o rezolu\u0163ie nerealist\u0103 de tip &#8220;s\u0103 trec \u00een kilograme de la Oprah la Lil&#8217; Kim.&#8221; Hai, trei. Trei luni de prim\u0103var\u0103, trei texte. Realist, a\u015fa.<\/p>\n<p><strong>B) S\u0103 dau jos cinci kile care mi s-au lipit de suflet ca marca de scrisoare.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Eu vara nu dorm, c\u00e2nta un nene pe care am uitat cum \u00eel cheam\u0103. Eu iarna da. Dorm \u00eenf\u0103\u015furat\u0103 \u00een propria os\u00e2nz\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei nu trebuie s\u0103-mi spun\u0103 nimeni c\u0103 m-am \u00eengr\u0103\u015fat. \u015eTIU, \u00ceN PLM. Trebuie s\u0103 re\u00eencep s\u0103 bag exerci\u0163ii fizice, s\u0103 renun\u0163 o vreme la b\u0103ut \u015fi dulciuri, \u015fi s\u0103-mi reintru \u00een form\u0103. Pot s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nc diete iepure\u015fti interminabile. Nu se vede.<\/p>\n<p>Gotta work it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>C) S\u0103 re\u00eencep s\u0103 organizez evenimente.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Legat de evenimente, am o t\u00e2r\u015f\u0103 sinistr\u0103. Nu de partea cu urcatul pe o scen\u0103 \/ tribun\u0103 \/ bar\u0103 de striptease. Acolo sunt ca la mama acas\u0103. Da, nu r\u00e2de\u0163i. Mama m-a n\u0103scut cu bar\u0103 de striptease \u00een p\u0103tu\u0163.<\/p>\n<p>Dar am o t\u00e2r\u015feal\u0103 monstruoas\u0103 legat\u0103 de organizarea lor, de telefoane, de mesaje, de tras de oameni s\u0103 dea attend \u015fi de tot ce presupune asta. E genul de corvoad\u0103 nesf\u00e2nt\u0103, lipsit\u0103 de orice farmec, pe care numai cur\u0103\u0163enia mare o poate egala.<\/p>\n<p><strong>D) S\u0103-mi cresc Instagram-ul.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Ini\u0163ial, aveam un sentiment de &#8220;whatever&#8221; fa\u0163\u0103 de Instagram, pentru c\u0103 era doar cu fotografii, \u015fi arma mea este cuv\u00e2ntul. Dar constat c\u0103, pas cu pas, ca Klaus Iohannis, \u00eemi g\u0103sesc un mod de expresie \u015fi pe el, \u015fi \u00eemi fac ga\u015fc\u0103 \u015fi acolo.<\/p>\n<p>E interesant pentru c\u0103 e altceva, \u015fi \u00eemi permite s\u0103-mi cultiv pasiunea pentru machiaj.<\/p>\n<p>Obiectiv, n-o s\u0103 stau o or\u0103 \u00een oglind\u0103 s\u0103-mi pictez o a doua fa\u0163\u0103 pentru o postare pe blog, pentru c\u0103 mi-e mai simplu s\u0103 v\u0103 spun o poveste. Dar o fac pentru Instagram, pentru c\u0103 acolo o face toat\u0103 lumea \u015fi chiar m\u0103 re\u00eencarc de energie \u015fi de apetit vizual c\u00e2nd m\u0103 uit la ce le fat\u0103 mintea oamenilor.<\/p>\n<p>Pe Instagram oricum nu e at\u00e2ta ur\u0103 nejustificat\u0103, la\u015fi doar imaginea s\u0103 vorbeasc\u0103, cui \u00eei place, st\u0103, cui nu, merge mai departe, drept care, haide\u0163i cu mine \u015fi pe Instagram. <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/lorena.lup\/\">Aici.\u00a0<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>E) S\u0103 reiau interviurile din seria Femei cu P*la Mare \u015fi Facebook Live.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Pute\u0163i s\u0103 l\u0103sa\u0163i \u00een comentarii idei cu poten\u0163iale victime, dar f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 le da\u0163i tag, s\u0103 nu-mi crea\u0163i obliga\u0163ii.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei<\/p>\n<p><strong>F) S\u0103 nu m\u0103 mai cert. S\u0103 reduc cearta la exact 0.0000000&#8230;0001%. S\u0103 \u00eemi menajez timpul \u015fi nervii pentru lucruri care chiar conteaz\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Nu \u015ftiu dac\u0103 a\u0163i remarcat, dar \u00een ultima vreme nu prea m-a\u0163i v\u0103zut \u00een certuri publice cu nimeni. \u015ei aici, un mare merit \u00eel are politica Facebook de blocare a muilor, pulilor, slobozurilor \u015fi a\u015fa mai departe.<\/p>\n<p>E momentul s-o spun: mul\u0163umesc, Facebook. Da, pot face KO din vorbe pe oricine, oric\u00e2nd, dar nu m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103 s\u0103-mi pierd carnetul de \u015fofer internautic pentru at\u00e2ta lucru.<\/p>\n<p>Oricum, genul de om care sare direct la harneal\u0103 e prea prost s\u0103 merite investi\u0163ia aia de timp \u015fi nici nu \u0163i-o va recompensa vreodat\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Drept care, \u00eemi extrag o mul\u0163ime de timp de sub deranjul meltenilor.<\/p>\n<p>Nu c\u0103 ignor. Faza cu &#8220;ignor\u0103-i&#8221; e \u00een continuare o t\u00e2mpenie. Comunic\u0103-le: &#8220;Recunosc cer\u015fetoria penibil\u0103 de aten\u0163ie, mi-e clar c\u0103 n-ai maniere mai rafinate \u015fi mai inteligente de a acapara aten\u0163ia, dar nu \u0163i-s eu life coach \u015fi nu-\u0163i admit s\u0103-mi risipe\u015fti timpul cu melteneal\u0103. Taci sau block.&#8221; Sigur, \u00een 80% dintre cazuri e block, c\u0103 omul e consecvent \u00een prostie. Dar asta nu mai e treaba mea, pentru c\u0103 NU m\u0103 las enervat\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Voi ce rezolu\u0163ii ave\u0163i \u00een noul an? Bine, \u00een afar\u0103 de 1366 x 768.<\/p>\n<p>Foto: Afroman. Din motive evidente.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Obiectiv, mi se pare penibil s\u0103 formulezi hot\u0103r\u00e2ri noi-nou\u0163e pe 1 ianuarie. Pe 1 ianuarie e z\u0103pad\u0103, frig, mintea omului hiberneaz\u0103 \u00een pe\u015fter\u0103, \u00eembr\u0103\u0163i\u015fat\u0103&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":12732,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14501","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/afroman.jpg?fit=1280%2C720&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14501","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14501"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14501\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14505,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14501\/revisions\/14505"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12732"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14501"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14501"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14501"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}