{"id":14696,"date":"2018-04-09T09:03:34","date_gmt":"2018-04-09T06:03:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=14696"},"modified":"2018-04-09T09:30:27","modified_gmt":"2018-04-09T06:30:27","slug":"cinci-comportamente-enervante-pe-instagram","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/cinci-comportamente-enervante-pe-instagram\/","title":{"rendered":"Cinci comportamente enervante pe Instagram"},"content":{"rendered":"

Cum \u00eemi fac cont pe o nou\u0103 re\u0163ea social\u0103, unde eventual m\u0103 simt extrem de bine \u015fi \u00eemi propun s\u0103 cresc o comunitate, apar de la un punct \u00eencolo comportamentele iritante specifice re\u0163elei. Nu, nu-s 100% acelea\u015fi.\u00a0 Dac\u0103 pe Facebook m\u0103 exaspereaz\u0103 agresivitatea din comentarii \u015fi preten\u0163ia unora c\u0103 blogul t\u0103u e un serviciu public sau poate remunerat din procente la abonamentul lor de net, prin urmare pot s\u0103-\u0163i fac\u0103 reguli, pe Instagram lumea e mult mai politicoas\u0103 \u015fi mai pu\u0163in pus\u0103 pe h\u0103r\u0163uial\u0103, de aceea \u00eenc\u0103 n-am scos p*la la nimeni. Ca dovad\u0103 c\u0103 pot foarte bine s-o \u0163in \u00een teac\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 interac\u0163ionez calm \u015fi relaxat cu popor, c\u00e2t\u0103 vreme acesta nu caut\u0103 cu tot dinadinsul s\u0103 c\u00e2nte la\u00a0 cimpoi cu bile.<\/p>\n

De aceea m\u0103 \u015fi simt mai bine pe Insta dec\u00e2t pe Facebook \u00een ultima vreme, \u015fi singurul lucru care m\u0103 \u00eempiedic\u0103 s\u0103 nu m\u0103 mut cu totul acolo e c\u0103 pe Insta nu po\u0163i pune zilnic c\u00e2te un link la blog.<\/p>\n

Astea fiind punctate, v\u0103 propun un schimb de experien\u0163\u0103 cu comportamente iritante pe care le \u00eent\u00e2lnim pe re\u0163eaua noastr\u0103 de proiecte vizuale \u015fi experimente artsy. Eu zic ce m\u0103 irit\u0103 pe mine, voi spune\u0163i ce v\u0103 irit\u0103 pe voi.<\/p>\n

5, Citatele popt\u0103m\u0103\u015fiste pe stock photos\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

“Lumina e \u00een ad\u00e2ncul anusului nostru; nu ne lipse\u015fte dec\u00e2t un cardan suficient de lung s-o pescuiasc\u0103 la suprafa\u0163\u0103”, a zis flozoful grec antic Oligofreniade al Spartei.<\/p>\n

Pfff, musai cineva de pe Instagram se va sim\u0163i obligat s\u0103 ia aceast\u0103 platitudine sinistr\u0103, s-o pun\u0103 pe un buchet \u00eembujorat de penisuri de cal f\u00e2lf\u00e2inde \u015fi s\u0103 creeze un moment vomitiv de siropo\u015fenie lamentabil\u0103.<\/p>\n

Instagram-ul este despre ce po\u0163i tu s\u0103 produci. Urm\u0103resc conturi de travel, fitness, dieting, makeup, modelling, food, pictur\u0103 \u00een ceara din urechi – orice e original \u015fi spune ceva despre om. Dar nu m\u0103 p\u0103c\u0103le\u015fti c-ai recoltat tu p*lele de cal \u00eembujorate, le-ai f\u0103cut aranjament frem\u0103t\u0103tor \u015fi ele neap\u0103rat \u0163i-au inspirat mugetarea lui Oligofreniade al Spartei. Era doar un moment de penibil vizual suprapus peste penibil verbal. Redundan\u0163\u0103 \u00een penibil.<\/p>\n

4. Acela\u015fi selfie zi de zi, dar cu tricou diferit (aka fra\u0163ii lui Justin Bieber)\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Selfie-urile conturilor de makeup le \u00een\u0163eleg. Fa\u0163a e p\u00e2nza alb\u0103 pe care aplici crea\u0163ia artistic\u0103. A\u015fa cum \u00een\u0163eleg pozele cu tatuaje noi sau cu abdomen tonifiat de sal\u0103. Sau selfie-urile conturilor de hairstyling. Sunt stalker insistent pe acest conturi, pentru c\u0103 m\u0103 pasioneaz\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u0163.<\/p>\n

Apoi, sunt c\u00e2te unii care nu-\u015fi fac nimic nou de ieri p\u00e2n\u0103 azi, dar se consider\u0103 \u00een a\u015fa hal cadoul lui Dumnezeu c\u0103tre omenire, \u00eenc\u00e2t bag\u0103 zi de zi c\u00e2te un selfie cu exact aceea\u015fi expresie a fe\u0163ei, sau doar cu un col\u0163 al gurii vag ridicat, sau cu o grimas\u0103 de maxim\u0103 superioritate. Sau cu \u0163\u00e2\u0163ele identic de b\u0103gate \u00een ochiul privitorului, dac\u0103 sunt femei.<\/p>\n

Oamenii \u0103\u015ftia nu au nici o secund\u0103 no\u0163iunea de monotonie, respectiv de redundan\u0163\u0103. Ei doar \u00ee\u0163i arat\u0103 c\u0103 \u015fi azi sunt fabulos de \u00eennebunitor de superbi, cum erau \u015fi ieri.<\/p>\n

3. Excesul de complimente\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

“You are so beautiful”<\/p>\n

“Thank you”<\/p>\n

“I thank you for thanking me”<\/p>\n

“:D”<\/p>\n

“That is the most gorgeous smile I’ve seen”<\/p>\n

“It’s an emoticon, really. Can we please move on?”<\/p>\n

M-am g\u00e2ndit c\u0103 sunt eu t\u00e2mpit\u0103, dar m-am uitat \u015fi pe conturile altora. Nici o alt\u0103 femeie, \u015fi nici m\u0103car un alt b\u0103rbat nu se ud\u0103 c\u00e2nd tu \u00eencepi s\u0103 t\u00e2r\u00e2i bale pe conturile lor.<\/p>\n

Deschide Store pe mobil. C\u00e2nd te \u00eentreab\u0103 ce cau\u0163i, tasteaz\u0103 urm\u0103toarele litere \u00een urm\u0103toarea ordine: T, I, N, D, E, R, apoi d\u0103 enter. Prima chestie care o s\u0103 apar\u0103 va fi cea mai popular\u0103 aplica\u0163ie de ag\u0103\u0163at din lume. S\u0103 fiu mai explicit\u0103: toat\u0103 lumea care are cont acolo caut\u0103 sex, sau o rela\u0163ie, sau ambele. Dac\u0103 tu vrei p\u00e2ine, nu e mai simplu \u015fi mai demn s\u0103 te duci direct la brut\u0103rie, dec\u00e2t pe la magazinul de vopsele, \u015fi s\u0103 \u00eentrebi v\u00e2nz\u0103toarele dac\u0103 are careva un col\u0163 de p\u00e2ine \u00een plus?<\/p>\n

2. Excesul de hashtaguri\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bine, io-s instagrammerul \u0103la retardat care nu folose\u015fte hashtaguri deloc, a\u015fa cum nu folosesc nici cuvinte cheie, sau tags pe blog, nu \u00eemi pas\u0103 de SEO, \u015fi unica regul\u0103 pe care o urmez e ca postarea s\u0103 fie funny sau emo\u0163ionant\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00cen schimb sunt unii, nenicul meu, care \u00ee\u015fi fac poz\u0103 cu o \u00eenghe\u0163at\u0103 de un leu de la McDonalds \u015fi \u00eencep a\u015fa: #ice, #icecream #vanilla #mcdonalds #mcdonaldsromania #sweets #fastfood #fastfoodisnotbad #ilovefastfood #happy #donttellmymom #m\u0103tasugepulidecal.<\/p>\n

M\u0103 rog, ultimul hashtag mi-a sc\u0103pat accidental \u015fi reflect\u0103 sentimentele mele la excesul de hashtaguri.<\/p>\n

\u00cen\u0163eleg c\u0103 un eveniment fundamental merit\u0103 hashtaguit p\u00e2n\u0103 la epuizare, dar, pe bune, o \u00eenghe\u0163at\u0103 la Mec e fix at\u00e2t: o \u00eenghe\u0163at\u0103 la Mec. N-o abuza.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u015ei cel mai enervant obicei al instagrammerilor esteeee:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

1. Droaia de poze pe zi\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Feed-ul de Facebook \u00ee\u0163i ofer\u0103 o selec\u0163ie pe baz\u0103 de likes \u015fi popularitate, \u015fi nu vezi tot ce posteaz\u0103 cei 4.000 de friends ai t\u0103i, altfel te-ai \u00eempu\u015fca. \u00cen schimb, feedul de Insta arat\u0103 TOT ce posteaz\u0103 toat\u0103 lumea, \u00een ordine invers cronologic\u0103.<\/p>\n

Un singur prieten cu diaree vizual\u0103 fute meciul pentru toat\u0103 lumea. Trebuie s\u0103 dai scroll la vale p\u00e2n\u0103 faci scurt\u0103 la m\u00e2n\u0103, s\u0103 mai vezi \u015fi ce fac al\u0163ii.<\/p>\n

Tocmai de aceea v\u0103 roag\u0103 fata asta din inim\u0103: bitte schon, o poz\u0103 pe zi, maximum dou\u0103 dac\u0103 te m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 crunt talentul. Nu-mi monopoliza feedul. Nu orice poz\u0103 e un Pulitzer \u00een devenire. Mai selecteaz\u0103-le \u015fi tu, \u015fi pune ce e cu adev\u0103rat memorabil.<\/p>\n

Nu vrem senza\u0163ia c\u0103 ne-am c\u0103s\u0103torit cu tine \u015fi nunta s-a \u0163inut pe Instagram \u015fi acum suntem bloca\u0163i cu tine p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd moartea ne va desp\u0103r\u0163i.<\/p>\n

Foto: Instagram-ul lui Justin Bieber, logic.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Cum \u00eemi fac cont pe o nou\u0103 re\u0163ea social\u0103, unde eventual m\u0103 simt extrem de bine \u015fi \u00eemi propun s\u0103 cresc o comunitate, apar...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14698,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14696","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/justin-bieber-instagram.jpg?fit=696%2C695&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14696","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14696"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14696\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14706,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14696\/revisions\/14706"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14698"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14696"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14696"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14696"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}