{"id":14784,"date":"2018-04-21T11:09:05","date_gmt":"2018-04-21T08:09:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=14784"},"modified":"2018-04-21T11:23:47","modified_gmt":"2018-04-21T08:23:47","slug":"intrebari-stupide-de-pus-pe-net","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/intrebari-stupide-de-pus-pe-net\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00centreb\u0103ri stupide de pus pe net"},"content":{"rendered":"

Apar la fiecare status. Vor s\u0103 sugereze cum persoana care le pune de\u0163ine o form\u0103 oarecare de superioritate prin faptul c\u0103 nu de\u0163ine r\u0103spunsul. Pentru c\u0103 \u00een sistemul sucit de valori al persoanei cu pricina, ignoran\u0163a e o virtute, iar informa\u0163ia, un viciu.<\/p>\n

\u015ei de c\u00e2te ori le v\u0103d, \u00eemi vine s\u0103 creez aplica\u0163ia Bocancul Virtual\u2122 de care v\u0103 povesteam: de cum cineva posteaz\u0103 un rahat, un bocanc de munte cu cuie-n talp\u0103 se desprinde magic din ecran \u015fi-i arde o voiniceasc\u0103 direct \u00eentre n\u0103ri. E superputerea la care visez.<\/p>\n

Dar, destul ranting, hai s\u0103 trecem la \u00eentreb\u0103rile stupide.<\/p>\n

Cine?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Scrii un status despre cineva, care a f\u0103cut ceva. \u00cen secunda imediat urm\u0103toare, se \u00eenfiin\u0163eaz\u0103 autorul urm\u0103torului reply: “Cine?”
\nCred c\u0103 nu exist\u0103 status pe net despre cineva care a f\u0103cut ceva, f\u0103r\u0103 prostul obligatoriu din sec\u0163iunea de comentarii care s\u0103 \u00eentrebe “cine?”. Am senza\u0163ia c\u0103 Mark Zuckerberg a construit Facebook cu func\u0163ia “cine” incorporat\u0103, \u015fi oamenii care pun \u00eentrebarea asta idioat\u0103 sunt de fapt bots.
\nNu cred c\u0103 exist\u0103 o fiin\u0163\u0103 vie care s\u0103 aib\u0103 impresia c\u0103 necunoa\u015fterea \u00eei confer\u0103 valoare \u015fi c\u0103 mor du\u015fmanii de invidie dac\u0103 tu e\u015fti prost. “Uite, b\u0103, am fi putut \u015fi noi s\u0103 NU \u015eTIM chestia asta. Dar rahat, o \u015ftim, suntem plebe.”
\nDar hai s\u0103 presupunem c\u0103 e\u015fti sincer, c\u0103 neam de neamul t\u0103u n-a auzit despre persoana de care scriu \u015fi c\u0103 plute\u015fti \u00een mister ca un unicorn \u00eentr-un acid trip.
\nEi bine, am ve\u015fti pentru tine: Informa\u0163ia e la un google distan\u0163\u0103 de tine.
\n\u015ei alte ve\u015fti: google e gratis.
\nYeeeeah!
\nIat\u0103 toate motivele tale pentru a mai pune vreodat\u0103 \u00eentrebarea “cine?”, demontate.
\n\u015ei nu, nimeni n-a v\u0103zut vreodat\u0103 \u00eentrebarea “cine?” \u00een comentarii \u015fi a zis: “Uite, m\u0103, ce m\u00e2ndre\u0163e de intelectual”. To\u0163i au zis: “Uite, m\u0103, ce c\u0103cat cu ochi.”<\/p>\n

Ce \u00eenseamn\u0103…?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hai s\u0103 zicem, c\u00e2nd e\u015fti \u00eentr-o discu\u0163ie fa\u0163\u0103 \u00een fa\u0163\u0103 \u015fi nu vrei s\u0103 rupi flowul interac\u0163iunii, e ok s\u0103-l \u00eentrebi pe cel\u0103lalt ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 un anumit cuv\u00e2nt pe care nu-l cuno\u015fti. Dar c\u00e2nd e\u015fti \u00een sec\u0163iunea de comentarii a cuiva, \u015fi ai tot timpul din lume s\u0103 cau\u0163i \u00een 7.000.000 de dic\u0163ionare din lume, \u015fi statusul nu pleac\u0103 nic\u0103ieri \u00een cele zece secunde p\u00e2n\u0103 cau\u0163i tu, e absurd s\u0103 pretinzi ca altcineva s\u0103 fac\u0103 munca \u00een locul t\u0103u.
\nC\u00e2nd erai copil mic, p\u0103rin\u0163ii \u00ee\u0163i m\u0103cinau \u015fi-\u0163i mestecau m\u00e2ncarea, p\u00e2n\u0103 \u0163i-a crescut dantura suficient s\u0103 \u0163i-o mesteci singur. Acum, e\u015fti mare. Nimeni nu e obligat s\u0103 mestece pentru tine.<\/p>\n

Exi\u015fti cu adev\u0103rat?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Asta \u00een condi\u0163iile \u00een care sunt pe net 4780096533890 de fotografii cu mine din toate pozi\u0163iile, sunt mai activ\u0103 pe social media dec\u00e2t un manelist \u00eentr-o c\u00e2rcium\u0103 din D\u00e2lga \u015fi nimeni nu are motiv s\u0103 suspecteze c\u0103 o ga\u015fc\u0103 de japonezi s-au adunat s\u0103 creeze pe computer acest pattern de minun\u0103\u0163ie strict pentru a zg\u00e2ria retina rom\u00e2nului neao\u015f \u015fi a-l face s\u0103-\u015fi r\u00e2g\u00e2ie ple\u015fcoiul \u00eenapoi.
\nA, c\u0103 nu-\u0163i r\u0103spund \u0163ie la mesaje private? Are exact at\u00e2ta leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu existen\u0163a mea adev\u0103rat\u0103 c\u00e2t\u0103 are cu r\u0103zboiul stelelor. Se nume\u015fte setarea corect\u0103 a priorit\u0103\u0163ilor.
\nIar c\u00e2nd o s\u0103 vreau s\u0103-mi dedic toat\u0103 ziua messengerelii private pe net, o s\u0103-mi fac site-ul “La palavre cu Lorena”, unde o s\u0103 po\u0163i s\u0103 m\u0103 freci la icre toat\u0103 ziua, cu tarif orar, ca la psihologi. Pentru c\u0103 nimeni nu-\u0163i datoreaz\u0103 timpul lui personal, dec\u00e2t dac\u0103 alege s\u0103 \u0163i-l pun\u0103 la dispozi\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

Tu de fapt vrei s\u0103…?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Aici intr\u0103 orice fel de insinuare stupid\u0103 \u015fi pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 subiect.
\nExemplu: un idiot \u00eemi tot trimitea mesaje private irelevante. Eu pun statusul: V\u0103 rog din inim\u0103, nu mai c\u0103uta\u0163i s\u0103 m\u0103 ag\u0103\u0163a\u0163i. \u015ei o \u03c0zd\u0103 proast\u0103 se treze\u015fte coment\u00e2nd: “A, tu de fapt vrei s\u0103 inci\u0163i.”<\/p>\n

Da, de fapt vreau s-o incit pe m\u0103-ta s\u0103 poarte un sterilet, c\u0103 uite ce experimente genetice e\u015fuate \u00eei p\u0103r\u0103sesc vaginul.<\/p>\n

Nimic nu e mai enervant dec\u00e2t un om care caut\u0103 s\u0103 exprime o problem\u0103 \u015fi boii care \u00eei bag\u0103 aluzii paralele cu subiectul.<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 de fapt voiam s\u0103…, f\u0103ceam exact ce voiam s\u0103 fac.<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 de exemplu voiam s\u0103 m\u0103 f*t\u0103 \u015fi pe mine cineva de pe net, puteam \u00eentreba exact asta: “Care n-ai treab\u0103 \u00een seara asta?”. Pariez c\u0103 se adunau \u015fi fete, \u015fi b\u0103ie\u0163i, pe alese, s\u0103 am pe toat\u0103 luna viitoare.<\/p>\n

De ce rahat v\u0103 da\u0163i voi, blogg\u0103rii, cu p\u0103rerea pe orice subiect?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pentru c\u0103, uimire mare, asta e ideea \u00een a \u0163ine un website generalist \/ de divertisment. S\u0103 abordezi diverse teme de interes larg. E ca \u015fi cum ai \u00eentreba de ce croitorii stau cu ma\u015fina de cusut \u00een bra\u0163e sau de ce femeia de serviciu \u015fterge faian\u0163a.<\/p>\n

Drept care, \u00eentrebarea sufer\u0103 de retard \u00een form\u0103 deosebit de grav\u0103 \u015fi singurul r\u0103spuns adecvat mi se pare: “s\u0103 se mire pro\u015ftii”.<\/p>\n

De ce nu-mi argumentezi mai mult?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

O gr\u0103mad\u0103 oarecare de idio\u0163i au impresia c\u0103 cineva de pe net s-a n\u0103scut cu o obliga\u0163ie s\u0103 le ofere lor educa\u0163ie. \u015ei c\u0103 ai vreo datorie de la Dumnezeu s\u0103-i convingi de ceva. S\u0103 investe\u015fti timpul t\u0103u \u00een intelectul lor.<\/p>\n

\u00cen primii ani de blogging, chiar c\u0103deam \u00een capcana asta, \u015fi \u00een loc s\u0103-mi scriu urm\u0103torul roman, \u00eemi pierdeam c\u00e2te o dup\u0103-amiaz\u0103 c\u0103ut\u00e2nd s\u0103 destup mintal c\u00e2te un homofob sau s\u0103 civilizez c\u00e2te un gher\u0163oi. Not anymore.<\/p>\n

Educa\u0163ia e treaba p\u0103rin\u0163ilor t\u0103i, respectiv, de la 18 ani, a ta. Nu a mea. Dac\u0103 din 3-4 comentarii nu ajungem la un numitor comun, facem dup\u0103 cuvintele ilustrului Ion Creang\u0103: pa\u015fol na turbinka.<\/p>\n

De ce, dac\u0103 ne \u015ftim \u015fi \u00een via\u0163a real\u0103, m\u0103 tratezi ca pe un l\u0103bar oarecare pe pagina ta?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pe pagina mea tratez foarte respectuos pe oricine \u015fi penalizez numai mitoc\u0103nia. Or, dac\u0103 pentru ni\u015fte persoane, familiaritatea \u00eenseamn\u0103 free pass de tragere de br\u0103cinari, se pun ele singure \u00een postura de l\u0103bari oarecare, nu le pun eu.<\/p>\n

S\u0103 zicem c\u0103 eu \u015fi managerul general de la Ace, Brice \u015fi Carice SRL am fi beer buddies. Sear\u0103 de sear\u0103, prin c\u00e2rciumi, ne-am bea min\u0163ile, am arunca cu suspensorul de lustr\u0103 \u015fi am dansa Hey, Macarena pe mese.<\/p>\n

Asta se nume\u015fte AMICI\u0162IE PERSONAL\u0102. \u00cen nici un caz nu mi-a\u015f permite s\u0103 postez pe pagina Ace, Brice \u015fi Carice: B\u0103i, Gicu, mai \u0163ii minte cum dansai tu Lambada cu mopul?<\/p>\n

Pentru c\u0103 nu e treaba cump\u0103r\u0103torilor de ace, brice \u015fi carice cum dansa Gicu Lambada cu mopul. \u015ei nici nu c\u00e2\u015ftig, prin prietenie cu Gicu, vreun drept s\u0103 m\u0103 iau de cump\u0103r\u0103torii de ace, brice \u015fi carice, ca \u015fi cum am fi to\u0163i o mare familie.<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 nu e clar conceptul, vei p\u0103r\u0103si cercul meu social cu viteza luminii.<\/p>\n

De ce via\u0163a mea e de c*cat?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00cen majoritatea cazurilor e strict datorit\u0103 deciziilor TALE stupide. Te combini cu cel mai prost \u015fi te miri de ce e prost. Cau\u0163i s\u0103 schimbi oameni care nu vor s\u0103 se schimbe, \u00een loc s\u0103 cau\u0163i pe unii care-s exact cum \u00eei vrei din start. \u015ei a\u015fa mai departe. \u00cen loc s\u0103 te vaie\u0163i c\u0103 e de c*cat, \u00eentrebarea corect\u0103 ar fi: Ce solu\u0163ii pot g\u0103si?<\/p>\n

\u015ei dup\u0103 ce g\u0103se\u015fti solu\u0163ii, \u0162INE-TE \u00een plm de ele.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Apar la fiecare status. Vor s\u0103 sugereze cum persoana care le pune de\u0163ine o form\u0103 oarecare de superioritate prin faptul c\u0103 nu de\u0163ine r\u0103spunsul....<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14299,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14784","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/trollface.jpg?fit=400%2C400&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14784","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14784"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14784\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14787,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14784\/revisions\/14787"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14299"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14784"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14784"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14784"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}