{"id":15006,"date":"2018-05-25T10:16:58","date_gmt":"2018-05-25T07:16:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=15006"},"modified":"2018-05-25T10:16:58","modified_gmt":"2018-05-25T07:16:58","slug":"portretul-robot-al-barbatului-adevarat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/portretul-robot-al-barbatului-adevarat\/","title":{"rendered":"Portretul robot al b\u0103rbatului adev\u0103rat"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd, c\u00e2te un blog feminin public\u0103 o list\u0103 de reguli care definesc B\u0103rbatul Adev\u0103rat TM. \u015etie din prima c\u0103 te vrea pentru o via\u0163\u0103, st\u0103 \u015fi-n cap, \u015fi-n cel\u0103lalt cap, dar totodat\u0103 cedeaz\u0103 instant la refuz, \u015fi totodat\u0103 cumva ghice\u015fte magic c\u00e2nd tu \u00eel dore\u015fti \u015fi nu-i ar\u0103\u0163i, \u015fi aduce cadouri scumpe \u00een fiecare zi, \u015fi nu pune niciodat\u0103 \u00eentreb\u0103ri cretine, dar miraculos \u015ftie toate r\u0103spunsurile, \u015fi totodat\u0103 \u0163ine cont \u015fi de p\u0103rerea ta, \u015fi s\u0103 te ia \u00een serios, dar s\u0103 nu se lase demoralizat de repro\u015furi, \u015fi etc. etc. etc. etc.<\/p>\n<p>Apoi o sharuiesc b\u0103rba\u0163ii \u015fi pun \u00eentrebarea, perfect rezonabil\u0103 pe baza acestui h\u0103\u0163i\u015f de abera\u0163ii contradictorii: ce dracu&#8217; vor de fapt femeile.<\/p>\n<p>Probabil c\u0103 nici ele nu \u015ftiu.<\/p>\n<p>Dar cert e c\u0103 lista \u00een\u015firat\u0103 mai sus nu echivaleaz\u0103 cu c\u0103utarea unui partener, care e \u015fi el om, \u00een carne \u015fi oase, cu lips\u0103 de calciu, miopie, ocazionale migrene \u015fi c\u00e2te un c\u00e2rcel la mu\u015fchii piciorului, deh, ca oamenii, ci sun\u0103 mai degrab\u0103 a c\u0103utarea lui Dumnezeu. Atotputernic, atoatecunosc\u0103tor, f\u0103c\u0103torul celor lume\u015fti \u015fi cere\u015fti.<\/p>\n<p>Foarte des, duduile aflate \u00een c\u0103utarea b\u0103rbatului adev\u0103rat vor ca numitul pretendent, dac\u0103 tot e adev\u0103rat, s\u0103 fie solu\u0163ia tuturor problemelor lor emo\u0163ionale, financiare, de integrare \u00een societate \u015fi, dac\u0103 se poate, \u015fi epifania zilnic\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Realitatea este c\u0103 sunt pe lume mul\u0163i b\u0103rba\u0163i buni. Mul\u0163i b\u0103rba\u0163i tandri \u015fi afectuo\u015fi. Mul\u0163i b\u0103rba\u0163i genero\u015fi financiar. Mul\u0163i b\u0103rba\u0163i aten\u0163i la sentimentele \u015fi deciziile tale. Mul\u0163i b\u0103rba\u0163i care \u015ftiu s\u0103 repare lucruri \u00een cas\u0103. Mul\u0163i b\u0103rba\u0163i care au sim\u0163ul umorului, danseaz\u0103 \u00een ploaie, vor copii \u015fi ulterior nepo\u0163i.<\/p>\n<p>Dar exist\u0103 c\u00e2teva probleme. \u015ei anume.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>Nici un b\u0103rbat nu le poate avea pe toate.\u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>A\u015fa cum nici o femeie din lume nu le poate avea pe toate. Unele sunt frumoase ca ni\u015fte zei\u0163e, altele o rev\u0103rsare de inteligen\u0163\u0103 \u015fi cultur\u0103, altele gospodine perfecte. Se mai suprapun periodic calit\u0103\u0163ile, dar nu toate, nu \u00een acela\u015fi timp, nu \u00een aceea\u015fi femeie.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei dac\u0103 tu \u00eei iei pe to\u0163i la r\u00e2nd cu o list\u0103 abstract\u0103 de preten\u0163ii, le iei ca de la sine \u00een\u0163elese pe cele care corespund \u015fi i le repro\u015fezi pe cele care nu, rezultatul va fi eterna deziluzie. \u015ei asta pentru c\u0103<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. Nici un b\u0103rbat nu s-a n\u0103scut cu datoria celest\u0103 s\u0103 fie r\u0103spunsul lui Dumnezeu la toate nevoile tale.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Exist\u0103 aceast\u0103 absurditate a a\u015ftept\u0103rilor la ambele sexe. Pe de o parte, ca b\u0103rbat, dac\u0103 pune Gigel ochii pe una, aia e obligat\u0103 s\u0103 livreze, c\u0103 de nu, vede ea pe dracu&#8217;. Dar dac\u0103 Vasilica pune ochii pe Gigel, el trebuie s\u0103 fac\u0103 \u015fi aia, \u015fi aia, \u015fi aia, \u015fi aia, \u015fi s\u0103 nu dea dracu&#8217; s\u0103 uite s-o fac\u0103 \u015fi pe aia.<\/p>\n<p>De aceea, rela\u0163iile dintre oameni &#8211; sau cel pu\u0163in \u00eentre oameni educa\u0163i gre\u015fit &#8211; sunt condamnate din fa\u015f\u0103. Vine userul Matur Caut\u0103 P\u0103s\u0103. \u00cemi d\u0103 mesaj: Ce faci, frumoasa?<\/p>\n<p>Eu: Nu sunt frumoasa, am un nume, iar ce fac eu se vede pe net, la un google.<\/p>\n<p>MCP: Voi, infatuatele de azi.<\/p>\n<p>Eu: (block)<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei peste patru zile, Matur Caut\u0103 P\u0103s\u0103 vrea s\u0103-\u015fi fac\u0103 site, ar avea nevoie de cineva cu umor s\u0103-i fac\u0103 un content care s\u0103 nu duhneasc\u0103 a cli\u015feu, eu a\u015f fi omul perfect pentru asta, dar pixu&#8217;, Matur Caut\u0103 P\u0103s\u0103 tocmai \u015fi-a ars podurile cu mine c\u00e2nd a \u00eencercat s\u0103 m\u0103 trateze ca pe o prostituat\u0103 de pe centur\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Valabil\u0103 \u015fi reciproca.<\/p>\n<p>\u00cel cunoa\u015fte Vasilica pe Ionel. B\u0103iat bun, dr\u0103gu\u0163. \u015ei \u00een loc s\u0103 vad\u0103 materialul uman bun \u015fi de calitate, Vasilica se apuc\u0103 s\u0103-l frece la icre c\u0103 de ce nu r\u0103spunde imediat la mesaje, de ce prefer\u0103 chatul, care e instrumentarul pu\u0163oilor, apelului propriu-zis, c\u0103 a\u015fa comunic\u0103 maturii, de ce nu o prezint\u0103 direct \u00eentregului cerc de prieteni \u015fi maic\u0103-sii \u015fi de ce nu se mut\u0103 \u00eempreun\u0103 de la al treilea date.<\/p>\n<p>Simplu.<\/p>\n<p>Pentru c\u0103 Ionel nu are o datorie scris\u0103 de la Dumnezeu s\u0103 fie solu\u0163ia la toate nevoile tale.<\/p>\n<p>Sigur, un partener iubitor poate oferi lucruri, \u015fi o \u015fi face. O face din afec\u0163iune \u015fi din ini\u0163iativ\u0103 proprie. \u00cen schimb, lista de preten\u0163ii nejustificate tinde s\u0103 ucid\u0103 exact afec\u0163iunea \u015fi ini\u0163iativa, adic\u0103 exact lucrurile care stau la baza gesturilor fabuloase ale B\u0103rbatului Adev\u0103rat TM.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. Nici un b\u0103rbat nu are cum s\u0103 \u015ftie din prima ce vrea de la tine.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Pe asta am citit-o zilele trecute pe blogul unei idioate. B\u0103rbatul adev\u0103rat te ia de-a gata, se ofer\u0103 s\u0103 te ia de acas\u0103 la prima \u00eent\u00e2lnire, \u015ftie de la prima vedere c\u0103 vrea morm\u00e2nt comun cu tine \u015fi etc.<\/p>\n<p>Sincer, ce descria ea aici e At\u00e2rnache Disperat TM, iar dac\u0103 unul s-ar comporta a\u015fa cu ea din prima, ar \u00eencepe s\u0103 miorl\u0103ie: &#8220;Fat\u0103\u0103\u0103, ce abuziv e \u0103la, m\u0103 sufoc\u0103\u0103\u0103.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Dimpotriv\u0103, \u0103la care \u015ftie foarte bine din prima ce vrea de la tine e tipul care vrea s\u0103-\u0163i administreze un ciocan scurt, \u00eendesat \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 obliga\u0163ii. \u015ei de obicei nu e nimic personal, e doar foarte horny \u015fi tu tocmai treceai pe acolo.<\/p>\n<p>Omul care chiar caut\u0103 o partener\u0103 e precaut. Pentru c\u0103, \u00een forul lui interior, e la fel de vulnerabil cum e\u015fti \u015fi tu. Poate \u015fi-a luat \u015fi el ni\u015fte \u0163epe cum \u0163i-ai luat \u015fi tu. I-a zis una c\u0103-l iube\u015fte, apoi \u00een trei zile l-a p\u0103r\u0103sit pentru cel mai bun prieten. I-a promis una c\u0103 se m\u0103rit\u0103 cu el, apoi a r\u0103mas gravid\u0103 cu altul. \u015ei a\u015fa mai departe.<\/p>\n<p><strong>4. \u015ei nu doar el trebuie s\u0103 corespund\u0103 a\u015ftept\u0103rilor tale, ci \u015fi tu a\u015ftept\u0103rilor lui.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Dar l-am \u00eentrebat ce vrea de la o femeie.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Uneori, nici omul nu \u015ftie s\u0103 zic\u0103 \u00een cuvinte ce vrea o femeie.<\/p>\n<p>Dac\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eentrebai la 18 ani ce vreau de la un tip, \u00ee\u0163i ziceam: s\u0103 fie foarte de\u015ftept, s\u0103 aib\u0103 mult umor, s\u0103 \u015ftie s\u0103 conduc\u0103 o conversa\u0163ie \u015fi s\u0103 m\u0103 fac\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 scurg sub mas\u0103 ca un pachet de unt l\u0103sat la soare.<\/p>\n<p>Apoi am \u00eenceput s\u0103 am pove\u015fti reale cu b\u0103rba\u0163i. \u015ei chiar dac\u0103 nu \u015ftiam s\u0103 zic cu vorbe, m\u0103 pomeneam c\u0103 apreciez tactul, diploma\u0163ia, faptul c\u0103 \u015ftiau s\u0103 glumeasc\u0103 dac\u0103 nimereau un chelnera\u015f z\u0103p\u0103cit \u00een prima zi de lucru \u015fi s\u0103 detensioneze situa\u0163ia, faptul c\u0103 m\u0103 corectau \u00een \u015foapt\u0103 dac\u0103 gre\u015feam \u015fi nu m\u0103 f\u0103ceau public de r\u00e2s, faptul c\u0103 dac\u0103 min\u0163eam pe unii c\u0103 nu pot ajunge undeva, \u00eemi erau complici \u00een minciuni, \u015fi a\u015fa mai departe. Pe scurt, calit\u0103\u0163i umane.<\/p>\n<p>Mici, greu de definit. Dar ele asigur\u0103 confortul \u015fi relaxarea interac\u0163iunii de zi cu zi.<\/p>\n<p>Tu ce faci pentru confortul \u015fi relaxarea interac\u0163iunii de zi cu zi cu cel\u0103lalt?<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Dar mi-a zis c\u0103 vrea fela\u0163ia vie\u0163ii lui \u015fi i-am muls-o \u00eentre amigdale, \u00een timp ce-i stimulam prostata cu un deget \u00een c*r.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Dac\u0103 dup\u0103 zece minute, deja \u0163ipai ca o harpie proast\u0103, eventual pentru ceva ce nici nu era vina lui, i-ai f\u0103cut-o fix degeaba.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5. \u015ei po\u0163i s\u0103 faci pe dracu-n patru, \u015fi la final tot s\u0103 nu te plac\u0103 foarte tare.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Rela\u0163iile dintre oameni sunt o chestie ciudat\u0103. Sunt oameni c\u0103rora nu le prea suntem simpatici, \u015fi orice am face, nu le vom fi simpatici niciodat\u0103. Pentru c\u0103 interac\u0163iunea dintre oameni nu se bazeaz\u0103 doar pe cauzalitate \u015fi ra\u0163iune, ci pe un flux de emo\u0163ii, energii \u015fi r\u0103spunsuri ale subcon\u015ftientului.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Ce am gre\u015fit, dac\u0103 nu mai vrea s\u0103 ne vedem&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>Posibil nimic. Nu e vorba de ce faci, ci de ce transmi\u0163i energetic \u015fi emo\u0163ional. Dac\u0103 nu a existat je ne sais quoi, ghinion.<\/p>\n<p><strong>6. Nimeni nu poate fi b\u0103rbat adev\u0103rat cu toat\u0103 lumea\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>To\u0163i a\u0163i asistat pe wallul meu la urm\u0103torul schimb de replici:<\/p>\n<p>Gher\u0163oi random: *insult\u0103*<\/p>\n<p>Eu: Ba m\u0103-ta.<\/p>\n<p>Gher\u0163oi random: Cum s\u0103 m\u0103 insul\u0163i, unde \u0163i-e feminitatea?<\/p>\n<p>Eu: Da&#8217; ce, b\u0103i, otreap\u0103, \u00ee\u0163i datorez eu \u0163ie feminitate? Fuck no. Eu datorez feminitate oamenilor c\u0103rora ALEG EU s\u0103 le ofer feminitate, nu oric\u0103rui \u0163\u0103ran prost care trece.<\/p>\n<p>Bun.<\/p>\n<p>Nu dator\u0103m feminitate doar pentru c\u0103 un bou crede c\u0103 i se cuvine, suntem feminine cu cine vrem noi \u015fi, \u00een principal, cu cine merit\u0103. Ei, bine, a\u015fa \u015fi b\u0103rba\u0163ii.<\/p>\n<p>Sigur, un nivel elementar de curtoazie e firesc \u00een orice interac\u0163iune uman\u0103. Salut, conversa\u0163ie politicoas\u0103, de-astea. Nu e normal s\u0103 ne gher\u0163oim unii la al\u0163ii, doar pentru c\u0103 putem.<\/p>\n<p>Dar a\u015fa cum noi ne alegem explicit c\u0103tre cine direc\u0163ion\u0103m energia calin\u0103, catifelat\u0103, ginga\u015f\u0103, numit\u0103 \u00eendeob\u015fte feminitate, \u015fi ei aleg explicit cui d\u0103ruiesc devotamentul, pasiunea, generozitatea \u015fi for\u0163a care compun acest pache\u0163el numit b\u0103rbat adev\u0103rat.<\/p>\n<p>Nu, nici ei nu-l datoreaz\u0103 oricui trece.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei da, unii nu \u00eel au deloc. Dar asta se poate identifica relativ repede \u015fi solu\u0163ia e s\u0103 &#8220;move on&#8221; pe t\u0103cute, nu s\u0103 \u0163ipi la el c\u0103 nu e b\u0103rbat adev\u0103rat. E ca \u015fi cum ai \u0163ipa la un surd c\u0103 de ce e surd. Nu e vina lui. A\u015fa a ie\u015fit din fabric\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Foto: Yandex.com.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div>\u00a0***<\/div>\n<p>\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/paypal.me\/Trollywood\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-14577\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=160%2C160&amp;ssl=1 160w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=320%2C320&amp;ssl=1 320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=184%2C184&amp;ssl=1 184w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=600%2C600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=100%2C100&amp;ssl=1 100w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?w=931&amp;ssl=1 931w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd, c\u00e2te un blog feminin public\u0103 o list\u0103 de reguli care definesc B\u0103rbatul Adev\u0103rat TM. \u015etie din prima c\u0103 te vrea&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15007,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15006","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/beauty.jpg?fit=400%2C400&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15006","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15006"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15006\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15011,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15006\/revisions\/15011"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15007"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15006"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15006"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15006"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}