{"id":15030,"date":"2018-05-29T10:12:29","date_gmt":"2018-05-29T07:12:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=15030"},"modified":"2018-05-29T10:57:37","modified_gmt":"2018-05-29T07:57:37","slug":"vioricisme","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/vioricisme\/","title":{"rendered":"Vioricisme"},"content":{"rendered":"

Cine cite\u015fte regulat acest site \u015ftie c\u0103 unul din hobby-urile mele este tr\u0103nc\u0103neala la telefon cu fetele. \u015etiu, pi\u0163iponceal\u0103. \ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n

Ieri, cu fosta mea coleg\u0103 de clas\u0103 Ottilia.<\/p>\n

Eu: B\u0103i, Otti, cred c\u0103 e cazul s\u0103-mi fac coming outul.<\/p>\n

Ottilia: \u00cen sf\u00e2r\u015fit.<\/p>\n

Eu: M-am \u00eendr\u0103gostit lemn de Veorica.<\/p>\n

Ottilia: S\u0103 mori tu.<\/p>\n

Eu: S\u0103 mor. \u00cenc\u0103 n-am p\u0103\u0163it s\u0103 gug\u0103lesc un politician \u015fi s\u0103-i v\u0103d filmule\u0163ele pe Youtube, ore \u00een \u015fir, s\u0103 r\u00e2d cu stropi de ele. Nici m\u0103car cu Trump. De\u015fi \u015fi Trump e pe un loc doi str\u00e2ns.<\/p>\n

Ottilia: Da, frate, c\u00e2te prostii spune.<\/p>\n

Eu: Doamne, \u015fi cum le spune. A\u015fa pufos \u015fi m\u0103t\u0103sos, ca o vi\u0163elu\u015f\u0103 cald\u0103 \u015fi senin\u0103. Sincer, m\u0103 \u00eencearc\u0103 o erec\u0163ie fioroas\u0103. Dar m\u0103 \u00eentreb altceva. B\u0103i, femeia asta e prea constant\u0103 \u00een a livra inep\u0163ia comic\u0103 a zilei.<\/p>\n

Ottilia: P\u0103i da, prostul e constant.<\/p>\n

Eu: Nu chiar. Prostul autentic e variabil, precum cotele apelor Dun\u0103rii. Are zile \u00een care aproape c\u0103 g\u00e2nde\u015fte. Pe c\u00e2nd Viorica \u00ee\u015fi d\u0103 imunoglobinele \u015fi dou\u0103zeci-dou\u0103zeciurile dup\u0103 ceas. M\u0103 \u00eentreb dac\u0103 nu cumva e o actri\u0163\u0103 excep\u0163ional\u0103 \u015fi cineva scrie scenariul dup\u0103 care joac\u0103. \u00cen a\u015fa fel \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 fim ocupa\u0163i s\u0103 r\u00e2dem \u015fi restul s\u0103 poat\u0103 fura \u00een lini\u015fte.<\/p>\n

Ottilia: B\u0103i, Lore, tu mai \u0163ii minte magazinele Eves din Sf\u00e2ntu Gheorghe?<\/p>\n

Eu: Frate, am plecat de 14 ani din Sf\u00e2ntu Gheorghe.<\/p>\n

Ottilia: Magazinele astea Eves se r\u0103sp\u00e2ndiser\u0103 prin tot ora\u015ful, ca r\u00e2ia, \u015fi cump\u0103raser\u0103 fiecare mic chio\u015fc de la to\u0163i Janos bacsi din anii 90. \u015ei nimeni nu \u015ftia ale cui sunt, cine e patronatul. Mister total. P\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd s-a angajat o prieten\u0103 la ei.<\/p>\n

Eu: A\u015fa.<\/p>\n

Ottilia: Eves venea de la cele dou\u0103 patroane, Eva \u015fi Eszter. Tot lan\u0163ul era al lor.<\/p>\n

Eu: Aha. \u015ei ce leg\u0103tur\u0103 are asta cu Vio?<\/p>\n

Ottilia: Evike \u015fi Esztike fuseser\u0103 am\u00e2ndou\u0103 femei de serviciu. Erau proaste \u015fi analfabete de beh\u0103iau. \u015eedin\u0163ele cu ele erau surs\u0103 de r\u00e2s cu pi\u015fare pentru to\u0163i din firm\u0103.<\/p>\n

Faza era c\u0103 adev\u0103ra\u0163ii proprietari erau ni\u015fte mah\u0103ri mari din (partid popular prin zon\u0103), care voiau s\u0103 spele ace\u015fti bani. \u015ei f\u0103cuser\u0103 acte pe numele lui Evike \u015fi Eszterke, alese \u00een mod special pentru distrac\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

Eu: B\u0103i, dar Evike \u015fi Eszterke nu se sim\u0163eau prost \u00een context?<\/p>\n

Ottilia: Evike \u015fi Eszterke c\u00e2\u015ftigau de zece ori salariul lor vechi de la sp\u0103lat casa sc\u0103rilor. Le durea \u00een \u03c0zd\u0103. Tr\u0103iau succesul vie\u0163ii lor. Cu Vio e mai nasol, c\u0103 st\u0103 la vil\u0103 \u015fi n-are vecini.<\/p>\n

Eu: Adic\u0103?<\/p>\n

Ottilia: La bloc, ai vecini. \u0162ii minte, \u00een copil\u0103rie, c\u00e2nd mamele aveau cod Morse de b\u0103tut \u00een \u0163eava de gaz: “Vino pe la mine”. Dac\u0103 vecina b\u0103tea o singur\u0103 dat\u0103, venea. Dac\u0103 b\u0103tea de dou\u0103 ori, ajunsese b\u0103rbatu-su beat acas\u0103 \u015fi nu putea s\u0103 plece.<\/p>\n

Eu: Da, \u0163in minte.<\/p>\n

Ottilia: Vecinii sunt buni la casa omului. \u00ce\u0163i mai dau o carte de gramatic\u0103. \u00ce\u0163i mai dau un num\u0103r de telefon de la o coafez\u0103 bun\u0103. \u00ce\u0163i mai \u00eemprumut\u0103 un sacou bine croit. Nu te las\u0103 s\u0103 te faci total de r\u00e2s. Asta e problema Veoric\u0103i: st\u0103 la vil\u0103 \u015fi n-are vecini.<\/p>\n

Eu: Cred c\u0103 m\u0103 bag \u00eenapoi pe YouTube s\u0103 v\u0103d dac\u0103 mai e ceva nou cu Veorica, dragostea mea. \u015ei \u00eel invidiez \u00een continuare pe scenaristul care-i scrie partitura. E de Oscar.<\/p>\n

Foto: Getty.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0***<\/div>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Cine cite\u015fte regulat acest site \u015ftie c\u0103 unul din hobby-urile mele este tr\u0103nc\u0103neala la telefon cu fetele. \u015etiu, pi\u0163iponceal\u0103. \ud83d\ude00 Ieri, cu fosta mea...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15031,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15030","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/Scilla-mischtschenkoana.jpg?fit=620%2C413&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15030","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15030"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15030\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15036,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15030\/revisions\/15036"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15031"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15030"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15030"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15030"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}