{"id":15051,"date":"2018-06-02T11:12:44","date_gmt":"2018-06-02T08:12:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=15051"},"modified":"2018-06-02T11:18:48","modified_gmt":"2018-06-02T08:18:48","slug":"nu-lasa-negativitatea-de-pe-net-sa-te-modeleze","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/nu-lasa-negativitatea-de-pe-net-sa-te-modeleze\/","title":{"rendered":"Nu l\u0103sa negativitatea de pe net s\u0103 te modeleze"},"content":{"rendered":"

Acum dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni, am avut pl\u0103cerea de a fi speaker la Express Ideas, o conferin\u0163\u0103 organizat\u0103 de Asocia\u0163ia Studen\u0163ilor \u00een \u015etiin\u0163e Politice a Universit\u0103\u0163ii din Bucure\u015fti. \u015ei, de\u015fi ini\u0163ial avusesem alte idei – de obicei, c\u00e2nd fac un speech, prefer s\u0103 nu-l tocesc pe dinafar\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103-l recit ca pe “Somnoroase p\u0103s\u0103rele” la serbarea de la finalul gr\u0103dini\u0163ei, ci iau o foaie, trec pe ea cu puncte – 1, 2, 3, etc. ideile principale pe care vreau s\u0103 le ating, apoi debitez \u00een flux liber \u00een jurul lor – am vrut s\u0103 \u015fi v\u0103d ce doresc s\u0103 afle de la mine ace\u015fti tineri adul\u0163i. <\/p>\n

\u015ei, desigur, curiozitatea popular\u0103 s-a \u00eendreptat spre negativitatea de pe internet. <\/p>\n

Po\u0163i controla negativitatea de pe internet? <\/p>\n

Nu, \u015fi nici nu e recomandat. Esen\u0163a democra\u0163iei const\u0103 \u00een libera exprimare. Orice om are dreptul s\u0103 simt\u0103 ceea ce simte, \u015fi are dreptul s\u0103 exprime ceea ce simte. Sinceritatea e singura baz\u0103 onest\u0103 pe care se pot cl\u0103di rela\u0163ii, asocieri \u015fi chiar business-uri. <\/p>\n

Dar po\u0163i controla 1. abilitatea persoanei negative de a te contacta propriu-zis
\n2. calitatea aten\u0163iei cu care r\u0103spunzi abord\u0103rilor negative
\n3. disponibilitatea ta de a te plia pe informa\u0163ia cu care vine persoana negativ\u0103. <\/p>\n

E inerent naturii umane s\u0103 c\u0103ut\u0103m s\u0103 v\u00e2n\u0103m aprecierea semenilor no\u015ftri \u015fi, prin urmare, dac\u0103 o fotografie are, s\u0103 zicem, o sut\u0103 de comentarii entuziaste \u015fi unul care te face ur\u00e2t \u015fi gras, s\u0103 ne l\u0103s\u0103m r\u0103ni\u0163i EXACT de \u0103la. E exact mecanismul prin care a func\u0163ionat presiunea social\u0103, adic\u0103 spiritul de turm\u0103, de secole. \u015ei a\u015fa, oamenii au fost manipula\u0163i s\u0103 accepte ideologii periculoase pentru ei \u00een\u015fi\u015fi, \u015fi care au f\u0103cut mii de victime nevinovate. Inchizi\u0163ia nu s-ar fi \u00eent\u00e2mplat dac\u0103 un num\u0103r rezonabil de cet\u0103\u0163eni ar fi pus public problema: Dar de ce se presupune c\u0103 to\u0163i trebuie s\u0103 fim egal de habotnici? Holocaustul nu s-ar fi \u00eent\u00e2mplat dac\u0103 un num\u0103r rezonabil de cet\u0103\u0163eni ar fi pus problema: dar oare avem noi real drept de via\u0163\u0103 \u015fi de moarte asupra altora strict pentru c\u0103 avem etnia decretat\u0103 de unii drept cea aleas\u0103. \u015ei a\u015fa mai departe. <\/p>\n

Negativitatea de pe internet are rareori leg\u0103tur\u0103 real\u0103 cu tine ca persoan\u0103, cu ceea ce faci cu adev\u0103rat, \u015fi cu ceea ce te define\u015fte. Adic\u0103: rareori a\u0163i v\u0103zut un hater care s\u0103-\u015fi acorde timp s\u0103 te cunoasc\u0103 \u00een profunzime, s\u0103 te \u00een\u0163eleag\u0103 din r\u0103d\u0103cini \u015fi p\u00e2n\u0103 la coroan\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 prezinte o p\u0103rere nuan\u0163at\u0103, cu argumente complexe. <\/p>\n

De obicei, negativitatea de pe net are leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu urm\u0103toarele aspecte. <\/p>\n

A) Rolul t\u0103u predeterminat din mintea haterului <\/strong><\/p>\n

O bun\u0103 parte din hateri revars\u0103 ur\u0103 peste mine pentru c\u0103 nu sunt o femeie \u00een sensul clasic al cuv\u00e2ntului. Faptul de care nu \u0163in ei cont este c\u0103 nici nu m-am l\u0103udat vreodat\u0103 c\u0103 a\u015f fi a\u015fa ceva, nu t\u00e2njesc spre a\u015fa ceva \u015fi nu le datorez lor cl\u0103tite calde la cin\u0103.
\nDac\u0103 e s\u0103 punem \u00een balan\u0163\u0103 nevoia ta de a fi autentic cu tine \u00eensu\u0163i, \u015fi nevoile altora de a te vedea \u00eentr-un anumit fel, prioritatea este… exact, \u00een nevoile tale legate de tine \u00eensu\u0163i. Restul omenirii \u00ee\u0163i poate cere lucruri doar \u00een m\u0103sura \u00een care nu te contrazici pe tine \u00eensu\u0163i oferindu-le. <\/p>\n

B) Proiec\u0163ia unei identit\u0103\u0163i preconcepute din mintea haterului.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 a\u015f avea c\u00e2te un leu de fiecare ins care m-a f\u0103cut “c**v\u0103”, a\u015f fi acum \u00een Bora Bora. Dar realitatea obiectiv\u0103 a situa\u0163iei este c\u0103 ace\u015fti oameni nu \u015ftiu nimic despre istoricul meu amoros \u015fi, chiar dac\u0103 ar \u015fti, nu ar avea de ce s\u0103 fie problema lor.
\nHai s\u0103 presupunem c\u0103 \u00een to\u0163i ace\u015fti ani, eu am fost blogger \u015fi scriitor ziua, \u015fi noaptea dansam striptease la “Calul n\u0103r\u0103va\u015f”. Te-ar influen\u0163a cu ceva aceast\u0103 informa\u0163ie? Face ea ca textele pe care le public s\u0103 fie mai pu\u0163in savuroase? Fuck no.
\n\u015ei am vreun motiv s\u0103 iau \u00een seam\u0103 proiec\u0163ii care NU au nici un fel de leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu persoana mea real\u0103?
\nNOPE. <\/p>\n

C) Impresia eronat\u0103 a haterului c\u0103 tu \u00eei datorezi un serviciu.<\/strong><\/p>\n

“F\u0103-m\u0103 s\u0103 r\u00e2d!”
\nDar poate nu vreau. Nu m-am n\u0103scut cu datoria sf\u00e2nt\u0103 s\u0103 te amuz pe tine, \u015fi o fac doar c\u00e2nd \u015fi dac\u0103 e interesant \u015fi pentru mine.
\n“Nu mai scrie despre bullying pe net \/ pisici \/ LGBT \/ whatever”
\n\u00cenc\u0103 o dat\u0103: blogul meu nu e un serviciu public. Nu e TVR. Nu e finan\u0163at de Ministerul Culturii \u015fi de b\u0103nu\u0163ul contribuabilului, s\u0103 r\u0103spund\u0103 nevoilor largi ale popula\u0163iei, \u015fi prin urmare, reac\u0163iile sup\u0103rate, de client nesatisf\u0103cut c\u0103 ciorba a fost prea rece sunt complet nelalocul lor. <\/p>\n

D) Oftica unor hateri c\u0103 tu ob\u0163ii rezultate mai bune dec\u00e2t ei<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00cen cazul meu, a\u015f enumera scriitora\u015fii \u015fi influiens\u0103rii de care eu \u00eencap bine mersi, nu-i deranjez cu nimic niciodat\u0103, dar care periodic caut\u0103 s\u0103 atrag\u0103 simpatie de la categoriile A, B \u015fi C, public\u00e2nd \u00eenjur\u0103turi la adresa mea.
\nProblema cu materialul uman al categoriilor A, B \u015fi C e c\u0103 ace\u015ftia nu vor fi niciodat\u0103 cititori constructivi \u015fi sus\u0163in\u0103tori autentici. Trag la ur\u0103 precum \u0163\u00e2n\u0163arii la s\u00e2nge, se b\u0103l\u0103cesc \u00een ea c\u00e2t exist\u0103, apoi dispar din secunda \u00een care s-a terminat circul. N-o s\u0103-i vezi niciodat\u0103 la un eveniment, pl\u0103tind bilet. N-o s\u0103 dea niciodat\u0103 share la anun\u0163ul noului t\u0103u roman. Pl\u0103cerea lor fa\u0163\u0103 de scandal e la fel de independent\u0103 de persoan\u0103 precum e ura fa\u0163\u0103 de tine. <\/p>\n

\u00cen ce m\u0103sur\u0103 se justific\u0103 s\u0103 te la\u015fi modelat de aceste interese care, precum se vede, nu te au \u00een considerare nici c\u00e2t negru sub unghie? <\/p>\n

Foarte pu\u0163in spre deloc. <\/p>\n

\u015ei acest mod de a procesa negativitatea, \u015fi \u00een ultim\u0103 m\u0103sur\u0103, de a-i rezista activ, poate fi aplicat la fel de bine \u015fi \u00een via\u0163a real\u0103.
\nAi de ales \u00eentre a fi tu \u00eensu\u0163i \u015fi a fi suma presiunilor aleatorii ale unor elemente care nu s-au deranjat s\u0103 te cunoasc\u0103. <\/p>\n

Mi se pare c\u0103 alegerea e evident\u0103. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0***<\/div>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Acum dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni, am avut pl\u0103cerea de a fi speaker la Express Ideas, o conferin\u0163\u0103 organizat\u0103 de Asocia\u0163ia Studen\u0163ilor \u00een \u015etiin\u0163e Politice a Universit\u0103\u0163ii...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15052,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15051","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/lorena-brd.jpg?fit=1013%2C675&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15051","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15051"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15051\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15054,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15051\/revisions\/15054"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15052"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15051"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15051"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15051"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}