{"id":15184,"date":"2018-06-26T09:47:38","date_gmt":"2018-06-26T06:47:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=15184"},"modified":"2018-06-26T09:58:40","modified_gmt":"2018-06-26T06:58:40","slug":"cafelele-lui-vasile","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/cafelele-lui-vasile\/","title":{"rendered":"Cafelele lui Vasile"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Primul lucru pe care-l f\u0103cea Vasile diminea\u0163a, de cum \u00ee\u015fi extr\u0103gea osemintele din pat, era o cafea. F\u0103r\u0103 cafea, lumea lui Vasile era posomor\u00e2t\u0103 \u015fi ce\u0163oas\u0103, cam ca mintea Vioric\u0103i. \u00cenainte de prima cafea, Vasile era posac precum un ortodox la parada de gay \u015fi sumbru ca o ordonan\u0163\u0103 de urgen\u0163\u0103 pesedist\u0103. <\/p>\n<p>Vasile avea \u015fi el o v\u00e2rst\u0103. Prin urmare, stomacul protesta la cafea neagr\u0103. N-o mai putea bea ca la dou\u0103zeci de ani, cinci linguri\u0163e cu v\u00e2rf \u00een echivalentul unei c\u0103ni cu ap\u0103 \u015fi nimic altceva. Se obi\u015fnuise s-o fac\u0103 la fel de concentrat\u0103, dar cu ap\u0103 numai de o jum\u0103tate de can\u0103, \u015fi \u00een rest, lapte. \u00cen continuare f\u0103r\u0103 zah\u0103r, pentru c\u0103 zah\u0103rul e moartea alb\u0103. <\/p>\n<p>Toate ca toate, p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00eentr-o miercuri, \u00een mijlocul unei s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni extrem de grele pentru Vasile, cu mult\u0103 alerg\u0103tur\u0103 \u015fi mult\u0103 munc\u0103 pe br\u00e2nci. Se trezi ca de obicei, \u00ee\u015fi c\u0103r\u0103 cu greu hoitul p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een buc\u0103t\u0103rie, puse ibricul pe foc, f\u0103cu cafeaua, apoi deschise frigiderul \u015fi&#8230;<br \/>\n-P*la lapte.<br \/>\n\u00ce\u015fi aminti ce\u0163os \u015fi vag cum \u00ee\u015fi trasase sarcin\u0103 s\u0103 cumpere lapte, dar pe drumuri fiind, se luase cu treab\u0103, oameni, discu\u0163ii, probleme, urgen\u0163e, rahaturi, \u015fi uitase cu des\u0103v\u00e2r\u015fire de lapte.<br \/>\n-Baag p***la, oft\u0103 din r\u0103runchi Vasile.<br \/>\nComplet\u0103 cu ap\u0103, b\u0103g\u0103 \u00een gur\u0103 dou\u0103 tablete de Dicarbocalm, preventiv, ca b\u0103tutu&#8217; nevestei, trei &#8220;Tat\u0103l Nostru&#8221;, de pansament gastric, apoi \u00eenghi\u0163i cafeaua cr\u00e2ncen de amar\u0103 cu noduri. Medit\u00e2nd tragic la stomacul invincibil \u015fi impenetrabil pe care-l avusese la dou\u0103zeci de ani. <\/p>\n<p>*** <\/p>\n<p>Joi diminea\u0163\u0103. Vasile se b\u0103l\u0103ng\u0103ni terminat de somn \u015fi de letargie matinal\u0103 spre buc\u0103t\u0103rie. Puse apa la fiert. Lu\u0103 cutia de cafea. O deschise. \u015ei v\u0103zu fix lumina de la cap\u0103tul tuneului.<br \/>\n\u00ce\u015fi aminti ce\u0163os \u015fi vag cum \u00ee\u015fi trasase sarcin\u0103 s\u0103 cumpere cafea, dar pe drumuri fiind, se luase cu treab\u0103, oameni, discu\u0163ii, probleme, urgen\u0163e, rahaturi, \u015fi uitase cu des\u0103v\u00e2r\u015fire de cafea.<br \/>\n-Baag p***la, oft\u0103 din str\u0103fundul abisurilor sufletului Vasile.<br \/>\nApoi se \u00eempletici cu chiu cu vai la hipermarketul din col\u0163, rupt de somn \u015fi am\u0103r\u00e2t ca un pui de bogdaproste, s\u0103-\u015fi cumpere cafea. \u00ce\u015fi uit\u0103 \u015fi cardul, noroc c\u0103 tanti Nu\u0163i \u00eel \u015ftia suficient de bine \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103-i dea pe \u00eencredere, \u015fi a trecut el cu banii peste o jum\u0103tate de or\u0103, c\u00e2nd a redevenit persoan\u0103. <\/p>\n<p>*** <\/p>\n<p>Vineri diminea\u0163\u0103. Vasile se recuper\u0103 cu greu din pat \u015fi se zb\u0103tu t\u00e2r\u00e2\u015f &#8211; gr\u0103pi\u015f s\u0103 ajung\u0103 la buc\u0103t\u0103rie. De data asta fusese pe faz\u0103. Avea cafea de trei tipuri, lapte integral, lapte la 1,5% gr\u0103sime \u015fi lapte de migdale. Era aprovizionat ca un supermarket. Putea deschide propria lui cafenea, dac\u0103 avea chef.<br \/>\nLu\u0103 ibricul, \u00eel puse pe aragaz. Aprinse bricheta. Apoi roti butonul aferent ochiului mediu, pe care f\u0103cea de obicei cafeaua. Lini\u015fte. Lini\u015fte suspect\u0103.<br \/>\n\u015ei-\u015fi aminti ce\u0163os \u015fi vag cum v\u0103zuse ceva bile\u0163el nou pe la avizierul blocului, dar nu citise, c\u0103 Vasile era mai presus de rahaturi de-astea banale, dar sigur era un avertisment de revizie tehnic\u0103 sau ceva de genul.<br \/>\n-Bag p***********************la, r\u0103cni Vasile spre z\u0103ri. <\/p>\n<p>Apoi, avu o revela\u0163ie. \u00ce\u015fi aminti de termoplonjonul achizi\u0163ionat cu 2 euro vara trecut\u0103, de la turci. <\/p>\n<p>Foto: pixabay.com <\/p>\n<div>\u00a0***<\/div>\n<p>\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/paypal.me\/Trollywood\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-14577\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=160%2C160&amp;ssl=1 160w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=320%2C320&amp;ssl=1 320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=184%2C184&amp;ssl=1 184w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=600%2C600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=100%2C100&amp;ssl=1 100w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?w=931&amp;ssl=1 931w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Primul lucru pe care-l f\u0103cea Vasile diminea\u0163a, de cum \u00ee\u015fi extr\u0103gea osemintele din pat, era o cafea. F\u0103r\u0103 cafea, lumea lui Vasile era posomor\u00e2t\u0103&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15185,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15184","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/coffee.jpg?fit=640%2C640&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15184","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15184"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15184\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15187,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15184\/revisions\/15187"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15185"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15184"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15184"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15184"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}