{"id":15282,"date":"2018-07-11T08:54:52","date_gmt":"2018-07-11T05:54:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=15282"},"modified":"2018-07-11T08:55:57","modified_gmt":"2018-07-11T05:55:57","slug":"balada-anaf-ului","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/balada-anaf-ului\/","title":{"rendered":"Balada ANAF-ului"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mai nou v\u0103d urm\u0103torul trend absolut iritant \u00een social media: c\u00e2nd un autor online public\u0103 o glumi\u0163\u0103, sau o poz\u0103 sexi, sau un articol care ne convine, lol, haha, Lorena te iubim, inimioar\u0103, mesaj privat cu c\u0103\u0163el, pisic\u0103, mesaj privat cu glum\u0103 de pe 9gag.
\nC\u00e2nd autorul online \u00ee\u015fi anun\u0163\u0103 un nou proiect, ne facem c\u0103 plou\u0103 \u015fi abia doi-trei ar\u0103t\u0103m o urm\u0103 palid\u0103 de interes.<\/p>\n

E momentul s-o spun. M\u0103 doare ad\u00e2nc \u00een pool\u0103 de iubirea manifestat\u0103 strict declarativ, de inimioare, de mesaj privat cu c\u0103\u0163el \u015fi glum\u0103 de pe 9gag dac\u0103 nu se traduc \u015fi \u00een prezen\u0163a voastr\u0103 la un eveniment \u015fi \u00een interesul real fa\u0163\u0103 de un nou proiect pe care \u00eel am. N-ave\u0163i dec\u00e2t s\u0103 v\u0103 b\u0103ga\u0163i \u00een coor toate declara\u0163iile de amor. Sau se traduc prin prezen\u0163a voastr\u0103 acolo, sau hai sictir din ad\u00e2ncul inimii.<\/p>\n

Evenimentul este \u0103sta<\/a><\/strong>, \u015fi dac\u0103 e\u015fti vreunul sau vreuna din Bucure\u015fti care nu vei fi acolo pe 26 iulie, ai block pe mesaje private data viitoare c\u00e2nd \u00eemi mai trimi\u0163i un rahat antihaz care nu m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103. Nu m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103 scuze, fi\u0163e, figuri, e show interactiv \u015fi ave\u0163i dou\u0103 op\u0163iuni: sau m\u0103 sus\u0163ine\u0163i c\u00e2nd am nevoie de voi, sau NU m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103 s\u0103 v\u0103 distrez \u00een continuare pe moca. Poate chiar fac un “oi\u0163\u0103rism” \u015fi \u00eenchid blogul cu totul, cu diferen\u0163a c\u0103 eu \u00eel \u015fi \u015fterg, s\u0103 nu mai existe “Eram bolnav\u0103, dar \u0163i-am luat textele la r\u00e2nd \u015fi n-am \u015ftiut cum a trecut timpul \u015fi m-am sim\u0163it mai bine”. Sau recompensezi asta prin interes fa\u0163\u0103 de proiectele omului, sau s\u0103 te trateze sistemul medical rom\u00e2nesc.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Bun. Acum, hai s\u0103 povestim despre un chin creativ care a luat sf\u00e2r\u015fit luni la ANAF.<\/p>\n

Piesele noastre sunt pamflete. Ca atare, majoritatea sunt s\u0103lt\u0103re\u0163e, vesele \u015fi, pentru mine, relativ u\u015for de scris. Ceea ce ne lipsea \u00eens\u0103 era o balad\u0103. O balad\u0103 autentic\u0103, lent\u0103, romantic\u0103, trist\u0103 \u015fi profund\u0103, de fluturat brichete aprinse \u00een aer. Ce e Metallica f\u0103r\u0103 The Unforgiven 1, 2 \u015fi 3? Ce e Guns N’ Roses f\u0103r\u0103 November Rain? Ce e Led Zeppelin f\u0103r\u0103 Stairway to Heaven? Ce e Scorpions f\u0103r\u0103 \u00eentreaga discografie?<\/p>\n

Exact. Nu se poate. Ne trebuie o balad\u0103.
\nDar pentru c\u0103 noi suntem ZZ Bottom, e cazul s\u0103 p\u0103str\u0103m propor\u0163iile, prin urmare, singura noastr\u0103 balad\u0103 extrem de melodioas\u0103, de trist\u0103 \u015fi t\u00e2nguitoare de jale s-a n\u0103scut pe durata celor trei ore petrecute de mine la coad\u0103, la ANAF.<\/p>\n

Prima or\u0103 am fiert de nervi la foc mic. A doua or\u0103, deja \u00eemi b\u0103gam pooli \u00een mamele tuturor politicienilor rom\u00e2ni mici \u015fi mari. \u015ei \u00een a treia or\u0103, m-a izbit inspira\u0163ia. Am scos mobilul, am deschis Word-ul \u015fi am tastat precum urmeaz\u0103.<\/p>\n

Balada ANAF-ului <\/strong><\/p>\n

de Zoltan Almighty
\n(personajul meu din trup\u0103, o s\u0103 vede\u0163i voi la spectacol.)<\/p>\n

\u00cenfloresc gr\u0103dinile de var\u0103<\/strong>
\nCeru-i ca oglinda, ce suav,<\/strong>
\nToat\u0103 lumea zburd\u0103 pe afar\u0103<\/strong>
\nEu stau la coad\u0103 la ANAF<\/strong>
\nToat\u0103 lumea-n lanuri de secar\u0103,<\/strong>
\nEu stau la coad\u0103 la ANAF<\/strong><\/p>\n

M-a p\u0103r\u0103sit iubirea mea cea fin\u0103<\/strong>
\nS-a m\u0103ritat cu un arab<\/strong>
\nAu deja o cas\u0103 cu piscin\u0103<\/strong>
\nEu stau la coad\u0103 la ANAF<\/strong>
\nEi fac amor l\u00e2ng\u0103 piscin\u0103<\/strong>
\nEu stau la coad\u0103 la ANAF.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u015eeful \u00eentre timp m-a dat afar\u0103<\/strong>
\nFamilia, devastat\u0103 de un jaf,<\/strong>
\nColegii mi-au pus lucrurile-n scar\u0103<\/strong>
\nDe c\u00e2nd stau la coad\u0103 la ANAF<\/strong>
\nCreierul meu trage-ncet s\u0103 moar\u0103<\/strong>
\nEu stau la coad\u0103 la ANAF<\/strong><\/p>\n

S-a schimbat \u015fi axa planetar\u0103<\/strong>
\nMun\u0163ii to\u0163i s-au transformat \u00een praf<\/strong>
\nS-a topit calota glaciar\u0103<\/strong>
\nEu stau la coad\u0103 la ANAF<\/strong>
\nS-a stins ultima raz\u0103 solar\u0103<\/strong>
\nA r\u0103mas doar coada la ANAF<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 nu veni\u0163i s\u0103 flutur\u0103m brichete aprinse pe capodopera asta, n-ave\u0163i univers interior.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0***<\/div>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

Foto: observator.tv.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mai nou v\u0103d urm\u0103torul trend absolut iritant \u00een social media: c\u00e2nd un autor online public\u0103 o glumi\u0163\u0103, sau o poz\u0103 sexi, sau un articol...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15283,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15282","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/anaf.jpg?fit=840%2C558&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15282","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15282"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15282\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15287,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15282\/revisions\/15287"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15283"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15282"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15282"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15282"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}