Nimic nu spune \u201csunt un idiot absolut\u201d ca nevoia de a cr\u0103pa \u00een tine \u00een vederea impresionantului efort de a \u015fede cu dind\u0103r\u0103tul pe un scaun c\u00e2teva ore. Bonus dac\u0103 \u0163i-ai pus la pachet alimente care put de-i mut\u0103 vecinului t\u0103u de c\u0103l\u0103torie nasul p\u00e2n\u0103 la ureche \u015fi-l transform\u0103 \u00eentr-o pictur\u0103 de Picasso. O legend\u0103 urban\u0103 spune c\u0103 Picasso \u00eensu\u015fi a \u00eenceput s\u0103 picteze portretele pe care le \u015ftim \u00een urma traumei unei c\u0103l\u0103torii cu un tren rom\u00e2nesc. <\/p>\n
2. Ai vecini de compartiment care stau pe laptopuri, tablete, telefoane? Bele\u015fte f\u0103r\u0103 jen\u0103 ochii \u00een mesajele erotice pe care le schimb\u0103 cu minimum cinci combatan\u0163i, sau, \u00een cazul meu, viitorul articol de blog.<\/strong><\/p>\n Specificul na\u0163ional nu e dat de ie, fot\u0103, pu\u015fca \u015fi cureaua lat\u0103, ci de o f**ere intens\u0103 de grij\u0103 legat\u0103 de capra vecinului \u015fi de dorin\u0163e criminale viz\u00e2nd-o pe aceea\u015fi. Ne chinuie un interes at\u00e2t de acerb, de ap\u0103sat \u015fi de spasmodic legat de toate lucrurile care nu ne privesc \u00eenc\u00e2t, dac\u0103 am investi acest interes \u00een munc\u0103, am dep\u0103\u015fi Japonia ca bun\u0103stare. 3. Vorbe\u015fte tare. S\u0103 aud\u0103 toat\u0103 lumea c\u00e2t e\u015fti de idiot. Doamne fere\u015fte s\u0103-i la\u015fi cu dubii.<\/strong><\/p>\n Dou\u0103 cucoane, \u00een compartimentul de al\u0103turi. Una rotofeie (nu e fat shaming, n-o judec), se justific\u0103: \u201eAm fierea lene\u015f\u0103, ar trebui s\u0103 iau silimarin\u0103.\u201d (Eu zic c\u0103 e\u015fti lene\u015f\u0103 tu cu totul, ar trebui s\u0103 iei av\u00e2nt din fa\u0163a televizorului, \u00een primul r\u00e2nd, dar pe bune: nu c\u0103uta justific\u0103ri. A\u015fa e\u015fti tu. Alta maic\u0103-ta nu mai face. M\u0103car nu inventa bullshit.) 4. D\u0103 Mozart la tot cartierul<\/strong><\/p>\n Sigur, Mozart e o figur\u0103 de stil. Dac\u0103 pui muzica (\u00eendeob\u015fte proast\u0103, c\u0103 oamenii cu gusturi muzicale decente au de obicei \u015fi \u015fapte ani de acas\u0103) tare de tot, s\u0103 aud\u0103 tot universul, sigur o s\u0103 te ynvydyeze to\u0163i c\u0103 e\u015fti jmeker d\u0103 jmeker \u015fi cel mai adev\u0103rat. Lol, nu. O s\u0103 te \u00eenjure \u00een g\u00e2nd \u015fi o s\u0103 te viseze cu m\u00e2inile \u00eencruci\u015fate \u015fi cu lum\u00e2nare pe piept. <\/p>\n 5. Ceart\u0103-te cu nevasta sau tovar\u0103\u015ful<\/strong><\/p>\n F\u0103r\u0103 un mic conflict \u00een c\u00e2mpul muncii sau \u00een cel privat, via\u0163a e pustiu. Musai urla\u0163i unul la altul, s\u0103 par\u0103 c\u0103 mai ave\u0163i un pic \u015fi scoate\u0163i toporul din geamantan s\u0103 rezolva\u0163i problema ca \u00een satul vostru natal. Musai etala\u0163i tot repertoriul de \u00eenjur\u0103turi din dotare, referin\u0163e intime care s\u0103 hr\u0103neasc\u0103 f**erea de grij\u0103 amintit\u0103 la punctul 2, a publicului, \u015fi dac\u0103 nu promi\u0163i din trei \u00een trei minute c\u0103-l arunci pe \u0103la din tren, nu faci treab\u0103. <\/p>\n 6. Ai de cobor\u00e2t la Predeal? \u00cencepe s\u0103 te agi\u0163i de la Comarnic.<\/strong><\/p>\n Ridic\u0103-te. \u00centreab\u0103 c\u00e2t e ceasul. A\u015faz\u0103-te la loc. Mai \u00eentreab\u0103 o dat\u0103 c\u00e2t e ceasul. Cere prostului din compartiment s\u0103-\u0163i dea jos geamantanul. Mergi spre u\u015f\u0103. D\u0103-\u0163i seama c\u0103 e foarte devreme. Revino \u00een compartiment. Cere-i prostului s\u0103-\u0163i pun\u0103 geamantanul \u00eenapoi. Stai un minut. Cere-i prostului s\u0103-\u0163i mai coboare geamantanul. Se \u015ftie c\u0103 visul lui e s\u0103 fac\u0103 bra\u0163e ca \u00een sculpturi \u015fi tu-l antrenezi moca. Sper c\u0103 v-am fost de folos. \ud83d\ude42 <\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n *** Poate unii au un wishlist mai special, pe care e inclus\u0103 dorin\u0163a \u201ccum s\u0103 m\u0103 fac de r\u00e2s public\u201d. Azi, discut\u0103m cazul trenurilor pentru...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14239,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15369","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/tren.jpg?fit=640%2C353&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15369","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15369"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15369\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17506,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15369\/revisions\/17506"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14239"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15369"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15369"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15369"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nOpa, acum observ c\u0103 tanti \u015fi-a luat ochii din laptopul meu \u015fi mimeaz\u0103 c\u0103 se uita pe geam. Yaaas. Primul meu articol care mi-e util \u015fi mie cu ceva. <\/p>\n
\nCealalt\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi analizeaz\u0103 rela\u0163ia s\u0103 \u015ftie tot vagonul: \u201eEu am b\u0103rbat iubitor, nu m\u0103 d\u0103 cu capul de pere\u0163i. Uite, la vecina vine salvarea \u00een fiecare s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103, e sup\u0103rat b\u0103rbatu’ c\u0103 a luat-o slab\u0103 \u015fi c\u0103 acum s-a \u00eengr\u0103\u015fat.\u201d Cucoana gras\u0103: \u201eS\u0103-l dea ea cu capul de pere\u0163i pe el\u201d.
\nIar dac\u0103 scriam eu o scenet\u0103 cu dou\u0103 astfel de personaje, \u00eemi zicea\u0163i c\u0103 exagerez eu. <\/p>\n
\nApoi, la Sinaia, propte\u015fte-te \u00een u\u015f\u0103 \u015fi provoac\u0103-i pe \u0103ia care chiar coboar\u0103 la gara respectiv\u0103 s\u0103 te ocoleasc\u0103 cu bagaje, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-\u0163i administreze una. <\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
<\/a><\/p>\n
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a> \u015fi Instagram<\/a>. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"