{"id":15418,"date":"2018-08-18T10:16:13","date_gmt":"2018-08-18T07:16:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=15418"},"modified":"2018-08-18T10:16:13","modified_gmt":"2018-08-18T07:16:13","slug":"am-castigat-democratic-alegerile","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/am-castigat-democratic-alegerile\/","title":{"rendered":"“Am c\u00e2\u015ftigat democratic alegerile”"},"content":{"rendered":"

A\u0163i auzit-o pe asta aproape zilnic. A\u0163i auzit-o la televiziuni, a\u0163i auzit-o pe Facebook, a\u0163i auzit-o la conferin\u0163e de pres\u0103, a\u0163i auzit-o \u015fi \u00een pia\u0163\u0103, c\u00e2nd se freac\u0103 unul periculos de aproape de geanta voastr\u0103, voi \u00eel privi\u0163i acuzator \u015fi trage\u0163i de ea, s-o scoate\u0163i din afara sferei lui de ciordeal\u0103, iar \u0103la m\u00e2r\u00e2ie ameni\u0163\u0103tor: “Ce-ai, f\u0103, am c\u00e2\u015ftigat democratic alegerile”. <\/p>\n

Conte\u015fti o OUG dat\u0103 noaptea ca ho\u0163ii? “Am c\u00e2\u015ftigat democratic alegerile”. Conte\u015fti o lege care arunc\u0103 o mul\u0163ime de bani de la buget \u00eentr-o futilitate? “Am c\u00e2\u015ftigat democratic alegerile”. Conte\u015fti alte legi, care promoveaz\u0103 infrac\u0163ionalitatea? “Am c\u00e2\u015ftigat democratic alegerile”. Conte\u015fti o apari\u0163ie public\u0103 dubitabil\u0103? “Am c\u00e2\u015ftigat democratic alegerile”. Conte\u015fti o vizit\u0103 extern\u0103 care s-a terminat \u00een r\u00e2sul cu spume al oricui s-a uitat? “Am c\u00e2\u015ftigat democratic alegerile”. Conte\u015fti modalitatea profund nedemocratic\u0103 de a da cu gaze \u015fi b\u0103taie \u00een oameni pa\u015fnici? “Am c\u00e2\u015ftigat democratic alegerile”. <\/p>\n

Cumva, \u00een opinia unora, c\u00e2\u015ftigatul democratic al alegerilor te absolv\u0103 miraculos de orice responsabilitate. <\/p>\n

M\u0103mic\u0103: Gigel, iar nu \u0163i-ai f\u0103cut curat \u00een camer\u0103.
\nGigel: Am c\u00e2\u015ftigat democratic alegerile. <\/p>\n

Call center Vodafone: Bun\u0103 ziua, v\u0103 reamintim c\u0103 ave\u0163i o factur\u0103 neachitat\u0103 \u00een valoare de…
\nClient: Am c\u00e2\u015ftigat democratic alegerile. <\/p>\n

So\u0163: Femeie, \u00een ultima vreme nu prea mai facem sex, ce naiba?
\nSo\u0163ia: Am c\u00e2\u015ftigat democratic alegerile \u015fi vecinul e mai bun la pat. <\/p>\n

C\u00e2\u015ftigatul democratic al alegerilor are exact zero leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu mersul trenurilor, cotele apelor Dun\u0103rii, ce mai g\u0103tim azi \u015fi a, da: modul \u00een care \u00ee\u0163i desf\u0103\u015fori activitatea din punctul \u00een care ai c\u00e2\u015ftigat democratic alegerile \u00eencolo. <\/p>\n

Apropo de asta, prietena mea Marusia are o metafor\u0103 preferat\u0103. Vrea unul s\u0103 se combine cu tine. \u00ce\u0163i susur\u0103 catifelat “\u00eendr\u0103zne\u015fte s\u0103 crezi”, \u00ee\u0163i promite marea cu sarea, \u00ee\u0163i jur\u0103 iubire etern\u0103 \u015fi ploaie cu petale de trandafir \u00een fiecare zi. Tu te m\u0103ri\u0163i. Din secunda aia, \u0103la \u00ee\u0163i las\u0103 toat\u0103 treaba \u00een c\u00e2rc\u0103, irose\u015fte banii familiei pe undi\u0163e de pescuit scumpe, se \u00eemprumut\u0103 la to\u0163i vecinii \u00een numele t\u0103u, iar c\u00e2nd \u00eel \u00eentrebi din ce pl\u0103ti\u0163i \u00eentre\u0163inerea, \u00ee\u0163i \u015fi rade vreo dou\u0103 \u015fi-\u0163i explic\u0103: “Am c\u00e2\u015ftigat democratic alegerile.” <\/p>\n

Gen, dac\u0103 ai zis “da”, acum suport\u0103 orice m\u0103g\u0103rie, oric\u00e2nd, oricum, pentru c\u0103 scrie “prost” pe fruntea ta sau ceva de genul. <\/p>\n

Eu am o alt\u0103 metafor\u0103, care s\u0103 fie scutit\u0103 de b\u0103ie\u0163a\u015fi sup\u0103ra\u0163i \u015fi de #notallmen. <\/p>\n

S\u0103 zicem, tu m\u0103 pl\u0103te\u015fti pe mine s\u0103-\u0163i \u0163in siteul firmei. M-ai ales pentru c\u0103 sunt funny, inteligent\u0103, \u015fi \u015ftiu s\u0103 scriu. Pe scurt, am c\u00e2\u015ftigat democratic alegerile. <\/p>\n

Dar din secunda \u00een care m-am \u00eensc\u0103unat la biroul nou-nou\u0163 de stejar masiv pe care mi-l pui la dispozi\u0163ie, eu \u00eencep s\u0103 stau pe RedTube, World of Warcraft \u015fi siteuri de fan fiction erotic cu Lady Gaga. <\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd tu \u00eemi zici: B\u0103i, Lorena, pentru ce p**a lui Hector \u00ee\u0163i dau eu salariu lun\u0103 de lun\u0103? <\/p>\n

Eu m\u0103 uit senin \u00een ochii t\u0103i \u015fi-\u0163i r\u0103spund: <\/p>\n

-Am c\u00e2\u015ftigat democratic alegerile. <\/p>\n

OK. Le-ai c\u00e2\u015ftigat democratic. \u015ei dup\u0103? <\/p>\n

***<\/div>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Urm\u0103torul spectacol “NCSF” al trupei mele de parodii ZZ Bottom e pe 25 august, la Bispen Restaurant, Calea 13 Septembrie 108 – 112 (dincolo de Marriott, pe acela\u015fi trotuar), iar \u00een pre\u0163ul biletului intr\u0103 \u015fi un free drink de la S\u00e2mbure\u015fti.
\nEvent aici<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A\u0163i auzit-o pe asta aproape zilnic. A\u0163i auzit-o la televiziuni, a\u0163i auzit-o pe Facebook, a\u0163i auzit-o la conferin\u0163e de pres\u0103, a\u0163i auzit-o \u015fi \u00een...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15419,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15418","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/sex-wars-103.jpg?fit=562%2C452&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15418","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15418"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15418\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15420,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15418\/revisions\/15420"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15419"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15418"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15418"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15418"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}