{"id":15453,"date":"2018-08-25T11:06:55","date_gmt":"2018-08-25T08:06:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=15453"},"modified":"2018-08-25T11:07:50","modified_gmt":"2018-08-25T08:07:50","slug":"examenul-de-admitere-in-psd","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/examenul-de-admitere-in-psd\/","title":{"rendered":"Examenul de admitere \u00een PSD"},"content":{"rendered":"

Context: \u00cen aceste zile, diver\u015fi membri PSD cu func\u0163ii importante au debitat stupizenii xenofobe, arogante, inexacte faptic sau cu implica\u0163ii de-a dreptul obscene. Exemplu: “Ca neam\u021b, s\u0103 vorbe\u0219ti de gazare trebuie s\u0103 ai mult curaj”. <\/p>\n

Blonda: Bun\u0103 ziua.
\nPre\u015fedinte filial\u0103 local\u0103 PSD: O, doamna Rozeta, ce pl\u0103cere. Inima mea \u00eenc\u0103 palpit\u0103 ca o rozet\u0103, de c\u00e2te ori v\u0103 v\u0103d.
\nBlonda: \u0102h\u0103, ok. Dar eu nu pentru de-astea am venit.
\nPFLPSD: Dar pentru ce, minun\u0103\u0163ie ambulant\u0103 sublim\u0103 \u015fi iubibil\u0103 pe toate p\u0103r\u0163ile?
\nBlonda: Vreau s\u0103 candidez \u015fi eu \u00een Parlament.
\nPFLPSD: Wow.
\nBlonda: De ce wow? Insinuezi c\u0103 nu m\u0103 calific?
\nPFLPSD: Nu insinuez nimic, doar c\u0103 m-am cam… emo\u0163ionat. \u0102\u0103\u0103\u0103, sunt c\u00e2teva teste pe care trebuie s\u0103 le dai.
\nBlonda: Cum a\u015fa? Vrei s\u0103 zici c\u0103 nu ajunge s\u0103 treci pe la o filial\u0103 PSD \u015fi s\u0103 confesezi c\u0103 vrei s\u0103 fii prim ministru?
\nPFLPSD: Din p\u0103cate, nu.
\nBlonda: A\u015f fi putut jura. \u00cen fine, care-s condi\u0163iile.
\nPFLPSD: \u00cen primul r\u00e2nd, trebuie s\u0103-\u0163i finan\u0163ezi campania.
\nBlonda: Ooook.
\nPFLPSD: Ai capital?
\nBlonda: Tataie, vezi tu buzele astea umflate ca ni\u015fte c\u00e2rn\u0103ciori polonezi \u00een stare optim\u0103 de excita\u0163ie? Ele sunt capitalul \u015fi punctul meu de lucru.
\nPFLPSD: Oooh. Ok. Deci logistica bifat.
\nBlonda: Bifat cu n\u0103dejde.
\nPFLPSD: Acum hai s\u0103 te testez la impresia artistic\u0103.
\nBlonda: \u0102la e punctul meu slab, c\u0103 nu mi-a pl\u0103cut g\u0103l\u0103gia niciodat\u0103. Dar haide.
\nPFLPSD: S\u0103 \u00eencepem cu testul de incultur\u0103 general\u0103. Ce spunem c\u00e2nd cobor\u00e2m la Paris \u00eentr-o vizit\u0103 diplomatic\u0103?
\nBlonda: Gututentag, ich liebe dich.
\nPFLPSD: Excelent r\u0103spuns. Dar la Beijing?
\nBlonda: “Vreau \u015fi eu un xerox ca al vostru, s\u0103 m\u0103 copiez \u00een o mie de exemplare.”
\nPFLPSD: Prea vag.
\nBlonda: \u015ei o oal\u0103 de sushi proasp\u0103t aburind, v\u0103 rog.
\nPFLPSD: Dar la Moscova?
\nBlonda: Vladimir, liubov, vreau s\u0103-\u0163i \u00eengurgitez mo\u015ftenitorii.
\nPFLPSD: Bravo! Vizionar. Probabil c\u0103 ai \u015fi o variant\u0103 pentru Trump.
\nBlonda: De c\u00e2te ori v\u0103 v\u0103d, m\u0103re\u0163 conduc\u0103tor, m\u0103 taie un pipi. Unul mai portocaliu dec\u00e2t dumneavoastr\u0103.
\nPFLPSD: E\u015fti superb\u0103. Deja te v\u0103d lider. Hai s\u0103 trecem la testul de divaga\u0163ie.
\nBlonda: Hai.
\nPFLPSD: Ce-ai m\u00e2ncat azi diminea\u0163\u0103?
\nBlonda: Diminea\u0163a e acea perioad\u0103 a zilei c\u00e2nd fluxul energetic p\u0103truns de sinergia faptelor se revergoreaz\u0103 \u00een infinite fluide ale unei extorsiuni \u00eentr-o ap\u0103.
\nPFLPSD: \u015ei la mine! Rozeto, m\u0103 abrambure\u015fti total. Dar d\u0103 \u015fi tu un r\u0103spuns mai accesibil. Dac\u0103 pari prea telectoal\u0103, i-ai pierdut.
\nBlonda: Diminea\u0163a ciripesc p\u0103s\u0103relele \u015fi dau din aripioare. C\u00e2inele moare de drum lung \u015fi prostul de grija altuia.
\nPFLPSD: A\u015fa, iubito. Nimic nu e mai sublim dec\u00e2t un proverb total f\u0103r\u0103 leg\u0103tur\u0103. Cu cine ai fost certat\u0103 ultima oar\u0103?
\nBlonda: Statul paralel vine noapte de noapte la mine-n frigider \u015fi-mi fur\u0103 flacona\u015fele de botox.
\nPFLPSD: Unde \u00ee\u0163i place s\u0103 faci dragoste?
\nBlonda: Eu fac dec\u00e2t dragoste de partid, \u015fi o fac oriunde se pl\u0103te\u015fte bine.
\nPFLPSD: Frumos spus, mi-a dat deja o lacrim\u0103 \u00eentr-un loc neprecizat. Acum, la final, testul de arogan\u0163\u0103.
\nBlonda: Aici e cel mai simplu. “Alt\u0103 \u00eentrebare. Alt\u0103 persoan\u0103. Alte impozite. Alt\u0103 ma\u015fin\u0103 de lux. Alt\u0103 vil\u0103. Alte conturi \u00een paradisuri fiscale. Alte \u015fp\u0103gi.”
\nPFLPSD: “Ba noi vrem r\u0103spunsuri, pe impozitele noastre.”
\nBlonda: Vrutul e la liber, iar impozitele vi le loa oricum b\u0103ie\u0163ii. Zice\u0163i mersi c\u0103 ave\u0163i o \u0163oal\u0103 p\u0103 voi \u015fi din\u0163i \u00een gur\u0103.
\nPFLPSD: Sfinte c\u0103cat. M-a trecut un fior artistic. Bravo, Rozeta. E\u015fti de viitor, fat\u0103. <\/p>\n

(Se aude o notificare pe Whatsapp.) <\/p>\n

PFLPSD: M\u0103 scuzi pu\u0163in, e \u015fefu’.
\nBlonda: P\u0103i \u015fefu’ a asistat \u015fi el la examen?
\nPFLPSD: Da, te-am filmat eu cu mobilul.
\nBlonda: M\u0103 rog. Dac\u0103 \u015ftiam, m\u0103 puneam \u00een unghiul de selfie. \u00cen fine, ce zice?
\nPFLPSD: Nu te califici fizic. <\/p>\n

Blonda (total \u015focat\u0103, f\u0103r\u0103 aer): Poftim?
\nPFLPSD: Da. Citez: “Unde e figura de primat\u0103 modificat\u0103 genetic cu un cap\u0103t de grebl\u0103 peste ochi? Unde sunt f\u0103lcile de gospodin\u0103 f\u0103c\u0103toare \u015fi devoratoare de sarmale la ceaun? S\u0103 fac\u0103 minimum patru opera\u0163ii inestetice \u015fi vorbim”. <\/p>\n

Foto: pixabay.com. <\/p>\n

***<\/div>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Urm\u0103torul spectacol “NCSF” al trupei mele de parodii ZZ Bottom e AZI, la Bispen Restaurant, Calea 13 Septembrie 108 – 112 (dincolo de Marriott, pe acela\u015fi trotuar), iar \u00een pre\u0163ul biletului intr\u0103 \u015fi un free drink de la S\u00e2mbure\u015fti.
\nEvent aici<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Context: \u00cen aceste zile, diver\u015fi membri PSD cu func\u0163ii importante au debitat stupizenii xenofobe, arogante, inexacte faptic sau cu implica\u0163ii de-a dreptul obscene. Exemplu:...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15457,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15453","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/beauty.jpg?fit=640%2C425&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15453","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15453"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15453\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15460,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15453\/revisions\/15460"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15457"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15453"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15453"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15453"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}