{"id":15474,"date":"2018-08-28T09:10:33","date_gmt":"2018-08-28T06:10:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=15474"},"modified":"2018-08-28T09:10:33","modified_gmt":"2018-08-28T06:10:33","slug":"ciocolata-confortabila","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/ciocolata-confortabila\/","title":{"rendered":"Ciocolata confortabil\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ast\u0103zi, iubi\u0163i cititori, vom vorbi despre pl\u0103ceri vinovate. Despre lucruri pe care n-ar trebui s\u0103 le vis\u0103m, dat fiind contextul, \u015fi despre cum nu ne putem ab\u0163ine. \u015ei cum putem rezista tenta\u0163iei, ced\u00e2ndu-i. Azi vom vorbi despre cea mai inocent\u0103 pl\u0103cere vinovat\u0103. \u015ei anume ciocolata confortabil\u0103.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Acum, \u00een august, m-am dus \u015fi eu acas\u0103 la Sf\u00e2ntu Gheorghe, s\u0103 petrec timp cu mama. Ajung acas\u0103, relaxare, m\u00e2ncare ca la mama acas\u0103, odihn\u0103, pove\u015fti. \u015ei pe la 11 noaptea, m-a g\u0103sit jalea.<\/p>\n

-Aoleu, ce poft\u0103 mi-e de ciocolat\u0103.<\/p>\n

-N-am. P\u0103i nu ziceai tu c\u0103 \u0163ii cur\u0103 de sl\u0103bire.<\/p>\n

-Ba ziceam, dar turbez de pofta ciocolatei. \u00cennebunesc. Mor.<\/p>\n

\u00cen fine, beau eu ceva alcool \u015fi parchez pe dreapta. Dup\u0103 vreo trei ore de \u00eenv\u00e2rteal\u0103 prin pat, adorm.<\/p>\n

A doua zi c\u00e2nd m\u0103 trezesc, mama z\u00e2mbe\u015fte. Fusese deja la magazin \u015fi cump\u0103rase o Milka uria\u015f\u0103 cu alune.<\/p>\n

-O da, m\u0103 bucur eu \u015fi \u00eencep s\u0103 gem extatic ca o pornostare\u0163\u0103. Apoi parchez ciocolata \u00een frigider.<\/p>\n

-P\u0103i nu o m\u0103n\u00e2nci, \u00eentreab\u0103 mama.<\/p>\n

-Nu acum. E pentru sear\u0103.<\/p>\n

-Dar seara \u00eengra\u015f\u0103, m\u0103 informeaz\u0103 binevoitoare mama.<\/p>\n

-Nu conteaz\u0103.<\/p>\n

Buoooon. Se las\u0103 seara. Scot eu Milka din frigider, mi-o pun frumos pe noptier\u0103. Apoi scriu rahaturi, m\u0103 uit la filme, fac abdomene \u015fi m\u0103 culc.<\/p>\n

Diminea\u0163a, m\u0103 vede mama cu Milka neatins\u0103.<\/p>\n

-P\u0103i plm, zice ea.<\/p>\n

-Hai s-o b\u0103g\u0103m \u00een frigider, s\u0103 nu se topeasc\u0103 la soare, propun eu.<\/p>\n

-Nu \u00een\u0163eleg nimic, zice ea.<\/p>\n

\u015ei trece o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103, \u00een care Milka aia a f\u0103cut naveta. Seara l\u00e2ng\u0103 mine, ziua \u00een frigider.<\/p>\n

-Fata mea, face mama, eu nu mai \u00een\u0163eleg absolut nimic. De ce m-ai pus s\u0103-\u0163i cump\u0103r ciocolat\u0103, dac\u0103 oricum n-o m\u0103n\u00e2nci.<\/p>\n

-Pentru confortul meu sufletesc.<\/p>\n

-Adic\u0103?<\/p>\n

-Adic\u0103 asta e ciocolata mea confortabil\u0103. C\u00e2nd nu exist\u0103, am atacuri de panic\u0103 de la pofta de dulce. C\u00e2nd exist\u0103, am certitudinea faptului c\u0103 e la \u00eendem\u00e2n\u0103, c\u0103 o pot desface oric\u00e2nd, \u015fi asta m\u0103 ajut\u0103 s\u0103 n-am panici \u015fi s\u0103 pot rezista la diet\u0103.<\/p>\n

-A, deci de fapt tu nu vrei ciocolat\u0103 s-o m\u0103n\u00e2nci, ci doar s\u0103 te ui\u0163i din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd la ea, s-a prins mama.<\/p>\n

-Exactly.<\/p>\n

-Nu e\u015fti s\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103.<\/p>\n

-Nu-s.<\/p>\n

\u015ei c\u00e2nd \u00eemi f\u0103ceam bagajul s\u0103 plec spre Bucure\u015fti, mama:<\/p>\n

-S\u0103-\u0163i pun ciocolata la pachet?<\/p>\n

-Nu, mul\u0163umesc. Am c\u00e2teva tablete de ciocolat\u0103 confortabil\u0103 \u00een frigider.<\/p>\n

-\u015ei ce v\u00e2rst\u0103 are?<\/p>\n

-\u00cen jur de patru luni. Uneori am totu\u015fi seri depresive \u015fi le m\u0103n\u00e2nc. Nu las s\u0103 se creeze Muzeul de Ciocolat\u0103 Confortabil\u0103 “Lorena Lupu”.<\/p>\n

-O, Doamne.<\/p>\n

-Da, \u015ftiu. Dar al\u0163ii omoar\u0103 \u015fi fur\u0103. Eu doar plimb o ciocolat\u0103 \u00eentre pat \u015fi frigider.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Foto: pixabay.com<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Urm\u0103torul spectacol “NCSF” al trupei mele de parodii ZZ Bottom e pe 6 septembrie, la Blueberry Garden and Bistro, Strada Popa Nan, nr. 5.
\nEvent aici<\/a>. <\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ast\u0103zi, iubi\u0163i cititori, vom vorbi despre pl\u0103ceri vinovate. Despre lucruri pe care n-ar trebui s\u0103 le vis\u0103m, dat fiind contextul, \u015fi despre cum nu...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15480,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15474","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/background-2554_640.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15474","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15474"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15474\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15482,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15474\/revisions\/15482"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15480"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15474"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15474"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15474"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}